Music for an Ordinary Time
by freerangeegghead
Summary: Beca doesn't believe in romance & happy endings. It takes her years, a few weddings, a divorce and other forces of nature to realize that life begins outside one's comfort zone. A story about loss, love,friendships,transitions,growing up, acceptance, new beginnings, LIFE. Beca, Chloe with Jesse,etc. Sequel to "Remembrance of Songs Past".Plot-centric.Strictly NOT romance-centric.
1. Falling into Pieces

_**Summary: **__**People always disappoint no matter what, Beca Mitchell, eternal cynic and skeptic, thinks. She's never believed in destiny and happy endings. So when Jesse proves her right, she's not at all surprised. But fate seems to have other plans for her. How life begins for Beca when she finally lets go, opens her heart and mind to possibilities. Sequel to "Remembrance of Songs Past". **__****__**Beca/Jesse, Beca/Chloe. **_Angst,friendship, maybe romance.

_**Rated T - for language, themes, etc. But may change.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the prose (and themes, etc.). **_

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_**Power is being told you are not loved and not being destroyed by it. - Madonna**_

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Beca had forgotten her lunch date with Jesse.

She'd stayed up all night in front of her laptop alternately mixing music and listening to Moby, Prodigy, Chemical Brothers, Fatboy Slim, 8-Ball, Mum, Sigur Ros, the entire soundtrack of "The Beach" and "Trainspotting", completely fascinated by this entire genre of music that she was wondering why she'd missed. She'd spent that whole time listening to the music, eyes closed, lying on her bed, with her large headphones on her head, losing herself in the music. She'd actually fallen asleep to the music before she'd realized she had to turn her laptop off, to give it a rest, as she'd been playing Mass Effect on it the whole day when she wasn't mixing or listening to music or dozing off. She'd forgotten to set the alarm on and as a consequence, slept through the morning, and would have slept through the whole day had it not been for a loud ringing of her phone, lying beside her, announcing Fat Amy's call, which had gone on to voicemail. This was followed by Stacie's, then Cynthia Rose's, then Denise's, then Jessica's, all of them wondering where she is. She wonders briefly why everyone is trying to call her, before she realizes she's late for her lunch date with her husband.

The next few minutes thus are spent cursing, repeatedly saying the words, "Fuck", "Shit", and other more creative expletives as she jumps out of bed, searches for a clean pair of jeans, a top and long-sleeved shirt she could put on it. She glances at the clock and realizes there is no time to shower, so she pulls her hair back in a ponytail, grabs her keys and purse, puts on her shoes, slams the door of the apartment behind her and upon realizing that her car won't start, and that she cannot find a taxi and the bus will never come on time, decides to jog the few blocks to the latest happening exotic restaurant that Jesse wants to try.

She squints against the sun. She has forgotten her shades and the L.A. sun is harsher and brighter than usual against her eyes. It is hot and she is sweating and she is feeling uncomfortable and after a few blocks she's wheezing and out of breath and curses herself for not going to the gym like she'd promised herself she would. She stops, leans over, rests her palms on her thighs and takes a few deep breaths. Already she feels her side hurting, feels her lungs and throat burn from the exertion, feels her heart pound wildly against her chest. Through the ringing in her ears, she tries to rehearse the nth excuse she's going to tell Jesse for missing the nth date he's set up for them. Traffic? Work? A business meeting? No. She discards each lame excuse as quickly. She's a bad liar anyway. She goes with the truth in this one: she overslept, because she stayed up late, because she was doing her mixes for her gigs, and she'd forgotten to set the alarm, and her car wouldn't start, yada-yada. Jesse would understand. Jesse always understands. Jesse will grin and shake his head and roll his eyes and say, "What am I going to do with you, Beca?" before he puts his arms around her, kisses her forehead and leads her to some movie theater or other for the requisite movie date or otherwise that Jesse insisted they would have ever since they started dating. He, of course, will inevitably give her a running commentary on the film currently being shown, starting from the opening credits, to the acting, to the directing, to the lighting, to the cinematography, to the costume designs, and of course, the soundtrack, always the soundtrack. Lately, his running commentaries have become lengthier, even more agitated, like he's afraid of the emptiness that the silences between his commentaries opens up, preferring instead to fill the emptiness with words and Beca lets him, finding it much better to just let him talk and talk and talk, rather than make him shut up. Beca almost wishes they would check out the Asian Cinema Festival currently showing downtown, since Asian films had a reputation for minimalism that Beca liked, and which almost always shut Jesse up. She remembers that time she and Jesse had done the Asian movie marathon and Jesse had felt restless and disconcerted, not knowing what to make of Akira Kurosawa's films that featured mostly silences and a lot of body language and the elements. They thought it had only been Kurosawa's films, but they'd tried to watch Zhang Yimou's films and it had been the same, and they'd checked out Iranian and Thai and Korean films and they'd all been the same as well. What freaked Jesse out the most where the horror and thriller films, the ones from Japan, "The Ring", "The Grudge" and Park Chan Wook's "Old Boy" - all movies that featured horrifying scenes and sparse dialogue and no music to accompany the terror of a story unfolding in all its glorious horror. Jesse had tried to rectify it by watching European films with her, but that one time they'd watched "Let the Right One In" had Jesse feeling even more depressed. When Beca had wisely raised the issue of his love for Alfred Hitchcock movies and the music that Hitchcock used in most of his movies, Jesse only shrugs, finding Hitchcock fascinating but not in a way that would freak him out. Jesse could not make heads or tails with it - Jesse, with his happy endings and his feel-good movies, his "good-triumphing-over-evil", "glass-is-half-full", roses and balloons and rainbows and sunshine outlook on life - could not deal with the darkness, the dreariness, the despair and desolation that these films depicted. Beca finds that she likes these movies, quite enjoys them, finds them a bit more realistic, more believable, though she would rather not say anything to Jesse. Years of being with Jesse has schooled her in the fine art of cinema appreciation ("Cinema, Beca, not _movies_," he would tell her, clearly offended by how much recent movies have devolved since big movie studios took over), but she has never shared his love for the easy and more accessible feel-good blockbuster Steven Spielberg-George Lucas type of movies, preferring Renoir, Godard, Coctaeu, Bergman, Rossellini and aforementioned Asian filmmakers. The sparseness and minimalism serve the kind of art she can find herself appreciating, getting immersed in, and it reflects the kind of person she is. She finds most movies nowadays very boring and predictable anyway, and the soundtrack produced by these same movies equally incredibly boring, predictable and forgettable. Mostly she finds movie soundtracks, especially those for drama and thrillers, manipulative and contrived, intended to elicit some kind of emotion from the audience, compensating with manipulative music when the story is lacking.

She stops, realizing something. That's the thing isn't it? Jesse's just so different from her. She'd already noticed this when they were dating in college, and had obviously noticed this right through graduation and the moving in together that wasn't really moving in together because as soon as they both moved to L.A. they'd both landed gigs, and right through their wedding and marriage - but that difference has never been made more evident than now, when even their movie preferences vary so greatly as to seem so incompatible. She shakes these thoughts away from her mind though as she resumes walking.

She wonders what time it is and realizes she has forgotten her watch - the watch Jesse had given her for her birthday. To her horror, she's realized she's forgotten her wedding ring also. She feels entirely naked without it, seeing the empty space on the ring finger on her left hand where the ring is supposed to be and she feels slightly guilty for having forgotten it on the dresser where's she's put it last night. She takes it off when she gets home, especially when she starts working on her laptop, mostly because she feels slightly impeded by it, feels constricted by it when she's working. Nevertheless she curses herself for having forgotten it now.

She stops at a red light and impatiently waits for it to turn green, hoping Jesse wouldn't feel so angry at her. She wonders how she can make it up to him and runs through the many things she's done in the past that has helped her get into his good graces.

By the time she gets to the restaurant, it's been a good forty five minutes or so and she already knows, even without asking the waitperson, or looking around, that Jesse has left. She knows Jesse always keeps his appointments, and always comes on time, or at least a few minutes before, and as she stands by the sidewalk, wondering what to do next, she decides to head back. She reaches into her pocket to give Jesse a call but then realizes she's forgotten her mobile phone also. "_Fuck_," she mutters angrily, feeling stupid for having forgotten her mobile phone as well. As she stands there, wondering what to do next, she spies a cab slowing down and stopping just in front of the restaurant, so she hurriedly gets into cab, gives the cab driver instructions on where to go and settles back on the seat as the cab driver guns it down the street to their apartment.

At first, Beca thinks Jesse isn't home.

The apartment looks empty, nothing is out of the ordinary.

When she unlocks the door, she doesn't see anyone at first, but then as she drops her keys on the table by the front door, she hears a barely audible sound coming from the living room and as she walks down the hallway and into the room, she sees Jesse, sprawled on the couch, back towards her, watching what seems to be their wedding video. She stops just by the entrance to the living room, eyes going from the back of Jesse's head, to the video itself, as the shaky camera videos Jesse and the other former members of the Treblemakers duking it out on an old-fashioned riff-off with the former members of the Barden Bellas, Aubrey, Fat Amy, Stacie, Chloe and the others. She sees everyone laughing and toasting and singing, always the singing. And she sees herself in one corner, just watching everyone else, and then cut to the next scene, when she's tossing the bridal bouquet and Jessica, Jessica catches it and the camera zooms in on Jessica grinning triumphantly as she brandishes the bouquet in front of her like a talisman. Beside her, Beca sees Justin, tone deaf a capella fanatic, grinning and giving everyone else a thumb's up sign. Then Beca realizes something. Oh, _shit_. Jessica and Justin's wedding. It's next month. Or is it a few weeks from now? Or maybe a few days? _Fuck_, she thinks to herself. She could swear she has the invite somewhere. She knows she's confirmed herself and her husband, but she isn't entirely sure when the wedding is supposed to be. When did she get so absent-minded and forgetful? She wants to kick herself for this.

As she stands there, lost in her own thoughts, she notices a subtle movement from Jesse, notices Jesse's right hand go up to his face. She wonders if he's tired. She knows he'd just come back from Vancouver, where he'd been shooting a CWB television show, one of those teen shows that's such a hit these days, except this time he's not passing himself off as a teenager anymore, but as one of the teachers. She'd just caught the latest episode on the internet and it had been a good episode, and she finds herself wondering, for the nth time, how the guy who'd dreamed of making movie soundtracks for Hollywood, ended up being an actor instead. A freak accident, she thinks. Once they both graduated, they'd both moved to L.A., Beca to pursue DJing and Jesse his dream of creating soundtracks for movies. But he'd been spotted once during a Trebles performance by an agent, who signed him right then and there, and predictably, his first gig, his debut, is a movie musical, one which becomes a minor hit, and it allows him to get more acting jobs and as he becomes more in-demand - directors like working with him because he has a nice, non-threatening, likeable face and personality that the audience can easily relate to, producers like him because he has an impressive work ethic and an attitude that proclaims to the world that he likes what he is doing, actors like working with him because unlike other actors, he shows up to work on time, knows his lines, is not drug-addled or intoxicated, rarely has to do more than a couple of takes per scene, gets along with everyone, the media like him because he is always polite and generous in his interviews, fans like him because he always tries to accommodate them, shippers like him because he doesn't take ship names so seriously. He has become the go-to guy for any movie exec looking for an earnest boy-next-door type of guy who can easily build chemistry with his co-star and he has built a small, steady career out of playing boy-next-door types with a loyal fanbase and a steady paycheck. The more acting jobs he got, the farther away from his movie-soundtrack-making-dream he was, and although at first he'd bemoaned this fact, and the fact that he never got to see Beca or that he never even got to do stuff like kick back and relax, lately he seems to have accepted this and has even started enjoying his life.

She must have made some kind of movement because Jesse suddenly starts and turns around and sees Beca there, behind him, staring at him, and Beca offers a feeble, apologetic smile as she says, "Hey."

"Hey," he says, smiling automatically at her.

Beca smiles back. There is a silence that punctuates this exchange of greetings and Beca is suddenly aware of how awkward everything seems to be. Jesse is silent, as if debating what to say next. Beca doesn't know what to say, doesn't know what to do, as she stands there, feeling a bit ridiculous and stupid. She doesn't know whether Jesse is upset or not, and doesn't know how to start apologizing to him. She stands there, shifting her weight from one foot to the next, feeling restless as she shoves her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

The silence stretches, interrupted only by the ticking of the clock on the wall, the clock that Jesse also bought her because she just refuses to wear a watch and prefers to use her mobile phone to check the time.

She suddenly can't stand the silence and the awkwardness, so she blurts out, "You weren't at the restaurant."

Jesse is quiet for a little while, before he runs his hand on his dark mop of hair and says, "Yeah. I'd been waiting for a couple of hours. I thought you weren't coming. So I left."

Oh, _shit_, Beca thinks. She'd been off by at least three hours at least, if Jesse had been waiting a couple of hours at the restaurant. He'd been gone an hour when she'd arrived.

Beca doesn't know what to say to her husband. Jesse's face is expressionless, unreadable. There are dark circles under his eyes, his eyes a bit reddish, from lack of sleep she thinks. There is a tiredness around him, a slump to the shoulders, a sense of defeat, that Beca doesn't understand. She ignores it in favor of an apology.

"I'm so sorry," she begins, taking a tentative step towards her husband. "I'd been working all night at the club, and kind of got some ideas for some mixes and kind of stayed up all night trying to do some mixes and I forgot to set the alarm and I overslept and the car wouldn't start and…"

Jesse nods absent-mindedly, indicating that he'd noticed the car outside. He cuts her off before she can continue though, and before she gets to the couch. "Beca, we need to talk."

Beca knits her eyebrows. Jesse's tone is serious, his expression somber. She wonders briefly what he wants to talk about. She knows she's missed a few lunch and dinner dates with him and knows that with the crazy working hours they both keep, plus the places that both their jobs take them (last time, Jesse had been in Prague shooting a movie, and she'd been in New York dj-ing) had turned their life upside down, and they hadn't been spending time together as much as they should, ever since they graduated from college, but that's to be expected with the kind of jobs they'd taken on. She is about to speak again, about to apologize again, when she takes a seat beside him, when Jesse puts up a hand. With the other hand, he pauses the video, takes his time doing so, before he turns to Beca again.

Jesse looks at Beca for a long time, not speaking, only studying her face with his dark eyes that Beca starts to feel uncomfortable and begins to squirm in her seat. But before she could speak, Jesse sighs and says, "Beca…as you know I love you…"

Beca smiles. "I love you, too."

Jesse smiles sadly now. "I know you do, Beca. But…" and here he stops, hesitates, knits his eyebrows, as if he is thinking what to say next, before he says, "Lately, I've been feeling…unhappy…"

This statement, at first, feels lost on Beca, doesn't even sink in as Jesse continues to speak. Jesse, thinking Beca needs more elaboration, hurriedly explains, "Now, don't get me wrong. I've been really happy with you, and we've had some awesome times together…but…I don't know…I've had a lot of time to think about this and I think…I think…we need to spend some time apart…"

It takes seconds for what Jesse has said to sink in before Beca says, in confusion and disbelief, "Spend some time apart? What do you mean? We already spend so much time apart, Jesse…"

Jesse nods. "I know, I know, Beca. But that's the thing, we've never actually _been_ together, like, as a couple, a proper married couple, doing all these things, since we got married, or even _before_."

"Well, that can be easily remedied," Beca says. "We could do all that old married couple stuff if you wanted. But you're always off somewhere shooting a television show or other…"

"And you're off to god knows where dj-ing for some new, hot and happening club or other," Jesse says, with a smile.

Beca nods, understanding. "I know. I'm sorry. I guess we should…figure this out or something, right?"

Jesse smiles again. "Except you love your job and I have all these commitments and…"

Beca shrugs. "I'm sure we can work this out…"

Jesse shakes his head. "You don't understand, Beca," Jesse says, softly now. "I…For the longest time…Beca..I've been feeling like…I don't know…"

Jesse hesitates, and he looks down at his hands, studies his fingers, and Beca follows his gaze, and finds that like her, he isn't wearing their wedding ring either, and in that instant, something dawns on Beca, something that being with someone for ten years, used to their habits and mannerisms and speech patterns and quirks, makes her realize what he is trying to say and she blurts it out before she could stop herself, "Are you breaking up with me?"

And Jesse swallows and somehow manages to look uncomfortable and ashamed and embarrassed and foolish and sheepish and pained all at the same time and he hesitates and in that hesitation, Beca realizes that he is, that he is trying to break up with her and as this becomes clear to Beca, Beca feels something stir within her, anger, disbelief, but mostly anger, as she stares at Jesse and says, "Seriously, Jesse? Seriously?"

"I'm…I'm…not…I just need a break…From this…From us….Maybe we need some time apart…" Jesse starts to stammer then, he starts to ramble, ramble about a lot of things, start to rattle off all the things he thinks are wrong in their relationship, but Beca doesn't hear any of it, in fact, her mind starts to drift off as she just continues to stare at her husband, now soon-to-be ex-husband as he talks about moving out and packing his things, and how he's actually started renting a place in this quiet neighborhood somewhere and in an instant, she can remember thinking that they seemed okay, last time they saw each other. They'd gone out on a date, had caught up with each other's lives, had even made plans on what they were going to do on their tenth anniversary…

Oh, _fuck_, Beca realizes. She's forgotten their anniversary. She had fucking forgotten their anniversary. She wants to kick herself now. Maybe she can still do some damage control before it's too late.

So as Jesse rambles on and on and on, she comes back into the conversation and says, "It's the date, isn't it? You're pissed off I'd forgotten today was our anniversary. Jesse…I'm sorry. I hadn't meant to…seriously. It kind of slipped my mind…"

Jesse gives her a glare. "How could our anniversary just slip your mind?" he asks now.

His reaction to that confirms, in Beca's mind, why he's suddenly on this break-up tangent and she hurriedly tries to repair whatever damage she's done, going through possible apologies she could say, but Jesse doesn't let her, in fact, he looks at Beca now with much sadness and he says, "This is like the hundredth time you've forgotten our anniversary."

"That is _so_ not true and you know it," Beca says.

"Yes it is," Jesse says now, his voice suddenly louder. "Yes, it is," he says, softly now. He stops now, thinking of his next words, before he looks up and says, "Beca…I…We…"

Beca cuts him off. "There's someone else isn't it?"

When Jesse hesitates, looks at Beca, puzzled, Beca knows this is all the confirmation she'll ever need as she says, "Oh, my god, there is. There so is."

As she stands up and goes to the window, heart suddenly beating wildly away in her chest, Jesse stands up and goes to her, and says, "Beca…I…"

"Look me in the eye and tell me there isn't someone else," Beca demands now, looking at him directly.

For a moment, Jesse recoils from the anger he can see in Beca's eyes. He begins to deny it, before looking up and sighing and decides against it when he sees Beca's glare directed at him. Then, with a slump of defeat, he says, "Yeah. There's someone else, Beca. There's someone else."

Beca doesn't know what possesses her to do what she does next.

But as she looks at Jesse with his boy band looks and his boy band niceness and his boy band voice, she kind of starts thinking about other things, wonders if this is really happening, wonders if the guy she's been with since college has just decided to break up with her and she finds her anger that has been slowly building up inside her, a cold, cold, coil of anger spring up and as Jesse leans over Beca finds her left hand curling into a fist and in a split second her left fist springs up and connects with Jesse's face and she hears the crack of bone as she hits Jesse's nose and it all seems to happen in slow motion as she sees his face crumple up with pain, sees his head snap back, hears him yelp with pain, sees him land on the floor on his knees with a thud.

Then as she stands there staring at him moaning about his nose, sees a bit of the blood coming down from his nose, she finds herself kicking him hard with a powerful kick to the groin and she hears his sharp intake of breath as the pain hits him full force and he falls down on the floor, writhing in pain as she feels the anger recoil, feels herself calm down.

And she steps over him, stops, says, "I'll be gone in a few hours. You'd better be gone when I'm back", before she marches towards the front door, grabs her keys, and slams the door behind her with a painful finality that seems to send a jolt of pain through her.

She pauses by the doorstep, briefly not knowing what to do, before she takes a deep breath, and walks off down the street.

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**_A/N: Dear readers - thanks for reading. Kind reviews are welcome and will be much appreciated. This story is already finished in my head, and will take only a few chapters whilst I take a break from writing Glee (LSLO verse), but would love to know what you think about this story._**

**_Also, for those already familiar with my work for the Glee Pezberry LSLO verse, you already know I'm big on exposition, story, themes and character development, so you read at your own risk. _:)_ For those who are reading my work for the first time, you've been warned. I hope you enjoyed this._ ;) **

**_Many thanks to DragonsWillFly for the beta._**


	2. Dazed and Confused

Beca wakes up with a jolt when the alarm on her bedside rings very harshly and loudly. She'd only recently fallen asleep, having stayed up all night, unable to sleep, lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, curtains drawn, bedroom dark, listening to hers and Jesse's song, Simple Mind's "Don't You Forget About Me" over and over and over again. Before that, she'd spent the better part of the day just hunched in front of her laptop, on her bed, covered by a blanket, wads of tissues surrounding her, as she watched "Jaws", the "Indiana Jones" movies and the "Star Wars" series. She had debated watching all six of the Star Wars movies, but had found herself enjoying them, particularly "Empire Strikes Back" and "Revenge of the Sith" - both movies' darkness and bleakness perfectly mirroring what she is feeling now. It takes her awhile before she gets to "The Breakfast Club", but when she does, she stays glued to her laptop screen, finding herself smiling when Ally Sheedy makes snow with her dandruff, when Molly Ringwald puts lipstick on her lips from her boobs, finds herself laughing softly at the characters' general antics, but then as the first strains of "Don't You Forget About Me" start to play as Judd Nelson's character accepts the earring from Molly Ringwald's character, and raises his arm in the air, Beca finds herself crying, again, and she finds herself asking herself, "What the fuck is wrong with me? It's a fucking movie, for fuck's sake!" But she already knows this is the closest she can get to actually feeling Jesse near her and she has realized that she misses him.

A few weeks ago, when Jesse had told her he had wanted some time apart, which is almost always a prelude to a separation, and eventually divorce (she should know, her own mother and father had one of those conversations that had ended up in a very messy, very bitter divorce, angry alimony arguments and a bitter custody battle over her that left her seething with rage most of junior high and high school), she had thought he was kidding, she had thought it was all a joke, and when she'd come back to the apartment, he'd still be there, smiling his boyish grin and telling her it was all a funny April Fool's joke, even though it wasn't April at all. By the time she found herself in front of her apartment again, it was nearly dark, the L.A. sun had nearly set and she'd staunchly convinced herself that Jesse hadn't wanted a separation from her. No, maybe she'd misunderstood. Maybe what he wanted was just some time to himself and after he's had some time alone, he'll realize how ridiculous he's being and he's going to come back and everything will be normal again because _fuck_, this was exactly the reason why she didn't do relationships or marriage or the whole family with two point five kids and the white picket fence thing - because people _leave_, in the end they _leave_, and if Jesse really wants out of their marriage, then he has just proven her theory right.

So, yeah, Jesse couldn't have wanted a separation right? Or worse, a divorce, right? This is Jesse Swanson, for fuck's sake. Good ol' reliable Jesse, who's always been there even when the worst of Beca's neurotic, damaged bullshit, who'd been there through everything, from the trouble with the Bellas, to the trouble with the family and the stepmonster, to her struggles with work, to everything else. Jesse's always been there. Like furniture. Like the sky. Like the sun. She hadn't actually imagined that one day he'd want to _not_ be there for her any longer. By then she has convinced herself so fiercely that Jesse is still inside the apartment she actually starts to believe her own lie, until her key turns in the lock, she opens the door to the apartment, and finds that it is empty, as empty as it has always been whenever Jesse is away, and as she takes a few steps into the apartment, she realizes that the apartment is different somehow, that something is wrong. Upon closer scrutiny she realizes what's different. The apartment seems a bit less complete somehow, feels a bit hollow. When she glances at the shelves, at the walls, at the tops of cabinets and dressers and tables, she realizes why: there are spaces now, where the dust has never formed, where framed photographs used to be and have been hastily removed, there are spaces on shelves where LPs and EPs and CDs and DVDs and VHS tapes where, hastily pulled out and probably put in boxes, for fear that they be thrown out of the apartment with all the rest of the stuff that Beca had made it known she had a dislike before. She realizes that Jesse's atrocious, framed collection of original Star Wars posters have been taken down, a graduation gift from Benji, Jesse's roommate and best friend. When Beca goes to their room, she finds all his stuff is gone, too, his clothes from their closet, jeans, shirts, jackets, sneakers, leather shoes, underwear, socks, watches, books, other assorted things. There are other things Jesse has left, which Beca doesn't have the energy to discard.

She doesn't know, but her breath hitches, she feels like she's been punched in the gut, there's a sense of finality here, a sense of emptiness, a sense of something ending, and she finds herself sinking at the edge of the bed, the bed that she'd once shared with Jesse and for a few moments she is unable to feel anything. There is silence, so much silence in her room, in the apartment. And suddenly she feels it: a rush of something indescribable, pain, sadness, a yawning, gaping hole, a deep, unfathomable emptiness, despair, desolation, depression, a sense of deep and profound failure, a sense that she's disappointed not only herself, but everyone else, especially Jesse.

And she cries.

And cries.

And cries.

And cries until there are no more tears left.

Until all that is left are puffy, swollen, red eyes, dark circles and a hollowness at the pit of her stomach that she can never get rid of, and a hole in her soul. And a deep regret and sadness for what has happened to her.

* * *

She glances at the clock beside the bed and realizes that it's a little before ten. She'd slept in again. She turns, lies flat on her back, stares up at the ceiling, blinks once, twice, before she stretches and yawns and throws the bedcovers off of her body. With growing irritation, she reaches for her iPod and changes the song. Simple Mind's "Don't You Forget About Me" has been playing over and over and over, and if it is possible, she is actually probably literally physically sick and tired of the song. She goes through her iPod songs and one song stands out and she stops, stares at the title, and realizes she hasn't heard this in a while. She puts it on loop and starts to play it.

As the song starts to play, fills her room with sound and voice and rhythm and melody, she turns the volume up when the chorus comes up, humming along with the song.

"_I'm bullet proof_

_Nothing to lose_

_Fire away, fire away…_

She goes to the bathroom to take a shower and as the hot water hits her skin, the room fills with steam, she starts to sing with the song, screaming the chorus in wild abandon, voice cracking as she does so, and she ends up crying in the shower, like she's done many times these past few days, and she sighs, tries to tell herself to get a grip, but she finds herself sobbing, feels stupid, because it's been weeks, but it still feels like yesterday.

"_Ricochet, you take your aim_

_Fire away, fire away…"_

She feels so alone, so isolated, so lonely.

She is a mixture of emotions. She is still depressed. Angry. But mostly depressed. Her left hand is still throbbing and aching and painful where she had punched Jesse. She feels sorry now that she has punched Jesse. Jesse hasn't called or emailed or indicated that he might have changed his mind or had just been kidding about the whole sordid affair. There were times when she'd found herself on the verge of calling her now ex-husband, but when she starts hearing the phone on the other end ring, she ends the call, completely losing courage. She tells herself she should at least have a bit of pride, and not beg Jesse to give her another chance because how pathetic would that be? To beg your husband to take you back? To grovel? To cry? To admit you are lonely and lost and alone? Very pathetic.

"_Shoot me down, but I won't fall…_

_I am titanium…_

_Shoot me down, but I won't fall…_

_I am titanium…"_

Once she finishes showering, she turns the stereo off and eats breakfast of cereals and black coffee as she sits on her couch, turning on the television to the morning show, while working on her laptop, putting her overly large headphones and listening to "Titanium" on her laptop over and over again, writing down random notes and words on sheet music and a notebook. As she listens to the song, she gets an idea in her head and she grabs her laptop and starts working on it.

She checks her mobile phone and finds that her phone is blinking with unanswered calls. She checks to see who it is, hoping it is Jesse, but it is, instead, aforementioned Fat Amy, and Stacie and Cynthia Rose, and even Benji, Jesse's best friend, just asking her how she is. She ignores all of it.

Already her father keeps calling her, wanting to talk to her, wanting to meet up with her the next time he is in L.A. but she never answers his calls, always waits for his calls to go to voicemail. She refuses to reply to his emails or his instant messages.

The entertainment segment of the morning show appears, and the host trades barbs and gossip with his co-host, before they start talking about the summer movies everyone should watch out for, and at first she just lets the show play, in the background, like white noise. But then she doesn't know why, but she catches the name Jesse Swanson. She takes her headphones off, as she watches Jesse and turns and watches and there he is, her ex-husband, smiling for the camera as he talks about the college road trip sex comedy that he shot over in Vancouver last year while on hiatus from his television show and is now promoting. Jesse had given her an idea about what the movie was and already Beca knows it's the kind of movie that she will not enjoy and she silently is relieved she doesn't have to sit through during the inevitable premier in Los Angeles.

She feels guilty at this thought and she sighs and tries to push down the sadness she feels again.

As she puts her laptop down, and stares at the screen, stares at Jesse grinning and politely answering questions, practiced polite answers coming out of his mouth so easily, Beca's heart seizes. He looks handsome. He looks young and boyish, in his jeans and shirt and jacket as he jokes and possibly even flirts with the very beautiful and obviously very flirty female host.

Beca wants to grab the remote control, but she is afraid that instead of turning off the television with it, she will end up hurling the remote at the screen, so she sits there, glued to the spot, watching, mesmerized, as her ex-husband charms the very flattered, and now very flustered female host.

As she watches Jesse on the screen, she wonders to herself, at what precise point could she have changed the course of her marriage with Jesse? At what point in every part of their journey together as a couple could she have chosen one path, instead of the other, so as to have saved their relationship and so avoid the inevitable divorce this failed marriage is headed to? Should she have not followed her dreams? Should she have compromised with Jesse when he'd brought up the prospect of settling down? Should she have agreed to have children? Should she have chosen that job offered to her in San Francisco? Or New York? Jobs that offered stability and security, but also unbelievable boredom and tedium and routine?

Or maybe she should have gone back earlier. Maybe she shouldn't have said yes whenever he asked something. Because Jesse always had a way of making her say yes, even when she wasn't sure, or wasn't too confident, or wasn't ready. It wasn't that she minded, but each time she said yes, it also meant she was closer to being even more vulnerable, even though Jesse was the picture perfect ideal guy any girl would kill to spend forever with. So, maybe she should have thought twice before saying yes to Jesse when he'd proposed. Maybe she shouldn't have agreed to move in with him so soon after graduation. Maybe she shouldn't have decided so soon freshmen year in college that he was the one for her.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Too many maybes.

She catches sight of the thick white business envelope addressed to her that sits on the living room table. The white envelope has been there for days now. She has opened it, took out the contents, folded and unfolded the pieces of paper, but still cannot accept its contents. There's a line at the bottom of the last page where she's supposed to sign and she feels a pain in her gut, feels her heart seize, because up until now, she had thought this was all just a bad dream, that she hadn't been reliving the nightmare of her parents' divorce, but there it was, on her table, the documents that will end her marriage with Jesse. The irony of it was that it was a marriage she hadn't been sure, at first, anyway, if she wanted to go through with it. Her lawyer, who is the one talking to Jesse, as she cannot really talk to him herself, tells her, at least there are no children to scar or traumatize for life, and so there wouldn't be any messy custody battles, and since neither could be bothered with the financial aspects involved in a divorce, the settlement of their conjugal properties, which wasn't much to begin with, had been pretty much settled amicably.

Her lawyer has been asking her about the documents. But she hasn't signed it. She doesn't know why, but she feels like if she does, then this is really it. It's over. It's final. It's permanent. Funny how a piece of paper could decide with such finality that a marriage no longer exists. It would be so easy, she thinks, if she could just sign those papers. But then it wouldn't really ease the pain.

It's been weeks, but the pain is still palpable, profound, fresh, like it just happened yesterday.

She feels it again, the loneliness. Aloneness. Feels it like a raw wound on her body, festering and painful. And she feels the depression again, washing over her.

* * *

At first she thinks she's dreaming when she hears a knock.

She's put the television on mute, has resumed playing "Titanium" on her laptop and hears the insistent knock on the door, followed by someone calling her name out loud, beneath the rhythm of the song.

She doesn't want to get up.

She just wants to just stay here, on the couch, in her sweat suit and oversized Barden Bellas shirt and her Cheetos and Lay's and Pringles and steady supply of chocolates.

But the knocking doesn't stop and at the risk of having the neighbors calling the police, she grudgingly gets up off the couch, peers at the window, then at the peephole of her door, sees who is on the other side, sighs, grabs the doorknob and turns it, pulls it back and there, standing on her front door, in her large sun glasses, and boots and large, overnight bag, is Fat Amy, on her mobile phone, giving Beca a wide, toothy grin as she says, "Hey, stranger."

* * *

_**A/N: That's it for this chapter! Thanks for reading and reviewing the first chapter and thanks for reading and reviewing this chapter as well. Your kind reviews are much appreciated.**_

_**Ramble alert:**_

_**As for the pairing - as I have already indicated in the summary, this is not just pairing-centric. Beca has just recently experienced a break-up of a ten-year relationship with Jesse, and thus, as anyone who's experienced the break-up of their serious, committed long-term relationships knows, there is a grieving/depression stage that follows. Beca will have to go through that as well. I wanted to explore that. As those familiar with my Glee verse already know, I develop stories with character development, themes and pairings in the most organic way possible. To borrow from my beta's wise words, there has to be a build-up before the couple comes to be, it cannot just appear out of thin air. And also, because you just don't pop an '82 Bordeaux because it's on your shelf. Great things take time. :-) But this story is already done in my head, and there will be eventual romance, it will just unfold in a less fan fic-y, and a more organic, realistic way. Because I wanted to explore that as well. Also, there won't be Rated M stuff here, so apologies for that. I do know there are a lot of awesome Rated M stuff out there, so you can check those out instead.**_

_** Anyway, I hope you trust me enough with this story and this journey to keep reading. Apologies for the rambling.**_

_**Also I blame the angst of these two chapters on Anita Shreve and J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows", so apologies for that. :)**_

_**Again, many thanks to the beta, DragonsWillFly, for the beta-ing. :)**_


	3. With a Little Help From Friends

**_This chapter rated M - for abuse of substances that I neither condone nor condemn. _;) **

* * *

Fat Amy's grin is infectious and Beca can't help but smile back, but the smile doesn't quite reach her ears, or her eyes, and her smile turns upside down again, because looking at Fat Amy now just reminds her of Barden, and Barden reminds her of the Bellas, and the Bellas remind her of the Trebles, and the Trebles just reminds her of Jesse and Jesse just reminds her that her life is falling apart and she has a life that is suddenly on hold, a life that she suddenly doesn't want.

"Hey yourself," Beca says, as she steps to one side to let Fat Amy pass.

Fat Amy, who is, as the name suggests, gloriously and defiantly plus size, to the eternal headache of her agent who can never make her diet if her life depended on it, is very big with the keeping-in-touch-with-college-friends thing, going out of her way to visit Beca whenever she's in L.A. with her band, "Fat Amy and The Dingoes", which is currently busy playing gigs all over the country. Fat Amy wanted them called "The Mermaids", but the guy members of the band, which was pretty much everyone else, had adamantly refused to be named "Mermaids". They'd settled for "Fat Amy and The Dingoes", because nobody wanted "Diddler on the Roof", "Wrestling with Crocodiles", "The Dundees" or "Fat Patricia and the Boys" because they all seemed dumb. She'd wanted the band to be called "Dingoes Ate My Baby" - but that just seemed weird, and so the band nixed that idea as well. However, weird names notwithstanding, the band was making a name for itself in the underground scene, as a sort of indie alternative rock band that fused an eclectic mix of sounds, an influence that Fat Amy almost always credits to four years of working with Beca and her penchant for mixes.

Fat Amy, who is now wearing her blonde hair in her trademark Orthodox Jew hairstyle, continues to nod and grin and she looks around Beca's apartment, as if inspecting it, and she turns to her phone and says, in her slight Australian accent, "It's worse than we thought, Stacie. Empty pizza boxes, empty bags of crisps, empty bottles of fizzy drinks, used wads of tissue, empty cartons of Chinese takeaway, banana peels, orange rinds and eeww, cockroaches. And flies. The little sheila's been nesting. Sheila so needs an intervention, I'm thinking…"

Fat Amy stands in the middle of Beca's living room, as Beca stares at her, incredulous, confused, staring at Fat Amy's overnight bag on the floor, and at Fat Amy, who has lifted a hand as if to let Beca wait, before she grabs the remote and shuts the TV off. Fat Amy now makes a face on the phone and says, "I _am_ speaking English, mate. What are you talking about? Yeah, you've got to get here. This looks _really_ serious. It's much worse than that time we found out Chloe had nodes and we lost Regionals and Beca got arrested and Chloe attacked Aubrey and there was that free-for-all in our practice room and…" Fat Amy pauses, listens, before she says, "Well, hurry up, then! I can't do this on my own! You know I look out for my mates! And you know I'd do anything for you guys. Except cardio and run up and down the stairs and stuff…" She then pauses again, rubs her belly absently with her other hand and says, "Stacie, I don't care how you get here, just get here as soon as you can. Oi! Don't forget the pizza, yeah?"

Beca now realizes that the Stacie that Fat Amy is talking about is another former Barden Bella, Stacie Conrad, who has, strangely enough, made a name for herself as a sex and marriage counselor, of all things. She has a regular sex and relationships advice show on the radio, a syndicated column, a blog and a book deal, although Beca and the others can't say that they were surprised that Stacie has turned a love for sex into something constructive, productive and money-making. This kind of feels a bit strange though, knowing as Beca did, that everyone thought Stacie was the least likely to actually succeed, since Stacie was the one person in the Bellas and in Barden in general, who barely passed her classes and constantly needed someone's help to pass any of her classes because she was just too busy with E-Network, cuticle care and hooking up with guys (and girls, actually, Beca remembers now, because Stacie had once told them, "Why would I limit my options? A kiss is still a kiss, an orgasm is still an orgasm," a comment that made everyone, save for Cynthia Rose and Chloe, roll her eyes) to actually have decent grades.

When Fat Amy finishes talking on her phone, she turns off her phone, tosses it on the couch, then looks at Beca, grins and says, "Right. We're doing an intervention, Beca. And I'm crashing here tonight for the wedding. Got no place to crash. And sick and tired of hotels. And the boys. And boys in general, really."

Beca knits her eyebrow. "Intervention? What intervention? And what wedding?"

Fat Amy rolls her eyes. "Justin and Jessica's wedding. Intervention for you. So, yeah."

* * *

Less than an hour, later, in which Fat Amy has given Beca an update on her life (a record deal, an EP, a possible world tour, lots of guys for the having and taking), Stacie Conrad appears on Beca's apartment doorstep, her long, dark hair in a severe tight bun, sporting a business suit and glasses and light make-up, overnight bag in one hand, mobile phone and laptop bag on the other, and a pizza box and the most mock serious expression on her face as Fat Amy grabs her bag and Stacie announces, "Right, let's get this party started."

* * *

Later, much later, a grinning Cynthia Rose appears on their doorstep, olive-skinned arms clutching a bag of a six pack of wine coolers and bottles of vodka and whiskey and Fat Amy smiles and waves her in.

As Cynthia Rose puts the bag of booze on the table in the living room, Stacie looks at her and says, "You're not going to cop a feel again are you? I'm pretty sure Denise would have your head on a stick for that."

Cynthia Rose, who is making a comfortable, modest living as a songwriter, has an off-again, on-again relationship with college girlfriend Denise, another former Barden Bella, and their drama as a couple has always been a source of entertainment for the rest of the Barden Bellas, past and present, especially when Cynthia Rose had that phase of showing an active interest in Stacie via means of copping a feel any chance she got.

Cynthia Rose only rolls her eyes, flicks her curly bangs away from her forehead with a flick of her head and says, "That depends. Are you going to touch yourself anytime soon?"

"Are you going to keep your hands off the goodies?"

"Are you going to start using your rape whistle anytime soon?"

Fat Amy now comes between the two as she says, "Whoa, everyone. Let's take all this estrogen down a notch." She then looks at Cynthia Rose and says, "Cynthia Rose, no, Stacie will not be touching herself anytime soon. Stacie, no, Cynthia Rose will not be copping a feel anytime soon. Guys, we all agreed this will be all about Beca, so let's just let this be about that."

Both Cynthia Rose and Stacie nod as they listen to Fat Amy and they both mutter apologies before Cynthia Rose takes in Beca's apartment and she whistles and says, "Okay, better get started."

* * *

The last to arrive is Lilly, who is still as soft-spoken and as quiet as she stands there, on Beca's doorstep, smiling so innocuously and mouthing words that Fat Amy cannot understand, Fat Amy shakes her head and says, "Lilly, darling, it's nice to see you, too. I'm just going to assume that's what you said. I mean, I love you mate, but half of the time when your mouth is moving, I don't understand the words that are coming out of your mouth."

Stacie pushes Fat Amy aside and says, "Hey, Lilly. Whaddya bring?"

Lilly grins, dark, almond-shaped eyes wide with mischief as she runs a hand on her long, dark hair, before she lifts one hand to reveal a six-pack of green bottles with Asian characters on them, and with the other hand, she digs into her bag and pulls something out and reveals a ziploc bag full of what appears to be weed.

Stacie and Fat Amy grin as they step aside to let Lilly pass. Lilly gives the bottles and the bag of weed to Fat Amy. Beca stares at them all as the living room starts filling up with college friends.

"What is this?" Fat Amy asks, raising the bottles in her hand.

Lilly grins enigmatically at her and murmurs, "Soju."

"What in bloody hell is that?" Fat Amy asks, making a face. "That sounds like a made-up word."

Lilly only grins some more and says, in a soft voice, "Korean booze. It's hard to explain. But you'll find out soon enough." She digs into her bag again and takes out a red pack of what appears to be noodles. "I got some _ramyeon_ too."

Fat Amy stares at her. "Now I'm pretty sure you're just messing with me."

Lilly grins and says, "It's Korean noodles. It's really good."

Fat Amy rolls her eyes. "You're Korean, we know, we get it."

"My grandmother on my mother side _is_," Lilly says. "I just got back from visiting her in Korea. She lives in Jindo. Awesome place. It's in Namdo. It's in the southeast part of Korea."

"You lost me somewhere there when you stopped speaking English," Fat Amy jokes.

Lilly only grins at her and gives her and Stacie a hug and waves a hand Cynthia Rose's way. Cynthia nods her head in greeting. Then, Lilly sees Beca, grins at her, goes to Beca and hugs her.

"Lilly, what are you doing?" Beca asks incredulously, as she stands awkwardly in front of Lilly, as Lilly hugs her.

"It's a hug, Beca, I'm hugging you," Lilly whispers, like she always does, as Beca tries to desperately extricate herself from her.

But before Beca could do so, Fat Amy shouts, "Group hug!" before she goes to Beca and Lilly and engulfs both of them in a hug. Stacie grins and comes up to hug them, putting her long arms around a couple of them.

When Cynthia Rose tries to hug them as well, Stacie says, "Except you", and Fat Amy agrees and says, "Yep, there's no need for that", before everyone breaks from the group hug. Beca sighs and steps away from everyone and smiles awkwardly.

"You guys are evil," Cynthia Rose says now. "Wish some of the guys were here, they'd totally understand what I'm going through."

Stacie and Fat Amy grin, and Stacie gives Cynthia Rose a peace sign and playfully hits her on the shoulder.

And as Beca stands there, she folds her arms in front of her and sarcastically asks, "I…is that…_weed_?"

"Yep," Fat Amy answers for Lilly and she says, "Ehm, we were supposed to buy a handful of Xanax, Mandrax, Prozac and a big fat sack of meth, 'cause I heard that could help with a broken heart, or you'll be too effed up to notice, or something, either way it should help, but Stacie wouldn't help even though she can totally give us prescription drugs and anyway, I still don't think I can do crystal meth, so I thought…eh…better not."

Beca rolls her eyes as Fat Amy says, "Anyway, since we couldn't do that, we thought weed is the next best thing, and maybe some whiskey."

"I can't decide whether I should have mixed feelings about this or not," Beca says now. "I mean, wow, come in, invade my personal space, it's not like I actually have a life or something…"

Fat Amy grins sheepishly. "Ehm…we were actually too cheap to book a proper hotel for the night for Jessica and Justin's wedding."

"Except me," Stacie says, "I can actually afford to book a hotel. But I haven't seen you guys in ages, so."

"Except Stacie," Fat Amy says, nodding.

Beca looks at them. "And what, you couldn't get Denise, Jessica and Ashley to come? Couldn't get Kimmy Jin? Aubrey and Chloe too busy?"

"Jessica is busy with her wedding and you know how she's best friends with Denise and Ashley so they're helping her out….and we couldn't get hold of either Aubrey or Chloe so…" Fat Amy explains.

"I was just…kidding…" Beca says now, before she rolls her eyes.

Fat Amy continues though, twirling a loose strand of her blonde hair on one finger thoughtfully, as she says, "Although do we really want Aubrey here right now? She'd probably be like, 'Beca, I'd like you to take the time to reflect about and make a list of what you did wrong that would make Jesse want to leave you.' I bet she'd be like, 'I bet it was those ear monstrosities. They're still hideous, Beca.'"

Stacie glares at Fat Amy and nudges her whilst Cynthia Rose shakes her head and Lilly looks at all of them with a smile.

Beca sighs.

"Amy…!" Stacie chides her now.

"Sorry," Fat Amy says now. "Also, I think if we got Kimmy Jin to come, she'd be all like, glaring at us from one corner, _sulking_, and saying stuff like, how it's a real inconvenience or something," Amy continues. "I mean, I prefer quirky Asian to angry Asian, you know?"

"Hey!" Lilly speaks softly. "I'm right here."

"Sorry, you all look alike to me," Amy says.

Beca says, "Not enough Asians where you're from, Amy?"

Amy grins. "Well, we did a 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert' musical once with a group of Asian immigrants for our community theater when I was in Tasmania. It was _very_ Asian."

Lilly stares at her and whispers sarcastically, "What, couldn't get the rights to 'Miss Saigon'?"

"Yeah…but we didn't have enough money to get like a life-sized helicopter for the opening number…And isn't that like…weird and stuff, with the stereotypes about Asian flowers and virgins and stuff? And all that stuff like, 'Me love you long time, five dollah'?" Amy asks.

"What, and you thinking we all look alike is not a stereotype at all?" Lilly murmurs.

Fat Amy grins. "Sorry. Just kidding."

Lilly smiles. "I was just kidding, too."

Beca looks at all of them, not believing that they are all acting like crashing at her house is a normal thing. "What are you guys even _doing_ here?"

"You'll know soon enough," Fat Amy says.

"Fat Amy dishing some tough love," Cynthia Rose says, nodding with approval Fat Amy's way.

* * *

The first to go is all the trash she's accumulated over the past few weeks, accompanied by a "tsk, tsk" and a shake of the head.

The second to go are all the stuff that would remind Beca of everything about Jesse, including photos, along with some bric-a-brac he's forgotten to pack (tees, jeans, a pair of sneakers, baseball cards, a comic book collector's item in mint condition), thrown haphazardly and careless in boxes to Beca's protest as she tells them Jesse bought her that extra lengthy loofah, or that cereal container to keep her cereal extra fresh, or that pillow for her back for when she has an all-nighter doing mixes, which makes her go off on soliloquys where she explains why Jesse bought so and so and her three friends just look at her incredulously and say, "Really, Beca, really?"

The third to go are the files in Beca's laptop, at which point, Beca says, "Hey, hey, hands off on the laptop!"

But her friends are ruthless and relentless as Fat Amy grabs Beca with her large arms, rendering her incapacitated as Cynthia Rose stands in front of Beca, making sure she doesn't get past her in case she breaks free of Fat Amy, while Stacie starts to go through Beca's laptop. Stacie hits play and Beca's new mixes start playing: Simple Minds' "Don't You Forget About Me" with David Guetta's "Titanium", "Titanium" mixed with Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares to You", "Titanium" with "Boys Don't Cry", "Titanium" and Erasure's "A Little Respect" and "Titanium" and "(I'm Gonna Be) Five Hundred Miles". Fat Amy, Cynthia Rose and Stacie all make faces at the mixes.

"This is bad," Stacie says seriously, as she scrolls down the playlist, glasses hanging down her nose, which would be so comical if Stacie hadn't looked so serious then. She now turns to Beca, concern etched on her face, as she tells Beca, in all seriousness, "I mean, _super_ bad. Normally I like your mixes Beca, but these have got to go."

"What? Dude, no!" Beca says now, trying to break free of Fat Amy's grip as Stacie fiddles with the keyboard of Beca's laptop and she starts to delete files on Beca's laptop. Fat Amy holds her tight though as she struggles to be free of her. But Beca succeeds in freeing herself, and she gets to Stacie in time before the woman could do anymore damage to her laptop. "Dude! Don't ever touch a DJ's laptop ever again!"

"Whatever, _dude_," Stacie says now, rolling her eyes. "You'll thank me later." When Beca goes through her laptop, Stacie spots a folder labeled "Jesse and Beca" and Stacie peers over her shoulder and says, "What the hell is that?" before she reaches for the delete button.

Beca stops her just in time, and swats her hand away, as she says, "Alright, alright, I'm going to delete them."

"Delete them from your recycle bin, too, it's saved there as well for in case you want to retrieve them or restore them or something," Fat Amy says.

Beca nods and says, "Alright, alright."

Fat Amy and Stacie lean over and look at what Beca is doing.

"What are you doing?" Stacie demands. "You're not even doing a proper delete. You're just selecting stuff to delete."

Beca is defensive. "I'm just saving stuff for in case we get back together or something."

Fat Amy pushes Beca aside and says, "Whatever, mate", before she deletes the whole folder and Beca shouts, "No, dude, noooo!"

"Better do a cache cleaning, too," Cynthia Rose adds now. "She might restore them files after."

"Acceptance is the key to recovery," Stacie says solemnly now as Fat Amy grabs Beca's laptop and tries to keep it away from Beca, pushing Beca away even as Beca tries to reach for her laptop.

"Give me back my laptop, Fat Amy!" Beca cries now as she desperately tries to grab her laptop from Fat Amy. But Fat Amy proves to be too strong for her, as Fat Amy shakes her head.

"No!" Fat Amy says.

As the two bicker and argue about the Jesse-related files on Beca's laptop, Stacie shakes her head and says, "Ah, just like old times. Good to know nothing's changed."

But then Fat Amy hits delete on Beca's laptop and Beca stops, seeing the folders disappear one by one, and she stops, sits down on her couch and cries.

* * *

"This is all your fault," Cynthia Rose says to Fat Amy now, as she takes a swig from the bottle of whiskey and passes it to Fat Amy.

"My fault?" Fat Amy says, rubbing her aching jaw, where Beca has punched her, as she takes the bottle of whiskey and guzzles down the whiskey. She makes a face and says, "God, I have no idea why rock stars like this shit. It's crap. Anyway, it's Stacie's fault. She was the one who said we should totally do an intervention."

Stacie rolls her eyes as she grabs the bottle of whiskey from Amy. "Bite me, Fat Amy. Anyway, Benji called me and he told me the news and you know how Beca isn't really good with all of this…" Stacie says now, gesturing vaguely to the apartment, which now seems a bit cleaner and less cluttered without all of Beca's accumulated mess from the past few weeks. "Plus, we're her friends, and…"

A hand reaches out to grab the bottle of whiskey from her and the voice attached to the hand says, "Can you guys _not_ talk about me like I'm not in the room?"

Stacie, Fat Amy, Cynthia Rose and Lilly all look at Beca, who is slumped on the floor, leaning on the couch, legs stretched out, and crossed at the ankles, as she takes the bottle of whiskey that Stacie hands her.

"Sorry, Beca," Cynthia Rose says.

Beca takes the bottle and drinks from it. She makes the same face as Fat Amy. "God, this is awful. Is there anything else?"

Fat Amy looks at her. "Taste the happy, Beca. Taste it."

Beca makes a face.

Lilly hands her a bottle of soju with what can only be described as an evil glint in her eye and a mischievous grin on her lips and Beca mumbles a "thank you" as she pops it open and puts it to her lips. Once she's done she says, "Ugh. This is also freaking awful, what is this shit?"

"Soju," Lilly says with an evil grin.

"Ugh. It's like, industrial strength alcohol or something. I've just remembered why I don't drink," Beca mumbles as she downs the soju and grimaces as she feels the bitter liquid flow down her throat.

"This might help," Lilly says, as she hands Beca rolled up joint which she has lit and had been smoking. Beca hands her the bottle of whiskey, considers whether she should take the joint or not, before she makes a decision, nods and says, "Eh, what the hell."

"Whatever happened to making good choices?" Stacie asks now.

Beca snorts in answer.

"Cynthia Rose, you're in charge of making sure we don't get too drunk and oversleep for the wedding," Fat Amy declares now as she accepts the joint that Beca hands to her and takes a swig at the bottle of whiskey that is returned to her.

"This is not going to end well," Beca announces now as she leans back on her couch and accepts the joint passed to her.

* * *

Hours later, in which the house is filled with the pungent aroma of marijuana smoke and everyone is high and drunk, the women are sitting in front of the television, watching old MTV music videos.

They are now watching an old Metallica music video, and Cynthia Rose says, "Wow, James Hetfield looks like the Cowardly Lion."

Fat Amy looks at her and says, "Shut your mouth. Metallica is the greatest!"

Then Fat Amy and Cynthia Rose look at each other and erupt into giggles.

Beca groans, grabs the remote control and flips channels. She finds a Discovery Channel reality show where groups of mechanical engineering students from different prestigious American universities are tasked to create robot legs the length of giraffes and as Beca watches the show, fascinated, she starts to speak very, very loudly, "Science! Industry!"

Then Beca stops, watches the show for a few minutes again, before she yells, "Big men putting screwdrivers into things! Turning them! And ad-_justing _them!" Her friends look at each other, then at Beca, as Beca throws her hands in the air and shouts, "Increase the Flash Gordon noise and put more science stuff around!" When the students finally succeed in making the appropriate mechanical robot legs and wear them successfully, Beca says, "Eat my photons, small heads!"

Everyone looks at Beca, then Fat Amy grins and says, "There are just so many poorly chosen words in those sentences."

"Whatever, dude, I'm having a deep, meaningful relationship with _weed_," Beca says now. "Oooh, swag me that joint, Lilly, will you?"

"Swag?" Fat Amy asks, knitting her eyebrows. "What the bloody hell does that mean?"

As Beca smokes the joint that Lilly passes to her, she shrugs and says, "It can mean…whatever you want it to mean. Like, this joint is swag, yo!"

Cynthia Rose nods and tells Beca, "Man, you are so high."

Beca sighs, puts a hand on her face and says, "Man, I am so fucking high."

Amy throws up her arms and says, "The negative effects of marijuana folks!"

Then Beca looks at them and she and the others start to laugh.

"You know what's a funny made-up word?" Fat Amy asks now, as she smokes the joint. As everyone waits for her to say it, she slowly exhales and says, "_Anyong_."

Lilly looks at her, slightly annoyed. "That's an actual word. It means hello and goodbye in Korean."

Fat Amy shakes her head. "That's not a real word, but you keep trying. It's like 'Aloha'. I mean, it also means hello and goodbye, so when you're talking to someone on the phone and you say 'Aloha' to mean goodbye, wouldn't they get confused and start talking again or something?"

Beca nods. "Ah, Amy. So good to know you haven't changed."

Beca then grabs the remote and starts to change channels again, and Stacie says, "I want to watch shows on HBO…or Showtime…or CW…I'm in the mood for watching shirtless guys turning into superheroes or vampires or werewolves."

"Ah, even I can appreciate a shirtless Alcide," Cynthia Rose comments now, making everyone else look at her.

When Beca changes channels, Stacie sees a car chase scene from a "Fast and Furious" movie and she makes the women watch a bit of it, and Cynthia Rose says, "Seriously, Stacie why do you like this crap?"

"This is _not_ crap," Stacie says, in all seriousness. "If you must know, 'The Fast and the Furious' is a profound philosophical meditation on the car as a phallic symbol."

Everyone pauses to think about that one before everyone bursts out laughing.

"But dude, in psychology, everything is a phallic symbol," Beca comments now.

"Not necessarily," Stacie says. "Sometimes, everything is about your mom or dad effing up your life."

Beca nods. "I'm changing channels. We're getting profound psychological discussions off of a 'Fast and Furious' movie. It's freaky."

"You should freak out when we start talking about penis envy and stuff," Stacie says.

"Do people really have penis envy?" Cynthia Rose asks.

Stacie looks at Cynthia Rose squarely in the eye and says, "Do you?"

Cynthia Rose grins. "I don't need a dick to pleasure my woman."

"Eeww, can we not talk about pleasuring anybody at this point?" Beca comments now as she flicks channels. Stacie grabs her shoulder and says, "Wait, wait, I want to watch the E-Network!"

So Beca sticks to the E-Network and they all watch, mesmerized, as gossip show after gossip show commence showing on the channel. This launches a, what Stacie and Cynthia Rose call, "Are they or aren't they?" Which is pretty much trying to guess whether a particular actor or actress is gay.

"What about her?" Stacie says now, pointing to the screen.

"Michelle Rodriguez?" Cynthia Rose asks. "Definitely gay."

"Helen Hunt?" Stacie asks.

"Gay. Maybe bi. Could go either way."

"Kristen Stewart?"

"Might be gay. I mean, she was butcher than Robert Pattison on 'Twilight'."

Amy leans over to them and declares, "This is boring. Let's guess who may or may not be gay at Barden."

"That's even more boring!" Stacie says.

Amy thinks this over and says, "Yeah, we already know that since there's just ten of us, there's like at least two of us who are gay. Cynthia Rose and Denise."

Stacie clears her throat.

"Two point five, including Stacie," Amy corrects herself.

"Although the guessing who's gay could be fun. Like is anyone else weirded out by the fact that Justin is marrying Jessica? I mean I only have love for our home girl, but I always thought Justin was going to end up with Tommy," Cynthia Rose jokes now.

Fat Amy snorts. "I think putting all those turd burgers in one room, will probably be a bad idea. I mean, Justin? Tommy? Donald? Bumper? Jesse? Benji? The universe would probably implode from all the geekiness."

Beca laughs. "True dat."

"Those guys could wear skirts and sleep with guys and still be straight," Fat Amy says now.

"But Justin is tone-deaf and Jessica can sing," Lilly says. "They're perfect for each other."

"Yeah," Stacie says now. "We should just do Truth or Dare."

"Or converse like normal people," Cynthia Rose.

"Or do an old-fashioned riff-off," Fat Amy says. "Stacie and Cynthia Rose together, Beca and me together and Lilly gets to judge who is better."

Cynthia Rose smiles. "Maybe later."

"Maybe _now_," Beca says. "Let's do a riff-off! Woohoo!"

Everyone grabs a piece of paper and writes the categories on it before they put it on a bowl and they pick out the categories. Cynthia Rose goes first.

"Misogynist rappers!" Cynthia Rose yells.

"Oh, shit," Beca says. "That's going to be tough. I can do Eminem.."

"Is that white or black misogynist rappers?" Stacie asks. "Either way I don't know of any."

"Ah, Eminem…remember when _he_ was relevant?" Beca asks now, squinting against the light.

"Younger times," Cynthia says, nodding.

"_Anyong!_" Beca shouts now.

Fat Amy stares at Beca before she says, "Next!" Stacie and Lilly nod in agreement.

"Fine," Cynthia Rose says, and picks another piece of paper from the bowl. "Songs ruined by TV high school musicals!"

Everyone nods as they start to think of songs.

Stacie starts to drunkenly sing Madonna's 'Like a Virgin, "_Like a virgin! Touched for the very…"_

Fat Amy clears her throat and sings, "_First time, ever I saw your…_"

Stacie sings, "_You're the one that I want, hoo-hoo! You're the one that I_…"

Cynthia Rose surprises everyone by singing The Beatles' song, "_I want to hold your hand, I want…_"

Fat Amy hits her belly and sings, "_I want it that way…Tell me…_"

"_Me now…_" Beca suddenly sings. Everyone stops and looks at her. Beca, oblivious, continuous, in her strong, clear voice, _"There's just an empty space…__And there's nothing left here to remind me - just the memory of your face, Take a look at me now, well, there's just an empty space…And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face__…"_

Everyone is silent as Beca swallows and puts a hand on her face, wiping away tears.

Stacie leans over now and gives Beca a hug. Fat Amy slides down to the floor and gives her a hug, too.

Cynthia Rose smiles. "I'd hug you, too, but Fat Amy and Stacie told me hands off everyone's goodies."

Lilly snickers. "You lose this round, Beca. Next!"

"I just want to say though…Backstreet Boys' 'I Want it That Way' and Madonna's 'Like a Virgin' and Phil Collins' 'Against All Odds' weren't really that good to begin with, so there isn't really any more ruining to do with those," Fat Amy says.

Stacie nods as puts her hand in the bowl and shouts out, "Songs about body parts!"

"Naw! I don't want to do a riff-off about body parts!" Fat Amy says.

"Well, why not?" Cynthia Rose says, "You can sing…_I feel it in my fingers…I feel it in my toes…_"

Then everyone grows quiet again, thinking of the next song.

"That's why we can't sing about body parts," Fat Amy concludes. "Cynthia Rose, I assume that was your category?"

"Alright, whatever, next," Stacie says. "Songs about one-night stands!"

"Ugh, next! I only know Bob Seger's song," Fat Amy says.

"Fine," Stacie says. She picks up another piece of paper and says, "Songs with parentheses in them!"

"Songs with parentheses? What the bloody hell? Who came up with that one?" Fat Amy asks.

"What? There are songs with cool parentheses in them!" Cynthia Rose says defensively. "Off the top of my head, there's James' Brown's song…and…."

"U2's '(Pride) In the Name of Love'," Beca says. "(I'm Gonna Be) Five Hundred Miles."

There is a silence as everyone starts to think of other songs with parentheses with them. Then tired of thinking of songs, Stacie sighs and speaks up.

"Screw it, let's do a break up songs!" Stacie declares. _"How can you just walk away from me, when all I can do is watch you leave? When I'm standing here taking every…"_

Fat Amy sings, _"Every breath you take, every move you make, every smile you fake, every step you take, I'll…"_

"_I'll find someone like you," _Beca sings. _"I wish nothing but the best for you…Don't forget me, I pray, I remember you…"_

Lilly sings,_ "You shut your mouth, how can you say, I go about the things the wrong way, I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody…"_

"_Everybody hurts…_" Beca sings. _"Sometimes…Everybody cries…__And everybody hurts sometimes__  
__And everybody hurts sometimes…So, hold on, hold on…"_

"_Hold on for one more day,"_ Stacie sings.

Then everybody starts to sing,

"_Some day somebody's gonna make you want to _

_Turn around and say goodbye _

_Until then baby are you going to let them _

_Hold you down and make you cry _

_Don't you know? _

_Don't you know things can change _

_Things'll go your way _

_If you hold on for one more day _

_Hold on for one more day…"_

Beca smiles as everyone harmonizes like they're still at Barden. When they finish the song, she says, "That's not a break-up song." Everyone just smiles at her. "At least I think it isn't. You guys are nerds."

Cynthia Rose grins. "What would you do without us, Beca?" Then she leans over and says, "It's never too late to switch teams, girl."

Beca only laughs and shakes her head. She sits back, silent, before she speaks up and says, "Why do people get married anyway? It's ridiculous. It's all a bunch of lies, dude. The happy ending. The ever after. Whatever. Jesse believed in. And I foolishly believed in it, too."

The others fall silent, not knowing what to say. Finally Fat Amy speaks up.

"We really shouldn't be doing a riff-off when we're all high and drunk," Fat Amy says. "I'm bored now, let's do something else."

"Hey, now that we're here, can we go to the Hollywood sign?" Cynthia Rose asks. "Beca?"

"Yeah, sure, it's like the middle of the night so yeah, that would be so totally cool. Super cool, in fact. We can hike up there right now, climb up over the fence, climb over the sign, watch as that sets off the alarms or whatever," Beca says. "Then we might get arrested or something and the police'd insist on a full body cavity search. And they won't stop til they get to the back of your teeth."

Cynthia Rose, Lilly, Stacie and Fat Amy stare at Beca.

"Or not," Beca says now. "Anyway, I already did a turn at Barden, so no. Did you know I might have been singlehandedly responsible for the lice infestation in New York City?"

"So, Beca, now that Jesse is single, does that mean he's kind of fair game and anyone can date him?" Stacie asks, casually.

Beca stares at Stacie now before she says, "Dude, no."

Stacie shrugs. "Eh, thought I'd give it a shot."

"Dude, sisters before misters, what's the matter with you?" Fat Amy asks now.

There is a silence as they drink, smoke and watch television, everyone feeling loose and laidback. Because Beca is now drunk and high, she is able to speak more freely, and she tells her friends now, "It was my fault, guys. It was entirely my fault. I pushed him away. I should've worked harder on it, shoulda exerted more effort, shoulda done more…shoulda agreed to the kids he wanted…shoulda opened up more…"

Then Fat Amy says, "Okay, mate, you're allowed a few more hours of moping and being depressed and all that, but after tonight, you've got to move on, okay? This is so not healthy…" There is silence as Beca nods and wipes her eyes on the sleeve of her shirt, sheepishly smiling at everyone, as Amy asks, "Do you know why he wanted a divorce?"

Beca is silent. Then she slowly nods her head. "I feel like I shoulda seen it coming, you know? Like it just felt like it came way out of left field. And fuck I thought it was all going great and I was being all cool and not clingy and needy and shit like that and…I had this checklist…in my head how a perfect marriage would be like…I mean, he's like the perfect guy…what woman wouldn't _want_ him? And I kind of threw that away…"

"Maybe it's the sex," Stacie says, and as soon as she says it, everyone is groaning, protesting loudly at her theory. "C'mon, listen to me for a sec. It could totally be about the sex." As everyone tries to protest, Stacie rolls her eyes now at Beca and the others with impatience. "What? I think the state of your sex life is a pretty good indicator of where your relationship is at. I mean, when you're having regular sex you're finding everything sexy, because of all that vaginal blood flow, you're sensitive where it counts, you're not as easily grossed out, your mind chills out, your happier all that time because of all those endorphins…I mean, Beca, how's the sex been? "

"Hmmm, yeah, how long has it been since you last got any?" Fat Amy says now.

"Seriously? Um, dude, no. I'm totally not going to tell you what my sex life was like with Jesse," Beca says now.

"I mean, with you guys always living apart for so long, it couldn't have been all good," Fat Amy continues now.

"Eeww, seriously," Beca says now.

"And like he's an actor and stuff, so he gets to make out with other girls, so it's like legit cheating or something," Amy continues.

Everyone falls silent, drinking and smoking. Beca drinks a bottle of soju, which, as she grows drunker, is becoming less and less abhorrent and says, softly. "There's someone else."

When everyone looks at her, she says, more loudly this time, "Jesse says there's someone else. And I just received the divorce papers and they keep bugging me to sign it and _fuck_ I don't want to because if I sign it then it's all over and fuck, fuck, _fuck_."

And then Beca starts to cry again.

Fat Amy and Stacie inch closer to Beca and put their arms around her as she starts to sob. Everyone is silent.

"You know what you should do, Beca?" Lilly speaks up now.

"What?" Beca asks now.

"You should totally, like, get some random guy who looks _exactly_ like Jesse and dump his ass!" Lilly says.

"Oh, totally!" Stacie agrees.

Everyone grins and nods.

Beca looks at them and through her tears, she manages to half-grin. "So, just to get this straight, because I'm so high and drunk right now, I'm not even sure if half of what everyone's saying makes sense but, _I_ should get some random guy who looks _exactly_ like Jesse and dump his ass?" Beca asks now. When everyone nods again, Beca rolls her eyes. "Great friends you are, you guys."

"_Anyway_," Fat Amy says now, rolling her eyes, "Marriage is overrated."

"How should you know?" Stacie asks. "You're not even married."

Amy looks at her. "Neither are you. And you know what's ironic about that? The fact that you are a marriage counselor."

Stacie rolls her eyes. "_Relationship_ counselor, not a marriage counselor. Plus I don't actually need to be in a marriage to actually dispense good relationship advice."

"The only one who's probably closest to giving some sound relationship advice is Cynthia Rose. Are you even in a relationship, Stacie?" Amy demands to know now.

Stacie pauses, unable to answer that, before she turns up her nose and says, "I won't say. I don't even tell my therapist that."

"Well, why the bloody hell not?" Amy asks.

Stacie stares at her in exasperation. "Because that's private."

It's Amy's turn to roll her eyes. "Whatever, mate." Then she turns to Beca and says, "Yeah, there's only two choices you have, mate, married and bored? Or single and lonely? Married and bored? Or single and lonely? Married and bored? Or single and lonely...?"

Beca only smiles. "Thanks, you guys. I mean it. I really appreciate you awesome nerds."

Amy smiles at her. "Maybe…maybe it was just meant to be. I know that sucks right now and it doesn't make sense, but maybe it kind of just…run its course. Maybe it couldn't go any further. Maybe that was it. It was over."

Beca nods.

"I mean, do you guys even love each other?" Amy continues, casually. "I mean, if you do, mate, you should totally fight for him and sing that song you sang to him during Nationals, because some things are worth fighting for, but if you don't love each other anymore, and you guys kind of just settled, and everything's gotten boring and predictable and you're not even like, lovers anymore and just, you know, roommates or whatever, then all of this was probably for the best you know…?"

Fat Amy then takes a swig of whiskey, smiles at Beca and says, "Just remember, mate, life doesn't end just 'cause your ex wants your life together to. Sometimes, the worst thing that ever happens to you, turns out to be the best thing. Trust me on this."

Everyone nods and Beca sits there, listening to Amy, not knowing how to respond. After a few moments, Cynthia Rose breaks the silence.

"I really want to get to the Hollywood sign," Cynthia Rose says now.

"Wow, your apartment looks like it was designed by Dr. Seuss," Fat Amy says now.

"Dude, what are you talking about?" Beca asks, but the back of her mind, what lingers is Amy's question. Did she and Jesse still love each other? Had it just run its course? She hadn't thought of it in that way, and as she sits there, she knits her brows, an idea suddenly coming to her, and she puts her hand to her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. It's something that's come to her, only now, a realization, an epiphany, but the idea wafts through her mind and disappears again, and she curses her drug-addled, booze-addled haze because she can't seem to grasp the idea and as her friends' voices distract, she gives up trying to think and listens as Amy and Stacie argue about something or other.

* * *

At about four or five am, when everyone is more sufficiently stoned and drunk, and Beca feels like the world is spinning dangerously out of control and everyone has had a snack of ramyeon which everyone agrees is too spicy, and Lilly insists on teaching everyone the lyrics to "Gangnam Style" to everyone's consternation, as it includes the insufferable dance that goes with it, and they have deconstructed Beca's relationship inside and out, using a variety of analytical tools at Stacie's disposal, including, but not limited to Freudian, Jungian and other psychological tools, and Beca starts being transcendental on everyone else thus: "Where do we come from? Where are we going? What are struggling for? What is life?" everyone decides to call it a night and sleep where they are. Amy secures a place on the floor, on an inflatable mattress, shared with Lilly, Cynthia Rose sleeps on pillows and bean bags and Stacie falls asleep on the couch. Beca stumbles to her bedroom and is, for once, glad that she is too stoned and drunk to do or think about anything else.

* * *

Beca is dreaming of bass beats and chord progressions done up in full Van Gogh style kind of painting, with the colors vibrating against her mind's eye, and she feels herself standing in front of all that color before she feels the ground shake beneath her feet and she looks down and in her mind's eye she can see a large crack forming and she wonders what's happening but then she hears a disembodied voice calling out her name in the distance.

She thinks she's still in a dream when she hears someone shout, "Beca! Beca!" before she realizes it's someone's voice, possibly Cynthia Rose, who is pushing and shoving and shaking her.

She groans and mumbles, "Yeah, yeah, I'm up, dude, I'm up, geez…"

When she opens an eyelid, Cynthia Rose is peering down at her, worried, before Cynthia Rose says, "Oh, good, you're up. You were so totally passed out. I couldn't wake you. At first I thought you O.D.'ed or something, but I'm like, who O.D.s on weed?"

As Beca gets up, blinking against the harsh light, and yawning and stretching, Cynthia Rose continues, "Yeah, and I'd been trying to wake you for _an hour_, Beca. The others are up. Wedding's in a few minutes, and we're going to be late, so hurry up and get dressed."

When Cynthia Rose says this, Beca springs to action and the minute she tries to get up, she feels it, the worst hangover she has ever experienced, and she groans and says, "Oh, fuck, how much did we drink last night?"

Cynthia Rose shrugs. "I don't know. But judging by the empty bottles of whiskey and that awful soju thingie that Lilly brought, maybe a lot and yeah, I have the same damn hangover you have. We'll wait for you in the kitchen."

Once Beca manages to dress, she stumbles into the kitchen, where everyone else in various states of distress, groaning and making faces and otherwise looking listless and exhausted, eyes red and bloodshot, trying to drink coffee, trying to hurry up as Cynthia Rose tries to rally them.

"Shut the bloody hell up," Amy whispers to Cynthia Rose, as she tries to drink her black coffee.

Beca smells the coffee and feels nauseated all of a sudden.

She reaches for the box of cereal and a bowl and pours the cereal on the bowl. Lilly lights up seeing the box and says, "Lemme see that. I wanna see if there's like a power ring inside or whatever."

Everyone looks at Lilly. "Seriously. Are you twelve?" Beca asks.

"Whatever. It's a Green Lantern power ring," Lilly says now. As she gets another bowl and pours the rest of the contents of the box into the bowl, the aforementioned Green Lantern power ring reveals itself and she holds up it proudly as the others groan at her, not having the energy to tease her about it.

Beca attempts one though, by saying, "Green Lanterns are the worst protectors of the universe though."

When everyone looks at her, surprised, she says, "What? My ex is a nerd and his best friend is Benji."

"You have a point," Amy says.

Beca grabs a half-empty bottle of whiskey and pours it on her bowl of cereal before she realizes what she is doing, considers emptying her bowl before she decides to eat it anyway.

Cynthia Rose spots her and says, "Beca, no! We agreed you're only allowed one drunken, joint-filled night, after which you're supposed to move on and stuff. And what the hell are you doing eating cereal with whiskey?"

Beca says, "Leave me alone. I am hungover and the best cure for a hangover is whiskey. And I'm out of milk, so."

"Actually, you know what, that's probably a good idea," Amy says, grabbing the bottle of whiskey and drinking from it, before passing it on to Stacie, who also drinks from the bottle.

When Stacie passes the bottle to Lilly, Lilly only grins and shows the bottle of soju she's drinking and Stacie makes a face. "Ugh. That's the most awful drink ever known to mankind. Keep that away from me."

Stacie offers a drink to Cynthia Rose and Cynthia Rose says, "Denise will kill me."

"Pussy!" Beca says. "Whipped!"

Cynthia Rose says, "I am _not_ whipped!"

"You _so_ are!" Beca says, feeling the warmth and effect of the whiskey in her veins.

"Yeah, you _so_ are!" the others agree, so Cynthia Rose ends up drinking whiskey as well, just to prove she isn't whipped, although she knows as well as everyone else does that she _is,_ actually, pretty much whipped.

* * *

And so it was that Beca, Amy, Stacie, Lilly and Cynthia Rose end up being drunk for the second straight day, and almost never make it to the wedding.

They arrive at the chapel in taxi, and would have arrived there sooner had there not been an argument about what constitutes pretentious music and whether Chris Brown and other musicians with a history of abuse should be supported by their fans and the general public, even though their behavior is abhorrent and positively offensive, and there's an argument between Beca and Lilly about the Green Lanterns being the worst guardians of the universe and so they completely missed the chapel. They thus had to make the taxi circle back a second time before they all get off, all of them in sunglasses and formal dresses, swaying to and fro and wobbling through the front steps of the church and making a hell of a noise as they open the chapel doors. When the doors open with a not-so loud bang that makes the other guests turn around and collectively glare at them, the women only smirk and giggle and whisper apologies as they try to make their way to the front pews, where Jessica and Justin had reserved a place for her Barden Bella friends. They make a general commotion doing so, and finally as they all sit down, they realize that they haven't actually missed much. Cynthia Rose sits on the farthest right, followed by Amy, Stacie, Lilly and finally, Beca.

The women have skipped the part where the priest says how wonderful marriage is and how sacred it is and how the bride and groom should take care of each other and Beca is grateful for that. She hadn't actually even planned on coming anyway. The fact that her marriage is ending hasn't really made her a ray of sunshine and positivity as of late, and the last thing she wants to go to is a wedding, and a Barden alumni wedding, where she is bound to see not only friends from Barden, but also Jesse. The whiskey, soju, weed from last night, coupled with the liquor from today had convinced her to come and now she is here. She notes with satisfaction and relief though that there is no Jesse, ex-husband, to be seen and her nervousness subsides.

Just before the bride and groom exchange rings, Cynthia Rose, who has been tasked not only to pick up but also to keep the rings said bride, Jessica and Ashley had been too busy to actually do it themselves, realizes that she has either forgotten or lost the wedding ring. As Cynthia Rose pats all available pockets on her person, searching for the ring, her girlfriend, Denise, standing beside Ashley (the other bridesmaid), grows increasingly angry. Since no ring can be produced, she ends up borrowing Lilly's power ring, and Donald, who had come as well to attend Justine's wedding, just happens to have a vintage Captain Planet ring, which, as luck would have it, he had been wearing for just such an occasion. Denise continues to glare at Cynthia Rose, not only for being late, but for causing such a ruckus, and Beca cannot help but smile. Cynthia Rose's look of fear in the face of her angry girlfriend has just proven to them how whipped Cynthia Rose really is. Especially as later, during the reception, Denise tells her, irritated, "You had one job, Cynthia Rose, one job!"

If the bride and groom are surprised that the wedding rings are a Green Lantern power ring and a vintage Captain Planet ring, they never let on, and take it in stride, exchanging vows with the rings as best as they could as Beca, Lilly, Amy, Stacie and Cynthia Rose try their best not to burst out laughing. Or hurl. Or both at the same time.

Halfway through the wedding, in which the friends try not to doze off, Beca feels someone sit beside her and because the pew is already full, she has to move to make space for the person and finds herself sandwiched between said person and Lilly. She finds herself annoyed at the new arrangement, especially since she realizes that she is wearing an ill-fitting dress that, in her drunken, flushed state, isn't really the most comfortable, and so she turns, fully intending to give whoever has pushed her nearer to the others, a good talking to. But then as she does so, there's a familiar scent, fragrant and distinctive, the smell of springtime and light rain, and when she turns, she sees a light blue dress, creamy, smooth thighs, toned arms beneath see-through lacelike sleeves and as her eyes trail up to the neck, to the star-shaped diamond earrings, and to the flow of red tresses now catching the light of the late afternoon sun shining from the chapel window, she finds herself staring at the bluest eyes she has ever seen, eyes that she's always thought were eyes as blue as the sky, eyes she's always thought were the bluest in the world, eyes that showed oceans and stars and much, much beauty and as she looks, she finds herself staring, open-mouthed, before Chloe Beale, said owner of the pair of beautiful baby blue eyes, gorgeous and stunning as always, as Chloe smiles down at her and says, in the same sweet voice that Beca has always known, "Hey, Beca. Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?"

* * *

**_A/N: That's it for this chapter! Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Your kind reviews for this chapter are always welcome and much appreciated and will go a long way in inspiring this writer to continue this story._**

**_I know you guys want to fastforward stuff, but one of the things I loved with the movie was the music and the celebration of female friendships, hence the riff-off and this friendship chapter, which I had so much fun doing._**

**_Many thanks to DragonsWillFly as always for the beta._**

**_Also, many thanks to the PMs, faves and alerts and thanks so much to mitchii2506, SunnyoO and kickangel for your reviews for the last couple of chapters._**

**_Songs featured in this chapter:_**

**_Like a Virgin by Madonna_**

**_First Time Ever I Saw Your Face_**

**_You're the One that I Want from the musical "Grease"_**

**_I Want It That Way by The Backstreet Boys_**

**_Against All Odds by Phil Collins_**

**_Every Breath You Take by the Police_**

**_Someone Like You by Adele_**

**_How Soon Is Now by The Smiths_**

**_Everybody Hurts by R.E.M._**

**_Hold On by Wilson Philips_**


	4. Waiting to Exhale

Jesse Swanson is the last person on earth Beca expected to see at Justin and Jessica's wedding.

In retrospect she should have anticipated it, since Jesse, being Jesse, is friends with Justin, and of course, Jessica being a Barden Bella is by extension a friend of Beca's, so of course both would remember to invite Jesse as well. Beca isn't sure if the rest of the Bellas or Trebles or any of the Barden and non-Barden friends that Jesse and Beca had, outside of Fat Amy, Stacie, Cynthia Rose and Lilly, know about the divorce, but if they do, they are very good at pretending like everything is normal. In fact, Beca can already guess that it would have been awkward for Justin and Jessica _not_ to invite Jesse, even if they _had_ known through the grapevine that the golden couple of Barden University's a capella community are no longer together, since though Justin and Jessica had known each other at Barden through the riff-offs and the Bellas and Trebles connection, it had been through Jesse and Beca's wedding that the two had actually reconnected.

Everything would have been alright, actually, even though she had gone to the wedding drunk and smelling of alcohol and was feeling very embarrassed, guilty and self-conscious by the second as she sat squirming beside the very sober and very fragrant Chloe Beale, who sat beside her unfazed by what Beca thought was the very strong smell of liquor emanating, not only from her, but from the rest of the former Barden Bellas currently in attendance from their pew. So as Lilly and the others had leaned over and greeted Chloe, she had kept quiet, not knowing what to do or say. Chloe though doesn't seem to have noticed her discomfort and though Chloe hasn't seen the other former Barden Bellas since the last wedding, which was Beca and Jesse's, she'd fit right in, not feeling out of place at all, like she'd just been gone a few hours, and not a few years, picking up where she had left off with everyone when they were all at Barden. Though Chloe is older than the other Barden Bellas and Trebles, since she was a senior when Beca and the others, all freshmen, had joined the Bellas, she fits right in, chatting with the others as if she's known them her whole life.

But then, as the wedding ceremony ends, she actually spots Jesse, where the other Barden alums are. And as she stares at him in his handsome tuxedo as he chats and jokes with the other guests, the feeling that Beca had thought had gone away the past few hours had come back - the feeling of being small, insignificant, and completely inadequate and unworthy - until she realizes that her vision is becoming blurry, that her eyes are pooling with tears. She spots a woman standing beside him and she doesn't know what to say. Suddenly she feels the urge to hug and punch Jesse at the same time. The other Bellas seem to notice Jesse, too, and one by one, they steal a glance her way, to see if she is okay, and she smiles this fake smile to everyone, making certain everyone knows she is fine. When everyone stands up right after Justin and Jessica kiss each other and the priest announces that they are now husband and wife (Beca resists the urge to snort), Beca is positively miserable as she stands up herself to half-heartedly clap for the newlyweds. But then Chloe slips an arm in Beca's arm and the contact surprises Beca at first, and she looks up at Chloe and Chloe smiles an encouraging smile, before she says, simply, "You okay, Beca?" Beca looks at Chloe's blue eyes, and finds herself nodding, even though she's suddenly feeling despondent, but thankfully Chloe doesn't press the issue and continues to smile at her as she tugs at her and they follow the rest of the wedding guests out of the church.

Deep inside though, there's this anxiety and agitation and nervousness that settles on her as if she isn't really sure whether she should stay or go, and all she can think of doing is curling up in a ball and crying again, like she did the many days and weeks after Jesse had asked for space, then a separation, then a divorce. But she's also Beca Mitchell, formerly Beca Mitchell-Swanson, and she wants to show everyone that she's actually cool with everything so she ends up following everyone to the reception after. She feels like it seems rude not to, and so she finds herself at the wedding reception, in a nice hotel atop a hill overlooking the rest of L.A., with a swimming pool outside and a nice view of the city, listening to, of all things, an 80s tribute band doing covers of Ace of Base, Madonna, Pat Benatar and Roxette on the stage as everyone is attempting what appears to be some form of dancing, which involves flailing, thrashing, throwing their hands in the air and waving them from side to side, putting their ass out and shaking them desperately, kicking their feet out or back, like doing a bad impersonation of wild horses or bulls attacking matadors during a bullfight, or an excited pack of gibbons, whilst Fat Amy is in the middle encouraging everyone, in a very, very loud voice, to "Go forth and _conjugate!_"

Earlier, and last night, actually, Fat Amy had given Beca a lecture extolling the joys and virtues of dating again, now that Beca's newly single. She'd actually started going through her phone and her facebook to see who was single and she'd encouraged everyone else to do the same. They'd actually started to call, text and message people if they were free and asking them out on blind dates for Beca, to Beca's horror. Thankfully, everyone had been too drunk and too high to remember what they were doing the night before, but seeing Fat Amy now, indicating, every now and then, a handsome guy in a tux dancing so passionately to an Ace of Bace song and mouthing the words, "Get his number!" and "_Conjugate!_" to Beca, makes Beca realize that Fat Amy had, in fact remembered, and is taking the "Get-Beca-to-date-again" mandate seriously. When Stacie and Ashley approach her with a single guy in tow, and Lilly does the same, and later, Cynthia Rose and Denise come with a dazed-looking guy standing awkwardly beside them as Cynthia Rose introduces the guy to Beca, Beca thinks she could die of embarrassment. Especially since Chloe is sitting in full view of her, a glass of wine in hand, completely entertained by their college friends' antics.

Beca had actually tried to go out with some guys, after Jesse had announced that he had wanted a separation, but she had found it to be a disaster. She doesn't know whether it's because she's older now, or the rules of the game have changed, but she feels like she's getting too old, really, for the dating game. Because it _is_ essentially a game, she thinks. From the hours-long preparation for the date, to the date itself, to the conversation, to thinking of something witty to say, to trying to impress the date and so on. Beca finds she cannot really be bothered with it.

As the wedding reception kicks into high gear, and people get more and more drunk, Beca is feeling more and more sober as the minutes tick by and is consequently also feeling a headache coming on. The novelty of watching people drink and dance and generally make fools of themselves on the dance floor has worn off, and in a little while, she sees Lilly in one corner chatting with Donald, Bumper off to one corner catching up with a clearly and increasingly unamused and incredulous Fat Amy, Denise talking to Cynthia Rose and Stacie and Ashley sitting by one of the tables, leaning towards each other, laughing and chatting, like they were sharing secrets of some kind. Chloe sits beside her, chatting with her, and though she tries to respond to Chloe, she is a bit distracted by the fact that only a few meters away is her ex-husband acting all oblivious, like he hasn't sent her the divorce papers and has just asked her, through his lawyer, when she was going to sign them.

As he laughs at something Tommy is telling him, Beca can't take it anymore, and she turns to Chloe and says, "I'm sorry, I need to go…" and without further explanation she grabs a beer, stands up and heads out into the hall and out into the bright late afternoon sun. She finds herself out on the balcony, where a large infinity pool is currently reflecting the sunset on the water. The swimming pool is currently unoccupied, and strangely peaceful and calming, so Beca moves to one of the lounge chairs nearer the edge of the pool, away from the doors and she stares out, into the LA skyline, watching the rest of humanity down below rush to and from work like little ants.

* * *

Beca watches the late afternoon sky. The sky is clear, the sun wild, blood red and orange in the horizon. A breeze blows against her and she wishes she'd brought a coat or something to protect herself from the cold wind.

The bottle of beer sits beside her, unopened and forgotten as she stares at the horizon, sun and sky blurring as her mind wanders off to nothing in particular.

Even though the huge glass doors are closed, she can still hear the vague sounds of the party, which, judging from the singing and shouting and laughter and tinkling of glasses is now in full swing with friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances celebrating the occasion with wine and song. She can swear that the Barden contingent is probably having a grand time with the singing and the dancing and the inevitable riff-off that they would stage, especially since Justin and Tommy are in attendance.

She suddenly just wants to leave now. She suddenly feels like she isn't really in a partying mood. She suddenly has the urge to be as far away from the party as possible, to be as far away from the noise, the revelry, the happiness, the laughter, just the general desperate cheerfulness of it all. Most of all, she just wants to be as far away from Jesse as possible.

But then of course, right on cue, Jesse, still looking fresh and suave in his tux, suddenly appears out of nowhere, sees her and calls out, "Hey, Beca. There you are! We've been looking all over for you. Jessica's looking for you. They're about to cut the cake."

There's something about Jesse pretending like everything's alright that really annoys Beca right then as he approaches her and for a second she contemplates punching him again, just to wipe the grin from his face, but decides against it, since she'd already put all that "punch people in public" thing behind her.

Jesse is unaware though of what's going on with her as he approaches, smiling like for all intents and purposes everything is fine between them.

He stops just a few yards from her before he hesitates and says, a bit uncertainly this time, "Come on, you're missing the party, Beca. Stacie's drunk and has started to touch herself again and Ashley's trying to make her stop, Fat Amy is standing on one of tables, beating her chest while singing 'Edge of Glory' in a very, very loud voice and…"

She screws up her eyes now, looks up at him, growing irritated by the second as Jesse continues to ramble on about the Barden Bellas.

"What are you doing?" she finally interrupts him, exasperated.

Jesse stops talking long enough to look at her and asks, "What do you mean what am I doing?"

"That thing you're doing where you're pretending like everything's normal, when they're not, Jesse," Beca says. "They're really not."

"Beca…" Jesse implores her now. "Can we just…_not_ do this right now?"

Beca stops cold. "Yeah, whatever, Jesse. What-_fucking_-ever."

There is an awkward silence as Jesse nervously runs a hand on his wavy hair. For a second, he does not know what to say.

"Beca, I know I've hurt you and nothing I'll ever do will be enough, but…I hope we can move past this some day," Jesse begins to say now, "Maybe become friends or something."

Beca looks at him coldly. "What, is that something you learned from one of your movies, Jesse? When the couple doesn't get their happily ever after, they get to be friends anyway?"

Jesse advances towards her now, cautious, hesitant. "Beca, _please_, let's not do this," he says, voice low and calm, weary, pleading.

"Don't _do_ this?" Beca says. "Don't do what, exactly, Jesse?"

"Beca, seriously, I don't want to do this. This isn't the right time," Jesse says, his eyes imploring her.

"Fine," Beca says. "When's the right time then?"

Jesse is silent.

"When _is _the right time?" Beca repeats now, voice low and even and slightly menacing. "Because I have a lot of words to say about those divorce papers you sent me by mail a few days after you ask for a separation. I have a lot of words to say about the fact that _clearly_ you'd been thinking about it for a long time. I have a lot to say about you _cheating_ on me while we were together… I have a lot to say about…"

"Beca, _stop_."

Then a voice from behind, timid and uncertain, asks, "Is…everything okay here?"

Beca and Jesse both turn and it's Chloe, standing there, in the hallway, looking unsure as Jesse and Beca look at each other. There is a silence that passes between them before Jesse speaks up.

"We're fine," Jesse answers now.

"Yeah, I think we're done here," Beca says now.

Jesse nods in agreement, all too eagerly. "Yeah, we're done here. Sorry."

Chloe nods towards Jesse. Both Chloe and Beca are silent as Jesse marches off into the direction of the hall.

For a few minutes, they stand there, not knowing what to say, before Chloe says, softly, "Are you okay? …"

Beca snaps out of her thoughts and looks into Chloe's blue eyes and she shakes her head and says, "I'm fine. It's okay. What's up?"

As Chloe begins to tell her that they're about to cut the cake, and that there will be other parts to the ceremony that she apparently needs to be present for, Beca realizes she needs to get out of there. If only to keep her dignity and respect intact.

So she nods and follows Chloe inside the hall, but she quietly slips out as Tommy, the best man, start to make his toast to the bride and groom, recounting his friendship with Justin, Justin and Jessica's friendship and love story, anecdotes about the friendly rivalry between the Barden Bellas and the Treblemakers and how aca-awesome it is that Justin and Jessica are aca-destined to be together and will have aca-children and have an aca-awesome life. Beca doesn't even have the energy to roll her eyes at Tommy's speech.

She doesn't want her eyes to stray to where Jesse is seated at a table near the bride and groom's table, but she does, and again, annoyance and anger burn within her as she sees Jesse chuckling at something Tommy has just said. She really wants to leave now.

And so she does.

She doesn't say goodbye to the newlyweds or any of her friends as the dancing resumes. She quietly slips out and heads home.

* * *

Jesse Swanson is the last person on earth Beca would expect to show up on her doorstep at a little after one in the morning, shivering slightly in the early morning air, with a sheepish, awkward smile on his face and a hopeful look in his eyes.

But the insistent doorbell ringing forces Beca to get up from the bed, where she has spent the better part of the evening thinking about what went wrong with her relationship with Jesse, a past time she's been trying to unsuccessfully wean herself out of, since dissecting her decomposing relationship with her ex-husband is an exercise in futility that can quickly spiral into depression. She had wondered if she had other relationships that had the same pattern. She had been recalling past relationships prior to Jesse Swanson and she is horrified to find out that she hadn't had much in the way of relationships in the first place, that she couldn't recall any one special prior to Jesse. There were the occasional dates she went to in high school, but nothing really serious, except for this guy, junior year or senior year in high school, an emo kind of guy who was in some kind of rock band that she semi-dated but hadn't been serious with. She just recently fallen asleep when the doorbell rings and it jolts her awake. She angrily and grudgingly trudges to the door, half-asleep, half-awake in her shirt and sweatsuit, checks to see who it is and she opens the door, pauses when she sees Jesse standing there, before she takes one look at him and slams the door on his face.

She stops, yawns, turns around and heads to the living room.

But the doorbell rings again.

Beca curses under her breath and, irritated, she marches back towards the door, peers through the hole and sees red hair instead.

She opens the door and Chloe, standing there, shivering in her gown.

"Hi, sorry to bother you, Beca, please don't slam the door on my face, too, but I believe this belongs to you?" Chloe says, before she turns to the side and reveals Fat Amy, visibly drunk and out of it, her arm draped around Jesse, who is making sure she doesn't collapse on the pavement. "I mean, she got totally wasted at the reception and she told us she's crashing at your place so…"

"Oh my god, how much has she had to drink?" Beca says now, concerned, as she steps aside and lets them in.

Chloe shrugs. "I don't know."

Jesse moves Fat Amy to the living room and gently lets Fat Amy sit on the couch. Fat Amy screws up her eyes and sees Beca and she grins and slurs, "Oh, hey, Beca, wassup?" before she slides down on the couch, mumbles something and starts to snore.

"You…probably need to turn her on her side, in case she starts to hurl or something," Chloe says now. "Don't want her choking on her own vomit now."

Jesse moves to pull Fat Amy higher up the couch, assisted by Chloe and seconds later, Beca moves to help as well.

"Ugh, Amy, you weigh a ton!" Jesse whines as he grunts.

Fat Amy, completely unhelpful to the rest of them, letting them push and pull her, comments, eyes closed, "That's why they call me Fat Amy, mate." There is silence again as they huff and puff and grunt as she cracks one eye open and says, slurring her words, "Oh, hey, Cynthia Rose proposed to Denise! At the wedding reception! And then at the Hollywood Sign! I don't know if in that order! But yeah! Cynthia Rose and Denise are getting married! Woohoo!"

The three don't respond to the news, as they are busy adjusting her on the couch, heaving and pushing as best as they could to put her in a comfortable position, making sure she is lying on her side. Once the three are done with their task, they all straighten up and stand around the living room, awkwardly looking at each other. Beca doesn't know if Chloe has already found out about her divorce from Jesse, but if her looking and feeling awkward in their presence, seems like a good indication as any.

She doesn't know what possesses her, but she blurts out, "Do you guys want to have coffee or something?"

Jesse shakes his head as Chloe nods her head and says, "Yeah. Would love to."

"Um, I've got to go, but I need to get something in the bedroom, if that's okay with you Beca," Jesse says, refusing to meet Beca's eyes.

Beca just nods, wordlessly, as Jesse makes his way to the bedroom.

Beca stands there for a few seconds, before she decides to follow him.

* * *

When she gets there, Jesse is opening and closing drawers with practiced ease, drawers that used to house his stuff.

She leans by the doorway, growing irritated by the second as she looks at Jesse going through her stuff.

"What are you doing?" she finally asks.

"I…I'm looking for something…I…" Jesse mutters as he goes through drawers one more time.

"Jesse, not that I don't enjoy these little visits, but what are you doing?"

Convinced that it isn't there, Jesse straightens up and says, "Sorry, it's my grandmother's locket, I think I lost it. And I just wanted to make sure it wasn't here or anything."

"Well, clearly it's not here," Beca says. "So, if you could stop going through my stuff now, Jesse that would be great. They're not your stuff anymore…"

"Beca…" Jesse implores her now. He advances towards her now. "Beca, _please_."

Beca is silent for a few seconds, before she steps to one of the drawers, pulls it out, rummages through it, pulls something out, and holds it up for him to see. It is the locket that Jesse is looking for.

"Is this what you're looking for?" she asks, and before he can answer, she throws it to his face.

There is a visible hurt on Jesse's face, as the locket hits his face, but he stays calm and says, wearily, "Beca, it's late, I'm tired, I have an early day today, and I really, _really_, don't want to fight right now."

"Fine," Beca says. "I need you to leave now."

Jesse is silent.

"Beca…"

"I said, _leave_," Beca repeats now.

"Beca…" Jesse says again, hurt evident on his face. "I don't want to do this. I _really_ don't."

"_Fine_," Beca says now, folding her arms in front of her. "Were you ever going to tell me about whoever you were sleeping with, Jesse? I mean, who was she, Jesse? Some stupid bimbo you met on the set…? Some fan girl you met at Comic Con…?"

"Beca, _stop_."

"I mean, for fuck's sake, Jesse, you couldn't wait til at least after the divorce before you decide to bring some bimbo to some wedding…"

And then Jesse loses it. Suddenly Jesse is shouting at her. "There's no one else, Beca! There never was!" This shuts Beca up. Jesse takes a deep breath. "There was never anyone else, Beca. There was just you."

Beca is surprised, his words silencing her for a few moments. "Then why would you …Why would you lie about that? Why would you say that?"

It is Jesse's turn to be silent. Then he speaks up. "I just..." He looks up at her, and there's obvious hurt and pain in his eyes. "Because…Beca, we're best _friends_. We're _roommates_. You don't love me…not really…"

"I _do_ love you, Jesse…" Beca interrupts.

"I know you love me, Beca," Jesse says. "But you're not _in_ love with me."

"I don't even know what that means, Jesse," Beca says. "I mean, I loved you. _Love_ you. In my own way."

"And what way is that, Beca?" Jesse asks now. When Beca doesn't answer, Jesse says, "You think you know, Beca, but really, you don't." When Beca continues to be silent, Jesse continues, "Come on, Beca, let's not pretend anymore. This wasn't the greatest marriage ever and you know it. It just wasn't working anymore…"

There is silence between them now.

Beca just stands there, not knowing what to say. What did everything that Jesse just said even _mean_? About them just being roommates? Being best friends? About loving someone and being _in_ love with someone? Was there a difference between them? How could he say that? How could he say she didn't love him? How could he think about these things?

"Divorce papers….Beca…." Jesse is saying now. "...Are you even listening to me right now?"

Beca comes out of her thoughts and focuses her eyes on Jesse.

Jesse looks visibly upset. "Are you even listening to me Beca? Are you…Are you zoning out again? Are you doing that thing again where you're doing mixes on your head…because god…I really _hate _it when you _do_ that…"

"Sorry, what?" Beca asks now.

Jesse just stares at her in exasperation. "The divorce papers, Beca. When are you signing them?"

Before Beca can think of a suitable angry, snarky retort to that, suddenly a knock from behind, followed by a familiar voice, unobtrusive and tentative, asks, "Is…everything okay here?" breaks the silence.

Beca and Jesse both turn and it's Chloe, again, standing there, in the hallway, looking uncertain as Jesse and Beca stand head to head in what used to be their bedroom.

"We're fine," Jesse answers now. "Everything's fine."

"Yeah, Jesse was just leaving," Beca says now.

Jesse nods. "Yeah, I was just…leaving. I've got to go. Sorry."

Chloe nods towards Jesse and both Chloe and Beca are silent as Jesse marches off, footsteps receding down the hall. The slam of the front door and the voice of Fat Amy expressing surprise at the sound, jolts them, makes them grimace.

For a few minutes, they stand there, not knowing what to say, before Chloe says, softly, "I'm sorry, this is…awkward…But are you okay? Do you want some time alone? I'm sorry…this seems like a bad time…and…"

Beca snaps out of her thoughts and looks into Chloe's blue eyes and she shakes her head and says, "I'm fine. It's okay. How about that coffee, huh?"

* * *

The kitchen is silent as Beca and Chloe sip wine. At the last minute, Beca had decided to have some wine instead. She'd been saving an old bottle of wine for a special occasion, but since there really was nothing to celebrate, she decides to have a drink instead, to calm her nerves. Chloe also has a change of heart and is sipping wine as well. Neither woman is unsure how to start a conversation following the awkwardness of finding Jesse and Beca arguing so they sip in silence.

Beca thinks of what Jesse has said, about their marriage not being perfect. Of all the things that she realizes from having been with Jesse this long, it's the fact that everything has just seemed like an illusion right up to now. To everyone else, their marriage seemed perfect, but to Jesse, apparently, it wasn't. Seen in the broad, clear light of day, their marriage seems like a joke now, if Jesse's words are anything to go by. Something from Kierkegaard (her father was a snobby literature and philosophy professor at Barden University, one of the foremost Proust and Kierkegaard scholars in the country, and she had spent her youth surrounded with academic conversations) comes to her now, something about repetition. As she stares at her wine now, thinking of her conversation with Jesse, it comes back to her, about how Kierkegaard has said that it's all repetition. She remembers Kierkegaard because her father had quoted Kierkegaard during one of those very loud, very excruciating arguments between her father and mother right before the divorce. Her mother had asked for the divorce, said she just couldn't stand living with her father any more, and her father, ever the pompous ass, had lectured her mother on Kierkegaard, in a last ditch attempt to make her stay, which, obviously made her mother want to leave him even faster. Her father had this long speech about how yes, a marriage as long as theirs might be mired in repetition, like Kierkegaard has said, and repetition, by its very nature is intrinsically boring, something to be avoided, and he is aware that their marriage and relationship has become repetitive and boring, but that didn't mean the solution was a divorce. Dr. Mitchell tells his wife that repetition, as Kierkegaard has said, should be something treated as valuable and essential, that the repetition in their marriage should be treasured and enjoyed, because not many people have what they have. Her mother, a senior nurse at Barden General, had grown tired of this very same self-importance and pretention Dr. Mitchell exuded, had refused to listen to anything, even when her father had pleaded with her not to go through with the divorce, for Beca's sake. No one had asked then what Beca had thought of the whole debacle.

Maybe this is what Jesse had meant - repetition. She hadn't seen it of course. She was quite comfortable with the set-up, had found it very convenient, in fact. She liked the repetition, _welcomed_ the repetition, the domesticity of it all. In fact, wasn't that what marriage was all about in the first place anyway? Mindless repetition? The longer the relationship, the more repetition. The longer the relationship, the deeper you know each other, from your thoughts, to your habits, to your preferences: who sleeps on which side of the bed, who wakes up first, who likes what drink, who likes what food…you speak less and less, become attuned to each other, read each other's minds, complete each other's sentences. Synchronicity. Like an orchestra playing a symphony that you've known the melody to for the longest time. It's not that that they have nothing to say to each other, but that nothing needs to be said any longer. Marriage meant they just didn't need to carry it out, they just needed to _be_.

Or so, Beca thought.

Chloe breaks her train of thought by saying, "So…Cynthia Rose and Denise, huh?"

Beca comes back to the present and nods. "Yeah, who would've thunk it?" She takes a sip of her wine. She sees that Chloe's wineglass is in need of a refill and she offers to refill it.

Chloe smiles her thanks as Beca pours more wine in her glass. As Chloe takes a sip, she comments, "Yeah. I'd never in a million years think those two would finally decide to get hitched."

Beca smiles back. "Yeah, _finally_."

They both fall silent again.

Then Chloe speaks up again.

"Where were you earlier?" Chloe asks. "I was looking for you and you kind of…suddenly disappeared."

Beca shrugs. "Yeah, I wasn't feeling too well. So I decided to call it a day."

Chloe nods in understanding. "I heard you pulled an all-nighter with the drinking," Chloe says now with a smile. "In fact, I think I may have heard some reference to some mild substance abuse."

Beca blushes. "_Not_ our best moment, must say."

Chloe laughs. "It's fine. In some cultures, some substances are believed to have some properties to…you know, free your mind and achieve…oneness with the universe. Not to mention, you know, the medicinal properties and stuff."

Beca smirks and smiles. "And where exactly did you learn that?"

Chloe shrugs. "Just…around…"

Beca raises her eyebrows. "And where exactly is…_around_?"

Chloe smiles enigmatically, her blue eyes dancing with mirth and mischief. She takes a sip of her wine and starts to talk.

So, in between sips of wine, Chloe tells her where's she's been.

* * *

Kenya. India. Nepal. China. The Czech Republic. France. England. Italy.

She shows Beca pictures of herself on her Samsung tablet, pictures of _matatus_ in Kenya, giraffes in Nairobi, buffalos and rhinos in national parks, a photo of herself in front of Mt. Kilimanjaro, photos of herself with _Massai_ warriors (she says she is very popular with the warriors, they call her the little red-haired white warrior), a photo of herself with a _Kikuyu_ woman, photos of herself with traditional Kenyan clothes, photos of herself with Kenyan children, a photo of herself teaching in a Kenyan classroom, photos of herself with other Peace Corps volunteers, most of them younger than her, a few her age, and a couple gray-haired and bespectacled, all smiling and squinting at the camera and waving, a Peace Corps sign behind them. Another folder in her tablet shows photos of herself in front of the _Taj Mahal_, its walkways, the reflecting pools, photos of the dome, minarets, the calligraphy on the pavement. Chloe says it's a monument to grief, but she finds it a romantic monument to grief. There is a photo of herself in front of temples, a photo of herself on an elephant, a photo of herself with henna tattoos on her hands, photos of herself in royal blue and sky blue _saris_, the blue bringing out the blue of her eyes, in contrast with the red of her hair, a ball of flame against her _sari_, a photo of herself celebrating Diwali with local friends she's made. Beca finds her photos, especially of her in a sari, in costume, incredibly beautiful, but she doesn't say so. She feels embarrassed by this errant thought, but she's always found Chloe impossibly, effortlessly gorgeous. She feels the urge to keep a few of those photos for herself, and vows to check her facebook when she has the chance - hoping that Chloe had posted those photos online. When they get to the end of the folder, Beca asks her why her photos of India are few, and Chloe says she and her friend had to abandon other travel plans of travelling around India after a travel advisory from the American Embassy had advised them against doing so. There are photos of herself in Nepal as well, in Kathmandu, and photos of the Himalayas. Chloe says she would have loved to climb Mt. Everest, but they would have needed at least a hundred thousand dollars to climb the mountain, and that didn't seem worth it. Still another folder shows photos of herself in China, photos of herself in front of the Great Wall of China, the ancient architecture set against the backdrop of a blue, blue sky, Chloe a smiling figure in the picture. There are pictures of herself in the Forbidden City, pictures of herself in Shanghai, and Beijing, pictures of herself on the streets, in front of stalls selling street food, various landscape photos of sun and mountain and blue sky. In each photo, Chloe is smiling, blue eyes dancing with trademark joy and enthusiasm, and Beca can't help but smile herself. The photos change, become more somber. She sees photos of Chloe in Europe, in what she can guess are autumn and winter, because Chloe is in heavy coats and scarves and mittens, struggling to smile in the cold, in front of unfamiliar buildings, cobbled streets in Prague, but then she recognizes more familiar landmarks when they come to Paris and London. Beca recognizes the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the Notre Dame Cathedral, the Arc de Triomphe. She recognizes Buckingham Palace, Tower Hill, Tower Bridge, London Bridge, Leicester Square, Trafalgar Square, London Eye. She recognizes the Coliseum, a picture of herself against the backdrop of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, although when she comes across an empty, bright, sunny field of gold and green, Chloe has to explain that it is Tuscany, that she's always wanted to go there, and hadn't particularly cared for Milan at all.

Once Chloe is done showing her pictures, Beca blinks, looks up at Chloe, in awe, amazed, before she says now, a bit tipsy on wine, "Wow, just…_wow_… you've been all over the world." She stares down again, looks at the photos, saying dejectedly, "While I've just been here…"

Chloe smiles and says, "Well, _not_ all over the world. I just spent like a year or so with the Peace Corps in Kenya, worked there for a while, saved some money, spent a few months in Nepal, and did some travelling after. The other places were just places I wanted to see before I go home Stateside." Then she adds, "Just because you've just been here doesn't mean you haven't had a journey too."

Beca looks up and only smiles. "Thanks." She looks at the photos again and says, "This must have cost a fortune."

Chloe shrugs. "Not really. Well, a bit. After I volunteered in Africa, I found a job there so I was able to save a bit of money, then after my contract was done, I just travelled a bit more."

Beca nods. "God, I'm so jealous."

Chloe shrugs, runs a hand on her red hair. "It wasn't all that romantic or anything. I kind of shamelessly crashed with other Peace Corps volunteers, and other people I knew. Sometimes I kind of went for days without food, because I had to save money, you know?"

"And how's work now?"

Chloe gives her another shrug. "Dunno, really. I've been back Stateside for a while now, but…sometimes it's still hard. I can't really quite wrap my head around the kind of excess living people do here, after all the stuff I've seen…"

"What do you do again?"

"H.R.," Chloe answers now. "You know I majored in management, same as Aubrey. I work for this company as an HR consultant and risk analysis and efficiency expert and stuff. I travel around the country providing HR consultancy services and I do motivational speaking on the side. It's all very boring, really." Chloe smiles.

Beca smiles back. Chloe working in Human Resource makes sense, of course. Chloe's niceness and diplomatic skills come in handy for human resource management. Aubrey working in management makes even more sense, since Aubrey always needs to be in control, all the time. She doesn't understand why, but seeing Chloe smile makes her a bit shy all of a sudden and she looks down on the table. Then she looks up again. "It's good though? You like it?" Beca asks.

Chloe shrugs. "Yeah. I'm never in one place at any time. I live in hotel rooms and airports really. I live for my frequent flyer miles. I don't even really have, like, my own apartment and stuff. When I'm in New York, I just crash at Aubrey's, when I'm somewhere else, I crash at their place, or check in at a local hotel, whatever. But I don't know. I'm looking to see if I can get a place somewhere permanent now. I'm checking out the scene here. See if it's my scene. Don't know if I'm going to like it here. This place feels surreal…but we'll see..." Chloe now looks at Beca intently, blue gaze bore into Beca's eyes. It's the one thing that makes Beca a bit uncomfortable when she's around Chloe. When Chloe looks at her, it feels sometimes like Chloe is looking right into her soul, making it impossible for Beca to concoct lies about anything. Chloe says, "But enough about me. How's work?"

Beca sighs, refuses to look at Chloe as she looks down at her hands, fidgeting with them. After Chloe has shown her pictures of her life, Beca feels like her life is insignificant by comparison. "Oh, you know, it's great. Great hours, great pay, the people are great to work with…"

Beca looks up now and she sees Chloe looking at her and for a few second their eyes meet, Chloe's blue gaze piercing Beca's brown ones and Beca blushes. Chloe suddenly says, "Oh my god, you hate your job."

Beca tries to deny it, sighs, and in resignation, says, "Yes, god, I hate it! I really fucking hate it. I mean, god, it's just tones, you know. _Tones_. And chord progressions. And shit like that. None of it is mine. It's all derivative. I get it from other artists, re-arrange it, and pass it off as my own."

Chloe smiles, is surprisingly conciliatory and gentle as she says, "But you have the best mixes. You make stuff better. You made the Bellas, _us_, better. And you have, like, the nicest voice of anyone I've known. I can still remember the mixes you did for the Bellas…"

Beca sighs again, pauses, before she says, "Yeah…Thanks. But you don't need to say that. But…yeah…" She takes a deep breath now. "It's just…I think I've hit a brick wall or something. Everything's beginning to sound the same. It sounds exactly like the billion and one songs I hear on the radio. Like the riff in one song that's the same riff in a hundred other songs and each one is about the same thing too. I feel like it's all crap somehow. Like the music lacks heart and soul or something. Like it's all pointless…" Chloe is silent and she's afraid Chloe is a bit put off by her rant, but she looks up and Chloe is just listening to her, no judgment in her eyes or expression.

Suddenly, her phone buzzes and she checks it and it's four in the morning, and she says, "Oh, god, it's morning."

Chloe starts to yawn now. "Is it? I hadn't noticed."

Beca smiles. "Well, we talked all night."

Chloe nods. "We had a lot to catch up on." She glances at her watch. "I guess I've got to go."

Beca only smiles and shakes her head. "Stay. I've got a guest bedroom. Clean sheets. The works. You can totally catch a few zzz's before you head out if you want."

Chloe smiles. "Yeah? You sure? Don't want to intrude on you any longer than I should." When Beca only smiles and nods, Chloe's grin grows wider. "Aca-awesome! I'm so sleepy I don't think I can keep my eyes open now even if I tried. Thanks, Beca."

"Ugh, I haven't heard aca-anything in a while," Beca says sarcastically, yawning. "You are such a nerd."

Chloe laughs and Beca grins.

As the two finish up in the kitchen and Beca leads the way to the guest bedroom, they find that the room is actually not unoccupied. Fat Amy is fast asleep on the bed, sprawled and snoring, mouth wide open, breath even and steady. She seems to have found her way into the guest bedroom while the two had been chatting in the kitchen.

Chloe sighs. "Well, I guess I'm taking the couch."

Beca shakes her head. "No, you're not. You can take my bed. I'll take the couch."

Chloe rolls her eyes. "Don't be silly. It's your house. I'll take the couch. It looks comfortable enough."

Beca, "No, take the bed, I insist."

Chloe says, "Well, I'll take the bed, but only if you agree to sleep with me."

When Beca hesitates, Chloe rolls her eyes, "Not like _that_. I mean, sleep-sleep, duh. I just couldn't live with myself if you have to sleep on the couch when there's a perfectly comfortable bed we can share."

A brief argument ensues, in which Beca finds herself agreeing to Chloe, something that always happens between them, even when they were both in college.

* * *

And that is how Beca ends up sleeping on the same bed as Chloe. There is a brief awkward moment while Chloe is getting ready for bed when Beca had gone to get some extra sheets and pillows from down the hallway and when she comes back, she sees a naked Chloe, stripping to her underwear, and is putting on the shirt and pants Beca has lent her, clothes which are a size or so smaller. There is a brief moment when Beca hesitates by the doorway, not knowing whether she should turn around and give Chloe some time to change, or she should just play it cool and pretend like nothing's happened. But Chloe turns at about the same time Beca enters and Chloe only grins, the familiar twinkle in her eye and smile on her lips easing Beca's discomfort.

"Hey, perv," Chloe says now, putting on the pants.

Beca hesitates before she says, "I see you're still comfortable with all…_that_."

Chloe only grins as she puts on the shirt and slides into the bed, patting the empty space beside her and grinning even more at Beca. Beca can feel herself blushing unnecessarily in the half-darkness.

They haven't actually shared a bed since Barden, when Chloe had spent a semester of graduate school studying for her MBA before she decides to drop out and move to New York, moving in with Aubrey before she decides to go volunteer with the Peace Corps.

At first, Beca feels awkward sleeping beside Chloe. They haven't seen each other since Chloe's senior year and graduate school days, and though they've just spent most of the early morning catching up with each other, she's worried that there will still be some residual awkwardness. But it does feel like old times, and they start to joke and banter like they used to do at Barden. And Chloe - well, Chloe is still confident and comfortable with herself. Actually even more so than she did in college. Chloe lies on Beca's right, which has always been Chloe's favored side, facing Beca. Chloe is so close that she can smell Chloe's scent, can smell toothpaste, mouthwash and wine, and something sweet, something fruity, the faint sweet scent of shampoo and soap on her, as she sidles to Beca. Chloe has never been one for personal boundaries, and as she lies beside Beca, who is lying on her back, staring at her ceiling, watching shadows on it, Chloe is silent, breathing light. Beca thinks Chloe may have fallen asleep, and she turns, and collides with Chloe, who is just looking at her, their foreheads bumping into each other, and Chloe says, "Ow!" before she giggles and puts a hand on her forehead. Beca murmurs "I'm sorry", as her own hand goes to Chloe's forehead, finds her hand resting on Chloe's own hand. Beca is only a little tipsy, and even that is wearing off, and it takes her only a moment to realize she's touching Chloe, and there's a second when it still feels innocuous, but she finds her touch lingering and Chloe looks at her, piercing blue eyes in the early dawn semi-darkness, and Beca finds herself mesmerized, finds her thumb slowly rubbing the back of Chloe's hand and there is a warmth that spreads at the pit of her stomach, a warmth she hasn't felt in a while, perhaps not even with Jesse, and she grows afraid, knowing it's too soon, knowing already, even before feelings get in the way, that she cannot really afford to entertain any of this as more than what it is - two friends who haven't seen each other in ages, who have missed each other, who are just catching up with each other. She slowly pulls her hand away.

"Beca, are you sleepy?" If Chloe notices her discomfort she doesn't let on as she whispers it. Obviously Beca is still very much awake, and Beca rolls her eyes, smirks, and says, "Yes."

Chloe laughs. "I can't sleep."

"That's 'cause you're still _talking_. Go to sleep, nerd. I'm tired."

Chloe nods. Then after a beat, she says, "Sing me a lullaby."

Beca pulls her head back, raises an eyebrow, then asks, "What? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Chloe chuckles. "Ah, I have missed your very colorful language, Miss Mitchell."

"Glad to be of service, Miss Beale."

"Okay, but sing me a lullaby."

"Are you twelve? Count some freaking sheep or something."

Chloe only shakes her head and laughs. Because Beca is silent, Chloe starts to hum. Beca recognizes it as Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" - because of course it's the one song Chloe would sing.

Beca is silent. "I don't know any."

Chloe is silent. Beca thinks she is disappointed, so she quickly says, "I'm sorry. I don't do lullabies."

Chloe nods, not saying anything.

"I mean, you know…lullabies…ugh…"

Chloe says, "Come on, sing me a lullaby."

Beca is adamant, refusing to acquiesce to Chloe's request, but she finds herself singing "Titanium", which makes Chloe laugh.

"I'm sorry, it's been playing in my head for the longest time," Beca says now.

"Is it your lady jam, too?" Chloe teases her now. "Slow year, Miss Mitchell?"

Beca blushes again and says, defensively, "_No._"

Chloe only laughs.

Beca pretends to be annoyed as she huffs, "Fine, _you_ sing me a song."

Chloe positively chuckles as she says, "I thought you didn't do lullabies."

Beca shrugs. "I do now."

"Weirdo," Chloe says. There is a silence, before Chloe starts to sing,

"_Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinin'  
Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her tryin'  
She's so beautiful  
And I tell her everyday…"_

As Beca begins to roll her eyes, Chloe only grins some more as she says,

"_Yeah, I know, I know when I compliment her, she won't believe me  
And it's so, it's so sad to think that she don't see what I see  
But every time she asks me do I look okay? I say…"_

Then Chloe stops and says, "I forgot the rest of the song…What's the chorus again…?"

"Ugh, you're the weirdo," Beca jokes now, as she starts to sing,

"_When I see your face  
There's not a thing that I would change  
'Cause you're amazing  
Just the way you are…"_

Then Chloe joins her and they both start to sing,

"_And when you smile  
The whole world stops and stares for awhile  
'Cause girl, you're amazing  
Just the way you are…"_

They both stop singing and just lie in silence for a while, the melody fading into the half-darkness of early dawn, echoing memories of those long gone days at Barden when they used to sing the same song with the other Barden Bellas. Beca smiles at the thought. She thinks she sees Chloe smile as well.

Then Chloe says, so softly that at first Beca thinks she dreamed it, "Are you okay? How are you holding up?"

Beca is silent. Chloe puts out her hand, and surprises Beca by tucking a stray strand of hair on the back of Beca's ear, before running a finger on Beca's cheek. Because it is so unexpected, Beca finds her breath hitching, like something, she doesn't know what, has plunged down her stomach, finds that she cannot breathe, feels like time slows down and speeds up again and her heart starts to beat fast. Chloe hears the barely audible sound, hesitates, but she's still tipsy and so she continues to gently stroke Beca's cheek.

"I'm so sorry," Chloe whispers now.

Beca swallows. "For what?"

"For everything," Chloe says now, moving her head so close to Beca. "For what's happened between you and Jesse. I don't think anything I say will make you feel better but…"

Beca feels it, a bit of irritation, because in truth, she doesn't really want people to be sorry for her, she doesn't want their pity, she doesn't want the looks on their faces, and she wants to brush Chloe's finger away from her face, but Chloe's whole hand is on Beca's face now, cups her face in her hand, and the hand goes to Beca's neck, rubbing her neck in slow, gentle strokes, soothing, calming Beca, making the irritation fade, replacing it with a warmth that she hasn't felt in a while.

"Chloe…" Beca whispers, wanting Chloe to stop.

Chloe doesn't take the hint though, moving closer to Beca, instead, body so close Beca can feel the warmth of Chloe's body, can feel her breath against her cheek.

"You never called or emailed," Chloe whispers now, more like an accusation, an ignored friend pouting, sulking, disappointed the person she considers one of her best friends would not even keep in touch with her.

Beca doesn't know what to say. She settles for, "You never called or emailed either…"

Chloe is silent. When she doesn't offer any explanation, Beca says, "And I was kind of…busy…"

"I was kind of busy, too," Chloe responds now, in a tone that suggests she is ready to argue this point if Beca insisted.

But Beca doesn't, so instead, Chloe says, "You miss him?"

Beca doesn't know how to answer that. She and Jesse had more than a decade together. Years of a steady relationship, a long engagement, a wedding and a marriage that had barely settled before the divorce that she never saw coming had loomed in the horizon. So, yes, this isn't even a question. She misses Jesse. She really does. Whether she misses his companionship or presence or just the normality of having someone around all the time, is another thing altogether. She stops, wondering why she would even think to qualify why she misses him in the first place. She nods, barely, at Chloe.

She doesn't know if Chloe sees her assent and she's too tired and too tipsy and too sleepy to say anything out loud, but Chloe comes even nearer, then says, "Hey, you're cold. C'mere." And before Beca could protest, Chloe has draped an arm over Beca's waist, and has pulled Beca impossibly closer to herself, Beca's body molding itself so perfectly to Chloe's. There's a moment where Beca's body tenses up, and she feels awkward, not knowing where to put her hands as Chloe rests her chin on Beca's head. And Beca just lies there, not knowing what to do, before her body relaxes and Beca adjusts herself so she is resting somewhere in the crook of Chloe's neck, and chest, so close that she can actually hear Chloe's heart beat beneath her chest. She can feel Chloe's warm hand against her back. They grow still for a few moments, quiet but for their breathing and the sounds of early morning outside, and then Chloe starts to rub Beca's back, starts to trace circles and figure eights on her back, from the top of her spine, down to the small of her back, then across from one side of her waist to the other, before her hand rests again on Beca's back and she hugs Beca so closely, so tenderly Beca feels like Chloe is afraid she might lose her. Beca is silent, her heart beating fast and wild and she doesn't know how to respond, but for some reason, she feels her own body relax, feels peaceful, feels this feeling of bliss that she hasn't felt in a while, realizes she's never had anyone touch her like that before, the touch so intimate she feels its intensity deep within her soul, tender and sweet and all so very Chloe she swallows, not knowing what to say and she feels like she must say something, to break the awkwardness, but then she feels Chloe's body grow heavy, slack, her breathing grow even, her grip on Beca loosen and Beca realizes Chloe has fallen asleep.

The tenderness of Chloe's touch. It is the one thing that Beca has not forgotten.

It takes her back to another time, back in college, when she and Chloe had moved in together her second semester in college, because Beca had had enough of roommates and Kimmy Jin and Chloe had wanted to stay on for graduate school, planning to work on her MBA. That arrangement though was only to last one semester, before Chloe decides to leave Barden and her roommate for the Peace Corps and Africa. Everyone is surprised. Neither Beca nor Chloe take the time to explain why Chloe suddenly leaves.

* * *

It was another drunken night, a weekend, Beca remembers, that starts out like any other ordinary weekend and Beca had found herself taking a very drunk Chloe home.

And then, as now, Beca and Chloe had found themselves inexplicably sharing a bed, even though Chloe had her own bed, and Beca had her own, and there is enough space anywhere else in the apartment that they need not share a bed.

And she hadn't known how it started, it starts innocently enough, with giggles and teasing and jokes that gradually turn into something more serious, Beca starting to drunkenly think about her future outside of Barden, her fears about L.A., her difficulties with her father, her struggles at Barden, and Chloe starts to do the same, telling her honestly and unequivocally how she'd actually gone to graduate school as an excuse to stay in school longer, delay real life a bit longer, delay leaving her comfort zone a bit longer, how she's actually afraid to set foot outside the gates of Barden, afraid companies might think she's either overqualified or underqualified or just not good enough to work for them, afraid she might fail, and gradually they trade advice, suggestions, until the fears and doubts are soothed, and the uncertainty gradually fades away, to be brought up at a later date, as talks between Chloe and Beca inevitably do, one of those things that Beca has missed now, because above everything else, Chloe has turned out to be one of her closest friends and the one thing she has come to look forward to was going home to their apartment to talk about all the mundane things that's happened to her during the day. She couldn't wait, in fact, to tell Chloe how her day went. That night, as the conversation dies down between them, they grow silent, just staring at each other, in the half-darkness, in the dim light of street lights outside and dim table lamp by the side table that Beca keeps turned on at night so she can go to sleep. And Chloe, never one to put stock on personal boundaries and public displays of affection, suddenly holds Beca's face, then with the other hand, grabs Beca's hand and she looks, really looks, at Beca, with eyes so deep, so bright, so blue, that it felt, for a moment, like Beca is staring up at a bright, blue sky and she wants to turn away, but Chloe's gaze is piercing and powerful and spoke so many words, even though by that time they weren't speaking at all, but just lay, face to face, side by side, not saying anything. It felt then as it feels now, like Chloe could see right through her, through all the snarkiness and cynicism and darkness and can see the goodness there, and it feels like Chloe is gazing right through her soul, and Beca tries to speak, but Chloe shakes her head, puts a finger to Beca's lips to silence her, and she says, "Beca…" and her voice trails off, as she only looks at Beca for what seems like ages and Beca feels so naked, so exposed and Beca has never thought that it is possible to communicate without saying anything, without words or rhythm or song, but she realizes, that night, as she stares into Chloe's eyes, that everything that needed to be said, everything that ever had to be said, between them, flowed freely, flowed unstoppably, even though all they ever did was look at each other for what seems like hours that stretch on for what seems like forever. They both seemed like they were in a spell, in a trance, suspended in time, and Beca feels it flaring, something different, something powerful, something she feels she isn't actually ready for and there is Jesse and her father and her future before her and she gently extricates her hand from Chloe's and pulls away, and she mutters something about needing water, and she gets off the bed, and drinks some water and never comes back, sleeps on the couch.

They do not speak of it the next day. Or any day after that. And it is never quite the same after.

Before the semester ends, Chloe is out of the apartment, with no proper goodbyes or talk to Beca, her half of the rent tucked on the fridge, as she texts Beca that she is on a train to New York, and will not be coming back. Later she finds out Chloe has dropped out of graduate school, has stayed with Aubrey and that later, she's signed on with Peace Corps, and that she stays on in Africa long after her contract with Peace Corps ends.

* * *

Beca stares up into the darkness, thinking.

As Beca stares into the darkness, extremely aware of Chloe's nearness, all she can think of is Kierkegaard, and suddenly she remembers how, when she had been roommates with Chloe, it felt a bit like a passage from Kierkegaard's book as well. How the longer they stayed in one apartment, the deeper the friendship had been and the deeper they got to know each other, from their thoughts, to habits, to preferences: after all this time, for example, she remembers,_ knows_, which side Chloe prefers to sleep in, knows Chloe wakes up first, knows Chloe likes to drink coffee, knows Chloe likes fast food, junk food, but that no matter how much she consumed, she still had that killer body that she still feels confident with. What she remembers is how they didn't _not_ speak less and less, but in fact, whenever they got home from their respective classes, they would gravitate towards each other and to the kitchen and start talking about how their days went, something that she didn't do with Jesse actually. There was real synchronicity there. Up to that drunken night they had, Beca had thought that she could read Chloe like a book, but something about that night had changed something between them, had changed the tone of their friendship, like a song that had shifted too quickly to a different chord progression, or a different tune, and it felt discordant somehow. And yet, without anything being said between them, she had known then a truth in Chloe's eyes that she knew they wouldn't ever talk about. It had been something that needn't be said, really. At that time, they had both seemed to tacitly agree that there were things better left unsaid.

Before she drops off to sleep, Chloe pulls her even tighter to herself, and she can feel Chloe's fingers mindlessly and absently rubbing her back as she sleeps, before it stops.

Beca falls asleep to Chloe holding her in her arms.

Beca thinks it's not a bad way to end, or even start, the day.

* * *

_**A/N: That's it for this chapter! Thanks for reading and for leaving your kind reviews. **_

_**Kind reviews will be appreciated and will seriously go a long way in continuing this story as well as help ease the stress of work. :) For those who've stuck with me until this chapter, thank you. **_

_**I know I said I was going to take my time building the story between Beca and Chloe, but that didn't mean it was going to take forever. **_**:) **_** I hope this was worth the wait. I'd been dying to get to this part of the story, and wasn't sure if this was the right time for it, but the beta had told me it was, so thanks beta, DragonsWillFly, for the encouragement and as always, everything else.**_

_**Anyway, hope you like! Let me know what you think. **_**:)**

_**Many thanks to authors Anita Shreve, David Lodge and of course, Søren Kierkegaard, for the inspiration for this chapter.**_

_**Songs featured for this chapter:**_

_**"Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars**_

_**"Titanium" by David Guetta**_


	5. A Day With Chloe

Beca wakes up to the insistent buzzing of something on the table by the bed.

The room is dark, the curtains thick and dark, letting only thread-thin shafts of light from outside. She'd invested in thick curtains when she started DJ-ing because she always kept unusual hours. Outside she can hear the familiar, muffled sounds of city life, cars, horns, tires screeching, sirens, voices, laughter and other noises.

Beside her, sleeping soundly, is Chloe. For a moment it feels weird to be sharing this bed and this room now with Chloe, when for years it has been shared with Jesse, but as Chloe moves slightly in her sleep, she quickly forgets all that.

Beca is lying on her left side, Chloe's right arm slung on her waist, holding her as she sleeps snugly behind her, cuddling her. She can feel Chloe's breath on her neck, can feel the warmth of her body pressed against Beca's. In their sleep they have curled into each other. At first, Beca doesn't know what to do, afraid to wake Chloe up by moving away from her, and she quite likes the feel of Chloe holding her close. It is quite comfortable, warm, _secure_ even. Beca actually feels well-rested. She had slept like a baby last night, or this morning, as it were, and she hadn't slept like that in ages.

Beca has never been one for cuddling, one of the things that Jesse finds really peculiar about her, but Chloe, being Chloe, with naturally touchy feely tendencies with everyone, has always been an exception. Sometimes, when they find themselves crashing at a friend's house after a party, during their college days, or when they find the Barden weather too cold, they sleep in one bed, and Chloe has a habit of curling into her when they sleep beside each other. At first Beca had found it odd, but she had grown used to it, and sometimes, when Beca and Jesse had had a fight, or when Beca had had one of those arguments with her father, or classes were just too stressful and aggravating, Chloe was always there, with her smile and her comfort food, offering words of consolation and encouragement and hugs. Feeling her now, behind her makes Beca remember those Barden days.

She gently moves to extricate herself, so as not to wake Chloe up, and Chloe shifts, her hand moving to Beca's waist as Beca's hand moves to get her mobile phone. As she slowly rolls on her back, checking her phone, she finds that it is her father, texting her to remind her of her dinner date with him. She checks the time. It is still morning. She's only had a couple of hours of sleep. _Oh, shit,_ she thinks. Dinner with her father. She makes a face. She actually prefers to be beaten to death with a baseball bat than go to dinner with her father.

She'd been avoiding texting, emailing or calling him, but ignoring him had just made the endless texts, emails and voice mails to grow exponentially the past few weeks, so she had finally agreed to dinner with him. She checks the date and she realizes that that dinner date is tonight, at some swanky restaurant somewhere downtown. Her father is in town for some academic conference or other, she is a little vague on the details and chances are it's yet another of those conferences where all the snobby professors from other prestigious universities gather to deliver esoteric papers published in obscure journals only other professors read, papers that talk grandiosely and very verbosely about philosophy and its place in the modern world, or some such thing. She had forgotten all about it. But she couldn't very well ignore her father forever, even though she's pretty sure her father only wants to meet her to talk about hers and Jesse's marriage.

Beca doesn't really want to talk to her father. The talk will inevitably lead to the divorce and she doesn't want to talk about _that_. Divorce signifies failure. It means you couldn't make it work. It means you're a loser. You couldn't make somebody stay. Nobody wants to be reminded that they are a failure. Nobody wants to be reminded, particularly by their divorced parent, that they have ended up exactly like aforementioned divorced parent, especially when you have actually spent your whole life trying _not_ to turn out exactly like your parents.

She checks the other messages. One is from Jesse's agent, another from his manager, another from his publicist, and another from his lawyer. Most of the messages consist of wanting Beca to return calls or messages, nothing more, and Beca makes a note to reply to them later. She's tolerated Jesse's agent, manager, publicist and lawyer for the longest time, and she's quite glad she never has to deal with them anymore. Jesse is an up-and-coming actor and the trio of agent, manager and publicist are working very, very hard to keep him in the spotlight, help him snag the best roles. Already he's been generating buzz for his performance on an indie film and he has had solid reviews on his performance in the television show, although the show itself has gone downhill since season four, which Jesse has told her is usually the typical life cycle of a high school television show. However, the show has been renewed for a fifth and a sixth season, ensuring that Jesse will have a job for the next couple of years at least, and keeping his commission-based team of sharks employed for that time as well. Either way, Beca does not consider any of them friends, since they work for and with Jesse and live off of his earnings. Beca makes a mental note to sign the divorce papers, since that seems to be what Jesse's lawyer is concerned with. The good thing about Jesse's status now, is the fact that he's not really famous enough that paparazzi are following him around twenty-four seven and reporting on his every move, and he isn't under everyone's scrutiny, but he's generated enough positive buzz for his performance that he can attract the attention of critics, producers and directors and magazine editors looking for the next big thing, so they have been able to keep their relationship and marriage, and now, their divorce under wraps, away from the public eye, being spared the public spectacle of a marriage disintegrating very publicly, their heartbreak not being broadcast as both entertainment and some form of Schadenfreude-esque way of celebrating celebrities' rather ordinary lives outside of the camera. Though she hesitates to call herself a musician, musicians do not fall under the same category as actors and movie or TV stars, and are thus spared the kind of stress fame brings. Though she has her own agent and manager, she's determined to shy away from the limelight, and prefers to stay away from the endless socializing and partying that has become an occupational hazard in her line of work. It means, sometimes, that she misses out on some possibilities that a big name producer might "discover" her work and use it for their own projects, and though she's had some pretty steady gigs over the years, but she is fine with it. Lately, the equipment she has in the other room (the apartment she and Jesse had chosen had been a three bedroom apartment, in Jesse's mistaken idea that it would eventually be converted into a baby room) has remained untouched, except for the occasional mix she needs to do for work, but lately she finds that she just prefers to play the same thing over and over again. She has actually decided to cut down on the work, and since she's been going through a divorce with Jesse, clients have been especially understanding.

Her decision to shy away from the limelight also means that sometimes she doesn't attend premieres and award shows with Jesse, whose modest success in showbiz has made photographers, reporters and bloggers familiar with his work, take interest in taking photos of the actor with other actors as well, harried interview questions, some harmless, some invasive, being shouted into Jesse's ear. Beca has never particularly liked or gotten used to having to stand to one side or try to stay behind Jesse, as what seems like thousands of camera lights explode against them and Jesse is politely and diplomatically answering questions about his movie or television show, or about some gossip or other. She's never felt comfortable feeling like millions of eyes are scrutinizing everything about her, from her hairstyle, her make-up, her clothes, her shoes, whether she's gained weight or not, everything posted, discussed, rated, for everyone to see and comment on, online or in the papers or in the television gossip shows later on. Jesse's publicist and agent, who have a three-step battle plan to make Jesse an "A-Lister" in a few years, have tried to get her in on the game, of helping Jesse project the right "boy-next-door" image to the world, but she finds it all superfluous and ridiculous and while she's acquiesced to some of their demands - wearing the right clothes, or answering interview questions as carefully as possible, she just hasn't taken it as seriously as Jesse's team has.

Chloe stirs beside her now, her hand moving absently to Beca's stomach, thumb rubbing against the skin on her stomach. Beca debates gently removing Chloe's hand from her stomach, but decides she doesn't mind it there, it feels warm and comforting somehow. Beca turns her head, to gaze at the sleeping woman beside her. Chloe sleeps peacefully beside her, red hair framing her face as she sleeps. In the half-darkness of shadow and light, Chloe's skin seems to glow with an inner light and she looks peaceful in sleep as she does in waking. It comes to Beca now that whilst talking to her yesterday and again that morning, Chloe seems to be exuding peace, looking calm and collected, like she has gone and discovered the mysteries of the universe and is now beyond all the mundane preoccupations of mortals like Beca.

Except today though, Beca had been woken up by Chloe whimpering in her sleep, mumbling "Summer" over and over and over again. While they were sleeping, Chloe had shifted in her sleep, her back turned to Beca, and at first Beca had thought she was awake, but then she had realized Chloe was asleep and dreaming. And she had wondered what it was about and had wanted to wake Chloe up, moving close and hesitating at the last second, before she decides to put her arm around Chloe instead and draw her close. Chloe responds to her touch and her hand comes up to hold Beca's arm and the whimpering stops and they both continue to sleep without incident.

As Beca looks at Chloe now, she can barely make out a scar above Chloe's right brow. She slowly lifts a finger to brush strands of red hair away from Chloe's face to get a good look at the scar and realizes that it is new. It is sitting above the old one, faded and barely noticeable, a childhood scar Chloe got from some mischief or other she had done when she was young. When Chloe shifts now, lies on her back, and throws her left arm on her eyes, Beca sees another scar in the half-darkness, this one fine and long and starts a few inches from her elbow and ends at some point on her wrist. Beca is fairly certain she hasn't seen this scar before either, and thinks this is new as well.

The dinner isn't until later in the evening, and she still feels sleepy. She hasn't been sleeping well the past few days anyway, so she drops off to sleep again.

* * *

When Beca wakes up next, she hears her mobile phone ringing again, chiming, loud and insistent, shattering the quiet of the room.

The other side of the bed, Chloe's side, is empty, and she wonders briefly where the other woman is, whether she's already left, a habit that she does have sometimes, especially in relation to Beca.

She groggily grabs her phone and finds that it is her father, again, reminding her of their dinner date tonight. She rolls her eyes and gets up, deciding she needs some coffee before she even has to reply to her father's message. Or maybe wine, she thinks.

Her phone indicates that it is late morning, which, for some strange reason, she finds annoying, as she wants to really catch up on sleep. She finds though that she can't go back to sleep anyway. She doesn't know why, but her body seems to be buzzing with energy, despite the fact that she has barely slept for the past few days and can't seem to wait to get out of bed.

She doesn't stop to think why she would feel this way after feeling so down the past few weeks.

It is however, not an unwelcome feeling.

* * *

She finds Chloe in the living room, back to her, sitting cross-legged on the floor, still, barely moving, hands on either knee, eyes closed.

Looking at Chloe in her living room, sitting on the floor, bathed with light streaming through the curtained front windows, makes Beca feel something she cannot put a name to. Maybe it's Chloe's stillness, maybe it's the perfect peace she radiates with every fiber of her being, maybe it's the way the light of the sun seems to make her skin shine, seems to make her even more beautiful, but Beca finds her breath catching, makes her feel breathless, and then there's this confusion that she feels, because it's a feeling that she hasn't felt in a while, this fascination, this nervous excitement, this promise of possibilities, like something is about to happen, like she's standing on the edge of a precipice, about to fall.

Chloe looks like she belongs in this living room. Like she belongs in Beca's bedroom. Like she belongs in this house. Beca is amazed at how easily Chloe can ease into surroundings, taking them, owning them, making them her own. It's part of Chloe's charisma that even this house, chosen by Jesse, and designed by someone chosen by Jesse, with its slightly art nouveau slash avant garde slash pop art look, with the framed pretentious Andy Warhol-esque designs on the white walls, the trendy leather couch, the equally trendy space-age, sci-fi furniture, the annoying lava lamp Jesse insisted they buy, the large windows with the billowing curtains, now looks a bit better with Chloe in it.

As she stands there, uncertain, indecisive, staring at Chloe, Beca bites her lower lip in bewilderment, suddenly confused, suddenly feeling a tendril of anxiety rise up within her.

Beca debates whether to disturb Chloe or not. Clearly she is doing some form of meditation of sorts and Beca doesn't want to disrupt her. _This is new_, Beca thinks. Beca doesn't remember Chloe doing meditation when they were at Barden and were roommates. She's surprised now that Chloe does meditation.

The decision to disrupt Chloe's meditation is made for her though when Chloe's phone, buzzes beside her.

Chloe's eyes fly open and she gropes for her phone on the couch. She answers the phone with a "Hello?" and as she starts to stretch, she says, "Oh, hey, gran, what's up?"

As she listens to the person on the other line, she seems to have realized that she is being watched, because she turns around, looks at Beca and smiles as she mouths a "Good morning" to Beca.

Beca nods, smiles, feeling suddenly shy and awkward in front of Chloe. Chloe gets up as well in one fluid movement as she chats on her phone.

"No, gran…It's okay…" Chloe says now, mouthing an "I'm sorry" to Beca as she does so. "I'm in L.A. right now…yeah, that wedding I was telling you about…yeah…it was great…yeah…I saw some old friends and stuff. Yeah, we partied all night….I just woke up actually…How are you?" She stops, listens on the other line, before she answers and says, "Yes, I know, gran…but I've been busy…yeah…I'll try…facebook? Yeah, I saw your new photos on facebook, gran…I think those photos were a bit…racy…don't you think so? They make me feel dirty just thinking about it…Yes, gran, you're hot…for a ninety year old…Just kidding, gran…"

Beca smiles, listening to Chloe talk to someone she assumes to be Chloe's grandmother. As Chloe starts to give her grandmother instructions on how to connect the computer to the printer and to the internet, Beca indicates that she's just going to the kitchen, to get some coffee and to check on Amy. Chloe nods and indicates that she will follow.

A few minutes later, Chloe comes out to the kitchen, where Beca is drinking some coffee, holding a note in her hand written in Amy's hand writing, thanking Beca for letting her crash and that she has just gone out to do something but will come back soon. Soon though, in Amy's case, could be anywhere from now to tomorrow or next week, so Beca only shakes her head at the note and moves to text Amy where the spare key is. Moments later, Amy replies through text as well. Beca remembers she has to reply to Jesse's army of Hollywood sharks, and she quickly and deftly replies to each one, telling them that she is busy but if it's urgent she can make time for whatever it is that they need to talk about with her.

Chloe briefly looks around before she turns back to texting and Beca can't help but feel conscious about how the kitchen looks as well, which is as minimalist as everything else is, clean and antiseptic looking, like it's a place barely lived in, like the residents barely live there. Jesse spends most of his time on shoots, and is usually ensconced in an apartment or hotel somewhere, and the television show he is doing now means he is away most of the time, and when the show is on hiatus he is off doing a summer movie or two and doing the promotional rounds of press junkets. Beca herself, prior to taking a break, is usually too tired to cook or do much of anything really, preferring take out or eating out to staying in and cooking.

Chloe now says, "Sorry about that, had to take the call, my gran can be a handful sometimes…"

"That's fine," Beca says. "Coffee?"

Chloe shakes her head. "Tea, please, if you have it."

Beca tilts her head, surprised yet again. Chloe has always been a coffee drinker. Tea was more Amy's thing, she knows. Since when has Chloe been a tea drinker? Luckily Beca has a box of Lipton tea. She wasn't a tea drinker herself, but finds it handy for the occasional, very random visitor who prefers it.

Before she can ask Chloe about her sudden interest in tea, Chloe's phone rings again and there is a moment when Chloe knits her brows, curious, before she answers the phone, her voice neutral as she says, "What's up?" She pauses as she listens to the person on the other line. "I'm in L.A…" She stops again, her face expressionless as she says, "I'm good, you?...Yeah, hanging out with some friends now. You…? That's nice…Listen, I'm kind of busy right now. Can I call you back? Yeah. Take care."

Beca patiently waits as she goes to the cupboard, takes out a cup, boils hot water, whilst trying not to overhear the conversation between Chloe and the caller on the other end of the line. She catches a name, Bradley, and it makes her a bit curious, but she doesn't let on, not wanting Chloe to think she's eavesdropping on her phone conversation. She tries to gauge Chloe's relationship to the caller, but Chloe's voice is neutral, polite, but familiar, so Beca can't decide whether this is just a friend, or a boyfriend, or an ex or a brother or something. And what, or _who_ is Summer, exactly? She is tempted to ask Chloe about this one as well, but finds she cannot. It occurs to Beca that she cannot remember whether Chloe has brothers or sisters or whether her parents are alive or not, or still together or not. Had Chloe mentioned it once and she'd heard it and forgotten it? Or had she never heard it at all in the first place? Chloe looks like the kind of person who had the picture perfect childhood, the picture perfect family. She's always exuded a well-rounded persona and Beca wouldn't be surprised if Chloe's family has some two-story, suburban house in the suburbs with a picket fence and a dog and a well-kept manicured lawn and backyard where the Beale family held annual barbecues during Fourth of July celebrations.

Chloe interrupts her thoughts when she turns the phone off and she smiles at Beca. "So sorry about that, too."

Beca shakes her head, says, "That's fine."

Chloe asks, "What are you doing today?"

Beca shrugs. "Nothing."

"Don't you have work?"

Beca only smiles and says, "Taking a break. What are _you_ doing today?"

Chloe only shakes her head as she checks her messages. "Nothing, really. Taking a break from work, too. I'm actually pretty serious about wanting to check L.A. out. Going back tomorrow-ish…" When she is done checking her messages she looks up and says, "Why?"

Beca shrugs before she says, "Do you want to go to dinner with me?"

* * *

Dinner, in this instance, is dinner with Beca's father, Dr. Mitchell, which Beca thinks she cannot really survive alone, so she's managed to drag Chloe to the sordid affair.

Beca successfully makes Chloe agree to come with her, but since they have at least a few more hours to kill, Beca decides to show Chloe around her city, since by Chloe's own admission she's looking to see if L.A. is a place she could settle down in. Now is as good a time as any to go around the city, Beca reasons to Chloe. Chloe doesn't argue that point.

Chloe remembers she still has her stuff at the hotel she has checked herself in, so they drive to the hotel first, have her check out and after they've put her small black luggage in the trunk and her laptop in the back, Beca turns to Chloe as she starts the car and asks, as the car purrs to life "So where to now?"

Chloe shrugs. "I don't know. Just show me what's cool and happening here."

As Beca steers the car out of the garage and into the street and out on the main road, Beca snorts. "There's really nothing to see here, to be honest."

Chloe shrugs. "It's my last day. I'm going home tomorrow. Show me around anyway."

Chloe leans over, looks to Beca for permission as her hand hovers over Beca's car stereo. When Beca nods and says, "Sure, go ahead", Chloe turns on the car stereo, and fiddles with the dial, searching for a decent radio station that, judging by how impatient Chloe seems at the sound of voices, doesn't talk too much. For a while, there is only static and random voices filling the inside of the car with sound, before Chloe happens on a station with a male DJ's voice that's soothing and not at all annoying. As the voice introduces the next song and the first strains of Ronan Keating's "When You Say Nothing At All" start to play, Chloe leans back on her car seat with satisfaction, as Beca looks at her from the corner of her eye.

"_It's amazing how you can speak right from the heart…_" Ronan starts to sing.

"You can't be serious," Beca says now.

Chloe chuckles. "It's a nice song."

"It's a cheesy song," Beca says.

"_Without saying a word, you can light up the dark…_"

"Scratch that," Beca says now, as she comes to a stop on an intersection in downtown L.A. "It's an awful song."

"_Try as I might, I can never explain._

_What I feel when you don't say a thing…"_

Chloe only grins, nodding her head to the song, as Beca says, "It's a _terrible_ song."

Chloe only rolls her eyes, shrugs and starts to sing along,

"_The smile on your face, let's me know that you need me…_

_There's a truth in your eyes knowing you'll never leave me…_

_The touch of your hand tells me you'll catch me whenever I fall…"_

Then Chloe looks at Beca now and sings, "_You say it best, when you say nothing at all…_"

"Oh, god this is going to be a long day," Beca mutters.

Chloe chuckles as she continues to sing along to the song.

When the light changes, Beca starts the car again, cruising down the road with Chloe singing to Ronan Keating's song.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Beca has driven Chloe through downtown L.A., indicating which ones are important buildings or landmarks, which Chloe looks at and politely nods in acknowledgement. Beca thinks Chloe is a bit unimpressed with the city, and may perhaps be bored with L.A.

"I'm sorry. It's just buildings, traffic, lots of people and smog. You're right, there's really nothing to see here," Beca says apologetically now as they stop at a traffic light. And she finds this is true. L.A. isn't nearly as charming as New York or as cool, but it has its own charm.

Chloe only shrugs. "It's fine."

When they pass by a street with a group of bald people in white robes dancing around with gongs, Beca says, "Wow, look at those people, they're so _weird_."

Chloe only smiles. Chloe says, "Yeah, but it looks like fun."

Beca looks at her out from the corner of her eye. "But look at them. That's so embarrassing!"

"Yeah, but they're being in the _moment_," Chloe says now. "They're _happy_."

Beca only rolls her eyes. "Do you want to go to dinner now?" Beca asks.

Chloe nods. "Sure. But there is one thing I'd like to see."

"What's that?"

Chloe looks at her with that trademark mischievous twinkle in her eye that Beca has come to know so well.

"Oh, god, whatever you're thinking, it's going to get me into trouble, isn't it?" Beca says.

Chloe only grins.

* * *

An hour later, they are driving through Los Feliz Boulevard, up Vermont Canyon road, past the Greek Theater, and through the tunnel. Beca stays to the right, which is Mt. Hollywood Drive. When they find that the road is closed, that doesn't deter Chloe from insisting that they check it out anyway. They find a large road, which takes them down the paved Mt. Lee Drive, and from there, they make their way up the road. The walk takes a bit long, the dirt road full of horse manure, the road itself dusty and steep, and in a few minutes they are heaving and out of breath from the walk. Beca finds that she is embarrassingly sweaty from the walk as she trudges up the path. She is thankful it is not too hot or humid and that it is only partly sunny, the usually blue sky half-hidden by large, cotton soft clouds. Behind them, Beca can see trees, in between which she can see the buildings and apartment blocks and houses that so define the L.A. landscape. In front of her, she can see the trail and mountain sides, and some people leisurely walking to or from the sign, or jogging or going on horseback. Beca can hear her shoes scrunching against stones as she drags herself grudgingly up the path. A few minutes of walking and she is protesting already.

"I can't believe you talked me into this, Chloe," Beca mutters now. She slips and slides and exclaims, "_Woopsie daisies_!"

Chloe stops right now, panting and says, "Woopsie daisies?"

Beca blushes. "Whatever, dude." Beca stumbles over a rock on the road and she exclaims, "Woopsie daisies!"

Chloe doesn't even try to conceal her mirth as she laughs out loud. "Beca, no one's used that expression since…the 1950s…"

Beca blushes even more. "Yeah, yeah, it's a disease…I'm under medication."

"I mean who even says that anymore?" Chloe says now, eyes twinkling with delight. "And the only one who says that are little old biddies and blonde little Shirley Temple look-alikes skipping down the street on their way to school."

"Shut up," Beca says now, trying to glare at Chloe as Chloe only laughs. Beca concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other, "This is harder than…"

Chloe only smirks at her as she continues to climb up the path. A group of old people pass them by, chattering away happily, followed by a group of high school age kids laughing and shouting as they run right past the two women and Beca says, "Ah, clearly it's not."

"Hurry up!" Chloe asks now, motioning with her head for Beca to follow.

Beca only groans in complaint, so Chloe rolls her eyes, comes up to Beca, grabs her hand and half-drags Beca up the trails to Beca's protests. As they continue up the road, it doesn't escape her attention that Chloe has slipped her fingers into Beca's hand and as they slow down as they reach the top of the road, near where the sign is, Chloe has twined her fingers to Beca's and hasn't let go.

"I am so out of shape," Beca pants now, as she follows Chloe on top of the mountain. She almost loses her footing on the steep path again and exclaims, "Oh, my!"

Chloe grips her hand, to make sure Beca doesn't fall, and starts to laugh again. "Oh, my god, Beca. George Takei called. He wants his expression back."

"Shut _up_!" Beca says now, face red both from exertion and embarrassment.

Chloe only laughs.

After much heaving and exertion, they both find themselves on top of the mountain, near where the Hollywood sign is, which, much to Beca's relief and Chloe's disappointment, is surrounded by an electrified chain-link fence and a large "No Access to Hollywood Sign" signpost in big, bold letters, with threats of arrest and prosecution should visitors insist on doing so. Both women, however, are rewarded with a view of L.A., from the Santa Ana Mountains, downtown, Hollywood, Wilshire Boulevard, Port of Los Angeles, Palos Verdes Peninsula, Santana Catalina Island and the Los Angeles International Airport. The sky above the city is a mix of smog and clouds.

"This is more like it," Chloe says, in between deep breaths, as she takes in the view. She squeezes Beca's hand in excitement before she lets go of her hand.

Beca, panting beside her and doubled over with exhaustion, puts her hands on her knees and panting, says, "Well, glad you like it." Beca straightens up, spreads her arm out and says, expansively, "Welcome to Hollywood, land of dreams. Where dreams come to live or die. Some dreams come true, some don't. But keep on dreaming, this is Hollywood- always time to dream. So keep on dreaming!"

Chloe only smiles and shakes her head. "Thanks for bringing me here."

They are silent for a while, before Beca speaks up. "So." She looks at Chloe from the corner of her eye. "Do you think L.A. is the city for you? Can you see yourself staying here?"

Chloe is quiet, before she shrugs noncommittally, taking in the breathtaking view of L.A. "I don't know."

Beca nods, and says, still catching her breath, "Now can we go back? We have that thing with my dad."

Chloe only smiles, looking out at the view quietly. "Okay. But can we get to the sign itself?"

Beca rolls her eyes. "What is it with you guys and climbing the Hollywood Sign? Besides, that only happens in movies. You have to get a special permit and stuff to climb the sign. You can't get to the sign itself without climbing fences, setting off alarms, possibly getting electrocuted in the process and pretty much getting arrested. I…"

"And you always follow the rules all the time, Beca?" Chloe asks now, a glint of a challenge in her eye.

"I…" Beca says, speechless, before she feels herself blushing. "No. We are not going up the sign. No freaking way, Chloe."

* * *

It takes a very lengthy lecture and seeing actual police officers in uniform and a police car to convince Chloe that climbing the fence and the sign itself is a bad idea.

Once that is out of the way, the two women make their way down the path again that will lead them to Beca's car so they can get to their dinner appointment on time. Chloe's started to hum Alicia Keys' "Girl on Fire", which is playing in her mobile phone, ear phone secure in her ear.

But then, in the middle of their descent from the mountain, Chloe sees the sun set and she stops, excitedly grabs Beca's arm and points to the horizon.

"Hey, check it out," Chloe says, softly, excitedly, as she points to the sunset.

Beca stops, stares at what Chloe is pointing at.

They stand in silence as the sun turns a bright red, then a subdued orange, mixed in with purple and indigo. Chloe absently hooks her arm into Beca's as she watches the sun set. Beca, who's been in LA a few years now, has not actually bothered with the Hollywood Sign or any of the other landmarks or tourist attractions in L.A. Much of it is not to her liking anyway. But she looks at LA now and she finds that viewed from this vantage point, LA can actually pass for a nice city.

She looks over at Chloe, who's fallen silent beside her, one earphone stuck in her ear for the walk down the mountain. As Beca looks at her, the light of the sun shining softly on her, Chloe, with her wavy red hair set aflame by the light, skin aflame in the afternoon light, looks like she's on fire, and Beca thinks she is stunning, beautiful and exquisite by the light of orange dusk. Beca's breath catches, and she forgets the view of the sunset over the horizon, and in fact, is staring at Chloe instead.

The spell is broken when a group of very loud, very noisy tourists interrupt their moment with their very loud chatting and shouting and bantering as they scrunch and half-walk, half-run down the path. The two women step aside to let the group pass and after a few moments, they follow the group down the path and into the parking lot. On their way down, Chloe's hand has surreptitiously slid from Beca's arm to her wrist, and finally to her hand and their hands are intertwined by the time they reach Beca's car. Beca makes a conscious effort to not make a big deal out of it, but when she has to open her side of the car and Chloe lets her hand go to go to the other side of the car, Beca can't help but miss the warmth of Chloe's hand.

She sighs, as she gets and lets Chloe in, randomly wishing, as she starts the car, she could hold Chloe's hand. She is surprised by this random thought.

* * *

If Dr. Mitchell is displeased that Beca has dragged a friend to a family dinner, and that they are unfashionably late, he doesn't let on but only smiles as Beca introduces Chloe to her father. After the sweaty trip to the Hollywood Sign, the two had decided a quick trip back to the house and a quick change of clothes were in order, and though Dr. Mitchell maybe be displeased by them not being on time, Beca thinks that looking fresh and not at all smelling of sweat, dirt and grime, is good. Seeing Chloe, in a red dress, is enough to make Beca think it was worth rushing back home for. Beca stops, trying to focus on what is happening now, rather than on how nice Chloe looks in the dress.

Chloe gamely smiles and shakes Dr. Mitchell's hand, saying, "Dr. Mitchell. I took your philosophy 101 and Literature 101 at Barden…Kierkegaard, right? And something about repetition?"

Dr. Mitchell smiles, clearly pleased that Chloe remembers something about her class with him as they take a seat at the restaurant Dr. Mitchell had reserved for the occasion. The maître d provides them all with the menu and recites the special for the day as Dr. Mitchell, Beca and Chloe listen intently. She leaves them after to give them time to decide on their orders. Beca takes a look around the restaurant, and sees that it is a chic, upscale bistro in downtown L.A. overlooking some palm trees and a fountain. It is shiny and relatively new and serves a fusion cuisine of European and Asian dishes. The inside of the bistro is minimalist in decoration, muted and subdued as people make conversations in hushed tones, the tinkling of jazzy piano music barely audible. Beca can see that most of the customers are wearing suits and she guesses most of them are movie, television or recording executives discussing stories, records, contracts, artists, optioning a story, mergers or perhaps just gossiping about the latest scandal or other involving an actor or actress. She's been here a while, she knows the business. Dr. Mitchell has a particular dislike for L.A., being an academic professor, he finds L.A. a cultural and moral wasteland where creativity goes to die. Judging from the number of remakes, reboots, remixes, and the overall, generic, manufactured look of L.A., she cannot really argue with that at all.

"Existence precedes essence, right?" Chloe continues now, looking at Dr. Mitchell with a smile. "I remember that. Plus Sartre. I remember spending the whole semester finding meaning in Sartre's novels."

Beca rolls her eyes. "Sartre. Ugh. Reading Sartre is like trying to watch puppies find some existential meaning in any of the Jersey Shore episodes."

Chloe smiles at Beca's comment, as Beca continues, "Or, you know, trying to find meaning in a Michael Bay movie."

Dr. Mitchell smiles indulgently at his daughter as Chloe chuckles.

"_Nerd_," Chloe mutters now. "Sartre was interesting. But I'd much rather read Balzac or Zola or Proust really."

Dr. Mitchell smiles at the mention of Proust. Beca is pleasantly surprised that Chloe digs French authors in the first place. She doesn't remember Chloe reading a lot of books when they were at Barden. Beca can swear Chloe is now her father's favorite person as he gestures to a wait staff and the person approaches, polite and smiling as she asks what they are going to order.

"I'm going to have the _Ratatouille__ Francoise_ and the _Rigorde_," Dr. Mitchell tells the person.

The person nods, takes note of his order, then she turns to Chloe and Beca. Beca looks at the menu and draws a blank at the French words with the English explanation beneath them.

Chloe leans over and smiles. "I'd recommend the _Poulet Basquaise_, and maybe the _Pommes a l'Huile_."

"What's that?" Beca asks, briefly wondering at Chloe's knowledge of French or of French cuisine, or cuisine in general, as she hadn't shown any such interest when they were at Barden.

"Well, the _Poulet Basquaise_ is chicken with hot peppers, ham, tomatoes and onion," Chloe explains now, leaning even closer to Beca as she points at the menu in Beca's hand. She is so close that Beca can smell Chloe's perfume, something fragrant and spring-y. "The _Pommes a l'Huile_ is simple potato salad with herb vinaigrette."

Beca nods her head and says, "Oh." She considers this for a moment, looks up at the wait person, a young woman with thick mascara and ear monstrosities that could rival hers, smiles and says, "Yeah, what she said. I'm having it." When the woman nods, she says, "On second thought, can I just have the _Pommes a l'Huile_? The simple potato salad thing…"

The woman nods before turning to Chloe. "Yeah, I'd like the _gratin de courgettes et tomates _please."

Dr. Mitchell orders a bottle of red Bordeaux, as well and as they wait for their orders, they sip their wine and make awkward conversation, in which Dr. Mitchell asks perfunctory questions about Beca's work, to which Beca answers a short, curt, "It's fine", which makes it even more awkward for the three. Dr. Mitchell makes more of a head way with Chloe, when he asks about Chloe's work.

"So what do you do, Chloe?" Dr. Mitchell asks.

Chloe smiles before she answers, "H.R., Dr. Mitchell. I work as a consultant for an HR company. I go around the country consulting with companies. I also give motivational lectures, too."

Dr. Mitchell nods, visibly impressed with Chloe's answer. He looks at Beca now, as if he is about to say something, but decides against it.

"And have you been doing it long?" Dr. Mitchell asks now, as he pours more wine in Chloe's glass.

Chloe shakes her head. "Not so much. Just a few years or so. Volunteered with Peace Corps for a while, did a bit of travelling, and came back here to work."

"Oh, that's great," Dr. Mitchell says now, smiling even more at Chloe.

Beca resists the urge to roll her eyes as Dr. Mitchell asks her where she's been.

"Oh, around," Chloe answers now, shrugging. "Nairobi, New Delhi, Beijing, Shanghai, Paris, London, Milan…"

Dr. Mitchell slowly nods. "Wow, that's quite a lot of countries you have visited there."

Chloe only smiles. "I…we were trying to trace the Silk Road route, my friends and I."

Dr. Mitchell nods in understanding, then looks at Beca now, wistful and regretful. "Beca could have had that life, too."

"Dad…" Beca says now.

Dr. Mitchell ignores her. "…Instead she decides to be a DJ…and…"

Beca knits her eyebrows in irritation at her father. She has a ready retort for her father that at the last minute she decides against saying, realizing that Chloe is with her at the moment and the other woman is feeling a bit uncomfortable at their exchange.

Beca manages however, to say, very sarcastically, turning to Chloe as she does so, "My father thinks being a DJ isn't a real job, like being a professor is."

"I'm sure she's not _just_ a DJ," Chloe interrupts now, with a smile, gamely leaping to Beca's defense, like she always does. "I heard she's making waves in clubs these days…"

Dr. Mitchell is silent, looking at Beca, who has grown silent. There is an awkward silence at their table.

"I've always wanted to travel," Dr. Mitchell resumes now. "Go on vacation, or something. But work keeps getting in the way."

Chloe only nods in agreement, showing interest in what Dr. Mitchell has to say.

"So, which one did you like the best?" Dr. Mitchell asks with growing interest.

"Nairobi," Chloe says, quickly.

"Wasn't it dangerous though? Being in Africa?" Dr. Mitchell asks now.

Beca sees the subtle quirk in Chloe's eyebrows, and the slight flash of irritation in her blue eyes as she politely smiles at Dr. Mitchell. "It's dangerous everywhere, Dr. Mitchell. It's not really safe anywhere, is it?"

Dr. Mitchell nods in agreement. "That is true."

They sit in silence now, Dr. Mitchell not knowing what else to say, and neither Beca nor Chloe not knowing what to say as well.

"So…you and Jesse, Beca…" Dr. Mitchell begins now, hesitantly, cautiously, as he sips his wine and looks at Beca carefully through the top of his glass.

"God, dad, _ugh_, seriously?" Beca blurts out now, irritated. "You couldn't have waited 'til dessert at least to bring that up?"

Before Beca can say anything else and her father can respond, the wait staff thankfully comes with their orders and as the woman sets their orders down on the table, there is a silence that each one welcomes with relief. Chloe's phone rings and she excuses herself to take the call, apologizing to both Beca and Dr. Mitchell as she does so. Dr. Mitchell takes the opportunity to talk to his daughter.

"Beca…" he begins.

"Dad, don't start," Beca says, curtly, refusing to look her father in the eye. "I'm seriously not in the mood for your fatherly advice or lectures on how much I've fucked up my life."

"Beca, language and that's not why I came," Dr. Mitchell says.

"Oh yeah?" Beca asks now. "Then why did you come?"

"I…" Dr. Mitchell hesitates before he sighs, and says, "I came to see if you were okay. Jesse called me and told me what happened…"

"Ugh, is there anything you guys don't talk about?" Beca mutters now in disgust.

"Beca," Dr. Mitchell says. "He knew you weren't going to say anything and he had wanted me to know about it from him, not from anyone else, or god forbid the tabloids."

Beca looks at him. "And what, you're on _his_ side?"

"Beca _please_," Dr. Mitchell says now.

"Because _he_ left me, dad," Beca says now.

"Oh, Beca," Dr. Mitchell says now. "It takes two to make a relationship work, and two to destroy it. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but clearly it's been going on for a while now, else why would Jesse ask for a divorce?"

Beca is silent now.

"Pity though," Dr. Mitchell says. "I liked him. He was a rather nice young man." He thinks about this for a moment, before he turns to Beca now and says, "But sometimes, I can't help but think it might have had something to do with you and how you push people away…"

"Dad…"

"And the thing with you, Beca, is, you're a quitter," Dr. Mitchell says now. "You were a quitter then, and you're a quitter now."

"Dad, stop it, _please_."

"And getting a divorce from Jesse, that's taking the easy way out."

"Dad, you don't even know what went on between Jesse and I, and you have no right to sit there judging me for the things I've done in my life."

Beca thinks of saying more to her father, but finds she cannot really, and realizes she is exhausted. Completely and absolutely exhausted, and that she doesn't really want to talk about her divorce from Jesse right now, or anything for that matter. She hasn't seen her father in a while, and realizes she has missed him, but she feels like she isn't really ready to talk about her marriage to Jesse with him.

So she thinks of a suitable way to get out of the dinner with him.

She fishes out her mobile phone and says, "Uh, dad, my boss called, I have to be at the club tonight, the house DJ called in sick, so…"

"So soon?" Dr. Mitchell says now, visibly disappointed.

"Yeah, you know how these things go," Beca says now, as she starts to gather her things.

As if on cue, Chloe comes all smiles, and as she takes a sit beside Beca, Beca announces that they are leaving.

"What, so soon?" Chloe asks now, confused.

"Um, I have that thing…" Beca says now.

"That thing?" Chloe asks, looking at Beca, puzzled.

"Yeah, that _thing_," Beca says, more meaningfully now, pleading with Chloe.

Chloe looks at her, before she realizes what the other woman is saying and she says, "Oh." Then she stops, and says the word again, "Oooh, yeah, that thing you have."

"Yeah, we have to go dad," Beca says now as she starts to stand up, followed by Chloe. "Sorry, dad," she says now, giving her father an apologetic smile, not letting her father say anything in edgewise.

"It was nice seeing you again, Dr. Mitchell," Chloe says now, as Beca grabs Chloe's hand and pulls her hurriedly out of the restaurant.

* * *

"What was that about?" Chloe asks now, as they get into Beca's car. "And didn't you just tell me you don't have anything tonight?"

Beca grins as she starts her car. "Yeah. But my dad didn't know that." As Chloe stares at her waiting for further explanation, Beca sighs and says, "I'm sorry…I just couldn't deal with my dad right now..."

Chloe nods. "But…you kind of just left your dad in there, Beca. You sure he's going to be okay?"

Beca rolls her eyes. "Yeah, he'll get over it. He has nerves of steel, heart made of stone…he's sort of…dead to the world. I wouldn't worry about it too much…"

Chloe looks at her uncertainly, then looks out into the restaurant. "You sure?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. No worries," Beca says. When Chloe just continues to look at the restaurant, biting her lower lip, as if considering what Beca has just said versus the man they'd just left inside all alone, Beca sighs and says, "He's going to be fine. No worries."

Chloe stares at the restaurant first before her gaze returns to Beca and she says, "Okay. If you say so."

"Do you want to go home now now?" Beca asks.

"It's my last night in L.A.," Chloe reminds her now. "Show me something special. Some place that's unique, that's very L.A. but kind of special and stuff."

Beca slowly nods, suddenly realizing that it is, in fact, Chloe's last night in L.A. She can feel a vague sadness at this revelation, and perhaps a bit of anxiety, already not looking forward to the solitude that will welcome her when she returns to her apartment.

Beca inhales slowly. "Something special," she repeats flatly.

Chloe grins. "Yes."

Beca thinks about it for a while, keys in the ignition, before she makes up her mind, nods and says, "Okay."

As they pull out of the restaurant, Chloe asks, "Where are we going?"

Beca only grins. "You have to wait and see."

* * *

Later, after weaving through downtown traffic, Beca cursing under her breath for the traffic and the roads and highways being crazy and ridiculous, they turn off the main road and Beca drives the car up a deserted road. The city drops back beneath them, as the road before them stretches, and in a few minutes, Beca parks the car at a view point just off the road, which affords them a view of the Pacific Ocean and the city on their left.

Chloe gets another call as they get out of the car, and she answers it with a, "Hey, Bradley…Yeah, I'm still in L.A…" and Beca takes out her phone, puts in her earphones and leans on the hood of the car, watching the sea in the distance, ostensibly pretending she is not dying to know who this Bradley is, and instead listening to some mindless music that she can ignore as she just enjoys the view. She checks her phone for messages and she finds that Jesse's agent, manager and publicist, and her lawyer, has left her messages again.

Once Chloe's call with "Bradley" is done, Chloe turns the phone off and she looks up and the smile on her face widens and she looks at Beca and says, "This is _awesome_."

As they lean on Beca's car, and look at the view of the ocean, and the city and the stars above, Chloe says, "Wow, look at those stars. It's beautiful." In a few seconds, she is asking, uncertainly, "Is that…is that Cassiopeia?"

Beca slides closer to her and says, "Yeah, I think it is." She is silent for a while before she says, "L.A. looks nice from here."

She's never put much stock on LA and its sights. In fact, lately she's been feeling a distant feeling against LA. She doesn't know if it's because she's been here too long, and the cynicism produced by the many attempts she's made into the music business that yielded zero results, coupled with the falseness and fabricated look LA and its citizens exude, has made Beca feel even more distant than before.

"It looks nice," Chloe says now as she looks at the city.

A breeze from the sea come up them now and they both shiver in the cold. Chloe is only a dress. Beca is wearing pants and a blouse and jacket. She removes her jacket to offer it to Chloe. Chloe looks at her and smiles, before she takes the jacket and puts it on with a "thank you" to Beca.

"This place really looks nice," Chloe says again.

Beca nods in agreement. "I come here sometimes, when things get really tough and all I want to do is scream."

"You go out here alone?" Chloe asks now. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"Yeah, but it's cool. I come here sometimes," Beca says. "I don't stay out too late. Sometimes I just drive around, to clear my head. Then I go back back home after."

"I can see the appeal," Chloe says now. "This place makes you forget that most of the people here are total goobers and buttheads."

Beca looks at her now. Chloe though is looking up at the sky. Beca bursts out laughing.

Chloe looks at her now. "What?"

"_Goober? Butthead?_" Beca asks now. "Who even says that anymore?"

Beca thinks Chloe might actually be blushing in the half-darkness. Chloe only laughs. "Whatever. Leave me alone."

Beca laughs. "If you've decided, on the strength of my very bad tour guiding, that L.A. is not for you, I'm so sorry. I am the _worst_ tour guide in the world."

Chloe grins as she looks at her, considering it for a moment. "I don't know. It might take a bit of getting used to, but there's something about the smog and traffic and crime rate that's very charming and appealing."

As Beca only laughs, Chloe says, "I could like it here."

Beca says, "Oh, I don't know about that. You've been all over the world. L.A. must be boring by comparison."

Chloe says, looking her in the eye, "Most cities are the same. In the end, I think what matters most is the people in the place, not the tourist spots and stuff. The reason I liked Nairobi was because the people there were warm, happy, the life simple and the work very fulfilling. India was the same, too, come to think of it."

A silence descends on them as they enjoy the early evening view of LA spread out before them. A few minutes later, Beca says, "I'm sorry."

Chloe looks at her now. "For what?"

Beca shrugs. "For dinner."

"Why?" Chloe asks.

Beca is silent. "It was a dick move, bailing like that, I know. But I just…I just couldn't take it anymore, dude. Thought I could, but I couldn't. Thought I could get through it. As it turns out I can't." She stops, before she says, "Once my dad started talking about my divorce, and starts to say stuff like I'm a quitter, and divorce is the easy way out…I knew I had to get out of there. But hey, look at me, I just took the easy way out of dinner by walking out on my father _right_ in the middle of dinner. _Ugh_. I'm a loser."

Chloe is silent. "Don't you wish sometimes like you could stop time?"

The question surprises Beca. When she turns and looks at Chloe questioningly, Chloe says, "Don't you wish you could just stop time? Keep it from moving, just stop it in its tracks?"

Beca is silent for a few seconds, before she says, "If you could stop time, when would you stop it?"

Chloe considers this for a moment, biting her lower lip as she does so, before she says, "I guess if I could, I'd stop it around my childhood years, when the family was still all around me, still complete, and not scattered like the wind."

Beca grins. "Don't want to stop time during your teen years or years at Barden?"

Chloe chuckles. "God, stopping time through your teen years, _ugh_. That would be a nightmare." She is silent now before she turns to Beca and asks, "What about you? When would you stop it?"

Beca looks at Chloe, and is surprised that the first thing that comes to mind, is _now_. That if she could stop time, she'd stop it right now, right at this moment, on this very night, here, with Chloe, on top of one of the letters of the Hollywood sign, just staring out at the city's landscape and the stars scattered across the night sky. The random, errant thought surprises her and she stops herself in time before she blurts it out. Instead, she considers the question first before she says, "I don't know. Maybe a few months ago? Or last year? Or right before the wedding? Or even before that? If I'd only known then what I know now, I would have stopped it then when I was still young…before it was too late…"

Chloe is silent. Then she speaks up. "I don't think I would stop time, actually. I think I'd just let it go on like it has been."

Beca looks at her. "You would?"

"Yeah," Chloe answers it. She grins at Beca now. "I'd love to see what the future will bring. I'd hate to miss out on some aca-awesome stuff that might come up, you know?"

Beca grins now. "What, like hoverboards and flying cars and vintage Nike sneakers and synthetic, edible windbreakers and stuff?"

Chloe laughs now. "Nerd."

They are silent again for a few moments, before Chloe says, "You don't need to worry about it."

Beca looks her over. "Worry about what?"

Chloe says, "Dinner."

"Oh," Beca says.

Chloe smiles. "I can totally prepare _Poulet Basquaise_, _Pommes a l'Huile_ and _gratin de courgettes et tomates _for you if you like."

"Yeah?"

Chloe nods, a twinkle in her eye. "Totally. I've gotten better at cooking."

Beca grins, remembering that Chloe had, in fact, dabbled in cooking when they were roommates. Although she remembers Chloe being an infinitely better cook than Beca ever was. Jesse was the cook between them. Beca had an over-reliance on Chinese and Indian take-out and fastfood.

They fall silent again, before Chloe speaks up, softly, this time. "You're being too hard on yourself, you know. I think you should just…take it easy. Let go. It wasn't all your fault. Some things just…run its course…you know…?"

Beca doesn't know what to answer to that.

So Beca doesn't to say anything.

When Beca still doesn't say anything, Chloe says, softly, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Beca asks, now surprised.

Chloe shrugs. "I think I may have overstepped the line…"

Beca shakes her head. "No, no," she quickly says. "I don't think you could ever do that," she says now, and she finds, as she says it, that it is true. When it comes to Chloe, she's never minded any of it. "Don't be sorry," Beca says now. "It's the most fun I've had since…"

Here, Beca stops, not knowing to continue, thinking it's the most fun she's had since before her divorce from Jesse.

Chloe doesn't say anything.

"So, think you might like it here?" Beca asks now.

"I don't know yet," Chloe says. "It depends."

"On what?"

Chloe is silent for a heartbeat. "On whether there's something more here I can stay for. It takes more than a few nice tourist attractions to make me stay."

Beca says, "Well, stay a few more days, check the place out, see if it's your scene."

Chloe only smiles. "I have work."

Beca says, "Yeah."

"Yeah," Chloe says. They are silent for a while. "Tired?"

Beca nods, yawning. "Yeah."

"Shall we go then?"

Beca looks at Chloe now. "Yeah."

As they get into the car, Chloe says something casually to Beca. "And you're not, you know."

"I'm not what?" Beca asks absently as she starts the car.

Chloe looks at Beca now. "A loser."

Beca stops, stares at Chloe.

Chloe smiles. "You never were. You never will be. Don't ever think otherwise."

* * *

The two go back home after, finding themselves back in Beca's neighborhood, in her apartment, in her bedroom. To Beca's consternation, the guest room is locked, and since she isn't sure if Amy is home, or not, and since Chloe insists they share the bed, the two end up doing so again.

When Beca comes out of the bathroom, Chloe is already in bed, freshly showered and in one of Beca's oversized shirts, and under the covers, going through her laptop, with her earphones on. Beca assumes she is checking her email.

Chloe shifts and makes a space for Beca as Beca slides into the bed and under the covers. As she does so, she leans over and asks, "What are you doing?"

Chloe only grins and shows her laptop. "Massai warriors dancing."

Beca watches Africans in traditional garb dancing and swaying to and fro and jumping up and down to an African beat and she grins. "Seriously?"

Chloe only shakes her head. "Want to learn?"

Before Beca can shake her head no, Chloe is already pulling her out of the bed and teaching her the dance in the bedroom, both of them barefoot, African music playing on her laptop as they sway to and from with the beat. Though Beca is whining and complaining that she is sleepy and tired, she finds the beat fascinating and she is actually enjoying watching Chloe light up with such joy and enthusiasm teaching her how to dance. In one instance, Chloe actually stands behind Beca and tries to demonstrate the way she's supposed to be dancing and Beca is rolling her eyes, and joking, "I don't think that's part of the dance. You're just using that as an excuse to cop a feel."

Chloe only laughs, completely unperturbed by what Beca has just said as they dance around in her bedroom. After a few minutes of doing so, Beca finds herself learning some Indian dance or other, and a chant Chloe has learned when she was in Nepal, and another when she'd visited China, showing Beca a video of a group of old Chinese men and women gathered around chanting a song that Beca does not know the meaning of, but which she finds she is mesmerized by, their voices in perfect harmony, rising and falling in perfect unison, lulling her, soothing her, and as she watches the video and plays it over and over again, she can feel the tendrils of an idea start to rise up within her. The song is beautiful.

Chloe just looks at her, grinning. "Wow. You really like that video," she comments.

"This is amazing."

Chloe grins before she starts to yawn. "I knew you would like that. I don't know why, but when I was taking a video of these Chinese people chanting, I don't know, I thought of you."

Beca looks at her now. "You thought of me?" Beca doesn't know why but she feels flattered that Chloe would remember her while she's travelling.

Chloe grins, looking completely unaware of Beca looking pleased. "Yeah, I thought it would be cool to show it to you."

"You didn't think of Aubrey first?"

Chloe laughs. "You know how Aubrey likes her women artists. She doesn't break tradition and stuff."

They look at the video again, before Chloe starts to yawn and Beca follows suit.

Chloe says, "God, I'm tired. I think I'm just going to sleep now."

Beca nods. "You've had a long day."

Chloe nods back. "As have you." Then she smiles now, as she looks at Beca and she says, "Thanks for showing me L.A."

Beca grins. "You're welcome."

As they get ready for bed, Chloe turns her player on, just so they can listen to some music, since Beca has shown some curiosity with regards Chloe's night time playlist.

Chloe says, "I doubt if you're going to like my jam. I don't think retro is your thing."

As Beca settles down on her side of the bed, "As long as I'm not hearing your lady jam, I'm cool."

Chloe chuckles as they listen to the songs. The songs are conventional, very Chloe, in fact. She sees Alicia Keys' "Girl On Fire", Pink's "Just Give Me A Reason", a few old songs, unfamiliar ones, Genesis, Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes", Spandau Ballet's "True" and the Beatles' "I Will".

In a few minutes, both fall asleep to the music in Chloe's laptop.

* * *

Beca wakes up the next day to find the bed empty, again, and the day already late, judging by the slants of light between the slits from the heavy, thick, dark curtains. She can hear though voices through the door, and as she yawns, groggily gets up and makes her way out of the door, through the hallway and to the kitchen, the voices become louder.

When she opens the door, Amy is there, with Stacie, Lilly and Ashley, all of them playing poker, a small television turned on to some news turned on mute. The smell of French cuisine, chicken cooking, the _Poulet Basquaise_, Beca guesses, and the _Pommes a l'Huile_ and _gratin de courgettes et tomates _laid out on the kitchen counter, all ready for the eating.

"Hey, Beca!" everyone says now.

"Hey, you guys," Beca says, smiling.

When she looks at Chloe questioningly, wondering why Chloe is still here, Chloe smiles, sheepishly and says, "I missed my flight. I'm sorry."

Beca doesn't know why, but she feels relieved by that, as she is relieved that most of her friends are here right now.

Chloe comes up to her now and says, "But not to worry, I made reservations. I can stay at the Holiday Inn for the night."

Beca only rolls her eyes at Chloe. "You don't need to do that. I have a spare bedroom. You can spend the night here. Again. If you want."

Chloe looks at her now, uncertain. "You sure?"

Beca smiles. "Yes."

Chloe only looks at her, considering the offer, before a smile breaks out of her face and she says, "Awesome!" and then hugs Beca before she returns to her cooking.

Beca smiles at her as she goes back to cooking, then she looks at her other friends and pretends to be annoyed, as she asks, "What, you guys are making this a regular _thing_ now?"

Stacie smiles. "You left so early the other night, we didn't really get to say goodbye to you." She looks around now and says, "Jessica says hi. She's on her honeymoon in Hawaii. Cynthia Rose and Denise are planning for the wedding, they would have come, but I think they're having dinner with the future in-laws or something. They're saying hi, too. Lilly's going back to San Francisco later, and Ashley and I are going to Seattle and Amy's…"

"Staying here for the night, again, if that's okay with you Beca?" Amy asks now.

Beca briefly considers this, before thinking, _Oh, what the hell_ and nods. "Like I actually have a choice?"

Amy only smiles sheepishly. Then she looks at Stacie and asks, "Why are you and Ashley going to Seattle together? Aren't you living in New York or something?"

There is a brief silence before Stacie says, "Um, yeah, I have an interview in Seattle."

"Interview?" Amy asks.

"Yeah, interview," Stacie confirms.

"Interview," Ashley echoes, nodding vigorously.

"Yeah, for a…" Stacie looks at Ashley, "Thing. On the radio…I'm promoting my…book?"

Ashley nods. "Yeah, book."

"Yeah, it's a coffee table book on how to enjoy sex, without really trying…"

Amy looks at Stacie for a few minutes, scrutinizing her, before she nods and says, "Okay. Cool." She looks at Beca now and says, "Hey, Beca, come join us."

As Beca goes to one of the chairs, and sits on it, Amy turns to Chloe and says, "Chloe, come live in L.A. It's totally cool. But if you're not sure yet, you could totally, like, rent a place here for a few months, while you're trying to decide if you want to settle here or not. Or you could just totally crash at Beca's, I'm sure Beca won't mind. You can keep her company or something."

Beca and Chloe do not answer, Chloe busy cooking and Beca not knowing what to say. Amy though seems to have forgotten what she has just said as she turns to the game at hand. Chloe's phone rings again, and as Beca strains to listen to the conversation as Chloe excuses herself to go outside, Beca thinks she hears Chloe's tired, exasperated, "Hey, Bradley…" Beca thinks she wants to be annoyed herself at this Bradley character.

"I still don't understand this game," Amy says as she stares at the cards. "I mean, I get poker, but it's a bit boring with our clothes _on_."

"We've been through this, Amy, we can't really do that," Ashley says. She stops, pauses, looks surreptitiously at Stacie, before she says, "Except Stacie, of course, but I really don't want to sit through half-naked people playing poker."

"Then what's the point?" Amy asks. "And we're playing for chips and stuff? That's really boring."

"Would you rather we did spanking as punishment?" Lilly whispers.

"Spanking. I've enjoyed spanking," Stacie says now.

Ashley, sitting beside Stacie, half-coughs, half-chokes and turns a bit red and Stacie looks at her and says, "You okay?"

Ashley nods wordlessly.

Amy looks at them, knitting her eyebrows, puzzled, before she reaches for the remote and turns the volume up on television and some random news about the NRA asserting their right to bear arms.

Amy sighs and says, "I still don't understand this American obsession with the right to bear fire arms." She looks at the news and says, "If your NRA fights for everyone's right to bare breasts, I'd totally be in."

There is a silence as everyone processes this before Amy continues, "The cleavage of justice, y'all!"

Beca looks at Amy. "You're giving us way too much to process here."

"You know what I don't get though?" Amy asks now. "You Americans calling fish 'the chicken of the sea'. I mean, what is that all about?" Amy considers this for a moment, shrugs as if to say, "Americans are hopeless" as she grabs the remote, flips through channels and sees a "Fast and the Furious" movie showing.

"I love the 'Fast and the Furious' movies," Amy says now. "Where, you know, the entire premise revolves around the idea that any crime can be committed using a car and every problem is solved by adding _more_ cars." She flips channels again and a channel is showing an old Channing Tatum film called, "The Eagle." "Ah, this is more like it. Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell in Roman Times exploring the master-slave relationship while they're wearing leather skirts."

"Also known as the dom and the sub in a BDSM relationship," Stacie says now. "Leather skirts are hot."

Everyone makes a face.

Amy changes channels again and Beca sees a glimpse of Jesse in one of the channels.

"Whoa, Amy, hold up, back up will you?" Beca says.

"Wha…?" Amy says.

Beca holds out her hand and gestures for Amy to give her the remote and Beca does so. Beca flips through channels again and finds the channel where Jesse is on.

"...If you're just tuning in, up and coming TV and movie star Jesse Swanson has just checked himself into a rehab for alcohol and substance abuse…"

There is a silence as everyone stops and looks at handsome photos of Jesse at various events and clips of him in movies and television shows.

"…Rumored to be seeing actress Jennifer Scott, who had previously been romantically linked to up-and-coming politician Richard Bradley Wiener-Bowie III…"

Everyone looks at Beca now. Beca is raising her eyebrows, as surprised at this new revelation as she is surprised by the other one where Jesse has just checked himself at an undisclosed rehab center.

The reporter proceeds to briefly but comprehensively discuss Jesse Swanson's career, complete with photos and clips from his television shows, movies and an interview or so, Jennifer Scott's career, complete with same, and Richard Bradley Wiener-Bowie III and his political career, a young lawyer who comes from a prominent political family that dates back to the Civil Rights Movement. The man is slowly making a name for himself as a lawyer and is rumored to be running for Congress after switching from Republican to Democrat, breaking a long line of Republican tradition in his family. The rest of the news covers his stand on gay rights, womens' rights, abortion, sex education, arts education, immigration, welfare, insurance, crime and other pressing American issues.

They look back to the television and Amy comments, "What kind of name is Richard Bradley Wiener- Bowie the Third? His nickname's like Dick Wiener!" before she grabs the remote and changes the channel. "I'd like to see this politician guy come up with a comprehensive tax plan for the US. In 3D…"

There is another silence and nobody knows what to say.

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Kind reviews are as always welcome and will be much appreciated and will help the frequency of updates. I wasn't sure about this chapter, but I wanted an organic interaction between the two, seeing as they haven't seen each other in years and have had stuff happen to them during that time. I hope you liked it nonetheless. _**

**_Thanks to DragonsWillFly for the insights and help with this chapter._**

**_To Dreaming Fantasy and TheGreenEyedRioN - many thanks for reading and reviewing. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, too._**

**_Featured song:_**

**_"When You Say Nothing At All" by Ronan Keating _**


	6. Nobody But You

**"_It is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope. But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical will live the relation to another as something alive." - Rainer Maria Rilke_**

* * *

It takes Beca a few days to get in touch with her ex-husband.

She hasn't seen him since that time he and Chloe had brought Fat Amy home. Most of the communicating, or lack of it thereof, had been done through lawyers or mutual friends, and that one time when her father had tried to talk to her about the divorce when he'd come over to L.A. to have dinner with her.

His agent, publicist, manager and lawyer had actually hadn't known where he was and that was why they were trying to get in touch with her, with the mistaken idea that she would know where he was. He'd actually missed an interview, a magazine and music video shoot, and a meeting that day they'd been texting and trying to call her, and nobody knew where he was. To describe them as freaking out would be an understatement. They had been trying to get in touch with her to warn her as well of the unconfirmed Jennifer Scott rumor. Jennifer Scott is an A-List actress with a constant horde of paparazzi following her around like insects flying around a beehive, or a carcass, waiting to pounce over a slight whiff of a controversy and make a big buck off of a famous movie star. She's also currently America's sweetheart, so fans adore her in anything and everything she makes, even that insipid, infantile romantic comedy that one critic had said, "I'd rather choke on my dentures than watch that movie ever again." As America's sweetheart, fans also follow whatever she does, where she eats, where she shops, what she wears, and who she dates. She'd started out as a child actor in one of those kiddie channels that feature animated shows and kids' shows that feature overly perky kids who seem to be hopped up on sugar. She'd moved on to soap operas, before venturing into television shows and movies, making a name for herself doing predictable romantic comedies and the occasional indie film. Along the way, she's battled substance abuse, abusive boyfriends and a couple of nervous breakdowns, but each time she's bounced back stronger than ever, earning her the industry's respect. She has lately started venturing into producing.

Beca knows Jennifer Scott. She's tall, brunette and slim and she has this annoying laugh that Beca has decided is a donkey bray, rather than a human one. Her face is quite ordinary, Beca thinks, but that's just her.

She thinks about this now as she drives to the place. She still cannot see the center, but it has that originally named "Safe Haven". She knows she is close though, because as she continues to drive, there are fewer and fewer cars, houses, and people, and more trees, bushes, shrubs, and the paved road has become a dirt road, tires crunching against the gravel and dirty road, kicking up a cloud of dust in her wake. All around her, lush, verdant mountains rise up to meet the bright blue sky. There are empty fields of green and brown, occasional horses grazing on fields.

In a few minutes she can see the center, a large, expansive group of buildings, with an expansive courtyard with a large driveway, benches, tables, trees. She knows there is a lake at the back, a swimming pool, and should the clients feel the need, they can go for a walk in the woods at the back of the center. The center itself doesn't actually look like a rehab center. It looks like a very expensive getaway ranch-style resort, with a large, modern-looking main building, and wooden log cabins that surround the main building. A few cars are out front. A few people, Beca guesses they are also clients, are out in the courtyard, talking, chatting with each other. The center looks exactly like what it looked like on the internet, when she'd checked it out right after Jesse had gotten in touch with her to tell her where he was.

By the time Beca is about to give up on getting in touch with Jesse, she's worried, wondering where he is, because despite everything they have been going through the past months, she still had ten years with Jesse and she at least owed it to him to make sure he was okay.

After a few days, she gets a call from her ex-husband, his voice sounding somber and subdued, distant and hesitant, sheepish and apologetic, one day during the week. By that time, there had been a bit more news about Jesse and Jennifer's alleged romance. Jesse is nowhere to be found, and whenever any reporter can get hold of Jennifer, or even, aspiring politician and close friend Richard Bradley Wiener Bowie III, the only thing they offers is a "no comment" or a short, diplomatic, deliberately vague answer. For a while, there are gifs and memes about Jesse, Jennifer and Richard Bradley Wiener Bowie III, Beca's favorite being the one with Richard Bradley Wiener Bowie III looking like he's about to hulk out over Jesse and Jennifer Scott's rumored romance, with the amusing caption, "The rise of Dick" beneath the gif. In time, the news about them die out until it is no longer mentioned.

* * *

She remembers the conversation with Jesse now, an awkward conversation, if there ever was one, filled with a lot of pauses and fillers. Beca is only so relieved Jesse even remembers to call her and tell her where he is that she forgets to admonish him for keeping this, his addiction, the rumors, everything else to himself, angry that she's had to find out about his checking into a rehab on the news.

He speaks to her casually now, like he's talking about the weather, or his day at the set, voice even and slightly monotonous, talking about this place an hour away from L.A. called "Safe Haven", a rehab facility that's had a high success rate for addicts, offering the necessary the assistance, counseling and program that addicts need to recover and start anew sans their addictions. There is the added bonus of having privacy and peace and quiet, all of which can ensure that a patient can recover faster.

Beca hadn't gotten much in edgewise because Jesse hadn't given her enough of a chance to talk, telling her, "Listen, please let me speak first. I need to get this out before I lose my nerve. My counselor says I need to deal with this. Don't worry, I'm okay, I'm fine, it's great here, it's a nice break from my life, we have regular meals and regular counseling sessions and we get to watch movies at night, or take a walk in the woods or whatever, but anyway, there's this session during the day, where we're required to bring in our loved ones for a family counseling session and…"

"I'm not your family," Beca blurts out before she can stop herself. There is an awkward silence at the other end of the line. "Well, not anymore, anyway."

She can hear Jesse let out a resigned sigh, before he says, slightly irritated, "Well, you're family to me, Beca." It surprises Beca a bit, this little outburst from Jesse, before she hears him take a nervous deep breath and says, "I mean, you're still listed as the person they're supposed to contact in case of an emergency. Listen, this rehab thing's really made me think a lot about the stuff that's been going on in my life and the reasons behind it and I have to come up with, like, a recovery plan and stuff to make sure I don't relapse and stuff. It's an assignment that I have before they allow me to leave..." When Beca doesn't say anything, Jesse continues, growing more agitated and nervous, "And part of the counseling is…kind of dealing with why I'd become addicted in the first place, and trying to figure out how I don't relapse. And the counselor says I have a better chance of not relapsing if the people that I care about are onboard my recovery plan, 'cause that will help me stay on course and…can you come here? I know you're busy and stuff but…it would really mean a lot to me if you could…"

Beca had told him then that she'd think about it.

* * *

She had actually talked to Chloe right after her conversation with Jesse. Chloe's the only one she calls after Jesse has called her, asking her if she should join one of the counseling sessions at Safe Haven. When she had called Chloe that time though, to talk about Jesse, she hadn't known Chloe was in New York, and thus was in different time zone.

Chloe had groggily answered the phone, clearly having been sleeping when Beca had called.

"Oh, my god, Chloe, I'm so sorry," Beca had said, apologetic and suddenly feeling like an idiot for waking Chloe up.

"Beca?" Chloe asks now, voice still sounding sleepy and uncertain. When Beca says that it is, indeed herself, calling Chloe and proceeds to apologize profusely for waking her up in the middle of the night, Chloe says, "No, no, it's okay. I'm up now anyway, so…"

"Only 'cause I just woke you," Beca says. "I'm so sorry. Were you sleeping when I called…?"

"Yeah, but stop it, it's fine. I'd been meaning to wake up early anyway, to write something and work on a paper," Chloe says, good-naturedly, and Beca can hear her yawning, can hear the rustle of sheets as she shifts on her bed. "What's up?"

Beca says, uncertainly, "I don't know whether I should be talking about this with you but…"

"Shoot," Chloe says.

And before Beca knows it, she's telling Chloe about Jesse, and his random phone call to her and how she's supposed to go to the counseling session with him for an assignment and for a recovery plan and how it's vital that she be there to support him because if she's not there, there's a possibility that he might relapse and she concludes by saying, "And I don't know what to do, and I'm still mad at him but I'm worried about this thing with him, too and…"

"Well, do you want to go?" Chloe asks now.

Beca hesitates, thinks about it for a moment, before she says, "I don't know. I'm not sure."

"Okay," Chloe says, not knowing what else to say. She pauses, before she says, "Do you think this might help not only Jesse but you too?"

"What do you mean?"

"Um…" Chloe says now. "There must be a reason he's in rehab now, some trigger or something and it's probably crucial that you be there as well."

"You think it might help him?" Beca asks now.

"It might," Chloe says now. "But you don't have to go if you don't want to. It's totally your call. You are free to do whatever you want to do, you know. You don't need to do it just 'cause you're obligated to do it."

Beca thinks about this for a second before she says, "You're right. Okay. Thanks."

* * *

She parks her car in the partially empty parking lot beside the main building, and steps out into a bright day.

She's nervous and anxious, and she doesn't know whether it's because she's about to have her relationship and marriage with Jesse scrutinized by an impersonal, judgmental counselor who's probably listing down the many reasons why Jesse's descended into a drug and alcoholic haze. She's pretty sure the counselor is going to pin Jesse's problems on Beca. Everyone else seems to think so. Or at least she thinks they are.

The first time she came and joined the guided session with Jesse's assigned counselor, it isn't at all like what Beca had imagined it to be, but it isn't the most comfortable situation Beca's been in, especially once the personal discussions start. Beca had barely made it in the first session that they had. Jesse had done his best to not look disappointed as Beca drives off in her car.

This is Beca's second time to visit Jesse. She hopes it is better than the first time.

She feels her heart flutter as she takes out her keys out of the ignition, checks her reflection on the mirror, unlocks her car door, slams it and locks it. She looks up at the building and feels the anxiety grow ten-fold as she takes a deep breath. She's nervous and anxious and she doesn't know what to expect this time around.

She starts to make her way out of the parking lot and into the courtyard. If she is worried that the other people might stare at her and figure out she's Jesse's ex-wife, she needn't have worried. The other people pretty much ignore her, smiling and acknowledging her presence but not really making a big deal out of it, the people around her pretty much ignoring her and resuming talking with each other. She is about to make her way to the entrance to the main lobby, shiny double glass doors where she can see a pretty modern comfortable interior with lounge chairs, a couch, a glass table with some seems like magazines. She stops, hesitates, unsure about whether she should go in now or not. As she stands there, wondering what to do, she hears a distinctive voice from behind the bushes.

"I like Green Lantern, I'm just saying it's pretty lame that he can be defeated by the color yellow," the voice says now. "Yeah, no, I've never thought of that…Yes, I've never stopped to think about that, but yeah, I guess Wolverine _could_ have balls of adamantium…" There is a pause before the voice speaks up again, "Yeah, Watchmen's movie version was cool, but it wasn't exactly true to the comic books…But 'Avengers' was awesome. So was the 'Dark Knight' series…'Ironman' 3 was pretty freaking epic…Yeah, the new 'Superman' was pretty okay-ish. I don't go online to check the reviews, dude. But, describing the new 'Superman' movie as a space opera is kind of good, right? It's like 'Star Wars', but with a guy wearing his underwear outside his tights, and his cape…"

She takes a step forward, having a sneaking suspicion who is talking and she is rewarded by Jesse sitting on a bench behind a big, trimmed bush, holding his iPad in his hands, chatting away to, of course, Benji. Or as they are wont to do when they get together or call or text or Skype, geek out, or outgeek each other. Jesse looks relaxed, something Beca realizes she hasn't seen him before. Maybe it has something to do with the way he is leaning back on the bench, arm on one side, wearing jeans and a loose, blue, worn Superman shirt. Beca can recognize that shirt anywhere. It's one of Jesse's favorite shirts. Jesse is smiling at the iPad, running his hand on his wavy hair. From where she is standing, she can see the faint hints of receding hairline, although he still looks as handsome and boyish as he did when she first saw him at Barden. He looks freshly showered, neat, clean, still every inch the All-American, boy-next-door guy, except for the fact that he's currently a recovering alcoholic and addict.

Beca speaks now, "Well, a nerd in the hand is worth two in the bush…"

Jesse turns as he hears Beca's voice, and despite himself, he starts to laugh, looking sheepish, as Beca says, "No, scratch that. Never mind. They're not worth anything. Hey."

Jesse nods, turns his tablet around so Beca can see Benji on the screen and Beca says, "Hey, Benji."

Benji smiles and says "Hi" back. Benji hasn't changed since their Barden days, is sitting hunched in front of his computer, in glasses and a shirt, waving at Beca.

"There are so many reasons Green Lantern sucks," she says now, stepping forward, addressing both Jesse and Benji with a smile. "Those Marvel films are insignificant. You've seen one, you've seen them all. They have all have the same basic template. 'Avengers' is like 'Transformers 3', except less nauseating. Ang Lee's Incredible Hulk is an anomaly. 'Watchmen' kind of sucked. 'Sucker Punch' kind of sucked, too. Zack Snyder is awful. He missed what 'Watchmen' was all about and wimped out on all the essential plot points that made the novels awesome. And the lesbian superhero got killed off. And it had that overly long, totally unnecessary sex scene that served no purpose whatsoever. 'Transformers' was just freaking _irritating_. And _really_ sexist and misogynist. And don't get me started on the 'Dark Knight' series. I mean, that trilogy is like, 'Oh, he's brooding and the film is all dark, how awesome!' And I still don't get the nerd love for 'Star Wars'. I mean, space operas, ugh. I get what's it all about but seriously, _guys_, that series is just…ugh, enough already. And Wolverine's adamantium balls? Seriously?" After she delivers this rant, she stops, confused, before she says, "Oh, my god, I just sounded like a total nerd. What's happening to me?"

Jesse and Benji do not know what to say as they both look at Beca.

"Okay, so I guess I've got to go now, but let me just say…only the modern Green Lantern is vulnerable to yellow. Golden Age Green Lantern was vulnerable to wood," Benji says now.

"So I can take both Green Lanterns out with a number two pencil?" Beca says.

"Ignoring that," Benji says, "As for the Star Wars obsession and whatever, you can't really separate that from the pop culture DNA of some people. It still holds up as an awesome series of movies. Yes, Lee's Hulk was an anomaly, but it was okay. Yes, the Watchmen film is admittedly a bit self-important and pretentious in some parts, and it's missed the whole point of the novels but it's still an entertaining and cautionary tale about power and responsibility. And Avengers is awesome. Although I guess we can both agree that Transformers was awful. I think the nerd herd likes some films but reject others because some films are just fundamentally bad, on all levels. And also? Space operas are _always_ a good thing."

As he finishes his speech, Jesse moves the iPad to himself and says, "Hey, I'd love to chat, but I've got to go now. See you soon."

"Yeah, definitely!" Benji says now. "Don't forget, we have that Dungeons and Dragons thing that we're supposed to do." When Jesse nods, Benji says, "See you on the outside!"

After they say their goodbyes, Jesse logs out of his Skype, stands up and looks at Beca. "Hey."

They stand there in awkward silence, not knowing what else to say to each other, before Beca hurriedly says, "What now?"

Jesse nervously shifts from one foot to the other. "Well, we're supposed to meet my counselor in there." And he points a finger to the main lobby. He then nervously puts a hand on the back of his head, and his neck, a sign that he's a bit anxious and nervous. "I mean, we don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, but yeah…"

Beca swallows and requests hurriedly that they forego the presence of a counselor and talk to each other privately instead.

"Are you sure?" Jesse says uncertainly.

"I promise I won't kick you in the 'nads," Beca says now, with a grin she hopes can put him at ease.

"Scout's honor?" Jesse asks, looking at her cautiously.

"Scout's honor."

Jesse nods before he grins and says, "I know just the place."

* * *

After Jesse informs the front desk where he and Beca are going, in a few minutes they are taking a walk through the woods, a canopy of trees above them, and forest floor of grass, bush, shrub, fallen leaves and twigs beneath their feet, and all around them, the sound of birds and insects, a soft breeze blowing between the leaves, the only witnesses to their conversation. The rays of the late morning sun pass through the trees, illuminating the landscape with something akin to a magical feeling, making everything look more vibrant and beautiful. Beca feels a bit tired, having left L.A. early to beat early morning traffic so she can make it to the counseling session, but despite her exhaustion the place seems to be renewing her as she stands there breathing fresh air and listening to nature sounds, both a rarity in L.A.

They start the conversation easily enough. Beca asks what life is like at "Safe Haven". Jesse says it is quite good, that it's pretty regimented, they wake up at seven in the morning for breakfast, have a brief meeting after breakfast about rehab concerns, laundry, food and so on, then everyone goes off to do homework such as their recovery plans, or meet their counselors for individual counseling, alone or with loved ones, lunch is at noon, then after lunch, they have lectures on the effect of drug and alcohol addiction to their physical, mental, social and psychological well-being, complete with very graphic photos that illustrate how the pancreas, the liver, and any other vital organ will look like after years of drug and alcohol abuse, then there's group counseling after, based on the twelve-step program, dinner is at seven in the evening, after which there is a movie showing and patients are then free to do what they want after. The food is great, Jesse says, lots of leafy greens and protein, and great, world-famous desserts, which "Safe Haven" has a reputation for. There is a swimming pool, a small gym, a library, an AV room, a serenity room, which Jesse says is a place where people go to for some peace and quiet, and some meditation.

They come to the edge of the woods, which gives way to a lake, and they stand at the edge, looking out at the tranquil lake, the few birds lazily flying up in the sky and the blue sky above. Looking up at the sky, and how blue it is, Beca is suddenly reminded of Chloe's eyes. The sky looks a lot like Chloe's eyes. She smiles to herself, remembering Chloe. It doesn't escape her that her heart somehow flutters slightly at the mere thought of Chloe's blue eyes, gazing into her own dark brown ones.

"And how are you finding it here?" Beca asks now, looking at Jesse from the corner of her eye.

Jesse looks at the lake for a while, before he looks at her and with a mock serious face, before he says, in a small voice, "Help me, I'm being kept here against my will."

Beca stops, stares up at him, confused, and Jesse's face looks impassive, expressionless, before he throws his head back and laughs.

Beca makes a face and makes to punch Jesse's shoulder, but Jesse avoids her just in time, making Beca almost lose her balance and Jesse catches her in time, and he says, "Hey, easy with the tiny fists, Beca. You promised no hitting. I am so going to tell."

Beca laughs before she rolls her eyes. "Whatever, Jesse."

They stand there, looking at each other, as Jesse lets go of Beca and Beca steps back, unsure of what to do or say. For a few awkward moments, they do not say anything. Jesse looks around and spots a large, dead tree trunk lying on the ground and sits down on it, looking out at the lake. Beca follows suit, sitting silently beside him. There is a silence that passes between them for a few moments.

Beca decides to skip the preliminaries and goes for the obvious.

"The only thing I want to know, Jesse, is why," Beca asks now. "Why Jesse? What happened? Why keep it from me?" Beca tries to make her tone neutral but she cannot really resist the hurt that escapes her tone as she struggles not to choke up.

Jesse is silent as he stares out at the lake. He is silent for so long Beca doesn't know if he's fallen asleep with eyes wide open, fallen catatonic or has decided the question doesn't merit an answer, so when he finally speaks up, it surprises Beca.

"It was just a lot of things, Beca," Jesse says softly, tiredly, in a resigned, almost defeated tone. "I mean…I was working crazy hours. At first I took some to stay awake for those late night shoots I do. But then I realize I needed to take some to let me sleep because I'd be on a high from work and would take me hours to get some sleep. And then sometimes, I'd hear some asshole dissing my performance or my face or whatever and I just couldn't deal with that, it would send me into a deep funk for days afterwards. The pills and the alcohol helped. But the thing was, I kind of started using more and more of the stuff, even when I didn't need to, just to get through the day. " He looks at Beca now. "The more I drank, the more I felt better, the more I felt good with myself, the more I think I can get through anything. I liked myself when I was drunk. I was fun, I was happy, I was the little kid who got the surprise X-Box and Play Station and Guitar Hero and Rock Band gift for Christmas."

Beca nods now, feeling a bit afraid. Because clearly, Jesse has more to say and she's not sure she wants to know the rest of it.

Jesse sighs now. "And there was just so much pressure to look good. I mean, since I've started acting, I've been on a diet for, like the past ten years, so I've basically been hungry for a decade. Sometimes, I'd look at photos of myself and stuff that I hardly recognize myself. And I think to myself, this isn't me. This isn't me at all. I mean, have you seen a photo of me lately, Beca? That's not me at all. I've got stuff skimmed off of my face, my arms, my neck, lines erased from my neck and chest and chin and _face_, and I've got white teeth and brighter eyes and crap, Beca, that wasn't me at all. Sometimes, I think being an actor is the most humiliating thing in the world. People cut your hair and pluck your brows and wax you and do these other stuff to you to make you something you're not. And I don't know, I'd had this particularly bad day during taping and one of the main actors was late and high and throwing a tantrum and we were waiting around the whole day for the shoot to start and there were fans outside hanging out outside and whenever they'd catch a glimpse of me or any of the others, they'd call us by our character names, and how fans, other people, can't seem to separate me from what I do, and I had this long discussion with myself about who I am _other_ than what I do and I wondered, if my job ended tomorrow, who would I be and I couldn't answer any of the stuff I brought up and it struck me how wildly unhappy I was."

He looks at Beca now. "And then the counselor was asking me who I was, like who I really was, in three words or less, and all I could think of was 'I'm an actor, I'm a singer, I'm an artist' and I hadn't realized it until the counselor pointed it out to me that I've defined myself based on my work. I'm nothing outside it. I don't have relationships. I have a freaking job, Beca. I _am_ my job."

Beca listens to him as he says these things, as if she isn't there at all, and then he looks up at her, stares at her for a long time, before he asks her, "I mean, Beca, if you were asked who you were, what would you say?"

There is a silence as Beca lifts her shoulders, holds it there, and shrugs, lifting her hands in surrender and confusion. She shakes her head, not knowing what to say.

"And then I heard the show was being cancelled and…."

"What? I thought it was going to be renewed for a couple of seasons at least," Beca says now.

"We thought so too," Jesse says. "Turns out it wasn't. They're cancelling the show."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Well, I guess it's good. I mean I've been meaning to try out other stuff, branch out, do more movies…it's been hard to make the leap from television shows to movies…"

Beca looks at Jesse now. "Jesse, I'm not TMZ or E! or whatever, you can totally be honest with me."

"Well, what do you think I feel? I'm freaking terrified, Beca. I don't know what I'm going to do," Jesse says. "I don't want to be one of those people who starts doing dancing shows or reality shows or whatever, because that's just…that's where you go when your career is going nowhere fast." Jesse stops, not knowing how to go on, before he says, "And I know I should have said something and that I shouldn't have kept it from you and I meant to, I really did, but I just kept putting it off until I got in too deep and it was too late to get out and here we are…"

Jesse looks at ground now, studying ants and other bugs crawling around on the ground for a few moments, before he takes a deep breath and says, softly, "Beca, the thing was…it hadn't been okay between us since…the operation…"

Jesse says this now with a bit of embarrassment in his voice. Beca knows what he is talking about. A few years ago, he'd found a lump in one of his gonads. He hadn't told Beca yet until he was sure, but after getting a second and a third opinion, it had been confirmed that there was a lump in his nether region. He'd undergone the operation after, and though it had turned out to be benign, their life hadn't been the same after. The experience had Jesse thinking about his own mortality and how precious life is, and so he'd started to actively campaign for them to have kids, but Beca hadn't been interested and had turned him down again and again and that had affected their relationship even more. Their physical relationship had suffered, too and they hadn't actually been intimate for years now. It hadn't been the same for both of them. Jesse couldn't get used to a missing appendage and it had felt emasculating and he just started to work longer hours, and opted to get projects that would take him out of state or out of the country. Beca had also begun to take on more DJ-ing gigs out of state and had accepted the occasional gig in London. The back-and-forth trips though were taking its toll on Beca and she had been feeling burned out, and that was the reason she hadn't been feeling like working lately.

When Beca starts to speak, Jesse holds up his hand and says, "No, it's okay, I'm over it now. I mean, I can deal with it now, but you have to understand why I'm bringing this up now."

Beca nods as Jesse takes a deep breath. "For the longest time, Beca, I think I've been kind of just…doing what I thought was best for both of us. I've always kind of pursued you, and I've always decided on stuff. I mean, you always defer to me, but I've never asked you before what you really wanted…"

When Beca starts to speak, Jesse holds up his hand to stop her from speaking. "Beca, please, listen," he says. "The first time I met you, I fell for you, right off the bat. Everything about you was perfect. And I just couldn't get you out of my head. And when you sang that song to me, during Nationals and kissed me after, I knew I was the happiest, luckiest man on earth." Then he looks at Beca now. "But I never doubted for a moment that when you met the right person for you, you'd leave me like a shot."

"Jesse…" Beca says, shaking her head. "That's not true."

"Listen, it's cool," Jesse says now, smiling sadly at her. "I'd had to live with that for the longest time. I know you loved me, in your own way, but it just wasn't in the kind of way I would have wanted you to love me…I mean, I want the passion, Beca. I want the romance. I want some girl who can't wait to see me and rip my clothes off. Sometimes, I feel like you just…settled, you know? And it felt like you married me because that seemed like the right thing to do, the logical thing to do, the noble thing to do, like you were obligated to do so out of respect for me. And when I got sick, I think you stayed out of an even deeper obligation. You were the wife standing by her man, and while I appreciate that unlike other women who would have left me just when I needed them the most, you stayed, I don't think I can't live anymore with the idea that you're just staying with me just because it's what's expected of you."

"And I guess…I guess what was tough about this was I knew for the longest time that I'd eventually lose you, that maybe I'm not the right one for you," Jesse says, sadly. "And that's been slowly killing us both, you know? It just…it took me so long to realize it, and even longer to do something about it. I guess I let it go on too long. I didn't want to hurt you. I was afraid I'd hurt you. But I think we were hurting each other anyway, by keeping each other from the happiness we both deserved."

When Beca starts to speak, Jesse adds, "And I think you weren't happy with me."

"I was happy…_am_ happy with you," Beca says, quickly correcting herself at the last minute.

"No, you're not," Jesse says with a sad smile on his face. "I mean, when was the last time you did a new mix? I mean, god, Beca, you kind of just hang out at home in your sweat suit twenty four seven…"

"That is so not true," Beca says.

"Yes it is," Jesse insists now. "Yes it is," Jesse says softly now. "I couldn't just…_drown_ with you anymore, Beca. Do you know how hard it is to be in love with someone who's been drowning the past few years and doesn't even know it?" Jesse sighs now. "I tried everything, Beca. I worked out, I kept myself fuzz free, I stayed healthy, I kept myself attractive and interesting, I even went to those workshops that teach you how to please your woman, and I read Cosmo for crying out loud. None of it worked. _None_. You'd look at me, and you didn't see me, Beca. Not really." Jesse sighs now. "Everything just came so easily for you. Music, singing? That came easily for you. It didn't for me. I'm not a good enough composer, Beca. And I'm okay with that. I tried, I tried to get a gig scoring movies, but as I sat there, trying to do my thing, I realized I couldn't. But you, you have so much potential Beca and you were just _squandering_ it."

Jesse now looks at Beca steadily, sadly, not breaking eye contact, eyes pooling with unshed tears, as he smiles.

"Think of this as me dishing some tough love," Jesse says now. "I think we both deserve to be happy, you know? And if you can't be happy with me, then I have to let you go, I have to get out of the way. Because that's what love is all about."

They look at each other now, wordlessly looking at each other, an understanding passing through them. Both nod and smile.

Jesse resumes walking and Beca follows. There is a companionable silence that is shared between them, in which neither needs to speak.

Beca looks at him now, feeling the affection surging for this man who had been her one time boyfriend, one time husband, and best friend, who had made the courageous decision that she couldn't do herself. He was right, of course. He was right about all of it. And her feelings of anger, hurt, betrayal, had more to do with her ego being hurt, rather than feeling wounded or pained by Jesse asking for a divorce from her. If truth be told, deep down, she had felt relieved that Jesse had the courage to ask for divorce, because she was never going to do it. She hadn't wanted to hurt Jesse. She hadn't wanted to see the very same pain she is seeing now in Jesse's eyes, the very same pain she had been causing him because their relationship had been stagnant for years now. She realizes now she had hurt Jesse anyway. She couldn't face the fact that she didn't love him anymore, or maybe didn't love him in the way she was supposed to love him, in the way romantic movies indicated they were supposed to love each other. He was right of course, the romance, if ever there was one, had fizzled out years ago and they had stayed with each other out of a sense of duty, a sense of loyalty and obligation to each other, more than anything else. She couldn't even begin to fathom what he had gone through, having to come to a decision like this, having to admit the relationship wasn't working, having to admit that the addictions he'd developed over the years had something to do with his unhappiness in their marriage, in how he had been living his life.

After a time, Beca says, "Jennifer seems nice."

Jesse smiles. "Yes, she is. But she's just a good friend. Nothing's going on between us. I'm serious. Nothing. And I didn't ask for a divorce from you because of her. It was way deeper than that."

Beca nods. "I'd like to meet her some time."

Jesse stops. "You mean that?"

Beca purses her lips and rolls her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. I mean, somebody else has to be listed as your next of kin. It can't be me."

Jesse only laughs. "We can totally be like Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, you know? The best of ex-es going out on double dates and stuff and…"

"Dude, _no_," Beca says. "That would be just too…surreal…"

Jesse stops now and looks at Beca. "But we can still be friends, yes? Because, no matter what happens, Beca, I will always love you. It's not just in the way we both probably knew when we were in college, but it's still love nonetheless."

Beca looks at him, uncertain, but Jesse has this boyish, hopeful, look on his face that makes Beca say, "Fine, we can still be friends."

Jesse grins. "Awesome. I can't have aca-children with you, but we can be aca-best friends, I can live with that."

Beca only grins and they resume walking.

"So, what about you? Are you seeing anybody?" Jesse asks casually now.

Beca shakes her head. "No."

"Beca, you've got to go out more," Jesse says now. "I mean, if the last time you've had any was with me, I think that's a pretty long time to go without sex."

Beca grimaces. "You are grossing me out right now. I'm starting to rethink this 'Let's-be-friends' thing we have."

Jesse chuckles. "What? It's a legitimate concern, Beca. You don't want to wake up one day with a dusty old uterus down there."

"Ass," Beca says now.

Jesse, unfazed, says, "I mean, have you at least been pleasuring yourself?"

Beca looks at him, blushes and says, "That is a cheap question and I won't answer it."

Jesse stops now, throws back his head and roars with laughter. As Beca just stares at him, perplexed, he continues to laugh.

"Jesse, you're scaring the little woodland creatures with your braying," Beca says. "And you are such an asshole. Ugh."

"You should at least promise to go out with some friends of mine," Jesse says now, as he puts his arm around her and leads her back to the center.

"Only if you promise me that they're going to _not_ be like you."

Jesse only laughs. "I'll try my best."

"I still love you, you know," Beca says now .

Jesse smiles. "Yeah, in a depressingly asexual way."

Beca laughs. "That's true."

"I mean, dude, I could do a dance with a lettuce leaf and you wouldn't have noticed a thing," Jesse says. "You know what that does to a man's ego?"

Beca smiles apologetically. "Sorry."

They stand in silence again, before Beca says, softly, concerned, "What are you going to do now?" When Jesse raises his eyebrows, in question, Beca says, "I mean, about work. Are you quitting acting or something?"

Jesse shrugs. "No, I don't think so. I mean, I hate it, but I kind of love it, too. I kind of enjoy it. The other day, my agent calls me telling me about this new singing slash reality show tentatively called 'The Sing Your Face Off' where actors and singers impersonate actual singers, with full make-up and wardrobe, and mimic vocal styles, choreography and persona during the competition. And I'm going to be up there with former soap stars and…you know…Jon Lovitz."

The two are silent before Beca says, "So do I need to prepare myself to see you in leotards singing Rihanna's 'Umbrella' or you know wearing Lady Gaga's ridiculous outfits and singing 'Pokerface'?"

Jesse laughs before he shrugs. "There's this audition that my agent is asking me to try out for but…I'm not sure."

"What's it about?"

"Um…you'll laugh, but it's actually for a lead in a television show, a superhero one, you know how Hollywood loves those," Jesse says now.

"Wow, that's cool." Beca tries to keep a straight face, before she smirks and says, "So, do I get to see you in tight, tight pants, shirtless and stuff?"

Jesse blushes. "They're asking me to play the 'Green Hornet'."

Beca makes a face. "Green Hornet? Wasn't the remake a black hole of suck?"

Jesse smiles. "Yeah, but this is going to back to its roots, it's going to be a television show again and stuff," he explains. "They're asking me to bulk up and work out, learn some jujitsu or whatever. I mean I haven't got the part yet, I still need to audition and stuff, but my agent said I have the anti-Seth Rogen look they're looking for. But it kind of freaked me out like, what if I get the part? I think my life's going to change, big time. I don't know if it's going to be a hit but they're getting the best directors and the best writers for it and…"

"I think you're going to be fine," Beca says now, smiling. "I, for one, would like to see you in a mask and a suit, pretending to fight and overacting your ass out."

Jesse smiles and shakes his head.

They spend the rest of what is left of the session just having idle conversation. Now that everything is out in the open, there is a freedom, a comfortableness between them, an ease with which they can talk to each other.

Jesse and Beca part both with smiles on their faces, looking like a heavy load, a load that's been on them for the past few years, has been lifted off their shoulders.

As Beca backs out of the parking lot, Jesse watches her and waves from the side of the building, nodding and smiling at her.

It takes a few more sessions for them to talk about Jesse's issues. In all the sessions, Jesse makes it clear that his relationship hadn't been the sole cause of his stress and anxiety, but that he does appreciate Beca going out of her way to visit him.

The last time she comes to visit him, right before he is released, he texts her when she gets home, and the text is from Rainer Maria Rilke, a poet that Jesse likes. The text reads, "It is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope. But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical will live the relation to another as something alive."

When Beca reads this, she smiles. She understands what Jesse is saying. She thinks maybe Jesse is right. She thinks maybe she and Jesse will be fine after all.

* * *

Beca encounters Rilke's quote again on Chloe's status update, months later, one random day Beca, who dislikes social networking sites, is online checking her emails.

Beca starts to actively seek out Chloe's profile on social networking sites where they are both connected, on facebook, on instagram, on twitter. She sometimes spends hours just browsing through photos Chloe has posted online, and she keeps coming back to those photos Chloe has of herself in Africa and India, finding herself staring at the photos, liking them, downloading them, and looking at them sometimes, when she is doing a mix or just feeling like she needs inspiration. She leaves comments on Chloe's online photo albums, essentially liking the photos and expressing admiration for Chloe's adventures and Chloe replies with a smiley face, thanking her for her comments.

Then Chloe starts leaving messages, emails and texts for Beca, short ones that just ask how Beca is, what she is doing, sometimes, asking and reminding Beca if she's eaten her meals yet, gently reminding her to grab a bite to eat or cut down on the Red Bulls. Beca doesn't know why, but these short messages she receives from Chloe makes her heart skip a beat. And then after that, she starts to look forward to these messages, messages received in the morning, after she wakes up, lunch, dinner and just before she goes to sleep.

Beca, for her part, starts to leave comments on Chloe's status updates. Chloe has a habit of posting quotes, and Beca finds the quotes alternately amusing and uplifting, strangely enough, quotes from poems such as "Invictus" ("I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul"), "Love is friendship caught on fire" (a quote from Bruce Lee that Beca recognizes only because Jesse and Benji had had a Bruce Lee phase) and Dale Carnegie quotes such as "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get", "Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success" and a Steve Jobs one about loving what you do in order to do great work.

At first, Beca puts "likes" on Chloe's status update quotes, but then Chloe posts the Rainer Maria Rilke quote, and it stops Beca in her tracks. The words seem to burn, to etch themselves into her mind's eye, and she remembers Jesse and what they talked about, and she's never been one for destiny and fate and connecting the dots and whether a quote that her ex-husband and now best friend now crops up on a person that she kind of, well, likes, although she is wont to go deeper into what exactly liking Chloe Beale means, but this quote strikes her as odd, and it leaps out of her laptop screen, jolting her, provoking her, making her stop and think and stare at the quote, then Chloe's pretty profile picture, for moments at a time. She doesn't know what to say, so she just likes the quote, and then later, she goes online to look for anything by Rainer Maria Rilke, and she finds a book of poetry and a small, thin volume called "Letters to a Young Poet" which she reads all night and which makes her even more or less confused, but she feels like there is supposed to be something she is supposed to know, to realize, to come to terms with, but she doesn't know what it is, or how to do it.

One of the things she realizes though is that, much to her horror, she really doesn't have regular friends she talks to these days, that the only time she actually sees anyone is when there's a major life event in her other friends' lives, such as weddings, baby showers and christenings, award shows and premieres, which she rarely goes to, except for lately, she's been feeling a bit nostalgic for the simpler days of just mixing music for the hell of it and competing in musical competitions when she was in college, and so she'd made an effort to go to Justin and Jessica's wedding. Cynthia Rose and Denise had sent her their wedding invite already, quite early, she thinks, since the wedding is at least not for another six months or so, but when she sees the venue, and that it is in Hawaii, she realizes why. Everyone would have to move heaven and earth to clear their schedules to attend the wedding. What she realizes mostly is that she misses friends, and that, oddly enough, she misses Chloe most of all, misses talking to her.

When Jesse had asked her how she would answer a question such as "Who are you outside your work?" Beca realizes that she would have had the same answer as Jesse, that she would have probably answered that she is a DJ, maybe a musician, an artiste, nothing more, that much like Jesse, her relationships are defined by her job, not her personal relationships, that she is _her_ job. And the one thing that had left a deep impression on her was a broken, defeated Jesse confessing his depression to her, in the woods, right after he's admitted an addiction to pills and alcohol to cope with the stress of a marriage on the rocks and a job that has increasingly gotten more and more stressful as the years had gone by. She had felt guilty, had felt responsible for Jesse's slow descent into addiction and depression. At one point, Jesse had described her as shut down emotionally, and though Beca had balked at his description of her, and had walked out and refused to talk to him for days, it had made Beca think about it and wonder about whether she really is emotionally shut down and incapable of forming meaningful relationships like Jesse had claimed. The thing is, Beca had always been a loner, the outsider always looking in, the one who never fit anywhere, the one who never belonged. It had been born out of being a child of a divorce gone awry, of being the receiving end of a bitter custody battle, of shuttling from one part of the country to the next, and she'd spent most of her childhood and teenage years being full of rage and bitterness. And lonely. Mostly lonely. What she remembers most is the loneliness. The aloneness. Maybe she'd stayed with Jesse because at first he helped with the loneliness, the predictability, but she felt that she was still as lonely as when she was alone. She sometimes wonders nowadays, if they ever actually stayed together out of obligation and a sense of it being the right thing to do, if she ever really did love Jesse, because if she didn't, then it was a devastating truth that she had never really been truly in love, had never really known what it was like to love someone, and that, she knows, is probably the saddest thing ever. Sometimes though, she thinks love is overrated, that really, love is just some capitalist idea the upper class shove down the poorer classes throat, like a cheap trick they sell to give the illusion that life is worth living for.

She had been in the middle of one of these introspective things when Jesse calls her to ask her how she is and when she had been evasive, Jesse had suggested that she go to a counselor herself, if she wanted someone to talk to, since she didn't have friends outside Jesse. Beca had been angry, then horrified, then upset, at Jesse's suggestion, but after much thinking she_ does_ go to a counselor but finds their sessions a pointless waste of her time and resources and so she cuts the sessions short.

However, she does go out of her way to keep in touch with friends, and mostly Chloe.

From the likes and comments on facebook, and the quotes, Chloe and Beca start calling each other.

It starts innocuous enough. Chloe had posted a cryptic message about work that Beca posts a question mark to. Chloe had a replied with a smiley face that Beca replies, "Hope you're okay."

Before Beca knows it, Chloe is online, video calling her, telling her about her day at work, how exhausting it is, how the people that she had fired had cried, shouted, threatened, begged, blabbered on and on about having husbands or wives or kids or mortgage and car payments, or having to put kids through school or having health problems and how could Miss Beale just sit there looking all fresh and detached, knowing that she has just destroyed their life. In fact, Chloe says, she had been encountering these kinds of problems with people in her line of work more and more these days.

"I hate my job sometimes," Chloe had grumbled.

"Join the club," Beca had said with a smile. That makes Chloe smile as well. Beca had been surfing online, but then she sees something online, and she says, "Oh, but if you really hate your job, you can check this out. One, write down your twenty main pleasures in life, two, write down ten ways to make money from your pleasures and three, explore one of these ways, trying it out, if you can, in reality."

They had spent the rest of the night writing down things that they both liked. They obviously both like music, books, movies and television shows, something they already know from having shared an apartment together at Barden, a little detail both are wont to bring up or even discuss, skirting the issue of why Chloe had left in the first place.

While they discuss these things, Chloe says, "I also like sex" which makes Beca blush and almost choke on the Red Bull she is drinking and "I also like movie and television show soundtracks" and Beca doesn't know it, but she laughs and shakes her head and says, "Of course you do", which makes Chloe confused, making her ask what Beca is laughing at, but Beca refuses to explain. They try to figure out how to make money from their pleasures, and how to explore ways on how to pursue their interests. The talk and many of the other talks that they have later, take them the whole night to do so and neither one realizes that it is already dawn until Beca glances at her window and she sees light out.

But it is not the only instance when they actually spend the whole night discussing. After a while, Chloe would tell her where she was - Portland, Atlanta, Minneapolis, Detroit, Dallas, D.C., Seattle, San Francisco. After a while, Beca starts to look forward to these calls, too, and when there are days in which Chloe doesn't call her, Beca actually starts to freak out, wondering where Chloe is, wondering whether she's stuck in an airport or hotel or something in the middle of nowhere. And the anxiety builds and builds as Beca sits beside the phone, or does her mixes on her laptop, or works at the various clubs she works in, but Chloe always calls, right before Beca sleeps, or right after Beca wakes up, or sometimes in the middle of the night, just chatting with Beca. Beca is always relieved when Chloe calls her. She knows at least that Chloe is safe. She finds that she worries more about Chloe than she really should.

Chloe actually makes it a point to see her when she's in L.A. but considering how busy she is, it is rare and far between, but they call and text whenever they can. Once, unable to sleep, she calls Chloe. She had made a mistake with the time difference between L.A. and New York, so much so that she had woken Chloe up because it was late evening in L.A. but it was early morning in New York and Chloe had been sleeping in a random hotel room after a long day consulting with a company and its employees and a lecture at the hotel's conference room after but Chloe had been very game about it.

They chat with each other and Chloe tells her about her aca-awesome view of the New York City skyline from her hotel room and she ends up showing Beca through a video conference call, her view from her hotel room.

Beca whistles. "Wow, that _is_ awesome."

"Yeah, it's pretty aca-awesome!" Chloe says now.

"Chloe, not that I don't like all this aca-stuff you like to do, but can you use other words instead of aca-awesome?" Beca asks now.

"What, like aca-excellent?"

"Or aca-brilliant," Beca says now. "Or maybe aca- amazing, aca-fantastic, aca-marvelous, aca-cool…or…"

"Or aca-swell? Aca-groovy? Aca-far out?" Chloe asks hopefully.

Beca laughs now. "Seriously, Chloe, get some more up-to-date expressions."

Chloe chuckles. "Whatever." She is about to say something, but then her mobile phone rings, and she holds up her hand, smiles apologetically at Beca and answers the phone. "Oh, hey, gran."

While Beca waits for the conversation to end, she leans back and starts to idly surf the internet for nothing in particular. When the conversation ends, Chloe moves to the camera again, and says, "Sorry about that. It's my gran. She wants to go to L.A. and she wants me to show her around or something. So we're coordinating our schedules. She lives in Hawaii. She doesn't like L.A. but she wants to see the place."

Beca starts to ask Chloe about her grandmother, and Chloe is surprised, then delighted, that Beca is interested, so she tells Beca about her grandmother's name, Virginia Jones, and how she had lived a very Bohemian life, and had joined a commune and a nudist colony back in the 1960s, and had made her mom read Marx and Lenin and Trotsky and a lot of Zen books and so on before it was fashionable and acceptable. Mrs. Jones had also joined the Civil Rights movement, had joined rallies for the Women's' Movement, had supported Stonewall, had even joined one or two protests against Wall Street.

Chloe mentions that her grandmother has been having difficulties with her reservations at a hotel and Beca finds herself offering her guest room for Chloe and her grandmother. They argue at first about it, but Chloe eventually agrees, on the condition that they only stay for the night and spend the next day in a hotel.

* * *

Sometimes, they just call each other to talk about random stuff. One time, Beca calls her to complain about the dates that Jesse has fixed her up with. There's the guy who describes himself as a "self-defacing guy", another guy who claims he is a "fruitarian" and believes "fruits have feelings", claiming that the carrot in the salad they had ordered had been murdered. He insisted on only eating things that have, in fact, fallen from a tree and demanded that he be served a "transcendent hamburger". The problem was that the restaurant did not serve transcendent hamburgers, nor did the actual burger exist. Another guy had said he believes in alien unicorns and still another liked playing with himself. After the last date, Beca swore she would never go on a date with anyone ever again. They had quite a good laugh about it.

Once, Beca reads Chloe's update, something about papers and stories and beating deadlines and the next time she calls Chloe, she asks what papers Chloe is working on.

"Is there some annual H.R. conference where all the consultants go to to discuss the proper ways in which to hire and fire employees without getting death threats?" Beca asks now, interested.

Chloe laughs. "Well, there are actually actual H.R. conferences where people do discuss stuff like that."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. We also discuss new software and apps we can use to help us with our work, such as risk analysis and efficiency apps and employee performance evaluation apps and stuff like that," Chloe says now.

"Sounds really boring."

Chloe smiles into the screen. "Well, it's definitely something. But the paper isn't for work."

"No?" Beca asks now, looking interested as she leans over to peer at Chloe over at the screen.

"No," Chloe confirms. "It's actually for…" here Chloe hesitates, smiling sheepishly before she looks at Beca with her blue, blue eyes and says, "Promise you won't laugh…"

Beca grins. "I promise."

Chloe nods. "It's for…class actually." When Beca raises her eyebrows in question, Chloe pauses and says, "It's… for this online course I'm taking."

Beca is silent, waiting for Chloe to go on. But when Chloe refuses to add more information, Beca says, impatiently, "Well, come on, out with it, what kind of course is it?"

"Well, I'm studying for a degree in teaching," Chloe says, a little shyly.

Beca smiles. "Wow, that sounds awesome."

"Thanks," Chloe says with a smile, looking relieved.

They are silent for a few seconds, before Beca remembers something. "You said you were writing something. What are you writing?"

"It's…" She stops, hears a phone buzzing and stops. "Sorry…" she says, putting her hand up, and answering the phone. "Oh, hey, Bradley, what's up?" She listens, stops, talks a bit more, before she says, "Um, Beca? Sorry, I have to take this call, and I have to do some other stuff…Sorry…"

Beca shakes her head. "That's fine. I have to do some…stuff, too."

Chloe nods, looking apologetic, but then an idea seems to hit her because she reminds her, "Oh, my gran and I'll be in L.A. again, like, in a few weeks. I'll come in early. Do you want to go to lunch with me? There's this vegan slash vegetarian slash Mexican fusion restaurant called 'Hobo' that I've been meaning to check out. They have this vegan Reuben I want to check out."

"You're vegan?" Beca asks.

"No, but I sometimes eat some vegan and vegetarian food 'cause they're healthy," Chloe says. "My favorites are the ones in New Jersey, but San Francisco has some good vegan vegetarian stuff. I've been meaning to check out the L.A. stuff. Apparently 'Hobo's food is amazing, and the décor is really, really impressive and stuff."

"Okay, 'Hobo' it is," Beca says, smiling.

"Awesome," Chloe says. "It's a date! I'll call you when I get there, yeah?"

"Okay."

* * *

On the day that Chloe comes to L.A., Beca goes to the airport to pick her up, and when she sees her amongst the sea of people, a vision with long, wavy red hair, blue silk blouse that compliments the bright blue of her eyes, over which she has worn a dark, blue suit, dragging a dark luggage behind her, Beca grins and starts to excitedly walk towards her. Chloe sees her and starts to weave through the endless sea of human traffic, making a run for it at the last minute so that they meet in the middle of airport and Beca crashes into Chloe and they almost fall back, but Chloe reaches out and holds Beca by the shoulders and clutches her and grins.

"Hey, Beca," Chloe says now, with a grin on her face. Then before Beca can say anything, she grabs Beca and embraces her.

It surprises Beca so much that she stands there, not knowing what to do, feeling the river of humanity flow around them, jostling them, bumping against them, staring at them, and at first Beca feels a bit shy, embarrassed, self-conscious, but then she becomes more aware of Chloe's presence, her warmth, her beating heart against Beca's chest and then she hears Chloe murmur against Beca's hair, "I've missed you. I don't know why, but I couldn't wait to see you."

Beca doesn't know how to answer that, but she feels her own heart start to beat fast against her chest, feels like butterflies have started to beat their wings in her stomach and start flying around in her chest, and then she feels like the breath has been knocked out of her, and she doesn't know what possesses her to answer Chloe back, and to say what she says then, but she says, "I missed you, too. I'm glad you're here."

So they stand there holding each other, before they realize that they are in an airport, with lots of people and they reluctantly pull away from each other, and Chloe smiles at Beca, hooks her arm in Beca's arm and they leave the airport, arm in arm, Chloe occasionally leaning over to whisper something in Beca's ear and Beca feels Chloe's breath against her ear and she shivers, feels a jolt of something electric pass through her body and she smiles and looks at Chloe, who smiles back at her.

All the way to the restaurant and during lunch of vegetarian sandwiches and salad, they catch up on each other's lives, Chloe telling her about her job, Beca about her job, she had gone back to being a DJ but has been feeling increasingly restless and dissatisfied, she tells Chloe about Jesse and how Jesse has been out of rehab for months now and is doing well. At about this time, Jesse texts her to inform her that he had gotten that "Green Hornet" audition he'd been telling her about, and Beca tells her this to Chloe's amusement.

"He's coming by later, but knowing Jesse, he might not," Beca says now.

At about this time, Chloe's phone buzzes a lot during this time, so much so that the nth time the phone buzzes, Beca can't help but say, "What? Is that your friend _Bradley_ again?", trying to sound casual and not annoyed as she uses air quotes when she says the word "Bradley". Chloe only smiles and shakes her head and does not offer anything else.

They talk some more until it is time to pick Chloe's grandmother up from the airport. They leave for the airport after.

* * *

They make it in time to the airport, after much weaving through traffic, they are making their way through the LAX crowd of arrivals, craning necks and straining eyes to see a couple of old people shuffling their way through the hustle and bustle of LAX. The airport is an ocean of people, each one surrounded by luggage and backpacks which everyone holds on to for dear life. There is the constant buzz of people chatting, shouting, laughing, saying hellos and goodbyes, as an impersonal voice announced arrivals and departures and cancellations over everything. The airport is massive, bright, shiny, tiled, and a mass of complete confusion.

Beca stares and stares until her eyes hurt, unable to spot the old woman that Chloe has described. But after about half an hour, Chloe's eyes brighten up and she grins and she starts to jump up and down and wave her hands in the air, shouting, "Gran! Gran!"

As Chloe rushes up to the old, sixty-ish woman with the white-gray hair in the sweat suit and fanny pack holding hands with another older woman, Beca smiles, not knowing what to do as she digs her hands into the pockets of her jeans and stands hunched, in the back, smiling sheepishly and awkwardly at the display of affection in front of her. Her family hasn't been one for public displays of affection, and except for that one time she had kissed Jesse on the lips during the ICCA in New York, she hadn't let herself show public displays of affection again. It hadn't been her thing.

As Beca watches, Chloe comes with her grandmother and the other older woman, in tow and she smiles as Chloe introduces her to Beca.

"Hey, Beca, come meet my gran, Virginia Jones, and her best friend, gran Tawny Robinson," Chloe says now, with a wide grin on her face.

At first Beca is confused, before she realizes that Chloe's grandparents are together, and even though she tries not to gape at the couple, who just look, to the ordinary, untrained eye, are just the best of friends.

"Oh, yes, honey, we're together," Chloe's grandmother says, before she leans over, and whispers, with a wink and a smile, "In _every_ sense of the word."

"_Gran!_" Chloe says now, blushing. "It's not true. She's just pulling your leg."

Mrs. Jones chuckles. "Aw, Chloe, sweetie, how do you know I'm not pulling her leg?"

"Because you're sloshed to the gills from airline wine, hon," Mrs. Robinson, the other woman, says. "Hi, Beca, I'm Mrs. Robinson, Mrs. Jones' best friend."

"Aw, ruin my fun, why don't you?" Mrs. Jones says dejectedly at Mrs. Robinson. "I'd have wanted to try out my granddaughter's lifestyle."

At this, Chloe blushes, and she mutters, "It is _not_ a lifestyle."

"Yes, yes, it isn't," Mrs. Jones says now, with a wink at Beca. She turns to Beca now and asks, "I dare say you might swing both ways, no?"

It is Beca's turn to blush furiously, before her mouth opens and she doesn't know what to say, before she starts to vigorously shake her head and say, "Um, no. No, I don't."

"Ah, that's too bad," Mrs. Jones says. "I think you'd be a great match for my Chloe. Are you single?"

"_Gran!_" Chloe says a bit louder now, her blush growing deeply. "She just said she doesn't swing like that. You promised you wouldn't embarrass me."

Mrs. Jones grins, before she shakes her head and says, "Oh, Chloe, come off it, I'm sure she doesn't mind. I mean there must be a reason you keep coming back to this heathen city of decadence. Coming back to see this nice young woman seems like as good a reason as any. I mean she already looks much nicer than that boy we met, Bradley whatsisface? That ferret-faced boy who had ears like a taxi cab with all the doors open and cheeks like a clutch bag?"

"Dick or Bradley or something the third," Mrs. Robinson supplies.

Mrs. Jones makes a face. "I don't trust anyone with a numeral in his name. And a name that has dick and wiener in it."

"Gran, he doesn't actually have 'dick' in his name," Chloe says now, blushing.

Mrs. Jones grins. "Whatever. I don't trust any man with manicured fingernails and perfectly plucked eyebrows. He goes to Africa a few months and he thinks he's the smartest in the world, when in truth, he's still wet behind the ears and he just thinks with his elbows. And he's a _Republican_. A Republican, I tell you! If Earl could see Chloe now, associating with Republicans, he'd just about turn over in his grave!"

"Claire!" Mrs. Robinson chides her. "Behave yourself."

"What?" Mrs. Jones says now. "I'm just saying you can't trust someone who hunts deer or quails for sport during open season." She then looks at Chloe now and says, "And if you marry him, you'll be like, Chloe Bowie. Chloe _Bowie_. Ugh. That's a horrible name."

Mrs. Jones now looks at Beca and says, "What's your name, young lady?"

"Um, Beca," Beca answers.

Mrs. Jones looks at her like she's grown an extra head and impatiently demands, "You're full name, Beca, you're full name!"

"Um, Beca Mitchell, ma'am," Beca answers.

Mrs. Jones smiles at her in satisfaction and says, "Chloe Mitchell. Now _that_ has a good ring to it."

"I think Beca would have to propose first before we start shipping their names," Mrs. Robinson says. She turns to Beca and asks, "That's what you're calling it nowadays, right?" She then turns to Mrs. Jones and says, "We don't even know if they're dating. At least I don't think they are. Are you?"

She turns to Beca, then Chloe, with eyebrows raised in question and both blush and shake their heads at the same time.

"Well, there you go," Mrs. Robinson says. "And also, I think young people can keep their maiden names now. Or hyphenate them. Chloe looks like she hyphenates."

"Chloe Beale-Mitchell," Mrs. Jones says, pausing, trying out the name for size. She pauses, thinks about it, before she says, "I like it." She then looks at Chloe and says, "When are you settling down anyway, Chloe? You're getting too long in the tooth to not want to settle down. You don't want to have a dusty old uterus down there."

"Beca, are you going to Cynthia Rose and Denise's wedding in Hawaii?" Mrs. Jones asked now. "Chloe recommended they go to Hawaii for their wedding. She'd also recommended Justin and Jessica go to Hawaii for their honeymoon. If you're going, there's still enough time for you two to, as you kids nowadays say, hook up."

Mrs. Jones then looks at a blushing, suddenly shy and embarrassed, speechless Chloe and says, "Now, let me look at you with my own eyeballs." She holds Chloe, who is a couple of inches or so taller than her, by the shoulders and looks at her, before she shakes her head and says, "My god, you're getting thinner. Aren't you eating well? It's this stupid vegan vegetarian crap you are eating. They are not good for you. If you just got some meat inside of you, that would be _swell_."

"Gran, it's fine, I'm okay," Chloe mutters now, as she moves to extricate herself from Mrs. Jones' grip and moves to get Mrs. Jones' luggage.

When Mrs. Jones moves and almost trips, she exclaims, "Whoopsie daisy!" and Beca grins. Chloe only glares at her as she leads the way out of the airport.

When Beca moves to offer to carry the luggage, Mrs. Jones grins and says, "Oh, she's a keeper, this one."

Chloe blushes as she says her grandmother's name softly again.

Beca only grins.

* * *

Beca drives them all home to her apartment to deposit their luggage and freshen up and get some rest.

As the two older women get some rest, a knock on the door surprises Beca. When she opens it, it is Jesse, grinning and happy as he bounds into the foyer and gives Beca a great, big hug and a bunch of flowers.

"You are looking at the new Green Hornet!" Jesse announces. "I'm clean and sober and I feel like celebrating!"

"Ugh, Jesse, that's great, but I hope we're not celebrating with wine or anything," Beca says now.

"Naw," Jesse says, "I thought maybe we could celebrate by going to the movie house, they're doing an Alfred Hitchcock retrospective and…"

Chloe appears from the kitchen, looking uncertain and curious and when she sees Jesse, she says, softly, "Oh hey, Jesse, what's up?"

Jesse drops his hands from Beca's shoulders and says, sheepishly, "Oh, hey Chloe, what's up?"

Chloe shrugs, "Nothing much."

Jesse looks at Beca now, looking awkward. "Sorry, I didn't know you had company…but you never have anyone over…you're kind of like a bag lady of this neighborhood…you could buy a cat and it would complete the whole picture and…"

Beca reaches up and hits Jesse on the back of the head. "Ass. I do too have company over."

Jesse looks at her and grins, confidently. "No, you don't. Ever." When Beca tries to speak, Jesse says, "I should go, I didn't mean to…"

"No, no, stay," Chloe says now, smiling at Jesse. "I should go…"

"Go where?" Mrs. Jones asks now, coming out of the guest room with in tow. "Are you leaving? Because that's not what we agreed on. We agreed you would get laid come hell or high water!"

Chloe starts to blush furiously now, as she moves to make Mrs. Jones stop. "Gran, _please_."

"I mean, you work so much it's a wonder you haven't keeled over or something," Mrs. Jones says now, in a voice that is laced with concern. "If the world ended tomorrow, or if you were to die today, what would you rather be doing?"

Jesse starts to grin at Mrs. Jones and looks at Beca from the corner of his eye as he says, "What a coincidence, I've been trying to get Beca laid for quite some time now."

Mrs. Jones smiles and says, "I've been telling Chloe to hook up or get hitched soon. Don't want a dusty old uterus down there!"

Jesse grins and says, "That's what I was saying! I was just telling that to Beca!"

He doesn't even see it coming as a blushing Beca steps on his foot and hits him on the shoulder.

"Ow!" Jesse says now.

Mrs. Jones smiles. "I like you. Now if we could only get these two together that would be _swell_."

Jesse grins even more. "It would be so _groovy!_" He then looks at Beca and Chloe and says, "Although I doubt Chloe would dig Beca. If she had, they'd hooked up a _long_ time ago. I mean, all the groups on campus agreed Chloe's like the hottest singer on campus."

Suddenly, Mrs. Jones starts to sneeze.

"What's wrong, gran?" Chloe asks now.

"Are there any flowers in the room?" Mrs. Robinson asks. "Virginia is allergic to flowers."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Jones," Beca says.

Jesse grabs the flowers and announces, "Deflower the room!"

"Now that is a word you wouldn't expect to use in that context!" Mrs. Jones says, whilst sneezing. When Jesse gets rid of the flowers, Mrs. Jones says, "Thank you. Are you doing anything today, young man?"

Jesse shakes his head. "Nope, not really."

Mrs. Jones. "That's wonderful! Come join us. Beca and Chloe are supposed to show us around L.A. We'd love some more company."

"I…wouldn't want to intrude or…"

"Oh, come off it, Jesse, it's fine, I'm sure the girls wouldn't mind," Mrs. Jones says now.

* * *

In a few minutes, the group is squeezed in Beca's tiny car, Beca and Chloe at the back with Mrs. Robinson, with Jesse driving and Mrs. Jones sitting beside him.

"So, you're an actor, huh?" Mrs. Jones asks Jesse now

Jesse says, "Yep."

"I heard actors make ghastly money. What was the last movie you were in?" Mrs. Jones says now.

"Argo," Jesse says.

Mrs. Jones says, "Never heard of it."

As Jesse only nods, concentrating on the traffic, Mrs. Jones asks, "Did you identify with the character you played in the movie?"

Jesse says, "No. Not really."

Mrs. Jones asks, curious, "Why not?"

"Because the character was a psychopathic flesh-eating zombie."

"Oh," Mrs. Jones says now.

Chloe, who is pressed close to Beca in the backseat, smiles and turns to Beca, who is rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Chloe's hand is on Beca's thigh and she is idly tracing circles on it and Beca, who has always thought herself not ticklish in the slightest, shifts a little, feeling jolts of electricity shoot up from her thigh where Chloe has touched her.

Mrs. Jones now speaks up. "Who did you enjoy working with the most?"

"Um, Steve, I guess."

"McQueen?" Mrs. Jones asks.

"Soderbergh, actually, he's like every actor's dream."

"And who did you hate working with the most?" Mrs. Jones asks now.

"Uh, Michael, I guess."

"Jackson?" Mrs. Jones asks.

"Don't be ridiculous," Mrs. Robinson says now. "He means Michael J. Fox."

"It's actually Michael Bay," Jesse says. "Well, I can't decide between Michael Bay or James Cameron."

"And who was the most interesting person you worked with?"

"Um, I guess Leonardo…?"

Mrs. Jones says, "Da Vinci…?"

Jesse says, "Um, Di Caprio…"

Mrs. Jones says, "Leonardo Di Caprio. And is he your favorite Italian director?"

Mrs. Robinson, who is the quieter of the two, now laughs, leans over and says, "Honey, Leonardo di Caprio is an actor. We saw one of his movies where he shows his bottom. Do you remember? What was the name of the movie again?"

"Titanic?" Jesse offers.

"His dick?" Mrs. Jones says.

"His bottom?" Mrs. Robinson asks.

Jesse blushes. "I meant, the name of the movie, is it 'Titanic'?"

They see Mrs. Jones make a face in the mirror as she says, "I'm not sure. Oh, I think I remember the movie. His behind was as smooth as a baby's bottom." She turns now to Mrs. Robinson and says, "I don't trust men with behinds that are as smooth as a baby's bottom."

Beca bites her lower lip now, trying not to smile as Chloe herself smiles.

"Was that his own bottom he used, in the movie?" Mrs. Robinson asks. "I hear sometimes they don't."

"I'm not sure, but yeah, sometimes they use butt doubles for those butt takes. We call them stunt bottoms," Jesse casually says now.

"Have you done butt work, too?" Mrs. Robinson asks now.

"Um, no," Jesse says. "My ex-wife didn't like it. So I had like nudity clauses and stuff. I'm allowed to show only one ass cheek at a time. But now I can show both."

Chloe smiles, looks at Beca quizzically and raises her eyebrows in question. Beca only rolls her eyes. She leans over now to Chloe now and whispers, "Gross. He's a _dick_." Chloe softly laughs at this comment and squeezes her thigh.

"I heard that," Jesse says.

"Oh, I'm sure you have the nice firm buttocks for any movie that requires either cheek to be exposed, young man," Mrs. Jones says now.

Beca and Chloe make a face as they look at each other, whilst Jesse says, "Thanks!"

"So what was Leonardo Di Caprio like?" Mrs. Robinson asks now.

Jesse shrugs. "Oh, he was okay. Very professional. I guess. He had a tattoo. On his arm."

Mrs. Jones asks, "Was it big?"

"His arm?"

"No, his dick. Of course, his tattoo."

"It was small-_ish_," Jesse replies. Then he dons a fake Yoda accent, and quotes from Star Wars, "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"

"Oh, I'm sure you young people think size is all that matters," Mrs. Jones says now with a smile. She then asks, "What was the tattoo made of?"

Beca leans over to Chloe now and whispers, in her ear, "Oh my god, this is the weirdest most surreal thing I have ever been in."

* * *

Jesse shows the elderly couple around L.A., showing them the Hollywood Walk of Fame, downtown L.A., MacArthur Park, the Griffith Observatory and the Hollywood Sign.

"I can't believe I'm coming here again," Beca mutters now, annoyed, as she follows the elderly couple and Jesse, who are chatting with each other up the trail.

Chloe is walking beside her and is also as out of breath as she is. "I know, right?" Chloe says before she casually grabs Beca's hand and pulls her up the road.

After photos are taken, Jesse drives them to a restaurant downtown, they all have dinner and he drives them back to Beca's apartment, where he turns down a nightcap because, as he says, he has an early day the next day.

* * *

Later in the night, Chloe and Beca find themselves sharing the same bed again. After showering and checking emails and having settled down for the evening, they lay in silence, side by side, looking up at the ceiling, bedside light dimmed, half-illuminating the room, before Beca says, "So, teaching huh?"

Chloe looks to her now, shrugs, thinks about it for a few moments, before she answers, "Yeah. I think I'd like to teach kids or something. I like kids."

Beca nods and says, "Cool. Funnily enough, I think you'd be perfect for teaching."

"Really?" Chloe asks.

"Yeah, I think you'd totally make some kind of valuable contribution to kids," Beca says now.

"Thanks," Chloe says now, smiling. "You like kids?"

"No, not really," Beca says now.

Chloe stares her, mock pouts, jokingly saying, "Aaww, that is like, so sad. But I want kids, honey…"

Beca looks at her, confused, not knowing what to say, before Chloe bursts out laughing and says, "Just kidding."

Beca only rolls her eyes and says, leaning over, "You said you were writing something? Like a story?"

Chloe nods and grins, before she says, "Yes, and I'm never going to tell."

"Chloe," Beca whines. "No fair. Come on, tell me."

"Oh, you'll _really_ laugh," Chloe says now.

Beca grins. "I promise I won't." When Chloe only shakes her head and puts her hands to her face, Beca grins even more, finding the gesture so very Chloe and so adorable at the same time. "Oh, my god, Chloe. Are you writing fan fiction or something? Are you writing fan fiction for 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?"

Chloe only mock glares at Beca and says, "I hate you" as Beca starts to laugh, before Chloe says, mock offended, "And no, I am not writing fan fiction for 'Fifty Shades of Grey'."

Beca holds up her hands in mock surrender and says, "Okay, okay. Well, what are you writing then?"

It takes a few moments of Beca pestering Chloe about what she is writing before Chloe sighs and says, "Alright, alright, it's…" Chloe hesitates before she says, "I'm writing a story."

Beca knits her eyebrows and frowns in confusion. "A story?"

"Yeah, I know, I know, it's lame," Chloe says now, covering her face with her hands again. "I mean, god, what was I thinking, right? It's so stupid and ridiculous and I know you're going to make fun of me for doing so, but I'm not planning to get it published or anything and it's just for me, okay? It makes me happy and it's a really great way to let off steam and…"

Beca cuts her off mid-sentence. "What's it about?"

"Well, it's a children's story actually," Chloe mumbles now. When Beca asks her to speak louder, she repeats the sentence, a bit shyly. "I thought you were going to say it was lame. But I enjoy it, so."

"Dude, my dad thinks being a DJ is lame," Beca says now. "But, hey, prose before bros, right?"

Chloe laughs and nods.

"So what's the title of your story?"

"The Day After Yesterday."

Beca, stops, thinking about this, before she says, "You mean, today."

Chloe says, "Um, yeah."

Beca says, "Cool. You could have like a sequel to your book. It could be like, 'The Day After Today', which is like tomorrow and 'The Day Before Today' which is yesterday."

Chloe stares at her, pouting. "Now you're just making fun of me."

Beca chuckles. "A little bit."

"I hate you."

"You love me," Beca says now, jokingly.

Chloe raises her eyebrows in mock resignation. "I…" She stops, sighs and says, "Yeah, I actually do. Damn it, Beca. It's those ear monstrosities, and all that eyeliner. It's such a turn on."

Beca rolls her eyes. "Whatever. I'd love to read your story."

"For serious?"

"Yeah," Beca says, settling back on her chair.

Chloe considers this for a moment, before she smiles and says, "Okay, but only on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You have to show me what mix you're working on, too. It seems only fair."

After much arguing, Beca acquiesces to send Chloe the new mix she has been working on. "Alright, maybe later, I'll show you. It's nowhere near finished, but I promise, when I'm done you'll be the first to hear it."

Chloe nods and grins and starts to yawn and she says, "Okay. I guess we can call it a night now. Good night, Beca."

Beca nods whilst Chloe settles down on her side of the bed, lying on Beca's right . Beca turns her light off and leans over to turn the light off on Chloe's side as well. As she does so, she realizes that she is on top of Chloe, that Chloe is gazing up at her in the half-darkness, that she is so close she can smell the distinctive fragrance of Chloe, and she doesn't know, but she hesitates, finding herself gazing back at Chloe, mesmerized, and her heart starts to flutter as she looks at the other woman, beautiful and looking at her differently, like she is trying to say something. Beca swallows, feeling unsure, realizing she's been staring too long at Chloe, hovering above her for what seems like forever. She realizes Chloe has instinctively put her hand on Beca's waist, to steady her, and the hand absently rubs Beca's waist gently and Beca feels it again, what Chloe's touch does to her, making her skin buzz with energy, with something electric, hand warm and soft against her. Beca hesitates, and Chloe's other hand goes to the small of Beca's back, fingers drifting beneath the hem of Beca's shirt.

Chloe doesn't hesitate though, seems to know what to do, because she lifts her other hand up to cup Beca's face, smiles and pulls Beca down, and meets her half-way in a soft kiss.

Beca's heart is now beating so hard against her chest, she doesn't know what to think. And at first she doesn't respond. But Chloe's kiss is tender, soft, like she has been waiting for just this very moment, like she's been waiting her whole life to be able to kiss Beca, and now that she can, she takes her time, lips and tongue warm and gentle and careful against Beca's, like she's savoring a delicacy she has been denied and is now fully enjoying it. Beca is conscious of nothing but Chloe and her warmth, beneath her, the light fragrance of soap and shampoo coming from her skin. Chloe's hand has travelled up and down Beca's back, pulling Beca closer to herself, fingers dancing against her skin, sending sparks down to Beca's very soul. The desire flickers deep within Beca, a warm, throbbing feeling that starts to churn from the center of her being. Chloe hesitates, feeling unsure, starting to pull back when Beca doesn't respond. And then, Beca moves closer, starts to kiss Chloe back, and she hears a soft, satisfied moan escape Chloe's lips as Chloe's hands go to the hem of Beca's shirt and she grabs the hem and pulls it up and off of Beca, removing it with such excitement and enthusiasm it surprises Beca and she grins at Beca as she takes off her own shirt with Beca's help and they stop and look at each other before Beca leans over and holds Chloe close, kissing her tenderly on the lips before she starts to kiss Chloe on her cheeks and her jaw and her neck, before she comes up again and gazes long and hard at Chloe. Chloe gazes back, eyes full of such tenderness Beca feels as if her heart will leap out of her, and she takes a deep breath and leans over to kiss Chloe on the lips as Chloe's arms go up and around Beca and pulls her in for an even deeper kiss.

Somewhere deep within Beca, she suddenly realizes something, something she's surprised she hasn't realized before and as she continues to kiss Chloe, Beca realizes what Jesse has been trying to tell her all along.

Lying here in Chloe's arms, Beca feels, for the first time, like she's finally come home.

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. Reviews always welcome and much appreciated. Wasn't sure about this chap, but thought I'd post and see what you guys think._**

**_Thanks to DragonsWillFly for the help and insights on this chapter._**

**_Many thanks to Duh2042, Coffee Writer Girl and kickangel for leaving kind reviews for the last few chapters. Your reviews inspire and encourage. Keep them coming. :-) Cheers._**


	7. The Sweetest Thing

_**A/N: This chapter Rated M (slightly) - for obvious reasons.**_

* * *

_**Love is friendship caught on fire. - Bruce Lee**_

* * *

Beca lies on her stomach, in the half-darkness, face turned to Chloe, looking at the other woman, as Chloe runs a finger on her face. She smiles. Her hand comes up to hold Chloe's hand and puts it to her lips and kisses it. Then she moves closer and rests her forehead on Chloe's forehead.

The kiss had been entirely unexpected, and Beca hadn't known, at first, how she would feel about it, until Chloe gave her that long, sweet, tender kiss. It hadn't been aggressive, or demanding, just gentle, and Beca had felt her heart plunge deep into her gut at the touch of Chloe's lips against hers. Deep into the kiss, Beca realizes it is something she had wanted to do for the longest time. It was as if they had been kissing for years. And she wonders then why it had taken them so long to kiss in the first place. Then Chloe had pulled back, smiles and whispers to her, "I'd been wanting to do that for the longest time…"

They are silent for what seems like ages, and she looks deep into Chloe's eyes and she suddenly has the urge to tell her so many things, to tell her what she feels, to tell Chloe that when she looks up at a clear, blue sky or looks at the sea, the first thing she remembers is Chloe's blue, blue eyes, or when she hears David Guetta's "Titanium" or Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" the first thing she remembers is Chloe's voice singing in perfect harmony with her years ago at Barden, or that she remembers the first time she meets Chloe, remembers her smile, remembers everything about her, but as she tries to open her mouth, and Chloe whispers, "What is it?" with concern etched on her face, Beca finds she is incapable of saying anything, and she swallows, shakes her head and smiles, feeling confused by the random thoughts in her head. She's happy, unbelievably happy, to feel these things, to be right beside Chloe right now, but at the same time, there is this tendril of something she could not put a name on, fear, anxiety, dread, she thinks, rising deep within her, because she recognizes what she feels for Chloe, had not expected to feel it after going so long without it, but feelings complicated things, you see, feelings complicate and confuse and hurt people and in the end they leave, they _all_ leave and Beca doesn't really know if she can take Chloe leaving again, like she left before, without saying goodbye to her, all those years ago at Barden.

She smiles at Chloe instead. She edges nearer Chloe though and kisses her even more deeply. Chloe's hands come up to hold Beca, whilst Beca moves closer and rolls on top of her. Chloe shifts, puts her arms Beca, and Beca feels Chloe's skin, warm and soft beneath her, and Beca feels her body flicker with longing for Chloe.

Beca has the urge to show Chloe just how much she wants her, but Chloe's grandmother, Mrs. Jones and her best friend, Mrs. Robinson, are also staying in the guest room, and Beca felt a bit weird about sleeping with said guest's granddaughter whilst the grandmother stayed in the other room.

Jesse had also seemed to have the habit of interrupting at the most inopportune times, texting and calling Beca whilst Beca and Chloe were in her room.

Beca had tried to ignore his call, but when her phone keeps ringing, she pulls away from Chloe with a mumbled apology and an annoyed, "Hello?" at Jesse.

Jesse, oblivious to the irritation apparent in Beca's voice, asks, "Hey, Beca, sorry to bother you, but you weren't answering my texts so…"

"So the logical thing to do was call me? What if I was sleeping or busy or something?" Beca asks testily.

"Beca, we both know, you don't actually have a love life or a social life, or any life for that matter, so it's not like I'm actually disrupting some potential Grammy-winning turning point in your life," Jesse points out now.

"You are such an asshole," Beca says now, as she looks towards Chloe, who has rolled way from her, lying on her back, an arm thrown on her eyes, looking, for all intents and purposes, like she is sleeping.

"Whatever, dude," Jesse dismisses it now, before asking, "Have you read the script by any chance?"

Beca nods. "Yeah, I have."

"Well, what do you think about it?" Jesse casually asks now.

Beca shrugs as she says, "Um, I guess it's gripping…? It's not Henry James, or Jane Austen…but it's good."

Beca looks to Chloe now, and she can swear she hears the other woman sigh, out of boredom or irritation Beca doesn't know, so she says, "Listen, can I call you tomorrow? I'm kind of in the middle of something, so…"

"Oh, my god, Beca, are you getting laid with somebody right now?" Jesse asks. "If so, I am so sorry."

"Shut up, you are such an asshole, good night," Beca says in quick succession, turns off her phone and tosses it on her table before she sidles up to Chloe and whispers sorry. Chloe had smiled and nodded then, although Beca isn't sure if she's imagined it, but there seems to be a bit of a change in Chloe's expression when she asks who had called and Beca had answered that it was Jesse.

Beca thinks nothing of it and actually has no time to do so because Chloe's grandmother also keeps knocking on her bedroom door the whole night.

* * *

The first time Mrs. Jones does so, Beca is thankful she is actually only kissing said granddaughter, although both are sufficiently naked but for their underwear.

"Chloe? Beca?" the voice, unmistakably Mrs. Jones', had called out.

Beca had groaned in protest then as Chloe stops kissing her. Beca pulls away and they both turn to the sound of the voice.

"Maybe if we don't say anything she'll go away," Beca had whispered.

Chloe laughs softly, nods and kisses Beca. Beca feels her heart plunge down to the depths of her stomach at how tenderly Chloe kisses her.

"I know you're awake, I can hear you in there," Mrs. Jones calls out.

Beca sighs, kisses Chloe again, before she calls out, "Um, yeah, Mrs. Jones, what's up?"

"You are out of toilet paper," Mrs. Jones announces.

"Oh, okay," Beca says. "Um, there's some in the cabinet under the sink."

"Wha…?" Mrs. Jones asks from behind the door. "I can't hear you, you have to speak up…"

Beca looks at Chloe, and mutters, "She can hear other stuff, but she can't hear me speaking up?"

"…I mean, I'm sorry to wake you, in case you were sleeping, or…doing something else," Mrs. Jones says now, making both Chloe and Beca blush. "But I think it must be that fish I ordered during dinner. The one with the head still on it…I could swear that fish was _staring_ at me…I just knew that fish had it in for me."

Chloe grins as Beca knits her eyebrows in confusion. She whispers, "Sorry." She then lifts her head up and kisses Beca. "You better go and get her toilet paper. Because if you don't, she's going to tell you the color, size and frequency of her bodily functions."

Beca makes a face and groans. "Way to kill the mood," she complains as she reluctantly gets off Chloe, grabs the shirt she had lent Chloe off the floor, puts it on, quickly puts on a pair of shorts, and heads to the door.

Chloe smiles as she grabs Beca for another kiss and whispers, "I'm not going anywhere."

When she opens it, Mrs. Jones is standing right outside the door, in her glasses and pajamas, smiling sheepishly at Beca. "So sorry, Beca," Mrs. Jones says apologetically.

Beca only smiles and says, "It's okay, no worries," as she heads to the bathroom, with Mrs. Jones in tow. As she squats on the floor and pulls out a roll of toilet paper for Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones continues to smile at her and says, "I didn't wake you or my granddaughter up did I?"

"Um, no, well, yeah, but, it's okay," Beca says as she gets up and looks at Mrs. Jones with a smile.

"Okay, wouldn't have wanted to disturb you," Mrs. Jones says, "But whenever I poo…"

"Okay, that's fine, Mrs. Jones, it's totally okay," Beca interrupts, panicking, not wanting to hear what Mrs. Jones has to say. "I've just got to…sleep now."

"Oh, of course," Mrs. Jones says.

* * *

Beca had barely returned to her room, rushing to a thankfully still awake and patiently waiting Chloe, who enthusiastically helps her remove her shirt and shorts as she climbs over Chloe and starts to kiss her again, leaving a trail of kisses on Chloe's jaw, neck and chest, before she returns to Chloe's lips and mumbles, in between kisses, "You should definitely be confident about all _that_", when they hear _another_ knock on the door.

Beca had groaned. "Ugh, seriously?"

Chloe only smiles apologetically. "I'm so sorry," she whispers.

"Uh, Beca, sorry, I know you've gone back to sleep, but do you have something for diarrhea or something?" the unmistakable voice of Mrs. Jones says, behind the door.

"Seriously, _way_ to kill the mood," Beca says now, getting off Chloe again, grabbing her discarded shirt and shorts off the floor and putting them on with a huff.

When Beca opens the door and quickly shuts it behind her, she says to a visibly flustered and embarrassed Mrs. Jones, "Hey, Mrs. Jones."

"Oh, you didn't have to get up, Beca, I'd have found it myself," Mrs. Jones says. "I'm so sorry. I seem to be having a bit of a problem. Mrs. Robinson says there might be some in the bathroom and I tried looking for it there, but I think I may have misplaced my glasses, too."

_Of course you did_, Beca says now, with a smile, as she leads the way to the bathroom. A few minutes later, in which even though Beca has already given her the medicine, she and Mrs. Jones stand there for a few minutes, not knowing what to say, before Mrs. Jones says, "You know, I was just saying…I was just telling Tawny how I think you'd be perfect for our Chloe. You're so nice and kind and just what our Chloe needs. Chloe thinks the world of you."

Beca doesn't know what to say to that, considering she's been attempting to sleep with said granddaughter, so she only smiles, nods and says, "Um, yeah, I have to…go back to sleep now."

They say their "good nights" to each other and Beca rushes back to Mrs. Jones' half-naked granddaughter lying on her bed in her room.

* * *

But Beca has barely discarded her articles of clothing and crawled up and over Chloe again before another knock on the door interrupts them again, and Beca pulls back again and says, "I cannot catch a break, ugh!"

Before that, Beca had been running a finger on the scar on Chloe's forehead, then the scar on Chloe's arm before she asks where Chloe had gotten the scars. Something changes in Chloe then, a subtle shift in her mood, as she tries to change the subject and she asks Beca if she is going to Cynthia Rose and Denise's wedding. Beca notices the change in Chloe's mood, and had nodded then and said, "Yes."

When Chloe had not offered any more information, Beca had said, "And are you going, too? Are you going with your Bradley person with the numeral and the dick and the wiener in his name?" When Chloe doesn't say anything and instead, looks uncomfortable, Beca cocks her head and says, "Who _is_ this Bradley person anyway?"

Chloe is silent, does not say anything, before she says, cautiously, guardedly, "Nobody."

Beca waits for some more elaboration on the matter, but when she realizes nothing is forthcoming, she silently sighs, feels that fear, that anxiety, that dread, grow even bigger within her as she tries to think of something else to say that wouldn't be a sensitive subject for Chloe. She could kick herself for asking these clearly sensitive subjects for Chloe but sometimes Beca feels like Chloe is holding some things back. She knows this is probably the effect of having been away from each other for so long, but sometimes, Beca feels like Chloe isn't the same Chloe she's known at Barden. And the unknown sometimes makes Beca afraid. Because the unknown is unpredictable. And the unpredictable is where the hurt, the pain can come from.

Beca has never been good with these things though, so she is thankful when Chloe's grandmother interrupts them again.

When Chloe's grandmother knocks again, Chloe says now uncertainly, "Maybe we shouldn't…"

"Yeah," Beca reluctantly says now. She doesn't know what possesses her to ask what she asks next, but later she regrets asking it. "What are you doing tomorrow?" Beca whispers now as she grabs her clothes off the floor.

"Um, I have to show the grans around," Chloe replies.

"Oh," Beca says, feeling disappointed, feeling embarrassed that she'd even ask the question in the first place as she looks at Chloe. But she asks another question anyway, a question that leaves her embarrassed after she's asked it, wishing she could take it back after. "Okay. Um…why don't you…stay awhile and hang out or something?"

Chloe is silent for a while, before she sighs and says, "Beca, I have to work."

Beca is silent, feeling the disappointment hit her full force as she nods and smiles casually at Chloe. Chloe moves closer to her, presses close to her, and puts a hand on Beca's thigh. She gently says, "Beca…"

"Beca, I'm sorry to bother you again, but, do you have tea? Tawny says that might work with my particular, err, problem," Mrs. Jones had called out then. "Is the tea on your top shelf or something?"

Chloe sits up and says, "I'll go and talk to Gran. I'll be right back."

Chloe gets off the bed, puts Beca's robe on, opens and shuts the door with a sweet, patient, "Hey, gran, are you okay?"

Beca is confused, restless, as she waits for Chloe to come back. At first she has the urge to just, make a run for it, leave a message and not come back until Chloe, Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Robinson had left, spare herself further embarrassment and humiliation, but that would have been a stupid thing to do, so she stays put instead, grabs her phone, turns it on, and starts to check her messages. As she reads one of the messages, her phone starts to ring and she sees that it is Jesse. She answers on the nth ring and says, "Hey dork, don't you have a life? Stop calling your ex-wife or you'll never get laid!"

Jesse laughs. "Seriously, dude, what do you think? Should I accept it? I mean, that stuff you told me earlier, that's what you always say. That's exactly what you said about the Green Hornet script, too."

"You _asked_ me to take a look at it," Beca points out now, rolling her eyes as she does so. "I mean, it's a remake of 'Soylent Green', Jesse. You're going to play Charlton Heston's role, those are pretty big shoes to fill. Are you up for it?"

"And I don't know. I'm not sure," Jesse says now.

The door opens with a sliver of light and the figure, that of Chloe appears, outlined against the light coming from the hallway. Chloe pauses by the doorway first, before she shuts the door behind her and comes to Beca.

Beca smiles, puts up a hand as if to tell Chloe to wait for a second. Chloe lies beside her as she waits for Beca to finish.

"Anyway, so, you think I should accept it?"

Beca shrugs again. "Dude, I seriously have got to go, but if it's what you want, if it makes you happy, go for it."

Jesse considers this for a moment. "Fair point."

"Yeah, listen, we'll talk soon, yeah? I'll call you," Beca says into the phone now.

"Okay," Jesse says. "And Beca?"

"Yeah?" Beca says, looking at Chloe.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, you're welcome," Beca says.

"Sorry about that," Beca whispers to Chloe now, as she turns her mobile phone off.

"Who was that?" Chloe asks.

"Um…Jesse? He wanted to ask me something," Beca answers now with a sheepish smile. Beca is pretty sure she hasn't imagined the slight change in Chloe's expression, the slight knit of her eyebrows when Beca mentions Jesse's name again.

But Chloe quickly smiles and moves on to the next subject like nothing's happened, so Beca feels relieved. Chloe says, "Okay. Anyway, Gran's fine. Gran wants to apologize. Her stomach's really acting all funny and she doesn't know why, but she swears she's not out to ruin _your_ fun tonight, in case, as she says, we were getting it on or something."

In spite herself, Beca blushes.

As she stretches out beside Beca, Beca smiles. She wants to kiss her again, but she holds back and only moves to make room for the other woman. Chloe moves to put an arm around Beca and she starts to kiss Beca tenderly. Beca feels her heart flutter at Chloe's touch, but there are warning bells in her head that seem to be telling her something, and so she gently extricates herself from the other woman and whispers, "I kind of need to work tomorrow, too. With my mixes and stuff. Do you mind if we just go back to sleep or something?"

If Chloe is surprised at the sudden change in Beca's mood, she doesn't let on, and instead nods and says, "Okay."

* * *

Beca is the first to wake up first the next day and she gets up, and gets the shock of her life when she notices that the house seems to have been tidied up very nicely. Later she finds out that Mrs. Jones had cleaned the whole house, since her bad stomach had kept her awake most of the night, and in the morning, while they were waiting for Beca and Chloe to get up, Mrs. Jones had decided a cleaning was in order.

"I'm so sorry," Mrs. Robinson had said over the hot brewed coffee she was pouring into Beca's mug. "Claire said your house looked like someone had an epileptic fit in every room, and just looking at your house was making her a nervous wreck, so she started cleaning your house." She then leans over and says, "I try to keep her away from my house, too, only because when she cleans the house, I can't find anything for a week, but Claire is stubborn, so." When Mrs. Jones comes in, in apron, gloves, a mop, a broom and a bucket of water, Mrs. Robinson speaks up more loudly and says, "Claire, if you were to have a heart attack before you'd done your breakfast dishes, you'd wait until you did them to call the ambulance." Mrs. Jones promptly ignores them and goes out the back door, presumably to do a bit of backyard sweeping, so Mrs. Robinson turns to Beca and says, "But I tell you, when the chips are down, you want to be with Mrs. Jones. Little things drive her crazy, but in a natural disaster, she keeps it all together while everyone else is falling apart. That's when Claire is at her best. She has a survival kit for every disaster. She's prepared for everything, a tornado, a drought, floods, El Niño, La Niña, earthquakes, anthrax, terrorist attacks, the atomic bomb, germ warfare, jihad, a zombie apocalypse, you name it, she's ready for it!"

When Mrs. Jones eventually comes to join them, she starts chattering on about Georgia, where her parents had originally come from, and Oklahoma, where her late husband's family came from, and in the space of a few minutes, Beca is given the abridged version of Chloe's family history, which ones are German, Dutch, Scottish, Irish ("Isn't the red hair a dead giveaway though?" Mrs. Robinson had said with a smile), and Native American. "When you're from Oklahoma, sweetie, pretty much everyone assumes you have Native American blood in you," Mrs. Jones says with a smile, revealing that Chloe probably is one-sixteenth Cherokee, give or take, but that everyone else is probably one-sixteenth Cherokee in Oklahoma anyway. But Mrs. Jones' liberal ways couldn't stand the Bible-thumping ways of Oklahoma, she says, so she and her husband had moved to the more liberal Boston because of her husband's work, where they'd had Chloe's father and the rest of his siblings. They had lived there many years and when Mrs. Jones' husband, Chloe's grandfather, had died, she had decided to retire to Hawaii, because her best friend, Tawny Robinson lived there and it was always nice to live with someone you knew and now they cheat at bingo together and go to book clubs together and attend the hundred and one activities that Hawaii can offer for two retirees who like tropical weather and a bit of fun.

Mrs. Jones also tells her about Georgia and the interesting drive-thru funeral parlor they once had in Georgia, a four-leaf clover she once found, going to Radio City once, climbing the Chrysler building, wanting to be a Rockette growing up, the summers Chloe spent with them, worrying about having diarrhea in case the end of the world or rapture suddenly happened, and wanting to visit this sex museum of Ancient Greek brothels with the large penises, and joys of the internet, which she has recently discovered. "I don't know about you, young lady, but the internet is the greatest thing that was ever invented, since the wheel! Why, just the other day, I just finished reading this piece of, well, we called it smut in my day, but you now call it erotica fiction, and it's erotica fiction about a unicorn and a rainbow having angry, rage sex, in a filthy back alley which ends with the unicorn coming in a colorful jizz of mercury and lithium."

Beca doesn't even realize her jaw dropping at how casually Mrs. Jones drops this information as she stares at the older woman, who continues to say, "At first it made me a bit uncomfortable, but, wow, it's about sex between a mythical creature and well, it's not really even light or energy, but water vapor and a light source, isn't it? I mean, tentacle porn! Rainbow tendrils tickling unicorn balls and nipples! I couldn't put it down…I mean, well, it's the internets, but you know what I mean..."

There is silence now as Beca doesn't know what to say. She does feel herself blush a little though, as Mrs. Jones smiles innocently and Mrs. Robinson smiles uncomfortably, and the only thing Beca can say is, "I'm not sure I heard this right, but, just to make sure I'm not going crazy, drive-thru funeral parlors? A sex museum? An erotica fiction between a unicorn and a rainbow having angry, rage sex?"

"Doesn't that just make 'Taste the Rainbow' sound so dirty?" Mrs. Robinson asks, winking at Beca.

"It puts '50 Shades of Grey' to shame!" Mrs. Jones says now.

"Which, yes, Beca, if you're wondering, she's read that, too," Mrs. Robinson says now.

Mrs. Jones looks at Mrs. Robinson now. "What, I was curious about what it was all about," she says defensively. In spite herself, Beca finds herself smiling. Mrs. Jones turns to her now and says, "I could give you a copy if you want. Here's some advice I wish I would have got when I was your age: live every week like it's shark week."

Beca says. "Thanks. But…What does that even mean?"

Chloe wakes up after and thankfully since Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Robinson mindlessly chatter on, neither notices that Chloe and Beca are hardly speaking to each other, sitting across from each other in awkward silence, sipping coffee and eating toast.

Finally, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Robinson and Chloe decide to leave and Beca sees them to the door, having called a cab for them.

Beca and Chloe only nod at each other and Beca watches as the cab pulls away from the curb.

She shuts the door behind her, rests her forehead against the wood and starts to bang her head against it, feeling like she's just done something irrevocably stupid and foolish and that she is going to regret it for the rest of her life.

* * *

A few weeks and a few DJ-ing gigs later, in which she is mixing some songs in her laptop, a habit she does when she's agitated, anxious, confused, stressed or when she just wants to figure things out, Jesse arrives with a box of Krispy Kreme, pizza and some Baskin and Robbins.

Chloe hadn't called her since that time she had stayed over with her grandmother and her grandmother's best friend. She hadn't left messages or texts to Beca as well. Beca had wanted to call or text Chloe as well, but there was something, pride, a need for self-preservation, a fear maybe, and every time she has the urge to call or text Chloe, she stops herself at the last second.

When Chloe doesn't call or text her, Beca falls into a slight depression, which she doesn't understand at first. She had felt a deep depression when she was going through the divorce with Jesse, but she finds that as the days went by, it got easier and easier to accept. She wonders at first if the depression is a residual feeling left over from her separation and divorce from Jesse, but she realizes that it is not. Jesse had been right, her relationship with him, their marriage, had run its course, and once she got over the ego-bruising a divorce inevitably made anyone feel and once she'd done a few therapy sessions, the moving on from the divorce wasn't actually as hard as she thought it would be. Mostly it was trying to get used to not being married or attached to the same person for so long, although given that her relationship with Jesse had quickly turned into a friendship, the transition had helped with the loss and void a divorce had created. What she realizes is that whatever she is feeling is completely separate from, and very distinct from what she had felt before, and in fact, seemed to be largely connected to a certain red-haired person who had suddenly stopped texting or calling her for a few weeks, which, for Beca, feels like years. Left alone in her suddenly empty house, with only herself for company, with no friends or ex-es or a certain person with whom she'd always had an ambiguous friendship with and ambivalent feelings for, she feels this sudden, incredible loneliness, this aloneness, a feeling so powerful that sometimes it would make her eyes well with tears. Sometimes she would stand in the middle of her house, in her living room, and imagine Chloe sitting cross-legged on her living room floor, or imagine Chloe on her bed, or sitting by her kitchen table, and it makes Beca feel even worse. It's an inexplicable, indescribable feeling that takes all of Beca's strength not to fly to New York to tell Chloe things that she would find herself embarrassed admitting.

The thing is, she feels like kicking herself again. Chloe had done the exact same thing when they were roommates at Barden, except at the time, the lines were a bit more clear-cut, things were less ambiguous and ambivalent than they were now, and so Beca feels even more devastated now. She feels abandoned, feels like the child nobody wanted after the divorce, largely ignored or taken for granted, feels like the wife the husband no longer wanted, feels, for all intents and purposes, unloved and unwanted. See, this is why she didn't _do_ relationships. She had sworn she wouldn't do relationships when she hit Barden, but then Jesse happened, and that person had completely made her believe maybe happy endings are possible after all, but here she is now, feeling pathetic and lost, hoping against all hope that Chloe would call or text or even message her on facebook, and finding herself feeling ridiculous just staring in front of her computer or checking her mobile phone for messages and when she finds nothing, feeling like a stupid school girl, like the world would end, just because Chloe hadn't even bothered to text or call her.

See, that's what Chloe makes her feel. Like a damn twelve-year old school girl with some damn school girl crush. Chloe fills her days with thoughts of her, with music and rhythms and melody and song, with visions of red hair and sky and sun and smooth skin and eyes so blue she feels like she could drown in them and not care.

There had been some songs, some music playing in her head, foremost of which is that Chinese chant that she wants to mix with some New Age music and layer in some upbeat club music in between, matching the chords and rhythms and beats. She hasn't mixed new music in a while, and she finds these new ideas bombarding her head now very exciting as her fingers fly on the keys. She hasn't done this kind of mix before, but she wants to see where it will go, and she wants to experiment with music Moby, Prodigy, Chemical Brothers, Fatboy Slim and even Enigma and Enya. It's different from what she usually mixes, but she figures she might as well try something new. She spots a copy of David Guetta's "Titanium" and Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are", and finds herself doing a quick mix of the two songs as well.

When her ex-husband appears on her doorstep with said food, Beca sighs, steps aside and gestures expansively for Jesse to enter.

"Don't you have somewhere else to go home to?" Beca had asked Jesse then. Jesse had grinned and said, "Yeah, but you have the most comfy couch in all of L.A. and it was the only thing you didn't want to give me, so yeah, we're sharing custody of the couch."

Beca had rolled her eyes as she watches Jesse head for the couch, sit down and make himself comfortable. In a few minutes, he is busy alternately playing computer games and reading scripts, glasses perched on his nose.

Beca knows Jesse is planning to stay a few more hours, at least until it's time for Beca to head out for work, so she only sighs, decides to get her own laptop and start mixing music.

Jesse and Beca are in the living room now, hanging out, Jesse sprawled out on the couch, alternately reading scripts and playing Mass Effect on his laptop, while Beca is sitting cross legged beside him, laptop on her legs, oversized headphones on her head, as she tries to mix songs.

"Wow," Jesse says now, peering from behind her shoulder, with a carrot stick in one hand, one in his mouth as he stares at her laptop. "Look at you go."

His voice startles her and she looks up, not having realized that her ex-husband had gotten up to raid the fridge and bring back something to munch on. He hands her some juice and a plate of cookies. She accepts them and sets them on the table in front of her before she returns to her work. Jesse stares at what she is doing before he jumps back on the couch, carrot in his mouth, as he returns to his laptop as well.

After an hour or so of working in companionable silence, in which Beca decides to take a break, pulling off the headphones from her head and setting the laptop beside her, stretching on the couch as she does so, Jesse looks up, regarding her silently before he returns to his own laptop.

After a few minutes, in which Beca is looking over Jesse's shoulder to watch him play a game of Mass Effect, Jesse speaks up.

"So, uh, I'm auditioning for 'Soylent Green'," Jesse says now.

"Wow, that's great!" Beca says now. "Thought you weren't going through with it. I mean, it's a remake of 'Soylent Green'. I thought playing Charlton Heston's role would freak you out. Plus, Hollywood has never had a good track record when it comes to book-to-movie adaptations and remakes."

"That's true," Jesse says. "But I figure, what the heck, might as well give it a shot. If it bombs, at least I still get a paycheck, and that's always a good thing, right?"

Beca nods.

"Although, you're right, Hollywood book-to-movie adaptations and remakes are usually not as good as you want it to be," Jesse says thoughtfully. "I mean, There was Stephen King's 'Lawnmower Man' and 'The Running Man', H.G. Well's 'The Island of Dr. Moreau', 'The Time Machine' and 'War of the Worlds', Isaac Asimov's 'I, Robot', 'I am Legend', William Gibson's 'Johnny Mnemonic', Neil Gaiman's 'Stardust' and 'Coraline'…"

"_Exactly_," Beca says.

"I mean, I don't even know what to make of Val Kilmer and Marlon Brando in 'The Island of Dr. Moreau', 'The Time Machine' was some screwed up incomprehensible crap with Jeremy Irons and Guy Pierce and Tom Cruise was just…"

"Annoying as _fuck?_" Beca supplies.

"Language, Beca," Jesse says, without missing a beat as Beca rolls her eyes, "…Tom Cruise was just annoying as hell in 'War of the Worlds' and Will Smith ruined 'I, Robot' and what was up with the third act of 'Stardust'? I mean, man, that was just… I can't even…"

Beca looks up at the ceiling. "Do you stay up all night just overanalyzing random shit like that, Jesse?"

Meanwhile, Jesse answers, in all seriousness, "Yes." Then he continues, as if Beca had not interrupted him, "And you forget, all of Philip K. Dick's stories have never been faithfully adapted to the screen, too. 'Bladerunner', 'Adjustment Bureau'…"

"'Total Recall', 'Paycheck', 'Next'," Beca continues. "I don't think they ever get sci-fi or fantasy right."

"Yeah, like the 'Lord of the Rings' movie adaptations," Jesse says. "I mean, yeah, that trilogy is cool, but god, after three movies of Frodo and Sam mooning over each other, I just wanted them to get it on by the time the third movie was out." He stops, thinks for a few moments, before he remembers, "And Superman remakes never get it right!"

"Well, but you also have a soft spot for Christopher Reeve, so that Brandon guy and that guy from 'Immortals' Henry whatsisface never stood a chance," Beca points out. "I have a bigger issue with the Dark Knight series actually."

Jesse rolls his eyes. "Yes, I know, you've made that clear on every single discussion we've ever had on superhero movies."

Beca nods. "See, this is why we divorced."

"We're best friends," Jesse says, with a grin.

"We're _roommates_," Beca says.

Then they look at each other for a few seconds and burst out laughing.

"Geek!" Jesse says.

"_Nerd!_" Beca retorts.

Jesse grins.

They work in silence again for a while, before Beca says, "So, um, what kind of preparation are you doing for 'Soylent Green'? I mean, you find out that the food is people and stuff…"

Jesse grabs a carrot from the container he'd brought from the kitchen, stares at it, and says, "Sometimes I crawl under my bed and pretend I'm a carrot."

Beca stares at him for a moment as Jesse takes a bite of the carrot and she says, "Dude, I don't even know what that _means_. Sometimes, I can't believe I _married_ you."

Jesse grins. "Sometimes, I can't believe it, too."

After a few minutes, Jesse says, tentatively, "So, Beca…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have a toner for Chloe? Which, as you know, is defined by Aubrey as a musical _boner_."

Beca blushes and is caught speechless for a while before she brings her hand up and hits him upside on the head.

"What the hell, Beca?" Jesse says. "That was an honest, innocent question. And you have that sort of post-coital glow on your face that I can recognize anywhere and which I've noticed you only have around Chloe and only around Chloe…"

"That deserved an honest-to-goodness slap on the head," Beca says. "Honestly, Jesse…"

"What? I was just _curious_," Jesse says. "I was hoping you could settle a long-standing debate the guys at Trebles have had since our time at Barden."

"What?" Beca asks.

Jesse stops, looks up at Beca and asks, in all seriousness, "The debate on, you know…whether the hottest Bella's carpet matches the drapes?"

It takes Beca a few moments to figure out what Jesse is saying, before Jesse bursts out laughing and Beca blushes and hits Jesse upside on the head.

"Will you _stop_ that?" Jesse says, rubbing the back of his head.

"You are such an _asshole_," Beca says. "And even if I knew, I'm never going to tell."

"Crap, now I'll never know," Jesse says, feigning dejection and frustration.

Jesse lets Beca silently work on her laptop, before he says, teasingly, "Beca…"

"What?" Beca says, intent on finishing her mix.

Jesse is silent for a few moments before he says, "I can see your boner from here."

Beca glares at him before she hits him on the head again and says, "That's my dick, moron. And it's bigger than yours."

"Dammit, Beca, why'd you have to switch teams after we get a divorce?"

Beca rolls her eyes and says, "You're really just asking for it now, aren't you?"

Jesse closes his eyes and whispers, "Be gentle."

Beca hits him on the head again and Jesse grunts in pain, rubbing the back of his head after.

"So…you're not sleeping with Chloe?" Jesse asks again.

Beca looks at him and says, "Fuck off, Jesse." After a few moments, she says, "And the answer is no." Technically she hadn't, so it wasn't like she was actually lying.

"Whatever, dude!" Jesse says now. "But if you guys ever hook up and do the civil union or commitment ceremony thing or whatever, I am so invited, yeah?"

"Whatever, dude," Beca replies to him now.

After a few minutes, Jesse says, "So how long?"

Beca looks at him in confusion. "How long is what? How long has it been since I last got laid?" she asks, with a smirk on her face and an eyebrow raised. "Because as far as I know that stopped being your business when I signed the divorce papers."

Jesse rolls his eyes. "How long is this imaginary dick of yours…?"

Jesse doesn't even see her lightning quick fingers as she slaps him again.

As Jesse rubs the back of his head, Beca says, "I'd say definitely bigger than yours…"

Jesse laughs. After a few minutes, Jesse says, "Can I hear what you're working on?"

"No," Beca says, curtly. "See, now you're just being the annoying kid brother I'm so glad I never had. Seriously, how have we ended up being together for more than a decade without me noticing how much of an asshole you are?" Beca says now, settling back on the couch, making a face as she does so.

"I have no idea," Jesse says now, smirking.

Jesse doesn't even see it as Beca hits him on the head again. Jesse grins and says, "Fine, but let me listen to your new mixes anyway."

After much arguing between the two, Beca finally lets Jesse listen to what she is mixing. Beca starts to play some new mixes she's been doing. She says, "I know it's lame, but I liked it and I wanted to do something different."

Jesse is silent for a while, listening, before he says, "Wow."

"Yeah, I know, it's bad…it's…"

"This is awesome!" Jesse says. "I really like it."

"Really?" Beca asks now, her turn to be surprised.

"Yeah," Jesse says. "It's kind of different from the stuff you usually do, but it's great nonetheless."

"Wow, thanks," Beca says now with a grin.

"Yeah, now I should totally have a copy of this," Jesse says now as he grabs Beca's laptop and scrolls through it.

"Jesse! Are you twelve? Give me back my laptop!" Beca says now, "It's nowhere near finished and…"

Suddenly the doorbell rings as Beca is trying to grab her laptop back from Jesse and Jesse goes to the front door, Beca's laptop in his hand, high up in the air, whilst Beca tries to jump up to get it and Jesse laughs as he opens the door with his other hand.

"Give me back my laptop, you ass," Beca says now as she tries to get her laptop.

"Never!" Jesse says now, chuckling as he keeps the laptop high in the air, clearly enjoying watching Beca jump up and down like a little dog for her laptop.

"Hey," a voice in front of them says.

Both Jesse and Beca stop and look and there, in front of them, is Chloe in casual clothes and a small bag looking from Beca to Jesse and back, an unanswered question in her eyes. There is also this look in her eyes that Beca has come to recognize is something that she only has whenever Beca mentions Jesse. She certainly seems to have that look now when she sees Beca and Jesse together.

"Oh, uh, hey, Chloe," Jesse says, sheepishly now, putting the laptop down as Beca promptly grabs her laptop from him. "We were just…hanging out…"

"He's an ass, don't mind him," Beca says now, glaring at Jesse.

"Because you wouldn't give me a copy of your new mixes!" Jesse whines now.

"Are you fucking twelve?" Beca says now, rolling her eyes as she does so.

"Fine," Jesse says, before he glances at his watch, looks up at both women and says, "I've got to go anyway. I'll catch you guys later, yeah?"

Both women nod as Jesse goes back to the living room to grab his laptop before he marches back to the front door, says goodbye to the two women and leaves, but not before catching Beca's eye when Chloe's back is turned, and he gives Beca a thumb's up sign. Beca replies with a swift middle finger in his direction. Jesse smirks as he gets into his car.

They both watch him drive away in his car before they both step inside. They stand in front of each other, in the hallway, not knowing what to say, before Beca speaks up and says, "Um, do you want some…tea, or something?"

Chloe nods.

"Okay," Beca says now.

* * *

Over hot brewed coffee for Beca, tea for Chloe, in Beca's kitchen, both women sit near each other, not knowing what to say. Beca still can't believe Chloe is here, in her kitchen, where before she'd just wished she was here and now Beca is completely overwhelmed by Chloe's presence, drinking in her wild profusion of red hair, the smooth skin, those incredible blue eyes that are now currently looking down at her mug of tea.

Finally, Chloe speaks up. "Beca, stop it."

"What?"

"Stop looking at me like I'm about to bail on you or something," Chloe casually says now. "You're creeping me out."

Beca grins. "Sorry."

Chloe smiles.

There is silence between them again, before Beca says, "So how long are you staying for this time?"

Beca hates that the question doesn't sound as casual as it should, that it actually sounds like a whine, a complaint and she bites her lower lip when she's asked the question, before she shakes her head and says, "I…I didn't mean it like…I'm sorry…"

Beca swallows now. Chloe sits silently before her, not offering any answer, and Beca feels the anxiety and panic start to build again. The thing is, she's afraid, afraid Chloe will leave again, when all she wants is for Chloe to stay, maybe stay forever, but Beca doesn't want her to stay just because Beca asked her to, but because she wants to stay. Chloe hasn't shown any indication that she had wanted to stay. If anything, this side of Chloe, this carefree, free spirit side of her, seems to be in full force these days, and Beca sometimes feels like any day now, Chloe will up and leave like she did when they were at Barden and Beca would be left to pick up the pieces again, like she had when Jesse had left.

She tries to push all these thoughts and feelings down though, knowing that thinking of all of these things right now, so early in whatever it is that she has with Chloe now, isn't particularly helpful or healthy. The only thing Beca knows is she thinks she might be feeling something more, something deeper for Chloe, and she hasn't actually asked herself what all of it could mean, or how it would affect what she has now with Chloe. She knows though that she just wants to be next to Chloe. And that she's really glad Chloe's with her right now.

She watches Chloe as she runs a finger on the rim of her cup. Finally Chloe speaks up. "Well, that depends."

Chloe doesn't speak for a while and Beca starts to flush from embarrassment. She thinks maybe she has overstepped the line and she stares into her coffee cup and suddenly has the urge to walk out, or disappear off the face of the earth.

After a while, Chloe's hand is on Beca's thigh and says, "Beca…"

Beca looks up. "Huh?"

"You okay?"

Beca nods. She fights the urge to run away from this awkward situation right now.

Chloe leans over. "Okay. So you don't seem okay…I…"

Chloe gazes at Beca for a few seconds before she pulls her towards her and kisses her.

When Chloe pulls away, there is a hopeful smile on her face and she smiles. "I'm not going anywhere," Chloe whispers now, before she gives Beca an even gentler kiss. She smiles again. "It…this…whatever we have right now…it doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be, okay?"

Beca hesitates, debates what to say. She has a million and one thoughts in her head about what she has with Chloe now, and she still doesn't know what to think of it, but she smiles back and nods and says, "Okay."

Chloe's grin widens. "Okay."

* * *

Beca lies back on the bed, resting her head on her left hand. She stretches out on the bed, tilting her head up to watch shadows play on the ceiling. Beside her, on her right arm, pressed so closely by her side she cannot really tell where she begins and where the other woman ends, lies Chloe, naked but for a sheet thrown on her and Beca, who is equally as naked. Chloe's arm is carelessly thrown on Beca's stomach and her fingers are currently rubbing Beca's skin in a slow, rhythmic motion that is currently making Beca's senses go into overdrive, making her flare with desire. The streetlight outside bathes Chloe in an almost silver glow. Chloe's blue eyes are shining, aglow with a flame that Beca is beginning to understand is something akin to warmth, happiness, contentment. Beca likes that she is the one responsible for putting that light in Chloe's eyes. Chloe's eyes have always been one of her most beautiful, more expressive features, and gazing into Chloe's deep blue eyes, Beca thinks she could drown in them any moment and wouldn't even care.

Making love with Chloe wasn't even something either one had actually planned. One minute they were kissing each other good night, and the next thing she knew they were making love and for two people who'd known each other for a long time but was doing it only for the first time, it was surprising. She knew Chloe could be passionate, if their sharing an apartment at Barden had been any indication but she hadn't known how incredibly passionate and gentle Chloe could be. Being with Chloe like this is a new experience for Beca and she likes it. She is actually quite amazed by all of it.

She thinks about how she and Chloe had made love, how smooth Chloe's skin had been against hers, the touch of Chloe's lips against her lips, against her skin, the way Chloe whispered her name in her ear, the way Chloe held her, the way she looked at Beca, tenderly, lovingly, making Beca feel like she is the only person in the world that existed for Chloe, the only person Chloe wanted to be with. She thinks about how it feels, being inside Chloe, to feel so infinitely connected to her in the deepest, most fundamental way. Chloe had given herself to Beca so completely, so fully, so generously, when they were making love, it surprises Beca, Beca looking deep into Chloe's deep blue eyes, the beating of Chloe's heart passing through Beca's and becoming her own, their pounding hearts starting to beat as one as well, until she could no longer tell which was her heart and which was Chloe's and as they moved together, in sync, as if there was music in another room that only they could hear, that they moved in time to, Beca is surprised it has taken both of them this long to be together in this way. They fit each other so perfectly, their bodies molding into each other so perfectly, Beca is amazed she hadn't even realized it before. And she holds Chloe's gaze as Chloe clings to her, as she tumbles off into the edge, with a soft sigh and a whisper, resting her head against Beca as Beca comes after her. It is at this moment that Beca feels it, this feeling of wanting to be with Chloe always, of wanting to always make her happy, all the time, like this.

"You," Beca whispers now, as she gently reaches for Chloe's hand and plants a soft kiss on the smooth skin, before she moves over to kiss Chloe on the lips, "Are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

Chloe smiles into the kiss, before she pulls back and says, "That's just ridiculous. Have you seen all the other women in the world?"

Beca laughs and she shakes her head, gazing at Chloe tenderly. "But I mean, wow, you're so pretty, how are you doing that? With your face? And your body?" She then leans over and kisses Chloe again before she puts her hand on Chloe's naked back and says, "I'm just going to…study the gentle curve of your body…"

Chloe only laughs as she moves over to Beca and Beca starts to kiss her shoulder, then moves to plant kisses on her back, before she kisses Chloe on the lips again. Beca mumbles, "You're like a Boticelli angel or something…"

Chloe knits her eyebrows and purses her lips, "I'm fat?" As she leans her head on her hand, she says, "Because I've seen those Renaissance paintings, they're _fat_."

Beca only grins. "No, you're too _white_."

Chloe laughs again, shaking her head. "And also…?" Chloe says now, before leaning over to kiss Beca. "Never figured you for a dork, but yeah. You officially are."

Beca shakes her head. "No, I'm not…"

"I mean…"Chloe continues, as she continues to kiss Beca, "You don't need to compliment me, you already _got_ laid."

Beca smiles. "Yes, I must say, Miss Beale, your skills in the bedroom are impressive."

Chloe smiles back. "As are yours, Miss Mitchell."

Beca continues, "I especially liked the part where…I don't even know what to call _that_…I mean that last part probably almost ripped a hole in the Space Time Continuum."

Chloe rolls her eyes at her and says, "See? Dork. Shut up and kiss me…"

Beca sees the scar on Chloe's forehead but resists the urge to ask her a question, about them, and instead says, "You still going to Cynthia Rose and Denise's wedding?" When Chloe nods, Beca says, "Cool."

They are silent for a while, before Chloe asks, "Are you going with someone?"

Beca shakes her head.

Chloe smiles widely. "So, can I be your date for this thing?"

Beca looks at her and smiles. "What, Bradley is busy?"

Chloe doesn't say anything, only smiles. Beca makes a point to think about it and sighs, before she says, "Sure, why not?"

Chloe only knits her eyebrows and hits Beca on the shoulder, before Chloe slides nearer and presses close to her, putting an arm on Beca's waist as she does so.

Beca sighs.

"What?" Chloe whispers.

"Are you leaving after tonight?" Beca asks now.

"Do you want me to stay?" Chloe asks.

"I…but you have work and stuff," Beca says. "Next time you come for a visit, you totally should stay longer."

Chloe laughs. "So there's going to be a next time?"

Beca smiles. "If you want there to be."

Chloe smiles. "I'd like that. I'd like that very much." She leans over and kisses Beca softly.

Beca's heart starts to beat fast and when Chloe pulls away she suddenly has the urge to tell her what she really feels for her. Beca smiles.

"I can stay if you want," Chloe whispers now.

"Really?" Beca asks. She hates that she sounds so hopeful.

Chloe nods, leaning over to kiss her. Beca rolls on top of her and starts to move against Chloe, Chloe's arms coming up to hold Beca as Chloe moans and asks, "_Again?_"

Beca smiles sheepishly and says, "Sorry…it's been awhile…"

There is silence between them as Beca continues to kiss Chloe and her hand drifts down to Chloe's waist, then Chloe's inner thigh and Chloe moans even more and holds Beca closer, fervently kissing her as she does so, she whispers, "Beca…"

And Beca smiles, fingers dancing on Chloe's inner thigh, before she slides inside Chloe and Chloe gasps, moans, arches up and whispers, "Beca…_god_…"

* * *

Later, having spent the whole night making love, the two reluctantly agree that it is time to sleep, but Chloe, lying in her arms, says, "Okay, but sing me a song first."

Beca rolls her eyes at her. "Ugh, what is it with you and lullabies?"

Chloe sticks her lower lip out in a pout and whispers, "Baby, come on sing me a song…"

Beca knits her eyebrows and smirks, "What, we're on terms of endearment now?"

"You were the one who called me a fat, pale Boticelli angel," Chloe points out.

"I also called you the most beautiful woman in the world," Beca says now, rolling on top of Chloe and kissing her.

Chloe pulls back, saying, "Which was obviously a big lie, so you can get laid again."

Beca smiles. "It's not working then?"

Chloe shakes her head. "Nope. Nice try, Casanova. Sing me a song."

"Okay," Beca sleepily says, clearing her throat and saying, "I'll sing you a song…Can I just sing you 'Titanium'? Because I seriously think 'Titanium' is _our_ song."

"Huh," Chloe says. "I didn't know we _had_ a song. And even if we did, I thought Bruno Mars' 'Just the Way You Are' was our song."

Beca laughs. "Oh, is _that_ our song then?"

Chloe nods. "Definitely."

Beca looks at her, grins and nods before she moves nearer to Chloe, kisses her tenderly and says, "It's perfect. _You're_ perfect." When Chloe only gazes at her and smiles a wide smile, like Beca has just told her the answer to life, Beca blushes before she says, sheepishly, "…And I've just confirmed how much of a dork I am…but...I mean you're perfect…"

Chloe grins. "That's okay. At least you're _my_ dork. And you're all _mine_. I mean, you can be mine, right?"

Beca laughs. She looks at Chloe and smiles. "If you want."

"And you are, too, you know," Chloe says now.

"What?" Beca asks.

Chloe leans over and kisses her. When she pulls back, she whispers and says, "Perfect."

Beca only stares at her, before she says, "Oh, my god, if I wasn't so tired and sleepy now, I'd totally make love to you right now again."

Chloe laughs before she whispers, "Sorry."

They never actually get to sing songs to each other. They are too tired to do anything else. Beca holds Chloe in her arms, and Chloe has her arm around Beca and they hold each other close until they fall asleep. Beca remembers though that before she sleeps, she thinks to herself, that she is all Chloe's if Chloe wants her to be.

* * *

The next morning, Chloe stirs beside her and Beca smiles, waking her up with a soft kiss on the forehead, before Chloe opens her eyes and she moves her head so Beca can kiss her on the lips, Chloe's hands starting to leave a trail on Beca's stomach.

Beca grins now and kisses Chloe's head and whispers, "Hey, gorgeous."

Chloe grins back before she rolls on top of Beca, starts to move against Beca and mumbles, "Morning."

They spend the whole morning making love.

* * *

Chloe's meant to stay for only a couple of days, but she ends up staying a few more days. Beca doesn't ask her to, but when Chloe does finally ask whether that is okay or not, Beca is thrilled, to say the least, and over the wild, excited beating of her heart, she manages to say, "Of course you can stay. Stay as long as you like." _Stay forever_, she thinks to herself, but she stops herself before she says it.

Chloe only grins.

They spend their days then just lounging around the house, having breakfast together, or going out for brunch or dinner. Beca takes her to some more interesting places, the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the Home of the Stars tour, the boardwalk, Universal Studios, MacArthur Park and downtown Hollywood, although mostly Chloe just likes the place high up near the sea that Beca took her to that first time they went out in what they both jokingly describe as their unofficial date night.

Sometimes, Chloe cooks for her. They would go out and do groceries, and when they come back to the house, Chloe kicks her out of the kitchen, asks her to just do her mixes, while she cooks. Chloe's cooking surprises her. It never ceases to amaze her how Chloe can make salad from scratch, or cook baked chicken in cream sauce, with green beans and potatoes, or cook spaghetti just the way she likes it, or bake cookies and biscuits and how they would sit down to a nice, old meal like an old couple who'd been doing it for the longest time. It is all so unbelievably domestic Beca sometimes cannot believe it.

Once, Beca had commented, "This is delicious, where did you learn to cook like this?"

And Chloe had grinned and says, "I hadn't wanted to tell you, but I had an affair with Gordon Ramsay…"

Beca had rolled her eyes and said, "Be serious."

"Or was it Jamie Oliver?" Chloe had said now, with an even wider grin. When Beca only stares at her, Chloe had said, "I don't know, I just picked it up from here and there. I kind of just throw in everything and hope for the best."

Beca laughs and leans over to kiss her, stopping herself at the last minute from telling Chloe how much she adores her and cares for her.

* * *

Mostly they talk. They talk about a lot of things, random things, interesting things, things they think the other might like or might be interested in. They are safe topics, safe subjects to discuss. Neither one wants to disturb the happy bubble of happiness they both share, and any subject that would inevitably lead to a discussion of defining what they have now is skillfully avoided, as are other topics such as Chloe's scars, Bradley, her dreams about "Summer", the meditations she sometimes does, the tea she drinks, little details that tell Beca she isn't really the Chloe she has known when they were at Barden, and yet she is _still_ every bit the Chloe Beca had known then.

Like Chloe tells her about the Silk Road, the Diwali festival in India, the dogmeat festival she just happened to stumble into when she was in China, the Pride Parade in London. Chloe tells her a few Indian stories and some African stories she's encountered in her travels. Chloe tells her about the great Indian epic, the _Ramayana_. She tells her about Rama, Sita, Hanuman, Lakshmana, Ravana and other characters in the story. She tells Beca the _Ramayana_ is composed of different stories. Chloe tells her about her favorite story, the _"Bala Kanda"_ about the king with the three childless queens. The king is granted a son for each queen after he performs a fire sacrifice. Rama is the firstborn of these children. These sons have been given, to various degrees, with the spirit of the God Vishnu. "Vishnu had opted to be born into mortality in order to fight the demon Ravana, who was oppressing the Gods, and who could only be destroyed by a mortal," Chloe continues. When he turns sixteen, Rama destroys demons with the help of Lakshmana. Chloe tells her about Sita, a woman of unparalleled beauty and charm, and how on the day that she was ready to be married, her father, the king, decided to have a _swayamvara_, something that included a contest. The king had a massively enormous bow, given to him by the God Shiva. Whoever could hold the bow could marry Sita. When Rama and Lakshmana attend the event, only Rama wields the bow, breaks it and eventually marries Sita. Chloe tells her about the story of the princess Savitri who tried to do everything to save her doomed husband and finally tricks the god of death, who had refused to give her husband back, into granting her a wish: the wish being that she be granted many children, but that the children should be from her husband's seed, so the god, who had made a promise to her, had no choice but to release her husband from the jaws of death and she is reunited with her husband after.

"Is that your favorite story then?" Beca asks her.

Chloe shrugs. "I like a lot of different stories. Stories fascinate me. Stories are poetic, beautiful. Like when I was in India, I met this person who gave me the most succinct explanation for who Vishnu is. She said, Vishnu sleeps on the shore-less cosmic ocean, and we are the stuff of his dreams."

Beca is silent for a few moments, before she says, "Wow, that is beautiful."

Chloe smiles. "Yes, it reminds me of that Australian aborigine story, about how the gods dreamed us all into being and stuff."

Beca grins. "That reminds me of those Neil Gaiman stories where he writes about how the world was created with a song. We were sung into being and stuff."

Chloe looks into Beca's eyes. "_That_ is beautiful. And that makes sense. Neil Gaiman has always been an awesome author."

Beca tilts her head. "You know Neil Gaiman?"

Chloe rolls her eyes. "Of course I do. You can't be a writer and not know Neil Gaiman and 'Coraline'."

"That story is a bit dark though," Beca says.

Chloe nods. "True. I actually prefer 'Stardust' and 'Neverwhere'."

"I have a soft spot for 'Sandman'," Beca says with a smile. "How about your story? Tell me about, 'The Day After Yesterday'."

Chloe considers this for a moment, hesitates before she says, "It's nowhere near finished, but maybe when it's finished."

"Okay, but you owe me your story," Beca says.

Chloe nods as Beca kisses her.

* * *

Mostly they make love. They don't talk about the future, or define what they have now with each other, but Beca holds her and kisses and makes love to her like she wants to keep doing it forever. The more time she spends with Chloe, the more she wants to say so much to Chloe. But mostly she feels like a painter with a beautiful vision for a painting but only has stick and muds to work with. She feels like whatever she will say will only skim lightly on the surface of her skin. She wants words that will create a deep explosion, words that Chloe will drink in, words that will touch every part of Chloe. She wants to be in every part of Chloe, from skin to muscle to bone all the way to ends of her hair.

And Beca realizes, Beca realizes that she's always known, she's always known Chloe was, _is_ special to her, always has been, always will be.

She feels herself falling, but even though there is a mixture of terror, fear, confusion, uncertainty, there is also this soft, warm, tender feeling, a feeling she has come to realize she only feels for Chloe and _only_ Chloe.

Lying with Chloe in her arms, Beca feels like everything is falling into place, like everything now makes _sense_.

* * *

_**A/N: That's it for this chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Hope you liked this chapter! Kind reviews would be awesome and would **__**much appreciated and would really go a long way in inspiring and encouraging this writer**__**. I know it's been taking so long to get here, but there is a story and a background and plots and themes though, so thanks for your patience.**_

_**Many thanks to the beta, DragonsWillFly for what seems like years of friendship. :) Your input on this chap and in every story thus far, has been awesome. Thank you!**_

_**Grateful acknowledgement to the inspiration from author Fanny Flagg, the geeks and nerds of io9 dot com and avclub dot com ad infinitum. Also, yes, I love movies, Neil Gaiman, world folk mythology and **__**"Life of Pi" (both the movie and the book). ;) Also, yeah, erotica fiction about a unicorn having angry rage sex with a rainbow is a thing. It was written by Greta Christina, in case you were wondering. :)**_

_**Also, many, many thanks to the following readers for reading and reviewing:**_

_**Dr. Bones206, LeeShaw (glad I made you laugh!), Coffee Writer Girl, kickangel, TheGreenEyedRioN, Duh2042 and the guest who left a review.**_


	8. Moments of Impact

_**"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get."- Dale Carnegie**_

* * *

Beca remembers the first time Chloe tells her she loves her.

It starts innocuously enough.

It comes right after Chloe has come to stay over for a conference that is being held in L.A.

Beca still continues to sustain her DJ gigs in clubs, sleeping all day and working all night, although she makes time when Chloe is in town.

Chloe divides her time between New York and Los Angeles, working with companies all around the country, studying and writing, whilst Beca continues working on new mixes, and working and trying out her new mixes in clubs. She hasn't actually released the ones she's done between the time Chloe first kissed her and the first time they made love - they were her most private, most intimate work, and she thinks she isn't really ready to unleash her most personal, most heartfelt work to date to the public. She does have a separate set of mixes that she's been doing, mixes that experiment with different rhythms, beats, melodies, experimenting with guitar riffs and drums and bass lines and layering it with other symphonies and harmonies. She lets Jesse, who comes for a visit once in a while, or hangs out at the clubs she DJs or takes her out to lunch when he isn't filming or shooting scenes, hear them, and she lets him store some of them in his mobile phone, with the express promise that he wouldn't let anyone else hear it. Jesse promises to do so, although he is a bit dejected he wouldn't be able to share this new bit of music with the rest of the world. Sometimes the music, the melody, the rhythms and bass beats and chord progressions come to her in a one swift motion and it hits her and the beat plays in her head over and over again that she has to get up and go to her laptop and start mixing beats. She feels her fingers tingle, feels her whole body prickle with excitement and anticipation and energy at newly discovered musical ideas and she doesn't stop until she is done.

Beca has started to do her own musical compositions, which surprises her, as she's never actually thought about composing original music and as she sits in front of her computer, she's surprised that she hasn't thought of doing it before.

It is during one of these times, when they find themselves both at home, already in bed, when Jesse calls her.

Jesse, busy shooting for "Green Hornet" and preparing for "Soylent Green", calls her and announces, "So, they're looking for someone to score 'Soylent Green' and 'Green Hornet', particularly the opening to credits and stuff, and they wanted someone who would create a soundtrack that would appeal to the youth demographic that it's trying to lure into theaters and you know, to the small screens and I had a few of your mixes and I let the producers hear it and they liked it and they want to meet up with you."

Beca, still groggy and barely awake, does not understand what Jesse is saying at first, but when what Jesse is saying sinks in, explaining a bit about what the producers want, she says, "Oh my god, are you fucking serious?"

Jesse laughs on the other end of the line. "IRS-serious."

The grogginess leaves Beca as she says, "That is awesome!"

"So you'll do it?" Jesse asks, sounding relieved.

"Hell, yeah!" Beca says.

"Oh, good. I was worried you wouldn't," Jesse says now.

After they talk some more, Beca gets off the phone and excitedly announces the news to Chloe and Chloe smiles and congratulates her and says, "I've never seen you this happy."

Beca nods, shrugs and says, "Well, it's a new thing, it's doing something original and stuff…"

"That's aca-awesome!" Chloe smiles and says, out-of-the-blue, "I love you."

What Chloe says surprises Beca so much it strikes her speechless.

* * *

The thing is, Beca has no illusions, no qualms, no delusions about them actually falling in love, marrying, having kids together, moving in to a two-story affair in the country with a St. Bernard and a family SUV and going to PTAs and having Fourth of July family barbecues and doing all the million and one things married couples do together. They both have a tacit agreement that since Beca is still recovering from her divorce, she isn't actually looking for a relationship and they both wanted to take it slow anyway, nothing serious.

Besides, with Beca living in the West Coast and Chloe living in the East Coast, Beca hadn't really expected their relationship to progress to anything further than what they have now.

Beca had never been big on long distance relationships and the only reason she'd been able to keep her relationship with Jesse alive all that time when they were married was because she'd gotten so used to it she hadn't actually minded it. So there was that, and there was also the fact that she knew Barden-era Chloe wasn't big on commitments anyway, and had actually mostly played the field, dated but never had actual relationships. Chloe had casually dated men and women, but she rarely brought her dates home, especially when she moved in with Beca. She was discreet and never one for telling Beca and their friends her Barden college and post-graduate school dates and conquests. In fact, except for that time Beca had inadvertently kind of found out Chloe was getting it on with a frat boy in one of the showers during Beca's freshman year, Chloe tried never to be caught hooking up with anyone again, although she still had the habit of going around half-naked in the apartment in infuriatingly sexy red or black lace underwear, that Beca found distracting. Sexuality wasn't actually an issue with Chloe and she hadn't actually openly discussed with Beca where she was on the Kinsey scale, but Beca had guessed she was a healthy Kinsey six or something. Beca herself hadn't discussed her attraction to women to the other Bellas. People had assumed she was straight because she dated Jesse all throughout college, and because Cynthia Rose and Denise had that on-again, off-again relationship, her having coming out as gay would have been a non-issue as well. What everyone hadn't known was the fact that Beca actually did go out with a girl in high school, senior year, something that hadn't sat well with her the great Dr. Mitchell and her mother. It's not something they talked about during their Barden days and it is certainly not something they talk about now that they are spending time with each other.

Beca isn't sure what to say or feel, about Chloe saying it first, so she doesn't say anything. And she knows that by not acknowledging it, by pretending Chloe hadn't said in the first place, she expected things to fizzle out.

But then a month passes by, and Chloe is still calling, texting, emailing, messaging her on facebook and video conferencing with her on Skype and coming for a visit, sometimes staying for days, planning her work around Beca's schedule.

Then a few more months pass by and Chloe is still around, coming for a visit and spending time with Beca and Beca is surprised because she hadn't actually expected whatever they have to actually last longer than a fortnight and Beca is perplexed. People don't stay, even Jesse, who she had been with for so long, had eventually left, so Beca had expected the same from Chloe as well.

Except Chloe doesn't say it only once. She says it a few more times after that.

* * *

The second time Chloe says it, it's when Chloe visits her again and they are in the bedroom, marathoning lesbian and bi-sexual themed movies on Netflix. They have made it a habit to just stay at home when they see each other, when Beca is not working, ordering take out or Chloe cooking dinner or eating out. Sometimes Beca takes her to the clubs she plays at, and sometimes, a gig at a party or two. Although Chloe enjoys it - Chloe was quite the life of the party during their college days, Chloe actually prefers staying at home cuddling with Beca, so Beca makes an effort to be free when Chloe is in L.A. The other reason they stay at home, and which Beca doesn't tell Chloe, is the fact that she wants to avoid people, her agent, the handful of L.A. friends, acquaintances and co-workers, asking her who Chloe is, or expecting her to introduce Chloe to them, as she is wont to introduce her as her girlfriend because they hadn't actually talked about it as yet. They haven't even discussed whether it was a proper relationship or not, or whether they would continue with the present set up of Chloe dividing her time between New York and L.A.

That particular night, Chloe had wanted a marathon of lesbian and bi-sexual movies, and Beca, having developed a predilection for movie marathons born out having been married to Jesse for so long, had grudgingly agreed. Jesse had believed quality time with one's spouse meant watching all the John Williams themed movies for two straight days. Chloe had mentioned having hung out at an L-Word viewing party once when she was at Barden, and Beca had said, "There was an L-Word viewing party at _Barden_?!" to which Chloe had laughed in delight before saying, "Yes."

"How come I never knew about this?"

"You were too busy _brooding_, and being all angst-y and you know, that Jesse thing was still going on, so," Chloe had said. She had smiled and said, "Besides, those L-Word viewing parties are by invitation only."

"But L-Word's _awful_. I can't sit through that crap for more than a few minutes. I gave up after Jenny Schecter wouldn't _die._ And also because I fucking hate Betty."

Chloe laughs. "So you did catch a few episodes of it then," Chloe points out. "That's pretty gay."

Beca had blushed and shrugged her shoulders mumbling something about wanting to check it out because Jesse, for some strange reason, had expressed interest in it.

She had cued some movies on Netflix and they had settled back on the bed and had started watching the movies, but halfway through movies with titles such as "It's in the Water", "Out at the Wedding" and "Claire of the Moon", Chloe had stopped the movie and said, "Wow, don't freak out, but all these movies _suck_."

Beca gives her an apologetic smile and says, "I'm sorry." Chloe only smiles as Beca moves the computer on to the desktop and Chloe snuggles closer to her when she comes back. They are silent for a while before Beca says, "It is true then…all lesbian movies _suck._"

"Well, there were some good ones, like 'Saving Face' and 'Imagine Me and You'," Chloe points out.

"Yeah, but that's about it," Beca says.

"Fair point."

Beca is silent for a while before she says, "I know! We should totally discuss great movies that can't be watched twice. I'll go with 'Boys Don't Cry'…and maybe 'Monster'…I mean Charlize Theron getting it on with Christina Ricci…so _wrong_ and so _traumatic_…Oh, I know, let's talk about _your_ book."

Chloe smiles before she says, "Um...Why don't we just talk about when you found out you were gay? I'd love to know about _that_."

Beca makes a face. "Ugh. That's great but, no, just…no." She then tilts her head, looks at Chloe and says, pointedly, "I'd much rather talk about this Bradley guy you keep talking to and…Summer…"

Chloe stiffens at the mention of the names, remains quiet for a few moments, before she only smiles, as if nothing has happened and casually says, "Whatever. I'll go first." She thinks for a while before she says, "I'd definitely go with Jen from my Women's Studies 101 class…and my first roommate before I met Aubrey, who was gloriously straight and never, not once, tried to cop a feel with me…and this student I co-starred with in a college play of 'Vagina Monologues' who convinced me to kiss her just so I could see what it was like and to help me get in character…"

Beca just rolls her eyes, refusing to answer Chloe's question, so Chloe only laughs and says, "Fine, let's talk about the gayest things we've ever done." Chloe stops, looks at Beca, waits for her to answer, but when she realizes no comment is forthcoming from Beca, she smiles and says, "I went to three Lilith Fairs in one week once."

Beca laughs. "Yes, you're right. That _is_ very gay. Along with hanging out at an L-Word viewing party."

Chloe rolls her eyes. "Yes, I used to have Tegan and Sara and Indigo Girls on my playlist, too. But then I realized David Guetta had better songs for a playlist and a lady jam, so."

Beca shakes her head. "I can't decide which is gayer, L-Word viewing parties, going to Lilith Fair three times or having Tegan and Sara and Indigo Girls on your playlist."

Chloe grins. "Okay." She leans over and kisses Beca on the cheek, before she moves to kiss her on the lips, grabs her laptop from Beca's hand and whispers, "I love you" to Beca.

Beca is so stunned by it she doesn't know what to say.

* * *

The next time Chloe says it, it is when Beca brings her to one of her DJ-ing gigs at a popular L.A. club.

Incidentally, it is the same club where Beca meets Richard Bradley Wiener-Bowie III. This is also where Jesse and Aubrey Posen happen to be as well.

Beca had been taking a break and another DJ had taken over, and she is by a table with Chloe beside her when both Jesse and Richard Bradley appear in the club. Aubrey just suddenly appears in between Beca's set.

Richard Bradley comes first and approaches their table. Jesse comes a few minutes later.

Richard Bradley is a tall, medium-built figure that booms a "Hey" behind Chloe. Everyone turns to see a tall, blond, blue-eyed, perfect movie star All-American type guy who reminded her a bit of a Ryan Gosling slash James Franco type. Beca tries to recall why the name and the face are familiar. As the man moves to shake her hand, she suddenly realizes where she'd heard the name before.

It is the same up-and-coming young politician mentioned in the tabloids, linked to movie star Jennifer Scott, who is currently being linked to Jesse.

Richard Bradley probably realizes what the look of recognition from Beca's face so he smiles and says, "No, whatever you've heard from the tabloids, all of it is _not_ true. Jennifer Scott is a barely an acquaintance, although I've heard Mr. Swanson is a good friend."

Jesse says, "Please, call me Jesse, Mr. Swanson is my father. But I'm sorry, your name is Wiener? So your nickname is Dick Wiener?"

Richard Bradley only smiles as Beca hits Jesse on the arm. Richard Bradley shakes his head and says, "No, it's fine. That's not the worst thing I've heard."

Jesse only says, "So I'd like to make a joke about dicks…but it's too long."

This time, Beca hits him on the head.

Richard Bradley laughs out loud and says, "Oh, don't worry about it. I've heard worse. Ah, but if we were to talk about dick jokes, Star Wars has a lot of those unintentional dick jokes. Like, one of my favorites is 'Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?' and 'Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?'"

"Oooh, a 'Star Wars' fan. I should totally introduce you to my friend Benji," Jesse says. "He is super into 'Star Wars'. When we roomed together in college, the whole dorm was a shrine to Star Wars and George Lucas."

"Yeah?" Richard Bradley says, his eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree. "That would be awesome."

"Oh, I have an unintentional 'Star Wars' dick joke," Jesse says. "'Put that thing away before you get us all killed'."

Richard Bradley grins before he says, "Oh, how about this, "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."

Beca leans over and announces, "I still don't get all the love for Star Wars. It's fine as a study as the interchangeability of the hero figure, but it isn't all that impressive."

"Never say that in front of Star Wars fans…at Comic Con," Jesse says now. "It would kill them. Or maybe cause a mass riot."

Richard Bradley nods. "Besides, Star Wars is awesome."

"Yeah, Star Wars is awesome," Jesse says.

Beca rolls her eyes. "_Please_. You think Ang Lee's Hulk is awesome. Lee's Hulk proved that Crouching Tiger is an anomaly. Life of Pi is awesome."

"Life of Pi _is_ awesome," Jesse says. "Awesome soundtrack, too."

They sit in silence awhile before Jesse turns to Richard Bradley and asks, "If you could remove the memory of having seen the Star Wars prequels, would you?"

Richard Bradley replies, "The first one came out when I was young. I thought it was fantastic. I was a stupid boy. So, yes, I would remove that memory."

Jesse stares at him for a few moments before he throws back his head and laughs. "I like you." Jesse continues, "I agree. The movie's story develops at the pace of soil erosion. The cinematography is great, but the very landscape mocks you and you're predilection for space operas. And George Lucas should never be allowed around movies anymore."

Later, Richard Bradley says, "So I hear from Chloe that you're like a big movie and TV star or something and that you're starring in some remake of 'Green Hornet' and 'Soylent Green', both of which I am a big fan of. Congrats."

Jesse only says, "I'm really not that good. My only talent is converting carbon dioxide to oxygen."

Someone says "Hey," and they all turn and there, standing stiff and serious and uncomfortable, is Aubrey Posen. Aubrey is working as an editor and publishing executive in New York, a job that Beca thinks is perfect for Aubrey's particular skill set.

It takes Beca and Jesse a moment to recover before they both say, "Hey."

As Aubrey comes up beside Chloe, dark honey blonde hair falling in waves down on her shoulders and her back, eyes clear and watchful, looking somber and stern as she looks from Beca to Jesse and back.

"Beca…Jesse," Aubrey says to Beca, then Jesse now.

"Aubrey," Beca says back.

"Satan," Jesse says.

Beca and Aubrey both glare at Jesse, before Beca hits Jesse on the shoulder.

"Jesse!" Beca hisses.

Jesse only grins.

Aubrey raises an eyebrow before she says, stiffly, "So, I see why you divorced this one. Nice to see you, too, Jesse."

"Aubrey," Chloe chides her now.

"Sorry," Aubrey says. She raises her chin and says, "Fine, you look nice, Jesse. Have you been working out?"

Jesse grins. "Thanks! Do you want to see my rock hard abs? Things have changed since college..."

"…Because your abs look like they're pharmaceutically enhanced," Aubrey continues.

The smile on Jesse's face disappears as Beca smirks.

When Aubrey's order appears, and Jesse says, "Ooh, fries, nice!" as he reaches over to get some fries from Aubrey's plate.

Aubrey glares at Jesse before she says, "I'm sorry, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your dirty fingers into other people's food?"

Jesse only grins. "No, I'm from this country."

Aubrey continues to glare at him as she says, "I hope you choke on your fries."

Jesse ignores her as he pops French fries into his mouth, chewing with his mouth open, as Aubrey says, "You are so _aca_-disgusting."

Jesse laughs as Aubrey says, "Do you mind closing your mouth while you're chewing?"

Jesse pretends not to hear her as he happily eats fries from Aubrey's plate.

"So I hear you're an actor now," Aubrey says with one eyebrow raised.

Chloe leans over to Beca and whispers, "Aren't you going to do something about this?"

Beca shakes her head and says, "No. This is fascinating."

Chloe shakes her head as Jesse says, "Yes, I'm an actor."

"Where you in that road trip drinking movie whatever? Because I could swear that was you." Aubrey says. When Jesse nods enthusiastically, Aubrey says, "Because in that movie, around the hour-and-a-half mark, the movie makes the fateful decision _not_ to end. Worse, the movie keeps not-ending for another full hour."

Jesse stops, stares at Aubrey, not knowing what to say, as Chloe and Beca try not to say anything. Beca bites the smile from her face.

Jesse doesn't know what to say for a few minutes, before he says, "You're horrible, you know that?"

Aubrey says, "I mean, if I appear in movies like that, I'd get addicted to pills and alcohol, too."

"You're _really_ horrible, you know that?" Jesse says again.

"Jesse's in the remake of 'Green Hornet'," Beca offers.

Aubrey makes a face before she says, "Congratulations, Jesse, although I seriously don't understand this fixation on superheroes."

Jesse says, "Well, aren't superhero movies much like power fantasies? In which the use of America's status as a superpower is reflected by the hero struggling to use his or her power responsibly?"

Aubrey rolls her eyes before she says, "Whatever."

* * *

The night would have been perfect, too, except Richard Bradley chooses to take Chloe aside and starts to chat with her somewhere else, whilst Aubrey decides to leave after a few minutes of watching the set because Jesse chooses this time to bicker with Aubrey.

"Wow, Richard Bradley seems like an awesome guy," Jesse comments with a smile.

When Beca turns to him and glares, the smile on Jesse's face disappears and says, "You're right, Richard Bradley Wiener-Bowie The Third does look a bit ferret-faced, and his ears _do_ look like someone has left the cab doors open and he has cheeks like a clutch bag."

Beca looks at him and Jesse winks at her. "Yeah, he has a chin's that a bit too long and pointed, and he has too many teeth in his mouth…and those teeth are a bit too sharp and scary. Yeah, he looks all-American, the all-American-with-the-drop-dead-male-model-perfect -teeth smile. Can't wait for the all-American sex and stuff."

Beca laughs before she glares at Jesse. The thought of Chloe sleeping with someone else, especially someone like Richard Bradley, fills her with irritation. She doesn't know why she feels this, they have never even discussed being exclusive anyway.

"So, how're those soundtracks coming along?" Jesse asks now, interrupting her train of thought.

"Well, it's a bit challenging, but doable," Beca says.

Jesse waits for Beca to speak more, but when he realizes no further elaboration is forthcoming, Jesse says, in exasperation, "That's it? You're not giving me anymore? Give me something more to go here or something."

Beca rolls her eyes. "Well, since your boss wanted some…industrial rock slash techno pop slash rave but not really rave, in the way of 'Trainspotting' and 'Requiem for a Dream' and 'The Beach' and…"

"Ah, 'Trainspotting' is awesome," Jesse says. "Both the book and movie. Awesome soundtrack, too. 'Requiem for a Dream' is awesome, too. Clint Mansell totally rocks."

"Yes, but where 'Trainspotting' is kind of uplifting, 'Requiem for a Dream' is kind of depressing and angst-y," Beca casually points out. "Sometimes Clint Mansell's music feels like they're all the same."

Jesse stops, stares at Beca and says, "Oh my god, who are you and what have you done with my ex-wife?"

Beca looks at him, confused, before she says, "What?"

"I never thought I'd see the day you actually criticize a movie for being too depressing and angst-y," Jesse says. "Isn't that your thing?"

Beca glares at him. "Shut up," she says as Jesse throws back his head and laughs. When Jesse stops laughing, Beca says, "Anyway, I don't know what the music is sounding like…it sounds a bit like Eric Serra's music from 'Fifth Element' but way less cooler…I'm a fucking hack…_ugh_."

Jesse smiles, and puts an arm on her shoulder. "I'm sure your music is fine."

* * *

When Jesse and Richard Bradley move off to chat some more away from Chloe and Beca, Chloe leans over to Beca and whispers, "God, you're so adorable now. I love you."

* * *

It's not that it's too soon. Or that it's too fast or she hasn't figured out what she feels for Chloe yet. Mostly she's just afraid, and she's been having difficulty articulating this fear. But the more Chloe says it to her, the more it freaks her out, and that night, when Chloe says it, and Beca doesn't say it back, Chloe just smiles and whispers, "It's okay, you don't need to say it back…"

* * *

Beca divides her time between working in clubs and working at home, in her own mini-recording studio and in the recording studio itself, working with the directors, producers and writers of "Soylent Green" and "Green Hornet". "Soylent Green", as the studio execs have described it, is a remake unlike any other, shunning the slightly sexist original movie and making it a bit more relevant for the Twenty First Century. "Soylent Green" is a cross between a John Grisham thriller and a Steven Spielberg sci-fi movie, but with a quirky, gritty, indie movie feel to it, with shaky camera movements, giving it a bit of a documentary feel to it, documenting the harrowing fall from grace that humanity has fallen into when the hero, played by Jesse Swanson, realizes the food everyone is eating is dead humans.

Looking at her ex-husband channeling all the angst and confusion and anxiety and trapped feeling that a dystopian nightmare future evokes, Beca can't help but feel proud of him and she tries to match the mood of the remake with her own kind of music.

"Green Hornet" is a bit trickier. The producers had already created a pilot episode which the studio liked and had ordered thirteen episodes, to be aired during the fall season line-up of the studio. If the audience liked the episodes, and the ratings were a success, then an additional nine more episodes would be shot and scored. Initial reviews and buzz online have had positive feedback about "The Green Hornet". It helped that the producers, writer and directors involved in the show had decided to distance itself from the idiotic movie remake that starred Seth Rogen, had adapted a bit of the original television series, but also tried to be its own show. It is a cross between a crime procedural and a slightly soap opera drama kind of show, with smaller villains every episode and a bigger villain that needs to be defeated during the whole season. Borrowing inspiration from some television shows that Jesse and Chloe, who both liked different kinds of television shows (she herself didn't really actively watch movies or television shows unless either one of them watched it with her) watched, she had tried to do a mash-up music for the show that was slightly upbeat, but hip and brooding and kinetic, following the feel of what the original "Green Hornet" was like.

Jesse had been supportive of her work. Despite his busy schedule, he drops by the apartment once in a while, both of them spending large amounts of time playing Mass Effect and Guitar Hero when Beca finds herself facing a brick wall of creativity, unable to continue with the music.

Once, he'd come with a flash drive full of theme songs, to get Beca in the zone. When Beca had opened the folder labeled "theme songs", she was surprised.

Beca asks, "What's this?"

Jesse grins and says, "Theme songs! More specifically, Superman songs! To get you in the zone and stuff." He'd leaned over and pointed at the songs, "Check it out, 3 Doors Down, 'Kryptonite'! Taylor Swift, 'Superman'!"

"I fail to see how Superman theme songs will help me get in the zone but hold up, Taylor Swift wrote a song about Superman?!" Beca asks now. "Isn't that weird? Although I can't wait for her pseudo-break up song with Superman."

"I also put Five For Fighting's 'Superman (It's Not Easy)'?" Jesse says.

"Fuck that song is cheesy as hell," Beca says.

"Fair enough," Jesse says. "How about 'Brian McKnight's 'Superhero'?" Then he starts singing, "_ 'One! You're like Krypton come true!_"

Beca says, "What I really hate about that song is how when you get to step four you have to repeat steps one through three, yet there's a step five. How the fuck are we supposed to get to step five, dude? Every time we get to step four we have to go back to the beginning man!"

Jesse grins and says, "Ah, but step four does not tell you to repeat step four! So the sequence would be: one-two-three-four-one-two-three-five. Then again, if ever we should think our work is done, we must start it back at one..."

"Nerd!" Beca says. As she scrolls down the document folder she sees other songs and comments, "Dude, you put the theme song for 'Greatest American Hero' here, and Bonnie Tyler's 'Holding Out for a Hero' and Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive'? How are these supposed to get me in the zone? These are cheesy as hell!"

Jesse grins and says, "I think the 'Greatest American Hero' theme song is the greatest TV superhero theme song _ever. _When you start playing it, it inevitably stays there for days. And Bonnie Tyler's 'Holding Out For A Hero' is awesome. As for Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive", I'd like to think that Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" is about Supes and Lois' relationship."

As Beca starts to roll her eyes, Jesse starts to sing, in a falsetto voice, "_At first I was afraid, I was petrified…_" he pauses, waiting for Beca to sing with him, but she just sits back on the couch and glares at him, so Jesse sings, "_Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side… But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong…And I grew strong…and now I'm back on my own…"_

Jesse stands up, holding out his hands to Beca, but Beca still shakes her head, so Jesse starts to dance and sing, "_And so you're back…From outer space!_"

"Ah, you're right, that is a superhero theme song," Beca concedes sarcastically with a grin and a shake of the head.

Jesse says, "There's also "Can You Read By Mind" by Maureen McGovern, from Superman The Movie." He then starts to sing, in the same falsetto voice, "_Here I am like a kid at a school…holding hands with a God, I'm a fool…Will you look at me quivering like a little girl shivering? You can see right through me…"_

Beca stops and thinks about this before Beca says, "You singing that like a little girl just makes you sound super gay and Superman coming out as _gay_…"

Jesse looks at Beca before he throws his head back and laughs.

"Fine!" Jesse says. "Let's talk about…John Williams! My love for John Williams and his themes is deep! Deep as the Mariana's Trench! It's long!"

"Seriously?" Beca says, "John Williams kind of likes to rip off other people's work though and passing them off as his own."

"How dare you! Sacrilege!" Jesse says. "But you're right. Superheroes don't have memorable themes anymore. The only composer who's even trying these days is Alan Silvestri."

Beca says, "Dude, there's also Michael Giacchino. His work on 'The Incredibles' was _incredible_. He needs to get hired to do some superhero movies. Although I guess we can say 'Anyone but Zimmer'. Everything he does now sounds exactly the same. I can't tell which is which even if someone put a gun to my head. He makes James Horner seem much less repetitive in comparison, so I suppose I should be thankful for small favors?" Then Beca stops and says, "Oh, god, I know _soundtracks_. Fuck, what's happening to me?"

Jesse laughs.

Suddenly Beca's phone rings and as she picks up her phone, Chloe's image flash onto the screen. Jesse leans over Beca's shoulder and grins.

"You hooking up with Chloe?" Jesse asks.

"No," Beca says, blushing. "And that's none of your business."

Jesse shakes his head. "Aaawww, that would have been cool though. I mean, if you are, I heartily approve. Chloe's hot. And cool. At the same time. Plus I think she's perfect for you."

Beca looks at him, tilting her head. "How do you figure?"

Jesse shrugs. "I think she's nice. And she kind of can make you do stuff nobody else can. Like audition for the Bellas or solo and stuff like that."

Beca looks up now and says, "She's on her way here…"

Jesse says, "What?"

"I…"

Then the doorbell rings and Beca gets up, heads to the door and opens it and there, standing before her, is Chloe, all smiles and excitement.

"Hey," Beca says, smiling.

"Hey," Chloe says, stepping forward and makes to kiss Beca but Beca steps aside instead and avoids her kiss, indicating that she has company by gesturing to the living room.

Chloe knits her eyebrows as she moves to see who it is.

Beca doesn't miss the slight look of displeasure on Chloe's face when she sees Jesse in shorts and a tee shirt, sitting on the couch, with his laptop in front of him, playing computer games.

"I'm sorry," Beca says. "After the divorce, I told him he's not welcome here anymore, but he just keeps coming here and I don't know how to make him stop."

"I heard that," Jesse calls out right now.

Chloe only smiles a neutral smile.

Jesse looks up now and says, "Hey, Chloe", before he closes his laptop, gets up and says, "Gotta go anyway, since I seem to be unwelcome here anyway."

"Yeah, you do that," Beca says.

"But before I go," Jesse says. "I want to tell you something…"

Beca raises her eyebrows. "What's that?"

Jesse looks at Beca with a mock longing look on his face, does not speak for a few minutes, befor he suddenly starts to sing Foreigner's 'I want to know what love is', "_I wanna know what love is!_"

Beca knits her eyebrows in annoyance as she says, "Okay, that's enough. Please go, before you scare away the last remaining friends I have."

Jesse ignores her and continues to sing, "_I want you to show me!_" Before Beca can continue to speak, Jesse sings, "_I wanna feel what love is!... I want you to show me!_"

As Beca leads Jesse out into the hallway and the front door, she says, "You are such an _asshole_."

"Anything to help you get laid," Jesse whispers now.

Beca shoves him out the door, mutters, "Goodbye, Jesse" and slams the door on his face.

Though Chloe seems happy to see her, Beca cannot help but notice how unhappy and distracted she seems to be.

* * *

And the thing is, the more Chloe says it, the more Beca feels like she is incapable of saying it. And the more Beca doesn't say it, the more it puts a slight strain in their relationship. Chloe is a real trooper though, ignoring or pretending everything is alright, and Beca follows suit, although Beca doesn't miss the mild restlessness and listlessness Chloe seems to develop in light of Beca's inability to tell her she loves her back. Chloe also starts to hint about getting tired of flying to L.A. all the time, and subtly hints about wanting Beca to come visit her in New York or for them to go on vacation somewhere, but like everything else, Beca just ignores it and hopes Chloe doesn't raise it again.

The day before Cynthia Rose and Denise's wedding day in Hawaii, their friends, former Barden Bellas and some Trebles, fly in to attend their wedding. Chloe flies in from New York, with Aubrey in tow, whilst Beca flies in from L.A., with Jesse for company.

Beca and Chloe don't see each other until a few hours later, during the bonfire slash dinner party at the beach that Cynthia Rose and Denise hold for friends and family members, the night before their wedding. The party is in full swing and Beca can't help but notice how beautiful the beach is, with its palm trees and verdant mountains and the blue ocean and the blood-red sun just setting over the horizon.

Jesse, Benji and Donald start a fire and start drinking beer around the fire with Cynthia Rose, Denise, Ashley, Jessica, Stacie, Lilly, Fat Amy and Beca drinking beer, soju, vodka, whiskey and wine. Someone has sneaked in some weed, and so everyone is passing around weed to those not currently recovering from rehab. Benji, who doesn't drink and Jesse, who's sworn of drinking, are drinking juice and soda.

There had been a bit of tension when Fat Amy and the rest of the Bellas had seen Jesse with Beca, with Fat Amy, back from touring with her band and delight at seeing Beca again, looking suspiciously at Jesse. When she sees Jesse as well, she smiles tightly at the man before she says, "Ah, I see you're now friends with turdburger here…"

"Amy…it's not like that," Beca had said, shaking her head. "Well, it _is_ like that but…"

Fat Amy had looked at Jesse from head to toe, with an eyebrow raised as Jesse stands there looking uncomfortable in his flowery Hawaiian shirt, shorts and flip flops, before Amy nods and says, "Eh, whatever. But you mess with Beca and you get the whole wrath of the Bellas and the rest of Australia down your back…"

The rest of the Bellas, Cynthia Rose, Denise, Lilly, Ashley, Stacie had all nodded vigorously, before Jesse nervously turns to Beca in confirmation and Beca shakes her head in reassurance.

Jesse smiles, relieved, before he asks Fat Amy, "What, are you going to sing me to death or something?"

Beca hits him on the arm and says, "Don't push your luck."

Jesse, now having gotten over his fear of retaliation from the Bellas, drinks from his juice box and announces, "Ah, I love Hawaii already!"

Beca only nods as she spots a flash of red hair at about the same time Jesse does and Jesse nudges her and announces, "Dude, hot, red-haired lady you need get it on with at twelve o'clock."

Beca only smiles sarcastically at him as she cranes her neck to see where Chloe is. Jesse motions with his head and Beca turns to see. At first she doesn't see anything but a sea of faces and bodies, But then, amidst all that, she sees her - Chloe, _her_ Chloe, in a tight-fitting button-down blouse plunging down to reveal just a little cleavage and equally tight shorts. She is making her way down the beach, holding her sandals in her hands. Chloe looks, as she always does, very sexy and Beca finds herself thinking how much she would want Chloe in bed right about now.

Jesse makes an appreciative whistle that makes Beca glance at him as he gives Chloe an approving look. "Dude, I can't believe you're not tapping _that_. Or at least making an effort to do that. Chloe's _hot_, dude. Like _severely_ hot."

Beca glares at Jesse and hits him on the head and Jesse yelps an "Ow!" as Beca says, "Dude, have some respect, that's my friend you're talking about there."

"Sorry," Jesse mutters now.

Chloe spots her at about the same time Beca does. Their eyes meet and there's a slow smile that spreads on Chloe's face as she sees Beca. She picks up the pace, and makes her way down the beach and to Beca in no time.

"Hey," Chloe says now.

"Hey," Beca says, smiling and standing up as Chloe moves to hug her.

"Hey, Chloe," Jesse says.

Beca doesn't miss the fact that the smile on Chloe's face falters a bit when she hears, then sees Jesse behind Beca. There's an inaudible sigh that escapes Chloe's lips as she says, out loud, "Hey, Jesse, what's up?"

Jesse grins as he says, "Nothin'. You?"

Chloe shakes her head. "Nothing much."

Another voice attached to a tall, blonde woman comes up from behind, a person Beca doesn't notice has come with Chloe to the beach. The person speaks now.

"Hey," Aubrey Posen says.

"Hey," Jesse and Beca say.

Aubrey raises an eyebrow and says, "Beca…Jesse…Try to act like you're at least a little bit excited to see me, won't you?"

Jesse and Beca only grin. Jesse says, "What, and if we don't, are you going to barf us to death or something?"

When Aubrey only glares at Jesse in irritation, Jesse says, with a grin, "Sorry."

"Ho-_kay_," Chloe says, interrupting everyone. "That's okay. Everyone's fine. Everyone's just tired from their flights, or whatever. I'm thirsty. Can someone get me a beer or something?"

As someone hands Chloe said beer, they are interrupted by a cheerful voice tinged with an Australian accent from behind saying, "Hey, mates! What's up?"

"Hey, Amy," Chloe says now, moving to give Fat Amy a hug.

"Hey, Red," Fat Amy says affectionately now, hugging Chloe.

Chloe laughs and says, "How are you?"

"I'm good, you?" Fat Amy asks. She listens and nods as Chloe says she is doing fine, before she moves to say, "Hey, Aubrey."

As they all settle down around the camp fire, another voice booms from behind, and it is ferret-faced, clutch-bag cheeked, cab door-eared Richard Bradley, and it takes Beca a lot of effort to control herself as the same Richard Bradley is introduced to _her_ friends and he chats everyone up as if he'd known everyone else forever.

When Beca looks at Chloe with a question on her face, Chloe says, "Brad's on vacation, needed a break from all the drama and intrigue so he decided to tag along."

At first, Beca and Chloe sit beside each other, surrounded by Bellas and Trebles. Cynthia Rose and Denise sit with Ashley, Jessica, Fat Amy, Lilly and Aubrey. Jesse sits on the other side of Beca, whilst Benji and Donald sit with Richard Bradley, whom Cynthia Rose and Denise have met earlier and generously invite to the party. Richard Bradley easily fits in with the crowd, laughing and joking and talking with the other guests, even though people keep asking him, "I'm sorry, your name is Dick Wiener?" The bonfire is kept burning in the middle, with people drinking beer and wine whilst some are roasting mallows, while a barbecue grill is set up and a few people gathered around chat and eat barbecue.

Beca, who is just enjoying the nearness of Chloe, pressed close to her, thigh brushing against Beca's in a way that Beca thinks might just be a bit suggestive, her body leaning close to Beca, fingers lightly playing with Beca's thigh as she listens with a faint smile on her face at Jesse and Aubrey arguing.

Beca whispers to Chloe, "So glad you're here." Chloe nods and smiles as Beca whispers, "And you look hot by the way."

Chloe whispers, "Thank you."

Meanwhile, Benji interrupts Jesse and Aubrey arguing with a, "Geez, get a room" and a prompt announcement that Jesse is the new star of 'Green Hornet' and 'Soylent Green'. Fat Amy greets the news with much delight.

Fat Amy says, "Congratulations! We want you shirtless on 'Green Hornet'!" Everyone looks at her as she says, "We want you shirtless and trying on different outfits and looking at the camera suggestively."

Jesse grins at Fat Amy before he says, "Um…thanks…you're weirding me out right now."

Jesse blushes as everyone congratulates him. When all the congratulations are done, Jesse says, "I don't care about that though. I'd much rather talk about…" He then turns to everyone else and says, "Beca scoring a gig scoring music for 'Soylent Green' and 'Green Hornet'."

Everyone looks at Beca, who blushes at the applause given her way as a couple of people hand her bottles of beer.

As someone hands Jesse a meat barbecue and starts to chew on it, with his mouth open, he asks Aubrey, "So Aubrey, what's up with you?"

Aubrey says, "I'm sorry…I'm currently distracted by the half-masticated cow in your mouth right now. Do you mind closing your mouth?"

Jesse only grins and starts to chew even louder. Aubrey rolls her eyes and says, "Whatever."

In a few minutes, Richard Bradley and Chloe move off to chat to each other away from other people, talking intimately like they are the only two people that exist in the world.

When Jesse notices Chloe and Richard Bradley a way off talking to each other, he approaches Beca, sits beside her and as he hands her another bottle of beer that Beca quietly accepts and starts to chug down immediately, Jesse observes her silently before he says, "Are you okay?"

"What?" Beca snaps, never taking her eyes off of Chloe and Richard Bradley laughing and talking, Chloe putting her hand on Richard Bradley's arm and smiling like Richard Bradley has just told her the funniest thing in the world.

"Whoa, easy there, tiger," Jesse says now.

Beca looks at him now and asks, "What?"

"You look like you're about to hulk out any minute now," Jesse observes. When Beca raises her eyebrows in question, Jesse subtly indicates with a movement of the head towards Chloe and Richard Bradley's direction. "Jealous much?"

Beca makes a face. "Fuck you."

Jesse stares at Beca for a long time before a look of understanding dawns on his face and he stares at Beca and says, "Oh my god, Beca, you are so totally into Chloe."

Beca rolls her eyes. "I am not _into_ her."

Jesse looks at her and says, "Oh, you so totally are into her. I mean, wow, if you were any more pissed off at Richard Bradley now, you'd turn into the Hulk."

"Aw, leave me alone, Jesse," Beca says.

Jesse is silent for a while before he speaks up again.

"Does she like you?" Jesse asks, voice neutral and face expressionless.

Beca is surprised by the question and she looks at Jesse with a questioning look on her face. Jesse looks at her with an understanding smile and shrugs. Beca smiles back and shrugs. "I don't know."

"Does she make you laugh? You guys have fun together?" Jesse asks in earnest.

"Jesse…" Beca says, sighing. In truth, she doesn't know how to answer Jesse's question.

Jesse is silent a few minutes before he says, "Does she love you?"

Beca shrugs. "I don't know. Yes, no, maybe."

"More importantly," Jesse continues. "Do you love her back?"

She looks at Jesse now and asks softly, "Does it really matter?"

Jesse just smiles. He puts his arm around Beca, kisses her on the forehead and says, "Sweetie, that's _all_ that matters."

Beca smiles back at him and says, "Thanks." As Beca looks at Chloe and Richard Bradley talking to each other, Beca says, "And the thing is, I wish I could hate the little fucker, but fuck is he such a cool guy."

Jesse smiles. "Yeah, he seems cool for a politician." He is silent for a little while before he pulls her close and says, "We'll get through this."

They look at the other people gathered around the fire and Beca says, "I fucking hate the beach. It's just you and a lot of sand getting into your underwear. What are you dorks talking about?"

When Stacie walks by with Ashley, Jesse overhears Donald say, "How you like them apples?"

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away," Benji says.

"Apples, apparently," Jesse says.

Beca nods, stares up at the sky, rolls her eyes, shakes her head and says, "Of course."

As Jesse leans over to participate in the discussion, Beca says, "Take care, there's a lot of puberty and sexual frustration there."

They look at each other, throw back their heads and laugh.

Beca says, "You guys are dorks."

"Let's take a moment to admire the simple pleasures of life," Donald says as they all sit back and look at Stacie.

Donald leans over and says, "I've got a more important question, which is better? The original Richard Donner Superman movies, Bryan Singer's Superman Returns, or Zack Snyder's Man of Steel?"

Beca says, "Zack Fucking Snyder! Ugh." Everyone looks at her as she says, "The film's biggest problem is that it's boring. It was horribly, eye-searingly _boring_."

Stacie says, "Yeah. But Henry Cavill is hot though."

"But you forget Henry Cavill did 'Immortals'," Jesse points out. "For which he should never ever be forgiven for." He turns to Richard Bradley now and says, "I've love to see Watchmen as an HBO television series."

Stacie says, "Yeah, I'd look forward to all the blood and gore and violence and gratuitous sex scenes and nudity."

Beca makes a face before she turns to Chloe and says, "Speaking of which, your Gran is _weird._ She reads erotica fiction about unicorns having filthy, angry rage sex with rainbows in a filthy back alley."

"Unicorns having sex with rainbows?" Chloe asks now.

"Angry, rage sex," Beca corrects her. "Just thinking about it grosses me out. I don't know if that's more a mood killer than your Gran interrupting us with a point-by-point account of her bodily functions."

Chloe smiles at her, leans over and whispers, "You are so adorable right now."

Beca grins before she whispers, "What are you doing later? Your place or mine?"

Chloe just rolls her eyes as they watch Ashley come to get Stacie. As they watch them move off to somewhere, Chloe watches them leave before she listens over to Beca and whispers, "Those two are so hooking up."

Beca looks at her. "No freaking way."

"Yes freaking way," Chloe whispers with a smug smile on her face.

"So does that mean that's like four out of ten gay people in the Barden Bellas?" Beca asks now.

"More," Chloe says, grinning. "Six out of ten, actually. The straights are outnumbered."

Beca laughs. "Okay."

* * *

After the party, Jesse, Aubrey, Chloe and Beca share a taxi going to the hotel and to Chloe's grandmother's house. Chloe has noticed the subtle change in Beca's mood, but she doesn't say anything. In fact, she actually convinces Beca to stay the night at Chloe's grandmother's place.

At first everyone is quiet inside the cab. Jesse, having sworn off alcohol, is the only sober one. There is silence at first in the taxi. But then, Jesse and Aubrey start talking. They don't know how the arguing starts. Jesse had bought some Cheetos and had been noisily munching on them, passing the bag to Fat Amy as he does so. Then he drinks coke from the can by stabbing the bottom of the can and busily and noisily drinking the coke from the bottom and burping and everyone is making a face as he is doing so.

"Ugh, I really can't believe you married this guy," Aubrey says now, making a face as she does so, "So glad you divorced him."

Jesse only grins at them. "Sorry. I'm a lot more fun with beer on me, but I'm not allowed to drink any of that anymore, so Beca's here to make sure I don't relapse so it was either beer or this."

"You are so aca-_disgusting_," Aubrey says now.

"Disgusting?" Jesse says now. "Drinking coke from the can is disgusting? How is that disgusting?"

"Because it's stupid!" Aubrey says now.

"Stupid?!" Jesse asks now. "How is that stupid? And what's wrong with being stupid once in a while? You should try it it's fun."

"No, I can't say I have done anything stupid, because unlike you, I'm not an idiot," Aubrey says evenly.

"Oh, yeah, sure, right," Jesse says now. "I bet you haven't even thrown water balloons at anyone. I bet you didn't even try throwing spitballs at someone. I bet you didn't try being shitfaced. I bet you were always perfect and poised, every perfect, shiny, glossy, strand of blonde hair in place, never out frizzy or dry or whatever…"

"Okay, so now I don't know if he's just coming on to my best friend or just really asking for it," Chloe whispers now.

"I seriously don't want to see your best friend hurl all over us," Beca whispers back.

"I bet you haven't even tried being spontaneous or crazy or ridiculous or totally off-the-wall," Jesse says.

"Whatever," Aubrey says now, folding her arms in front of her and sitting back on the seat, eyes forward.

"You know what you are, Aubrey," Jesse says now. "You're repressed. _Aca_-repressed to be more exact."

"Jesse…" Beca says now.

"I'm not repressed," Aubrey says confidently now.

"Oh, yeah? Prove it," Jesse says now.

"I don't have to prove anything to you," Aubrey says now.

"Just like old times, huh?" Beca whispers to Chloe now. She then turns to Jesse and says, in a louder voice, "Jesse, stop it. Lay off Aubrey."

"But dude, isn't Aubrey repressed?" Jesse says now.

"I take it back," Aubrey says now. "You're not an idiot. You're just an _asshole_. Just an _aca-asshole_."

"Will people stop using the word 'aca' as an all-around prefix, an adjective, whatever," Beca says now.

Chloe laughs. "_Nerd_."

"Repressed, _repressed_!" Jesse taunts Aubrey now.

"I am not repressed!" Aubrey says.

"You so are!" Jesse says now. "Repressed! _Repressed!_"

"I am _not_," Aubrey says. "I can lose control. I can…"

"Oh, god, your friend's not going to hurl all over the back seat of a taxi cab is she?" Beca whispers to Chloe now.

Chloe, who is listening intently to the argument now, looking at both Jesse and Aubrey, suddenly says, "Oh, my god!"

When Beca turns to where Chloe is looking at, she sees that Aubrey has rolled down her window, has taken off her shirt and bra, and is saying, "_I'm_ repressed? I'm _repressed? _I'll show you repressed!" before she sticks the whole of her upper body outside the window, flashing the other drivers who happened on the nearly deserted road that leads up to the hotel near a mountain.

"Oh, my god, Aubrey!" Beca says now.

The taxi driver just happens to glance at the rearview mirror right then and he is so surprised he almost runs the cab right into another vehicle before taking hold of the car again and swerving away from the middle lane.

For a few tense moments where the passengers of the cab scream in panic, the cab manages to roll to a stop by the side of the road as the angry cab driver stops the car and almost makes everyone get out and wait by the side of the road for another taxi.

The group sits sullen and angry in the cab for the rest of the ride.

* * *

After Jesse and Aubrey are dropped off at the hotel, the driver heads to Chloe's grandmother's house.

As the cab drives away, Beca turns and spies Jesse with a suggestive wink and thumb's up sign when he thinks Chloe isn't looking and Aubrey looks at Beca with this subtle knowing, disapproving look, that suggests she knows what is going on between Beca and Chloe and is totally against it. No one actually says whatever they are thinking out loud, so Beca is relieved. She hadn't really wanted to have to explain herself, her perceived sudden predilection for women in general and for Chloe in particular, when exactly she and Chloe had gotten together and the many other things dating one of the more popular former Barden Bellas entails.

Beca is quiet as Chloe starts to chatter, but halfway through, Chloe asks, concern in her voice, "Are you okay?"

Beca only nods.

"You sure?" Chloe asks again, uncertain.

Beca nods again.

"You know who else I think is hooking up?" Chloe asks now.

"Who?" Beca asks absently.

"Lilly and Donald," Chloe says triumphantly.

Beca only nods as she looks out the window.

Chloe must realize that Beca is not in the mood because she falls silent after this last bit of news.

They don't talk when they arrive at Chloe's grandmother's house.

* * *

The cab driver then drives Beca and Chloe to Chloe's grandmother's place.

Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Robinson greet Chloe and Beca with much delight and excitement, both of them tickled pink to see them together. Once brunch and catching up on each other as it had been months since Chloe and Beca had seen Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Robinson, Chloe and Beca are allowed to retreat to Chloe's room, which her grandmother has thoughtfully prepared for her.

When they get in, Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Robinson are arguing.

"What are you guys arguing about?" Chloe asks as she moves to hug and kiss both Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Robinson.

Mrs. Robinson snorts in response and says, "Your grandmother wants to be cremated and have her ashes thrown over an active volcano."

Mrs. Jones rolls her eyes. "It's a perfectly decent request. I leave this world in style."

Mrs. Robinson says, "Risking the lives of the people around you so you can leave the world in style via means of having your ashes scattered over an active volcano is just…preposterous."

"Would you rather I have my ashes mixed in with the paint that you will inevitably use to repaint the house with?" Mrs. Jones says.

"Ugh, it's like living with a _child_," Mrs. Robinson says. "And what if the volcano explodes? What if an earthquake happens? Have you ever thought of that? This is worse than that time you wanted us to scatter your ashes while skydiving or _bungee jumping_. I can't believe you're related to her, Chloe. I don't know how you can stand it."

Chloe laughs. "I'm staying out of this one."

"That's actually a thing," Beca says casually. "It's a movie called 'Red Violin'. This violin maker person, his wife dies, so he has her ashes or blood or something mixed in with the paint or something he uses for the violin…and the violin is haunted for more than a century…"

"That's just disturbing," Mrs. Robinson says. "And you've just given Claire a new idea…and no, Claire, we _are_ not doing that."

"Party pooper!" Mrs. Jones says. "Goober!"

"This is much worse than that time you let those religious people in and they started talking about the rapture and they had you preparing a survival kit for when in case you get left behind!" Mrs. Robinson says.

"What, it's perfectly normal to prepare for the rapture!" Mrs. Jones says. "I'd like to be prepared for anything."

Mrs. Robinson says, "Yes, is that why you wanted to check out which coffin was the most comfortable?" She looks at both younger women and says, "That was a harrowing experience that no one should ever experience." She then looks at Mrs. Jones again and says, "And don't get me started on those pseudo Bible studies you used to go to before I made you stop because your Bible study group had a frightening fixation on Revelation."

"Revelation is probably one of the best books in the Bible!" Mrs. Jones says.

Mrs. Robinson says, "It's also the most dense and totally indiscernible, perhaps most incomprehensible book in the Bible."

"That is not true," Mrs. Jones says.

"It looks like it was written by someone who was high!" Mrs. Robinson says.

As Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Robinson start to bicker and Beca watches them do it, she leans over to Chloe and says, "Well, at least I know where you get your dated expressions."

Chloe smiles before she hits her on the arm.

"Ow!"

As they go into Chloe's room, Beca says, "Um, so we're sharing a room?"

Chloe looks up as she sits down on the large sized bed and says, "Um, yeah. Is that going to be a problem?"

Beca cautiously approaches her before saying, "Um, no, not really. Except I feel a bit weird sharing a bed with someone I'm having, er, carnal relations with while under the roof of said person's, er, grandmother."

Chloe grins as she motions for Beca to sit beside her. "You didn't seem to have those problems when _we_ were staying in your apartment."

"Technically, we just made out," Beca points out now.

Chloe inches closer and encloses Beca in a long, tender hug. When she pulls back, she kisses Beca again before she whispers, "So does that mean, I don't get to have my way with you tonight? Are you actually going to behave? Because I'd been thinking of you since the last time we saw each other…"

Chloe has this flirtatious look on her face, this coquettish smile that makes Beca blush, remembering the many different ways in which they've made love when Chloe had been visiting Beca in L.A. As Chloe laughs at Beca's reaction, Beca rolls her eyes and lunges for Chloe, pushing her down on the bed as she kisses her deeply. When she pulls back for air, she whispers, "I said I just feel a bit _weird_ about it. I didn't say we weren't going to do it."

Chloe laughs as she removes her shirt and proceeds to remove Beca's and whilst kissing her, murmurs, "Ah, I'm glad." As she pulls back, she smiles and whispers, "Hey."

Beca, still reeling from Chloe's kiss, whispers, "Hey."

Chloe leans over again and says, "Baby, I've missed you."

Beca looks at her, intrigued, feeling her heart seize a bit at how naturally Chloe calls her this particular term of endearment without hesitation or reservation. Beca has never been one for terms of endearment, and has always referred to people by their first name, including Jesse. She finds though that Chloe calling her this is sweet and vaguely hot.

Beca smiles. "I've missed you, too."

Before she knows it, Chloe is telling her she loves her and Beca wishes she could say it back but finds that she can't. Chloe says it so naturally, so casually, that it causes Beca to stop, look deep into Chloe's blue eyes and she realizes that Chloe means it. She swallows, does not know what to say, or do, and smiles, pretends she doesn't hear it although she kisses Chloe after and holds her tight.

* * *

The day of the wedding itself goes by without a hitch or a problem, except for Cynthia Rose having a last-minute panic attack about tying the knot and being with only one woman for the rest of her life. The other Bellas, Ashley and Jessica, who were bridesmaids for Denise, were currently with Denise in the other room.

Cynthia Rose had sat in her room in her white suit, hyperventilating as she drinks a glass of water Chloe hands to her, Lilly fans her, Beca and Fat Amy try to help her out and Aubrey, being Aubrey, gives her a pep talk on the merits of being married to only one person for the rest of her life, which, just makes Cynthia Rose panic even more.

"Okay, okay," Stacie says now. "I never thought I'd say this, right now, but I'm taking one for the team." Everyone looks at her now as she turns to Cynthia Rose and says, "Do you want to touch my boobs? I know that always makes me feel better."

Aubrey gives Stacie a withering glare. Stacie shrugs and says, "What? I was just trying to help."

Aubrey curtly says, "Don't help."

Chloe and Beca say, "No, Stacie. Just…_no_."

After much encouragement, and a glass of scotch, Cynthia Rose finally gets the courage to leave the room, march down the hotel lobby and into the wedding hall where Denise, in a beautiful wedding dress, is currently waiting for her. Beca though, only has eyes for Chloe, who is the most beautiful woman in the room for her.

* * *

The wedding goes by without any other hitch.

The wedding reception, which takes place right after the wedding, is as simple and understated as the wedding itself, with few guests and a DJ and the Bellas and Trebles hanging out at one big table with their drinks, just talking to each other over the loud music as they watch the others dance on the dance floor.

Beca, who'd been out in the gardens making out with Chloe, had sat beside him and had caught what he had just said, says, "What are you guys talking about?"

She spots Chloe casually entering the room, grinning at her impishly and making her way to her. As she takes her seat beside Beca, Beca smiles. Chloe places her right hand on Beca's left thigh and Beca's left hand comes up and she intertwines her fingers with Chloe's. Chloe looks up and smiles at Beca. Beca just smiles back. Chloe sees Richard Bradley, excuses herself, gets up and starts to talk with Richard Bradley.

Benji turns to Beca and answers, "Songs!"

As Beca rolls her eyes, Fat Amy quips, "For once I want a song about ham."

Everyone stops to stare at Fat Amy and Fat Amy says, "What? Most songs are about love or whatever. Ham is an exciting meat. There should be songs about it."

As the boys continue to chat, Beca overhears Chloe talking to a person, Aubrey, to her left. "…Yeah, it's...'The Day After Yesterday'…"

Aubrey says, "You mean, today?"

"Um…yeah…" Chloe says.

Beca is looking at them and Aubrey catches her gaze and holds it. Beca swallows. There's something in Aubrey's look that Beca can't quite place. Aubrey has always been extremely protective of Chloe, and she realizes, with Aubrey looking at her now, that Aubrey has probably figured out what is going on between Chloe and Beca.

Donald says, "You know what's the problem nowadays? People don't wear garters anymore."

Fat Amy gets up. "You know what? You turdburgers are boring me. I'm going to dance now. You, Donald, dance with me."

Donald grins and says, "I knew you'd like me eventually." He leans over and says, "Just because I rock, doesn't mean I'm made of stone."

Everyone rolls their eyes at Donald as he and Fat Amy move to the dance floor. Chloe comes back to rejoin Beca.

At about the same time, a new mix of Erasure's 'A Little Respect' starts to play over the sound system, and Beca says, "I like this song."

Chloe smiles, squeezes her hand and says, "I like this song, too."

Beca leans over and says, "Let's like this song together on the dance floor."

Chloe nods, blue eyes dancing with mirth. "Although I'm not sure whether I want to dance with Amy and her arms flailing around like that." Both of them look to the dance floor, where Fat Amy and Bumper are currently making the other guests step away from them with their dancing. Presently, Chloe says, "Amy looks like she's beating up a cloud."

Beca says, "And it looks like the cloud is winning."

Chloe laughs as Beca stands up, pulls her up from the chair and leads her to the dance floor.

* * *

Chloe and Bradley spend the rest of the wedding reception talking to each other and at one time disappear from the wedding hall itself.

Beca starts to look for them and catches the two of them outside, by the gardens, hugging, before Chloe pulls back and kisses Bradley.

Beca doesn't stay to watch Chloe kiss Bradley.

She leaves the party.

She doesn't say goodbye to Chloe.

* * *

She goes back to her hotel room, packs her things and leaves her hotel room without saying goodbye to anyone, especially Chloe.

Just as Beca is about to check out of the hotel, she sees Chloe coming up, looking all beautiful and perfect and anxious.

"Hey," Chloe says now. When she sees the luggage beside Beca, Chloe asks, "What's going on?"

Beca is silent for what seems like forever. "You left."

Chloe only looks at her now as she moves off to one side of the hotel counter to let other customers talk to the concierge. Beca follows her, luggage in tow.

"Beca, what are you talking about?" Chloe asks now, confused. "I didn't leave. I'm still here."

"Back in college, at Barden," Beca says. "You left. You didn't even say goodbye. And sooner or later, you're going to leave again. And god knows when I'll see you again."

Chloe looks at her now, even more confused. "Beca, what are you talking about? Are we breaking up?"

Beca shakes her head. "I don't know. I just… I don't know…I mean, I don't even know what this is. Are we even in a relationship? Are you my girlfriend? Or what?"

Chloe looks at her in exasperation, voice sounding tight and controlled. "If you have to ask that, then you don't know what this is…"

"Just…be honest with me. I'm tired of the secretiveness and the mysteriousness and…who in hell is Richard Bradley in your life? And who, or what is Summer actually? And why won't you let me read your work? And where did you get those scars?"

"Beca, please," Chloe says. "This isn't the time. Or the place."

Beca sighs. "Fine, but I'm leaving. I'm taking the next flight out. I wanted to talk to you but…as you said this isn't the time but I guess I wanted to talk or something which apparently you don't like to do but…"

Chloe looks at her now, before she says, "Seriously, Beca? You're picking a fight with me? Right now? Because last time I checked, I wasn't the one who chose Jesse."

Beca looks at her now. "That was different. That was a long time ago. I'm choosing you now."

Chloe sighs. "How do I know you're not going to choose Jesse again? I mean, I've seen how you two are together. And I can't compete with what you have. I can't compete with Jesse, Beca. How do I know you're not going to get back together again and just…leave me hanging or something?"

Beca says, "Jesse's just a friend now." Then she says, "I don't understand what the big deal is."

Chloe says, "The big deal is you talk to Jesse about _everything_. I see him all the time in your apartment. I mean you came here with him. I'm sick and tired of seeing you with Jesse all the time."

Beca says, "Are you asking me to choose between you and Jesse? Why do I have to choose between you and Jesse?"

Chloe replies, "I'm not asking you to do anything, Beca." Chloe pauses, looks at Beca and asks, "And you were the who wanted to take it slow. Who didn't even want anything serious. I mean, what am I to you, anyway, Beca? Am I just a rebound?"

Beca looks at her, confused. "What are you talking about? _No._ And you're the one with this Bradley person whatsisface. And this secret Summer thing whatever…I mean, you don't even tell me what's happened to you since the last time I saw you…"

Chloe sighs now. "That's what I was trying to do now," Chloe says. "Opening up to you, talking to you. But you're so selfish you don't even get it. And Bradley's gay, Beca. We were in Kenya together. He had a _boyfriend_ there. But he's also an up-and-coming gay recently turned Democrat politician running for Congress from a prominent Republican family which thinks the overturning of the Defense of Marriage Act is the most un-American act anyone has ever done. We hung out to avoid trouble. We became close friends. He set up a foundation in Africa and that's what I went back to work on after I finished my contract with Peace Corps. He came today to ask me for advice. He wants to come out to his parents now, but he's afraid they'll disown him…"

Beca feels like an idiot now.

"Chloe, I'm sorry," Beca says softly now.

"And do you really want to know about Summer, Beca?" Chloe asks, putting her arms on her waist as she does so. There's a look on her face that Beca has not seen before, the same look the other Bellas had described as scary, when Chloe had lost her temper over Aubrey, their senior year and had attacked her. "Summer was this kid I met in Kenya. She was a kid that I adored and loved and thought I could adopt…"

"Chloe…" Beca says, suddenly growing deathly afraid.

"She died, Beca, alright?" Chloe says now. "She died of malaria. She died in my arms. She died just when I almost had her papers with me and I could have brought her Stateside so she could have the best care." As Beca stands there, feeling more and more stupid by the second, feeling ashamed of herself, Chloe looks at her, face disappointed and upset as she says, "I meant to tell you that, some day, but not like this, not today, because I didn't think you could handle that stuff, I didn't think you could handle the truth. Besides, Beca, I think you're one of the most self-absorbed people I know. I didn't think you could be interested in that."

"And I don't like showing you my book because it's not yet finished and judging by how you made fun of it the first time I brought it up to you, I seriously don't want to show it to you. I got the scars from being assaulted in India. With Bradley. You should see the twelve inch scar he has on his stomach." Chloe stops, thinks about something for a minute, sighs before she says, "Frankly, I don't even know why I care for you, Beca. I've loved you for the longest time, Beca. And I feel like all you ever do is treat me like shit…And you can't even _say_ it…I mean, what on earth are you even afraid of...?"

When Beca doesn't say anything, Chloe says, "Beca, I can't deal with this right now." They are silent for a while, before Chloe says, "Beca, I think you should…just go... I thought this might work, but evidently it's clear now that this won't really work out. I can't waste my time like this, hoping you'll love me back or just let go of whatever it is that you're so afraid of…I'm not going to sit around waiting for you to be okay with this…Don't call me, don't text me, don't email me, don't do anything. Just leave …"

"Chloe…" Beca starts to say, but Chloe has shaken her head and has turned and walked away, leaving Beca to pick her luggage and leave as well.

* * *

There are a number of times when she is tempted to call Chloe, or leave a message for her, or just text her on her mobile phone, but Beca chickens out at the last minute.

But then after a few months and there are no calls or messages from Chloe, and there are no visits, Beca realizes she actually misses Chloe and so she actually gets the courage to call.

Her problems with Chloe affect Beca in ways she cannot imagine. She hits a brick wall in her composing. The producers, studio executives, her agent, Jesse, are all asking about the soundtrack. When Jesse calls her once, she says that she's currently experiencing a brick wall, so Jesse comes one day, with the DVD of a movie called "Cloud Atlas".

"What's this?" Beca asks.

Jesse shrugs. "I saw this once on cable and I couldn't stop watching it. Benji absolutely loves it. I'd like you to watch and listen to the soundtrack with me."

So they watch the movie. On the halfway mark, there is a nice quotation that Jesse and one of the lead characters recite, "All boundaries between sound and noise are just conventions…"

Here, Jesse looks at Beca and says, "In fact, all boundaries are conventions…waiting to be transcended."

Beca looks at him, silently, before Jesse puts an arm around Beca and says, "Beca, I love you, really I do, but sometimes, you have got to be the most emotionally impotent person I know. I know why you're having problems with your composing…"

"Oh, yeah?" Beca asks, trying to sound cocky, but failing miserably.

"Yeah," Jesse says. When Beca doesn't offer anything, Jesse says, "You love Chloe…"

Beca makes to protest, and starts to deny it, opening her mouth, before closing it again, unable to say anything. "I…that's not…I don't…"

"Yeah, you do," Jesse says. "I've seen the way you look at her. I've seen how happy you are with her. You weren't that happy with me. I don't understand why you'd deny yourself that happiness now…"

"Jesse…"

"Beca," Jesse says, in reply. "If you have a chance for happiness, then you should grab it. That's like a once in a lifetime kind of thing. Like the unstoppable force with the immovable object and stuff. You deserve to be happy. Chloe deserves it, too. Why torture yourself?"

Beca is silent as Jesse continues, "There is this theory that I have, I don't remember now where I heard it, maybe I saw it in a movie or read in a book, or perhaps heard from a professor during a lecture, or maybe I heard it from Benji, I don't know…But it has something to do with moments of impact."

"Moments of impact define who you are for the rest of your life," Jesse continues. "Each one is the sum total of all the people that you've ever met, all the moments that you have ever experienced. It defines who you are, it's like a record, a greatest hits compilation that you can repeat over and over again. It's these moments of impact that are turning points in your life, that open doors for potentials for change."

As Beca only looks at him, Jesse says, "And what you do, Beca, with those moments of impact, can either make or break whatever happens with the rest of your life…"

Beca thinks about this as she looks at Jesse, then at the movie playing on the screen, and what she remembers is Chloe, in her arms, holding Chloe and twirling her around, and dipping her and swaying with her and laughing with her, dancing as Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" starts to play and the lights dim and Chloe grins, leans over, grabs Beca by the hands to pull Beca to her and says, "Oh, my god, Beca, they're playing our song."

Beca grins back as Chloe puts her arms around Beca and starts to slow dance with her. Beca doesn't know what to do at first, but everyone else is either dancing or chatting, or too drunk or tired or all of the above to notice two ladies slow dancing to a Bruno Mars song. Plus other couples were either male-female or same sex ones dancing on the dance floor, so when Beca realizes it is okay, she puts her arms around Chloe and smiles, enjoying the feel of Chloe's body against her own.

As she remembers holding Chloe in her arms, she feels it, realizes it now, what moments of impact. It hits her full force, this realization that dawns on her, this certainty, that she is in love with Chloe Beale. And for some strange reason, as she holds Chloe, everything else comes back to her, the first time she meets Chloe, the smile on her face, what she was wearing, the way her eyes dance with that perpetual mischief and mirth, she remembers the first time she's seen her body naked, remembers how she's looked then, remembers that time Chloe had walked into her shower at Barden, actually realizes how much she's memorized that body, and how little that body has changed since then, except for the scar above her eyebrow and the scar on her arm. She remembers the smile on Chloe's face when she auditioned that first time for the Bellas, remembers the look of happiness on her face hood night, declaring that Beca was going to be her best friend, the practice sessions they had, the few nights before Nationals that they spent when Chloe was helping her choose the set list to mix, practicing and choreographing for the ICCA, Nationals, and that moment, the night before ICCA when she had been teaching Chloe how she did her mixes and they'd shared a look, Chloe holding her gaze with her own blue eyes and they share a moment of awkward silence that quickly stretches into even more awkwardness as Beca feels herself blushing. She thinks back now to the past few months of being with Chloe, and realizes how much she adores how Chloe laughs, how Chloe smiles, how Chloe holds her at night when they sleep, how they make love, how she even loves the boring, domesticity they share, how she likes that Chloe is there when she wakes up, and Chloe is there right before she sleeps, and she's there in between.

She runs her hands up and down Chloe's back now and she remembers Chloe humming silently in appreciation and whispering to her, "I love you."

Beca had pulled back, looking at Chloe wanting to say it back but then the music stops, the lights come back on, Richard Bradley is there, wanting to dance with Chloe as well and she lets Chloe go, but Chloe has these eyes full of sadness. Beca averts her gaze.

* * *

It is then that Beca realizes she loves Chloe and Jesse must have realized that she has finally realized it because Jesse grins, grabs her phone and hands it to her.

"Go on, call her," Jesse says.

Chloe doesn't answer her calls. She calls her a few more times, during the next few days, emails her, messages her, asking her if they could meet.

Still, Chloe doesn't answer.

As Beca turns her mobile phone off, she realizes that maybe it is too late already.

* * *

_**A/N: That's it for this chapter. Apologies for the delay. I have been busy with work, zee partner, and some other stuff. I do hope you enjoyed this chapter though and that it was worth the wait.**_

_**Also, many thanks to the readers who read, enjoyed and reviewed the last chapter, as well as for the greets - they are much appreciated and seriously go a long way in ensuring that this story gets finished.**_

_**Special mention goes to the following for reading and reviewing:**_

_**hopeandpray, Dr. Bones206, Coffee Writer Girl, Duh2042, LazyGurlSwagg, TheGreenEyedRioN and DreamingFantasy**_

_**Many thanks for reading and reviewing! It is much appreciated.**_

_**But most of all to Kutee, you deserve a special mention as you have been reading my fics from the very beginning. Thanks for reading all the chaps in this story, and for always supporting and encouraging this writer. You have no idea how much that helps. :-)**_

_**Again, many thanks to the beta, DragonsWillFly for going over the million and one drafts of this chapter. :)**_

_**There will be a couple more chapters (this is just 10 chapters) and then this story is done. I apologize for not updating on the other stories, but know that I will update them soon. I kind of just concentrate on one story at a time, to ensure quality fic for you guys (plus I still have that bloody brick wall I'm going through), but once this is done, worry not, I will start updating the other stories, too.**_

_**Ramble alert (Skip this part if you want. :) I rarely talk about the writing process for my fic, but I feel like this ramble is in order)!:**_

_**So, I know a lot of you are dying of the anticipation, but as I mentioned at the beginning of this fic, and as with most of my fics, I prefer to write stories that explore characters, motivations, relationships, emotions, the whole gamut of the whole human experience, and so, for those disappointed that this doesn't contain more Rated M, or isn't as straightforward as the other fan fic out there, I do submit that there are more straightforward Bechloe fics that you can read if you are so inclined. And yes, the length, breadth and depth of the writing is heavily influenced by Marcel Proust's "Remembrance of Things Past", James Joyce's "Ulysses" and any of Ernest Hemingway's novels, but especially "For Whom The Bell Tolls", Leo Tolstoy's "War and Peace" and Fyodor Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment" , Victor Hugo's "Les Miserables" and Charles Dickens as well as Virginia Woolf, Dorothy Parker and Sylvia Plath's work. I don't presume to write as well as they do, but I wanted to explore more depth in stories because half of the fun of fan fic writing for me is expanding on these underdeveloped characters.**_

_**For this fic, as such, I took the time to develop the characters and the plot and themes, because I wanted it as realistic as possible, whilst balancing out the humor and drama and angst. I wanted to expand on the other characters, and expand on Beca, Chloe and Jesse's life. Also, I consciously wanted the story to take place a few years after, because as one reader has illustrated, that's where the interesting part begins - when the characters don't get their happy ending. I also wanted them all grown-up and changed and experiencing changes in their lives, because that's always what life is all about - change.**_

_**I wanted Chloe to come back, but changed, and trying to figure out her feelings for Beca as well as her own life.**_

_**I wanted Jesse to realize a few things about his relationship with Beca and trying to move on with his own life. I loved Jesse and the other male characters - because unlike the male characters of Glee, the male characters of Pitch are much more likeable and really geeky. I didn't want anyone to be the villain, I wanted the conflict to be within the three main characters here, not without.**_

_**I wanted Beca to come to terms with her divorce, with her feelings for Chloe, with herself, and being able to spread her own wings.**_

_**The characters and events surrounding Beca are supposed to contrast with Beca's own conflicted, dark, angsty feelings.**_

_**This story is also roughly inspired by John Hughes Films, John Cusack films, pre-movie star Hugh Grant films, Judd Apatow films, Nick Hornby books, and a whole gamut of mainstream romantic films that I liked and wished could be gay, not straight, as well as those Joss Whedon films and Pitch Perfect geeky/nerdy rambles. And also Channing Tatum/Rachel McAdams movies - 'cause I like them both. And also Richard Linklater. Because "Before Sunrise", "Before Sunset" and "Before Midnight". Obviously. And "Waking Life". And maybe "Scanner Darkly".**_

_**For those who have been with me all this time - thanks for trusting me enough with how this story has developed.**_

_**End of ramble. :-)**_

_**Also as always grateful acknowledgement to avclub and io9 dot com for the geeky inspiration as always. **_

_**Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**_


	9. Clarity

**_"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take. _**

**_But by the moments that take our breath away."_**

* * *

Beca's father says all great stories start with love. Iliad. Divine Comedy. Paradise Lost. Romeo and Juliet. Even Jane Austen and the darker Emily Bronte and Mary Shelley had, at the core of their stories, love.

Beca's father says it doesn't matter how the story begins, it's how it ends that matters.

Except life is not a story. It is real life.

Life has a nasty way of not living up to one's expectations, to one's dreams and the sooner one learned that, the sooner one avoided disappointment.

So Beca didn't believe in love. She didn't believe in happy endings.

It has worked thus far, for her.

The walls Beca has built around herself has served to protect her, preserve her, leave her unscathed and unhurt from relationships that had gone sour, that hadn't been working out.

But she finds, as she stares at her laptop, massive headphones on her ears, wishing her mobile would ring, or her inbox would be filled with a message from Chloe, or even just be tagged in a post on Chloe's facebook wall, that it is not working anymore.

She has been staring at her laptop for the longest time, hearing the mix she's made streaming online. Another tab shows some fanmade videos of the mixes. She is in London now, and in a few minutes she will play at a club on West End.

Since she's decided to give her more personal mixes to her agent, her agent has shopped them around and a few people have shown interest and a producer finally picked up and they released her mixes online to minimal fanfare. She hadn't liked it being hyped in case people didn't like her mixes. She'd seen how it went with other musicians and DJs releasing albums, it was sometimes hit and miss. People were notoriously fickle and the musicians they professed to like on the dance floor might not translate to a huge, worldwide hit once a musician decides to release an album. Plus she didn't want to have to make any kind of gimmick or marketing ploy so people would buy her music. She didn't want to have to dress in meat or cupcake costumes and hold concerts or alternately, dress in skimpy clothes, just to sell her music. She knew she was a good musician, and she wanted her music to float or sink on its own terms. But she knew there were better musicians and music out there, and the industry was also notoriously competitive, so she hadn't put much stock in her music being a success. Her agent thus doubled her efforts and secured DJing gigs for Beca. If she is surprised that Beca has suddenly decided to try her hand at more exposure and trying her hand out at tours and making an album, she doesn't show it, although later, when Beca gets some success with her mixes, her agent is delighted, to say the least. She'd been trying to get Beca to do more, but Beca had staunchly refused. It has been pure luck that she even got Beca to sit for an interview for the making of "Soylent Green" and "Green Hornet", both of which were then subsequently released to generate more interest in the movie and television show. Already the soundtrack for "Green Hornet" had been generating buzz and music enthusiasts who were also fans of the original "Soylent Green" had also expressed their appreciation for the soundtrack she had made. Fans and critics alike said her music was fresh, cool, exciting, fun.

The mixes she'd made, separate from the soundtracks she'd made, a dub-step, remixed version of Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" and Erasure's "A Little Respect", both released on iTunes, had debuted quietly. But a fan (a geek really) had made some fanvids of Mass Effect's Liara and Femshep to Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" and another had made a Hermione fanvid set to her mix of Erasure's "A Little Respect" that was equal parts tongue-in-cheek and a critique of how skewered the gender roles in the Harry Potter series was. Both had been posted on people's facebook feeds, twitter feeds, tumblr accounts and other social networking sites. But when, of all people, Richard Bradley Wiener III tweets about her mix, and Jennifer Scott soon follows, putting in the links to the videos, the music and her videos go viral. Downloads of her music go up, which please her agent to no end. Fans clamor for more mixes from her. She thus releases a mix of "Five Hundred Miles (I'm Gonna Be)" by the Replacements, and one by Florence and the Machine, "Never Let Me Go", the former an old mix she had from when she was in college, the latter, a fairly new one, made on one of those nights when she had been depressed. But what proves to be a hit is her mix of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and Queen's "Under Pressure". One of her fans made a fan vid of Michael Jackson set to Lego bricks that go viral as well. Her agent tells her this is also the time to strike while the iron is hot, and in no time, her agent manages to find her gigs in clubs around the country, and in different cities in other countries as well. Soon, radio stations pick her mixes up and start to play them. An even bigger hit is her original song, "The Day After Yesterday (Today)", part House Music part dubstep which everyone seems to like, for the unabashed confession of love in the lyrics, the regret and pain and loss and the hope that the persona's lover would take her back, and for the beat that comes with it. More people even like it because it is also unabashedly a gay anthem and people start to play it during Pride Marches. The organizers of the next Winter Olympics even invite her to play at the Opening Ceremonies to be held in Vancouver.

Beca plays in clubs in California, in New York, in Dublin, London, in Berlin, in Milan, in Sydney, in Vancouver. The work is exhausting to say the least, and she tries to find a way to enjoy it, it's her dream come true afterall, and it helps her take her mind off of everything, but she finds that it isn't what she expected it to be at all.

Her trips keep her away from California for a while. Back home, she starts to enjoy modest airplay on the radio, starts to get reviews from online magazines. The soundtrack she creates for "Soylent Green" and "Green Hornet" gets noticed as well. She starts to get interviews, starts to get offers from producers, invitations to play not just at clubs, but parties with big-time celebrities. She stays in hotels, in different cities, never at one place at a time. Jesse and her agent are ecstatic. Beca can't quite get it in herself to be as enthusiastic. Now that she gets what she wants she finds success is not as sweet, or nearly as satisfying.

And she feels empty.

Sitting alone in her hotel, surrounded by her laptop, Kindle, newspapers, magazines, sheet music, and pens, food and drink, with nothing and no one but her computer in front of her, and her mixing equipment, she feels this inexplicable loneliness, this feeling that she's lived her life erroneously, improperly.

That success that has eluded her for so long, is now here, within her grasp, but she feels hollow, devoid of any feeling, of anything. It feels so anti-climactic somehow. Jesse says she should enjoy it, all of it is fleeting, one day there'll be a new musician people would go crazy about, and she should just make hay while the sun is shining, but even then, she feels like something is…_missing_ somehow.

She closes the tabs, opens her playlist and sits back on the pillows on the bed and looks out at London's skyline of dreaming spires and dark, gloomy skies, lost in her thoughts.

It doesn't help that for some strange reason the music playing on her playlist seems to be expressing exactly what she is feeling.

The first song had been the original version of Florence and the Machine's "Never Let Me Go". The haunting, unearthly, other-wordly voice of the singer, coupled with the lyrics that talk about pressure and the waves rushing to engulf her, come to take her away, to give her peace, about realizing she doesn't have to speak anymore. Even the end of the song forces her stop and think,

_"And it's over,  
And I'm going under,  
But I'm not giving up!  
I'm just giving in.  
Oh, slipping underneath.  
Oh, so cold, but so sweet…"_

The singer's voice sings the song so sadly it makes Beca's breath catch and she tries to stem the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

Maybe this staunch belief she has in the non-existence of happy endings, her lack of faith in love, in people, her inability to trust people, to give herself completely to love, is not working anymore. Maybe it was time to try something new.

Before she has time to think, David Guetta's song "Love is Gone" starts to play and she finds herself listening to the lyrics that play over and over and over again.

_"What are we supposed to do  
After all that we've been through…  
When everything that felt so right is wrong  
Now that the love is gone…_

_Can't find the reason to keep moving on  
Now that the love is gone…"_

She sighs. What _is_ she supposed to do? Everything _had_ felt so right with Chloe. Chloe. There is a vague pain in her chest now. The man's voice sings it over and over now, _"Love is gone…love is gone…love is gone…"_

She pauses her computer, takes another deep breath before she pushes herself up and out of the bed, grabs her laptop and other assorted accouterments and lock them up for safekeeping, grabs her keys, her iPod and goes for a jog around the streets of London.

* * *

Beca concentrates on her breathing as she starts to jog around the block. It's a good day for a jog, the afternoon London sun, notorious for being always hidden behind clouds, bright and shining today. She tries to adjust her breathing, concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other, takes note of how quiet the neighborhood is, sees rows and rows of houses, and immaculately trimmed lawns, bushes and trees pass her by. Thankfully, the music streaming in her ears are the ones by Moby, Prodigy, Chemical Brothers and Fatboy Slim that contain the most minimal of lyrics and the most infectious of beats. It does little for her melancholic mood. Moby's "In My Heart" is currently playing and it's making her feel a bit more upbeat. They don't make it like that anymore, she thinks.

At the end of the street, she stops, wipes the sweat forming on her brow, takes a few gulps of air, pushes wisps of stray hair away from her hair, before she resumes jogging again, turning to her left to the next block of houses.

If she were to be honest, she'd probably actually loved at least three people in her life. So maybe that meant she had actually fallen in love three times. And had her heart broken three times.

The first person was in high school.

She'd liked a few people in high school and had gone on dates with them, more to distract herself from the divorce and the living hell that was her house when she'd moved in with her mother and her mother had refused to leave the house after the divorce.

But Beca's life changes with _her_.

Beca has not thought about her in a long time. But she suddenly remembers her again during those long sleepless nights when she tries to figure out where she went wrong with her relationships.

She was your ridiculously stereotypical tall, blonde, blue-eyed teenage girl all the guys in high school wanted to ask out for the weekend, and wanted to ask out for the prom. She'd moved from back east, and had been effortlessly popular with everyone, girls and boys alike. Despite the fact that she had only been only a few months at school, she'd made friends, she'd made the cheerleading squad, the Glee Club, the drama club and a host of other clubs in school. She becomes very popular. Beca is this sullen, surly, angry teenager who wore just too much make-up and wore black blouses and flannel and tight jeans and walked around with a massive headphone on her ears, listening to David Guetta. Like everything else about school that wasn't about music, Beca ignores her. Except for her classes, which she tolerates and which she is required to go to on pain of being expelled or being kicked out of the house, she ignores everyone at school and actually only has acquaintances and classmates, not friends. After the divorce, she and her mother had moved around a bit, and so she has learned not to form long-lasting, meaningful relationships when she knows they will move anyway. Once her mother starts dating, she develops an even surlier attitude, ignoring her mother's boyfriends and, if they spend the night at home, just call them "Joe" or "dude". When Dr. Mitchell starts dating the woman he eventually marries, she secretly calls stepmonster, despite the fact that the woman insists that she call her Julie instead.

The one thing that all schools in all the towns that they have moved to though is the fact each one has a music program and an AV Club. She spends her time hanging out with the geeks of music club and spends her time on the school bleachers or the gym listening to music. There are a couple of students who dig David Guetta as much as she does, so they spend time together hanging out, talking music and sharing mixes.

Annie. That was her name. Annie had joined the music program and the AV Club and the geeks of the club had stared open-mouthed at her when she enters the room for the first time.

Annie wasn't much trouble. She was quiet and attentive and listens when the other kids talk about music. One day, during one of Beca's lunch times at the bleachers, Annie sits beside her, not saying anything. It surprises Beca so much she just stares at Annie as Annie hands her a sandwich. There is something in Annie's eyes, an inviting warmth that makes Beca accept the sandwich she is offering. They sit in silence for a while before Annie turns to Beca and asks, "Why do you listen to music so much?"

The question takes Beca aback that it leaves her speechless. When Annie doesn't say anything and waits for her answer, Beca takes a deep breath, shrugs and says, "I dunno. It makes sense, I guess. It makes me feel good. And stuff."

Annie is silent again, before she speaks up and says, "So, there's this party over at Kenny's…and…" here Beca turns and she can see Annie looking down at the track team and the football team practicing on the grounds and Annie doesn't look at her as she says, "I was wondering if you could come…?"

Beca doesn't know what to say to that, but when she recovers from the surprise - students at all the schools she's studied in has given up inviting her to parties and other get-togethers - she finds herself accepting the invitation.

A few days later, she is at a party full of underage kids and college kids sneaking in alcohol and getting drunk on beer and vodka and whiskey and tequila, the place covered up in cigarette smoke and weed, laughter and throbbing music, and Beca finds herself in the middle of it, Annie's arms around her, her face buried in Beca's neck, Beca's heart throbbing so wildly against her rib cage, she is sure Annie could hear it.

In a few minutes, the police come to put a stop to their underage fun. But just before they do, Annie hears the police sirens, grabs Beca's wrist and drags her into the back, through the kitchen and out the backyard, up the fence and right into the neighbors' swimming pool. Dripping wet, they make their way through the yard, a dog barking and chasing them, the chain pulling it back and making the dog yip in frustration and pain. They make their way through the streets, dark but for the occasional street light and the lights coming from houses. They don't know how long they run, and how far, but then Annie stops by a house, on the lawn, and in between deep breaths she says, this is her house and Beca stares at her, equally flushed and sweaty and tired and tipsy from all the running, and she ends up laughing. Annie stares at her, puzzled, before understanding dawns on her and she starts to laugh as well. Annie takes a few steps forward, gently takes Beca's hands and looks deep into Beca's eyes. Beca swallows, not knowing what to say. Annie only smiles a reassuring smile as her head moves ever more slowly towards Beca's face. There is a split second pause in which Annie seems to hesitate before she plants a kiss on Beca's lips. Beca's heart is pounding so loudly against her chest she doesn't even hear the sprinkler or feel the water start to soak her shirt. When Annie pulls back, there is a big smile on her face that seems to match the shy, awkward one that Beca has on her face.

They don't speak about it but they start hanging out with each other after, spend time in between classes, or during their breaks.

Everything would have been fine, but then Annie's parents start complaining about Annie staying out too late, or her grades taking a dip after. Beca and Annie start to argue, and before the school year ends, Annie has broken up with her and has moved away, and Beca's beliefs about happy endings is solidified.

* * *

She hadn't thought of Ann in ages.

The only reason she'd remembered Ann was because of this therapist Jesse had made her go to. It had been his own way of helping her.

Jesse.

Good ol' dependable Jesse.

To be honest, Jesse'd been the second person she'd loved. Whether it had been actually romantic and had just slowly turned into something more properly platonic, or whether it hadn't been as romantic as she'd always thought it was, she wasn't sure.

She is sure though that she is slowly realizing what Jesse had pointed out when he'd said he wanted a divorce and he'd explained that there hadn't been any spark since they got married. Or even before.

She slows down to a trot, feeling her chest constrict with the physical exertion. She takes a lot of deep breaths, feels her heart racing beneath her chest, feels everything in her buzz with electricity, with energy and she slows down to a walk.

She thinks about Jesse now.

Jesse, who had always been there for her, had insisted on making her go to his shrink, Dr. Jackson, just to help her with what she is feeling and with the insomnia, migraines and gastric pain she seems to have developed.

She had balked at the idea of seeing his shrink. Beca had always been wary of therapy - and had so far evaded it since her parents' divorce, that trouble with Annie, her own divorce with Jesse. But she does go a few of times. She'd decided to go because what did one do when one had nothing more to lose?

It had been Jesse who had pointed it out when he had found Beca in a state of pain and depression, unshowered, unkempt, faced unwashed, sleep-deprived, exhausted, wearing the same sweatsuit she'd been wearing the past seven days, whilst the house looked like a dump with its empty pizza boxes, empty cartons of Chinese take-out, empty boxes of Corn Flakes, coke cans and beer, that day Beca realizes Chloe may no longer be interested in her. This, coupled by the stress and pressure of making back-to-back soundtracks for Jesse's movie, "Soylent Green" and TV show, "Green Hornet", work, her recent divorce, had been giving her sleepless nights that has developed into insomnia, migraines and gastric pain, and drove her to the brink of depression and a nervous breakdown.

Jesse had been worried and anxious about her when she hadn't returned any of his phone calls, emails or texts. She had retreated into her own world, profoundly depressed, refusing to see anybody, friends and family alike, save for Jesse.

He had taken one look at her then, smiled and said, "Dude, I think you need to get some help."

Beca had tried to give him her bravest smile then, but a well of tears start forming in her eyes instead. And as Jesse wordlessly steps forward, pulls her towards himself and engulfs her in a tight embrace, Beca pauses for a moment then, not knowing what to do or say or feel, before she feels it then, a warmth, a wetness on her cheeks and without realizing it, she feels herself crying, crying big, fat, wet teardrops. The tears come and they flow and flow and flow - tears of sadness and pain and loss and a host of other emotions she hadn't thought she'd been feeling.

And as Jesse stands there, silent, just holding her, Beca realizes why she had loved Jesse. Jesse, with his boyband looks and his charming boyband grin and his endless penchant for movies and movie themes and happy endings and his optimistic view of life, had always been there for her.

* * *

The thing about going to those stupid therapy sessions though, is the fact that it forces Beca to stop and evaluate her life thus far, something that Beca hates doing. But she goes to the therapist a few times before she starts to play in clubs more frequently, before she starts to travel outside the country, before her mixes become hits. Her meetings now with the therapist are sporadic, and not as regular, they sometimes have phone calls or Skype sessions, but she grudgingly admits it has helped her a bit.

Beca makes a face now as she remembers those few sessions with Dr. Jackson, an olive-skinned, middle-aged, soft-spoken woman with reserves of patience for Beca's brand of sullen, stubborn silence, prove unfruitful for Beca.

She hadn't known how annoying it was going to be - a complete stranger, albeit a nice, kind one, asking her what her childhood was like, how her relationships were, and so on. She finds Dr. Jackson's probing about her past intrusive, to say the least, and she ends up talking about music instead, about chord progressions and pitch reverbs and equalizers and mixes and about finding the right beat that would match with other beats.

Whenever Dr. Jackson tried to ask her anything ("So tell me about your childhood", "Tell me about your dad", "Tell me about your mom"…) she would deftly talk about "Soylent Green", "Green Hornet", soundtracks, music, anything but her family, herself.

One particular day, when Jesse had texted her in the middle of her session with Dr. Jackson and she'd excused herself to take the call, and a few minutes later, comes back to the session and launches into a few stories about her and Jesse that makes Dr. Jackson say, "Yes, but tell me about yourself."

Beca had said, "But I've just _told_ you about myself. I could write chapters of how much I've told you about myself..."

Dr. Jackson only nods impatiently and says, "Yes, but you haven't actually told me about yourself. You just told me stuff about your work, your music…you don't connect yourself with a personal relationship. You find your father mostly annoying, something you're inconvenienced by, your stepmother a vile, hateful little woman, your mother a victim, and even Jesse, your ex-husband, this troublesome nuisance you _tolerate_, the man you drove to drink himself to exhaustion because you seem to have this inability to connect, or failing that, you seem to have this inability to maintain relationships…It's nothing to be alarmed about, that's what we are here to find out and deal with…"

This comment takes Beca so much by surprise her first response was a nasty, snarky response that she is able to bite back before it comes out of her mouth and she regrets it.

When Beca stays silent, Dr. Jackson says, "But enough of that, let's see to your immediate problems shall we? Insomnia, migraines, gastric pain…"

* * *

Except for that seemingly innocuous comment, for the most part, Dr. Jackson hadn't been pushy with Beca. She'd never offered any other insight, and just let Beca talk.

One day, when Beca tells Jesse Dr. Jackson's insights about Beca and what's wrong with her and about how unpleasant and invasive Dr. Jackson's questions are, and how she keeps asking Beca to talk about herself, and her childhood, and her parents, and about Jesse and her marriage and subsequent divorce to Jesse, Jesse just listens, not saying anything.

Beca says, "So I told her, 'But I've just _told_ you about myself. I could write chapters of how much I've told you about myself' and..."

Jesse interrupts her then and quietly says, "Maybe she's right…"

"What?" Beca asks him now.

"I mean…" Jesse carefully says now. "I think she might be on to something."

Beca stares at him, incredulous. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" When Jesse doesn't say anything, Beca says, "I fucking have an inability to fucking connect with people? To fucking_ maintain_ relationships? Is your therapist fucking kidding me?"

Jesse is silent, and only shrugs his shoulders. "I'm just saying Beca…It takes two for a relationship to work. It takes two for a relationship to fail. I know I've had my shortcomings. But that doesn't mean you get off scot-free, too. I mean, come on, it couldn't have just been Chloe's fault, right?"

Beca rolls her eyes.

"What-fucking-ever Jesse," Beca says now. "I connect to people fucking fine." When he doesn't say anything, she says, "So, when and where's the premiere of 'Soylent Green' and do I get to go to this thing?"

Jesse is silent again, doesn't answer her. When she realizes no answer is forthcoming, she looks up and sees Jesse staring at her. When she looks at him, he looks away. Then he clears his throat and says, "Umm, in a couple of months? I'm kind of nervous but the studio's backing me, so…"

"Yeah, and we're going right?"

Jesse clears his throat again. "Um, actually I'm going with somebody else. Some studio exec type. It's a work thing."

Beca knows right after Jesse says that it is a blatant lie. She doesn't say anything though about it. But a few weeks later, the tabloids, entertainment blogs and television gossip shows, who'd been watching the trajectory of his career and have been featuring him since the remake of "Soylent Green" and "Green Hornet" had been announced, break the news that he is currently dating an unknown, tall, blonde, pretty woman, Beca suddenly knows.

The woman is Aubrey Posen.

She doesn't quite know how to feel about that. Aubrey Posen had never liked her, when they were in college and even now. She has this suspicious look when she looks at Beca that she doesn't quite like. She suspects it is because Beca had started dating Chloe. Or used to date Chloe. Or something.

She knows, without question, that Jesse will always be her best friend, but that it had been over between them for a long time now.

Jesse was yet another reminder that happy endings never happened.

* * *

It is this and more, that pushes Beca to want to play at gigs outside California, to make and release mixes.

Beca reaches the end of the block and spies a slope at the edge of the street that leads to a park that goes up a hill. The place is empty and inviting. She has to admit that despite the seemingly indecipherable accent, the cold weather, the grim people, all things being on the wrong side, London, and especially this place, Prim Hill something, had its own charm.

Beca thinks she could use the solitude and the fresh air. She crosses the street and starts to jog up the slope.

The park is lined with trees, the small, paved path leading up to a clear, grassy area with nothing there. The place reminds her of that time she'd visited Jesse when he had been in rehab. The place reminds her of that time she and Chloe had gone to the Hollywood sign. The place reminds her of all those possibilities she hadn't taken, all those opportunities she had refused to take, all that she could have taken, hers to enjoy and freely take, happiness and peace and joy and love.

She gets lost in her own thoughts, the volume of the music in her iPod at a comfortable level that she can ignore.

But then in the haze of her thoughts, the first strains of a familiar song start to play. She stops to listen, adjusts the volume so she can better listen to the song.

_"Oh, her eyes, her eyes  
Make the stars look like they're not shinin'  
Her hair, her hair  
Falls perfectly without her trying  
She's so beautiful  
And I tell her everyday…" _

Love.

Thoughts of her come to her unbidden.

Chloe.

Chloe Beale.

Chloe, whom she realizes without a doubt, how much she loves.

Chloe, whom she realizes she had foolishly let go, because she had been too stubborn, too afraid, too stupid to realize she was in love with.

Chloe, whom she had repeatedly tried to call, text and email, failing to get a reply of any sort. Chloe, whom she'd prepared a speech for, a speech she'd prepared and rehearsed countless times with Jesse's help ready to be regurgitated in the event that Chloe answers the phone.

But Chloe never answers.

Then, she tries, one more time, to call Chloe and what she gets is a man's voice, rich, low, young and booming, and now irritated at Beca's call. The man keeps saying "hello" repeatedly, and when Beca, too surprised to say anything, does not answer, the man lowers his voice and says, "Listen, are you that person who keeps calling? 'Cause she doesn't want to talk to you. So back off and stop calling" and then there's a click and a dial tone and Beca is left surprised and speechless, clutching her cellphone in her hand.

It is this particular phone call that makes Beca realize, with a sinking feeling, that Chloe was never going to answer emails, her messages, her phone calls. As she realizes this, a number of other emotions go through her, anger, frustration, disappointment, shame, embarrassment, all directed towards herself, for letting herself fall for Chloe, for letting down her guard, for letting herself get so vulnerable.

There were no happy endings. Life has a nasty way of not living up to one's expectations. Beca remembers what she has learned all those years ago and she finds herself hating herself for letting herself get too close to someone again.

* * *

She remembers Chloe now and there is a deep, unfathomable pain, as of a knife stabbing itself in her chest, that makes her want to cry.

She remembers Chloe and feels stupid all over again.

What was wrong with her?

Why couldn't she keep any successful relationship?

She stands there, in the park, all alone, and then she remembers that, well, her aversion for love, happy endings, fairy tales, are directly correlated with her relationship with her father.

Dr. Mitchell believed in happy endings, and long after his marriage to Beca's mother has soured and all they ever did when Beca was a teenager was argue well into the night, he still believed he would find his happy ending. He has always been a glass-is-half-full kind of guy and so he has never lost hope that he would find his happy ending someday.

Her father gets divorced. It tears the whole family apart. It is responsible for Beca's rage and bitterness and cynicism in high school, is responsible for her inability to believe love and happy endings could ever happen. Afterall, though her parents had loved each other, they'd fallen out of love and it had devastated them both. But apparently her father had recovered sufficiently to be able to marry the stepmonster.

Once, her mother told her, "You can't always get what you want, Beca, you just…take what you can get and learn to be happy with what you have," and Beca knows, the moment her mother says it, that it is true.

* * *

She absently fiddles with her iPod as she thinks about things some more. Zedd's "Clarity" starts to play and she looks out of the field as she lets the music wash over her.

She thinks about it more - what Jesse has said, what Dr. Jackson has said. She thinks maybe they're right.

Maybe she had been going about it the wrong way though.

Maybe it takes two to make a relationship succeed.

Maybe she was as responsible for the success or failure of her relationships.

Beca's father says all great stories start with love. Iliad. Divine Comedy. Paradise Lost. Romeo and Juliet. Even Jane Austen and the darker Emily Bronte and Mary Shelley had, at the core of their stories, love.

Beca's father says it doesn't matter how the story begins, it's how it ends that matters.

A slow realization dawns on Beca.

What she realizes is how much she loves Chloe.

What she realizes is how perfect Chloe is, how amazing she is, how she wouldn't want to change anything about her. She remembers those scars, the ones over her brow, the ones on her arm, and what she would give to run her finger on them again. What she would give to run her fingers on Chloe's face, on her lips, on her body. What she would give to touch her lips again, to kiss her, to shower her body with kisses, to make love to her again, to hear her catch her breath in pleasure when Beca touches her, to hear her whisper her name as she reaches the edge, tumbles into it, clinging to Beca as if she were her anchor, the tether that held her to the earth, whispering "I love you" to Beca like her life depended on it.

_"'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need  
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why…"_

Beca realizes it. They fit - Chloe and her. They make _sense_. She is the missing piece of her puzzle. The one who completes her. The one who makes her _not_ want to be afraid anymore. The one who makes her want to believe happy endings are possible after all.

_"If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?..."_

The clarity hits her, powerful, strong, clear as daylight. She is surprised she hasn't noticed it before.

And as it does, she resolves to do something about it all.

She nods her head, in resolute determination, turns around, and jogs back to her hotel.

* * *

As soon as Beca gets back to her hotel, the inspiration hits her and she sets to work doing it.

As Beca's mind buzzes with plans, she realizes maybe she can't write a great story. Maybe she can't get Chloe back. Maybe it's too late. But maybe she owes it to Chloe, to herself, to tell Chloe how much she really loved her.

Where to start? She thinks to herself.

Her father has always told her, start from the beginning. And when you reach the end, you end it. Start with what you know. Start with what you have.

* * *

So Beca starts with what she knows.

She is not very good with words, but she has a father who is a literature professor - so as soon as she has time, as soon as she gets back to her apartment, back in California, she pours over all the books she has.

Poems.

That's what she has.

She goes through each one, opens them to passages she likes, and starts to type them up, one by one, and emails them one by one, to Chloe Beale.

Dante. Christopher Marlow. Shakespeare's sonnets. Percy Byshe Shelley. Emily Dickinson. Elizabeth Barret Browning. William Butler Yeats. John Donne. William Wordsworth. Sir Walter Raleigh. Walt Whitman. W.H. Auden. T.S. Eliot. Rainer Maria Rilke. Christina Rosetti. Byron. Thomas Moore. Arthur Rimbaud. Pablo Neruda. Kahlil Gibran. e.e. cummings. Adrienne Rich. Maya Angelou.

She works tirelessly day and night, typing them up and emailing them.

She feels ridiculous typing them up - know she could just as well just go online and copy and paste them, but she feels that part of the penance is in the typing, in going over specific poems that showed how she felt, the regret she was feeling, the sadness, the pain, the hurt, the feeling of missing Chloe, Chloe's love and affection. And she types and types until her eyes go blurry and her fingers can no longer type and her body is too tired to sit up or stand and she has to crawl to bed, eyes smarting from having been in front of the computer all night long. When she has to do a gig, she never forgets to grab a book. And when she doesn't have time, she goes online, highlights a particular poem or a verse, and sends it to Chloe.

And when she's done, and realizes she's run out of poems to type, she turns to music, which she knows can express herself more than anything else can. Songs after all are poems set to music. The best songs convey the strongest emotions, the most powerful lyrics, with the best beats, beats that match the rhythm of heart and mind.

She doesn't know how or even where to start.

But she follows what her father says.

She starts with what she knows.

She starts with what she is familiar with.

David Guetta. Bruno Mars. Their songs. Hers and Chloe's. She mixes them up a bit. Then she turns to her playlist. "Sweet Nothing" by Calvin Harris, "Clarity" by Zed, Lindsey Stirling's "Stars Align", and a few other songs, adds beats, combines the voices, harmonizes them, unites them with a common beat, pours her feelings into it and when she's done, she sends them to Chloe. But mostly she centers on Calvin Harris' song, "I Need Your Love", because the song conveys so much to her in so little, the lyrics simple and to the point: _"I need your love, I need your time, When everything's wrong, You make it right…"_ She feels the song communicates exactly what she cannot say in person, the beat an interesting combination of upbeat and urgent, uplifting and unforgettable.

Chloe doesn't email her though, or show any indication whatsoever that she's received her emails.

She creates a few more mixes, releases them online, even as she plays gigs and travels around the world to play in clubs, hoping the radio airplay, the online music, would get Chloe's attention, to make her listen to her mixes, to realize how deep Beca's love is for her.

But she never hears from Chloe.

Until she receives a wedding invitation for Lilly and Donald's wedding. She had been away, touring and mixing and playing clubs for a while, and hadn't seen anyone in that time. She thinks she is ready to see people, _friends_, again, and so she resolves to attend their wedding. She promises to play for them at the reception. She confirms her attendance and thinks nothing of it.

* * *

But then on the day of the wedding itself, right in the middle of the wedding procession, as she moves down the aisle right before the bride does, she spots her. A flash of red hair, blue green eyes, a pretty smile.

It is Chloe Beale.

As she takes her place beside Fat Amy and the others, who have served as Lilly's bridesmaids, she manages to whisper, "You said she wouldn't be here."

Fat Amy whispers back, "Yeah, but she hadn't confirmed or told us anything. We weren't sure she was coming. Sorry."

* * *

She doesn't have a chance to speak to Chloe during the wedding itself and she is too busy during the wedding reception to actually get a chance to talk to her. But she can see her, just beyond her vision, beautiful, a vision in her black dress of satin, talking to the newlyweds and the other guests, a drink in hand, laughing at some anecdote or joke they said. Inexplicably, they find themselves in Hawaii again - scene of the last time she and Chloe had seen each other. It had been more than a year since she had last seen Chloe. She had fantasized for so long how she would talk to Chloe once she sees her, but seeing her now, here, more beautiful than ever, standing away from her, with no care in the world, across the dance floor, amidst a sea of bodies writhing and dancing to a sea of blinking lights, Beca seems at a loss for words. So she turns to her mixes instead, plays Zedd's "Clarity" with Calvin Harris' "Sweet Nothing" and the crowd makes a collective roar of approval as they throw their hands in the air and start to jump up and down in appreciation. The hall shudders with hundreds of feet stomping on the floor in time to the beat. She watches for Chloe's reaction, but she gets nothing, seeing only an outline of Chloe's side in the half-darkness of the hall. As she fiddles with the dials, she cues in the next song, Calvin Harris' "I Need Your Love" and motions for Benji to come take over for her. She'd plugged in her iPod and cued in a few of the other mixes she's prepared, working feverishly during the wedding so she could have some time to talk to Chloe. Benji nods and bounds up to take over from her. As the first strains of the song start to play, Ellie Goulding's excellent vocals singing about needing love, she jumps down to the dance floor and makes her way past the dance floor, pushing her way to make a path for herself amongst the sweaty, dancing bodies. The place is buzzing with energy, excitement, euphoria. On her way, she has people expressing appreciation for her mix with a thumbs' up sign and a grin. She acknowledges them with a shy smile or a wave, and before she knows it, the crowd has pushed her forward and she pitches out of the crowd and towards the edge of it, to where Chloe is standing talking to Fat Amy and Lilly, both of whom seem to magically disappear as she regains her balance and straightens herself, standing up to gaze into the steady blue gaze of Chloe Beale.

For a heartbeat, Chloe just stares at her, at first surprised, but then a look of perfect coolness, detachment settles on her as she regards Beca coolly. Before she knows it, Chloe has stepped out of the hallway and into the swimming pool area, and without thinking Beca steps outside with her and the blast of cool air greets her. The infinity pool is clear and clean and sparkling, dark against the night sky filled with faint stars long dead and gone, whilst beyond the pool, the deserted beach beckons, the waves crashing against the sand, breeze gently making the palm trees wave against the wind. It is with slow realization that she remembers this is where the last wedding was held.

"Chloe…" she starts now. "Please don't leave…"

Chloe stops, turns around and Beca feels a slow blush crawling up her neck as she looks down at the ground, studies the pavement and the patterns on it as she continues, barely enunciating the words. "Chloe…I'm sorry. I was a jerk. I know I treated you badly and I've hurt you and nothing I will ever say will make you feel any better, but I just wanted you to know how truly sorry I am."

When Chloe doesn't say anything, she knows she's lost the battle, but she continues anyway, feeling the humiliation and embarrassment wash over her. This was exactly the reason she didn't want to do any of this, but she says, "You are the most adorable woman I have ever known. And I love you. And I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it, or even to say it, but I guess I've always known. I know I should have told you this right from the get-go, but I was afraid. I was scared. And I…"

Beca sighs now. Behind her, she can hear her mix of David Guetta's "Titanium" and Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" playing, the beats mingling to create a new sound, a new experience of musical fusion. She feels like an idiot having that play in the background while she is baring her soul to the woman she loves.

"My second grade teacher…" she blurts out now as if her life depended on it.

"I'm sorry?" Chloe manages to speak.

Beca wants to kick herself for sounding like an idiot, but Chloe is speaking so that's a good start, so she continues. "She was the first person who probably knew I was gay before I did. You asked me before about it. She smelled good all the time. This guy during my first dance in school who saw me dance with another girl and called me a 'gaywad'. My father's student with the thumb ring and the nose ring and the ripped jeans and ripped muscles and worked as a carpenter and always seemed to have tank tops all the time and when she'd see me she'd say my name real slow. This classmate of mine in high school who would flick her hair and brush her hair and stuff. My lab partner's mother, because I work flannel like nobody's business. This guy friend of mine from high school who bought a rainbow flag when he came out and asked me to come to pride with him but I wouldn't…" At this point she knows she is rambling and speaking like the female version of Dustin Hoffman's "RainMan" but she didn't care, she plodded on, willing it to be over but wanting Chloe to understand but not knowing what to say and ending up saying all these ridiculous things instead. But Chloe just stares at her, not saying anything, not moving and Beca starts to panic, her heart beating even more wildly against her chest. She says, "My first girlfriend…." Chloe tilts her head and waits for her to elaborate. Beca swallows. "She told me I was beautiful, which no other girl had ever had. She joined our club to be near me. And who kissed me with this lame excuse that I should know what it was like so I can figure out whether I was gay or not. And we went to see "Blue is the Warmest Color" twice in a row even though I hated subtitles and movies and when we left the theater it started to rain and we stood under her umbrella and just stared at each other for thirty minutes and nothing happened and I couldn't tell her I liked her or loved her until it was too late…" She sighs. "The time I first saw you and thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. And as you stood there trying to convince me to sign up for the Bellas, and I was being an asshole and being sarcastic and stuff, you just stood there, smiling and patiently explaining things to me while Aubrey called me a bitch and I guess it was your eyes…it was so full of life and so beautiful and all I could think of was wow, I could drown in those eyes…but I was an idiot and I didn't want to seem like a dork but you asked me to audition for you in the shower, right after singing 'Titanium' and how could I say no to a naked girl asking me to audition for them? In fact, the only reason I'd stayed was because you were there, always defending me in front of Aubrey and the others. You always believed in me, even when nobody else did. And you never judged me. You always saw that potential in me, always trusted that I would come through and I hadn't seen that. Or I hadn't wanted to see that…"

She doesn't look up when she says any of this, feeling her face burning like hot coals but when the silence stretches on, she chances a look and Chloe is still listening, not leaving, not saying anything, but also not showing any indication that she forgives Chloe or wants her back or even loves her like she did before. She looks at Beca with cool detachment, betraying no emotion on her face. That blank stare on her face hurts Beca more than any of her words had.

"And you didn't know it then but you giving me a chance to mix for the Bellas helped me and made me do my own mixes and I can hear my mixes playing in clubs and on the radio and on the internet and I'm doing gigs everywhere and it's all I've ever dreamed of, all I've ever wanted but I realized one day, while I was in London, that I felt strangely empty, unhappy. And I was lying there, on the hotel bed, realizing I've got everything I've ever dreamed of that it's not what I want anymore. How foolish I was to think that that was going to make me happy. I just…all that success, and no one to share it with…and all I could think of was sharing it with you. And I thought…when I get out of London I was going to try to get you back. I know that was a long shot, and I don't know what's been stopping me admitting I love you…and Jesse and I - we were in love with the people we were ten years ago. The difference there was…it's different with you. Who you were before, who you are now, I adore both of them. I love both of them…I mean…you're perfect, Chloe. You've always been perfect. Just so."

Beca takes a deep breath, feels the rhythm and the beats and her own nervous heart beating against her chest and a headache has slowly started to pound against her head but she says, carefully, "I know I'm selfish and self-absorbed and I've never tried to go the extra mile and for a time I used to think it wasn't my fault, I used to blame everyone else, and I guess it's because I'm just stuck on being afraid of things but I've been going to this therapist who's kind of annoying and stuff, even though I think therapy is just bullshit and pointless, but I'd never forgive myself I didn't give this a shot at least. My friend told me about moments of impact? And how this defines you for the rest of your life and how each one of us is the sum total of all the people we've ever met and moments we've ever experienced and how it's who we are, it's our greatest hits and we succeed and fail based on the moments, chances, opportunities we take or never take. And I realized life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." She looks into Chloe's eyes now and says, "And being with you, Chloe, those are the moments that take my breath away and each time I look at you, all I ever want to do is…be with you…like, all the time. And I know it must be too late, and I should have fought for you and…I'm rambling and I should go…"

As she slowly turns around and starts to walk back to the hall, she hears Chloe speak.

"That's it?"

She turns around again, looks at Chloe, confused. Chloe seems to have moved closer, eyes bright and shining.

"Sorry, what?"

Chloe repeats what she just said. "So you tell me, in every possible way you can, that you love me and that's it? You're leaving?"

Beca looks at her, confused. "Um..."

Chloe moves towards her, ever so slowly. "All my life, I'd heard I'd meet someone somewhere and no matter how well I knew them or how much or how little I spent time with them, that person would just be it for me..."

Beca stops, hesitates, feeling weak, her heart inexplicably beating even louder, eyes unable to look at Chloe, afraid to look. Chloe continues, "And that time I saw you at Barden I thought you looked really cute but I already knew you looked too 'alternative', like Aubrey said and there was no way you would join the Bellas because well, acapella is lame, as you said…"

"I still think it's lame…" Beca mutters now. "I think it kills more Americans every year than all other diseases combined..."

A ghost of a smile tugs at Chloe's lips. "Shut up. I get to speak now."

"Sorry," Beca mutters.

"But I wanted to get to know you, you seemed really interesting and you have no idea how hard I tried to convince you to join and I thought I was never going to see you again but I heard you sing in the shower and I knew you just had to join us," Chloe continues. She looks at Beca unblinkingly, steadily, before Beca tries to avert her gaze. "I wasn't kidding hood night when I said I was so glad you were a Bella and I had a hunch we were going to be best friends…"

It's Chloe's turn to sigh now. "But you had Jessie. And Jessie was just always around and I wasn't going to wait around forever for you. I thought you'd realized after what you wanted, but you chose Jessie. You always chose Jesse. Even when we were rooming together it was always Jesse. I just didn't want to wait for you anymore. I thought seeing you again…maybe it would be different but…it was still the same…"

"I'm sorry," Beca says again.

"And I'd loved you for so long. But I just couldn't wait anymore," Chloe says.

"I'm sorry," Beca repeats it, before she says, "I should go," and makes to turn around.

"But…" Chloe abruptly says.

Beca stops.

"You kind of overloaded my voicemail with your messages," Chloe says now, in a tone that Beca isn't sure is annoyance or affection or a little of both. "And you kept sending these _poems_ and these _mixes_..."

"I'm sorry," Beca says again, feeling even more embarrassed. "I know you said I shouldn't call or email you or whatever…I just...There was so much I wanted to say to you...but sometimes words are not enough...words kind of...get in the way...I just..."

"And when that wasn't enough, I start hearing your mixes on the radio, in clubs, _everywhere_," Chloe says now, cutting Beca off. "I particularly enjoyed that original dubstep mix you made entitled 'The Day After Yesterday (Today)'…"

Beca looks down now, feeling even more embarrassed. "I'm sorry. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It was three a.m. and I couldn't sleep and I had this beat playing in my head and decided to make it and…"

Chloe takes a few more steps towards Beca until she's so close Beca can smell ocean spray and gardens.

"I'm really sorry…" Beca mutters now, daring to look up.

When she does, Beca is surprised to see Chloe smiling. "You never called or emailed me."

"Uh, I _did_," Beca says now.

"Yeah, poems and mixes do not count as you emailing me or calling me," Chloe says now.

"Well, you told me never to email you or call you or message you or whatever, and when someone tells me that, I tend to listen to them and do what they say," Beca says, "But my friend told me I should do something big, without necessarily breaking the rules and…"

Chloe doesn't let her finish. Instead, Chloe leans over and tenderly kisses, making Beca's heart plunge deep into her gut. Chloe pulls back slightly to whisper, "The truth is, Beca, I am truly, madly and deeply in love with you. And I have been since the first time I saw you. I think I've always known...that you are that person for me..."

A slow smile spreads on Beca's face as she leans over to kiss Chloe. Chloe gladly reciprocates the kiss before she pulls back again.

"That friend of yours who told you to do something big, is that Jesse?" Chloe asks now. When Beca starts to explain, Chloe says, "Because he wouldn't stop talking about giving you another chance and you looking so depressed and…regretful and stuff and…." When Beca looks at her, confused, Chloe rolls her eyes and says, "Jesse's dating Aubrey, I can't actually _avoid_ him, he wouldn't shut up about how much you love me…"

"I…" Beca says now, making to protest, before she sighs in resignation, and says, "I do…I honestly do…"

Chloe smiles gently at her now. "Say it again," she whispers.

"What? I honestly…do?" Beca says.

Chloe frowns at her, so Beca says, "I love you."

Before Beca can say anything else, Chloe moves forward and kisses her. When she pulls back, she smiles and whispers, "That's all I needed to know, Beca…that's all I ever needed to know…Although that whole speech was beautiful, too…"

When Beca smiles, Chloe leans forward again to kiss her. Beca is surprised at first, then relieved as she puts her arms around Chloe, rubbing her back slowly, Chloe's fragrance filling her senses, overwhelming her. She hadn't, not in a million years, imagined she would get Chloe back, and now that she has her, in her arms again, she feels it, the first tendrils of happiness, peace, engulfing her, and she smiles into the kiss as she holds Chloe tightly, afraid this is only a dream, only her imagination.

But Chloe's lips are on her, tongue sliding between her lips, and her hands are on Beca's back, tracing patterns, and she knows this isn't a dream at all. Chloe pulls back long enough to whisper, "I love you" back before they start to kiss again.

Before the night ends, they are tumbling into Beca's hotel room and they are both fumbling for each other's clothes, slowly undressing each other, enjoying every moment, taking their time, like they have all the time in the world. As they both lie down on the bed and start to move against each other, their bodies saying everything they can't say to each other with words, lips and tongues and fingers all over each other. When she feels Chloe slide deep inside her, Beca catches her breath, feels dizzy, but she realizes at that moment, why she had wanted to get Chloe back, why she wanted to fight for Chloe, why she loved her.

In Chloe's kiss, Beca can feel a gentleness, a kindness she can respond to.

In Chloe's touch, Beca can feel a sense of rightness, as of the world making sense, as if, for the first time, she knows why she _exists_ and what she lives for.

In Chloe's arms Beca feels like she's been…_found_…at last, and there is nowhere else she wants to be but right there, in Chloe's arms. In Chloe's arms is a truth such as she has never known.

In Chloe's fingers, Beca feels reborn, and when she slides inside her, Beca feels full, feels complete, feels like she has_ arrived_ and as she tumbles to the edge, holding Chloe and whispering, over and over and over again, "I love you", she knows this to be true. Chloe smiles back at her, gentle and loving, and says, "I love you, too." She hadn't realized how much she'd missed Chloe all these months until she'd been with her. Beca _needed_ her. She had to _be_ with her.

Beca's father says all great stories start with love. Iliad. Divine Comedy. Paradise Lost. Romeo and Juliet. Even Jane Austen and the darker Emily Bronte and Mary Shelley had, at the core of their stories, love.

Beca's father says it doesn't matter how the story begins, it's how it ends that matters.

And right now, being with Chloe, making love to her, having her welcome Beca with open arms and whispered endearments and small gasps of pleasure, her body, soft and pliant and glistening in the moonlight, pressed close against Beca, so close Beca doesn't know where she ends and where Chloe begins, she knows, without a doubt, that how their story begun never mattered, it's how they are, right now, like this, being as one, that is all that mattered.

That is_ all_ that ever mattered...

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**That's it for this chapter. Hope you like. :) Thanks for reading. Leaving kind reviews would be great and will be much appreciated and will go a long way in finishing this story. There will be only one chapter left (the epilogue) and this story is done.**_

_**Many thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, liking, favoriting and following this story. Apologies for the long wait, w**__**ork and real life got in the way but m**_any thanks for your patience. Many thanks to my beta, DragonsWillFly, always, for the patience and encouragement and for sharing the music (specifically Calvin Harris and Zedd) that inspired me to finish this story. You're awesome. **;)**

_**Also, many thanks to the following for their reviews:**_

_**gossipssweetlips , Dr. Bones206, Coffee Writer Girl, ItsLazyGurl, wayfaringpanda, Duh2042, romeothewriter, DreamingFantasy , smw48910, LeeShaw and especially, kutee, who has always been there right from the get-go. :)**_

_**I'm glad you all liked the previous chapter/s, and the characters (original or not) even though some parts were pretty heavy. Your thoughts and insights into the character/s were all great. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it (and revising it many times).**_

_**My thanks to avclub and io9 as always for the inspiration as well.**_

_**Also, check out the music for this chapter. **__**Songs featured for this chapter:**_

_**"Clarity" by Zedd**_

_**"I Need Your Love" by Ellie Goulding featuring Calvin Harris**_

_**"Sweet Nothing" by Calvin Harris, featuring Florence Welch**_

_**"Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars**_

_**"Titanium" and "Love is Gone" by David Guetta**_

_**"Never Let Me Go" by Florence and the Machine**_

_**"Thriller" and "Beat It" by Michael Jackson (if I'm not mistaken there is actually a dubstep version of "Beat It")**_


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